I totally agree trust is given right away but is earned too

Hi doll.......jumps from across the room and fills thumper's face with kisses......missed my harrasement time with you.

calm down or get a private room lol

And this is why I so adore you.....I have never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life....you meet someone you like someone the trust is just there....they screw up and it is taken away...not rocket science.

The issue of trust is complicated. People who trust too readily often get hurt because of it. Sometimes being a little guarded is not a bad thing. I believe there is a certain amount of trust I can give someone immediately, but I can never trust someone completely right off the bat. People who do that are the ones who respond to those stupid Nigerian emails and give people their bank account numbers. Some trust does have to be earned. Sometimes it is earned through time and sometimes because the person's actions show you they are genuine. "Earned" isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just means that you have given me reason to believe I can trust in you.

get your mind out of the gutter.....just friends here...

oh I don't mean that much trust. Hello they can send those e-mails they can use their own money

oh ok just saying.lol you're jumping across tables

rooms excuse me

Oh darling you are so wrong. I have never fallen for any scam.....If it's to good to be true....Well it just is. I have seen to many people that don't trust or put walls up because of past crap......Why would you not trust completely from the get go...you have no reason not to trust. No trust imo should be earned unless the person screws up and then of course. It's just like people who keep the walls up and I tell them one brick at a time. Do you know how many matches I would not have in the Matchmaking Game if I allowed people to keep their walls up and to live in the past......Get over it and start afresh....that means trusting someone until they give you reason to not.

The heart is a tricky thing....don't make yourself open and stay lonely the rest of your life....Let your be open and the possibilities are endless.

well,, why you gonna go and jump across a table? why not walk around it?

I think you are overgeneralizing a bit. To me, there is no black and white here. You can't really say "Trust everyone completely all the time until they give you a reason not to". You also can't say "Trust no one ever." The truth of human nature is that some people are good and some people are not good. It is naive to think they all are.

I say that from a realist point of view. It's not because I've been hurt or because I'm bitter about anything. It's just the world we live in. Not everyone is to be trusted, and you can get in a lot of trouble if you do trust everyone that comes along.

Maybe your comments were more meant towards everyone in general and not me, but I would also like to point out that my way of doing things hasn't been bad for me. I am madly in love to a phenominal man who is living with me now. I gave him a chance to show me he is worthy of my trust, and it worked out great! I think that a lot of people would rather know that you are choosy and not just willing to trust and date every person that comes along.

I'm not really looking for the highest number of matches possible in a "game". Instead, I waited for the person who could show me they were worth gaining my respect, trust, and love. Maybe you have a different philosophy and that's okay, but I don't think you can really say I'm wrong.

It was funner to leap across.......and it scared the shi* out of ya....that was all worth it right there.

and you would say what if i caught you and just held ya up in the air fer a while??? what you gonna say then?

Of course you can....ok maybe I look at things different.....but I trust all....If I meet someone new I am an open book and I form bonds quick. It's a waste of time to me to put up walls especially if they just are not necessary...and for me it would make me step back and look at myself if I was so damn cynial all the time. And remember you have instincts that are given to each and everyone of us. But what a sad pathetic world to look at the world with no trust or the glass half full instead of full. Life is to live not to say hmmmmm maybe I will get to know this person.....but maybe not.....damn shame if you ask me.

I gave him a chance to show that he is worthy......oh man oh man....and who died and left you queen...everyone is entitlted to the chance to get to know you.......and it's not your job to decide who is worthy all are worthy until you find a reason why they are not. And yes answers for me are general..because honestly I don't really know you.

And your right I apologize for saying you are wrong. It's just my opinion and based on 10 years of doing these threads and being able to read people...It's what I do. And I see it more and more people not giving others a chance because they "don't fit the criteria" again what a waste of meeting some pretty amazing people. I guess it comes down to being an optimist or a pesimist. I always look at the good in all human beings until they give me a reason to believe otherwise...And that has happen many times. But to hold out getting to know someone just because of fear or unrealistic expectations is again to me a waste.

yeeeeeeee hawwwwwww higher thumper higher......

i misunderstood the post for i thought it was "any" female or "any" male to answer the questions... everyone is different and everyone reads what one writes differently. i guess if you have difference of opinion then you certainly must be "wrong" with that have a good day all

it is......and I did apologize if that was intended for me.

Why do I want to perv kitty so bad?

Well, I don't think not trusting everyone unconditionally makes me critical or pessimistic. I do consider myself an optimist. I have never once thought that everything is horrible and bad. I just consider myself realistic. There are a lot of people that can seem smooth and charismatic who are real creeps. Some of the most high profile serial killers of our time were well liked by their neighbors and were able to take advantage of their victims based on their trust. I know that is an extreme example, but the truth is not everyone can be trusted.

I give people a chance to know me, and I like getting to know them. The difference is I will not trust someone just because they are there. If once I get to know them they seem genuine and trustworthy, then they start to gain my trust. Your "instincts" and ability "to read people" are basically serving the same function.

I'm sorry if it is offensive to you that I used the word "worthy." I don't feel it puts me in the position of being a "queen" if I think that my trust and respect are something special. I think of it more in the terms that good things are worth working for. I don't have some unrealistic criteria or list that people have to meet. I'm not looking for just one thing in particular. It's more that I feel trust is something important, and I don't want to give it away to just anyone.

As buttons said,



I'm certainly not trying to convince you of anything, I just think it's important to realize that there could be other valid opinions out there other than your own. I apologize as well if it seemed that I was trying to invalidate your point.