Topic: I need an opinion here..bad
nurjoyce's photo
Thu 09/18/08 06:50 PM
depends on how much you drink, okay to get drunk once in awhile, but not all the time. i had a roommate, only for three weeks. i asked him to leave because he drank too much every day. his personality would change.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 09/18/08 06:58 PM
I won't speak for all women but I can tell you why many women would have trouble with you drinking at home until you get a buzz every day because I know how I would feel.

I would feel bad about you having a job you hate but I have no power to change that.

It would dread you coming home because even if you do nothing overt the tone, the tempo, the mood you put off will be angry and that makes everything toxic.

Since you are not proud of your job I can't by osmosis enjoy it either so their is and entire part of your life I can't enjoy.

If you go to a job you hate that supports me you make me inflict pain on you.

And shame on me. I am a nice person I don't want to live off your misery.

If you come home and get a buzz on you are only bringing half of yourself to the relationship.

When you have a buzz on you are housebound so there is no hope that we will share anything beyond our home together.

It makes me housebound. Even if I haven't been home all day and maybe want to get out and enjoy I have no choice.

You have made me a co-dependant widow of the bottle which carrys no grace or dignity.

When you have a buzz on you don't listen actively so even though I might have something I really need to communicate to you you are only going to absorb it through an alcohol filtered haze.

If I try to play or even move around you with your efforts impaired I can be stepped on, spit on, tripped, or something knocked over on me. You can walk up to me in the kitchen and ruin what I am cooking, scalled me, or ignore something I have worked all day to prepare for you.

If I have sex with you your breath stinks and your body performs with marginal co-ordination and function. You don't respond, follow, or react when you are too rough, forget what you are doing, and may not even notice what my responses are.

I have to constantly worry about getting pregnant because if I am not healthy and safe living with you neither will my child.

If I do get pregnant with you I have a hugely increased chance of misscarriage or a baby born with profound birth defects.

If I do get pregnant the chance that you will under the influence kill me are higher than in almost any other country in the free world.

I have to worry that while you have a buzz on you will break things, scotch things, even set them on fire. You will spill alcohol which stains on the furniture, the rugs, the electronics, and my plants. You may even poison my pets by leaveing it where they can lick it up. You will convienently forget the drool, vomit, urine, and feces that you leave in your trail.

Because I know eventually you are going to loose your job because that buzz hungover the next day too many times I can be homeless.

If you happen to forget to keep getting your buzz on at home you can be arrested and the "family" car impounded.

If you kill someone I will be treated like a piaraha for living with you and not stopping you.

If I try to stop you the likelyhood is you will permenantly injure me, disfigure me, and maybe even kill me.

You most assuredly will not let me leave with any equitable division of property because you have a distorted view of what is yours, mine, or ours.

You have spent so much money on alcohol that our credit is shot.

Because while you had a buzz on you didn't know what the problems were pileing up it is too expensive for counseling to resolve them.

That living with you drunk makes me more suseptible to migrains, hypertension, high colesteral, back injury, vaginal injury, yeast infections, heart disease, bowel problems, arthritis, cancer, and depression .

Because the chronic alcohol poisoning will cause kidney failure, incontinents, and early dementia; and require nurseing home care my home will go to the state for catestrophic care costs.

And because even if I leave you I will forever feel like a failure because I will never again get back the years, never again get back being single, and never really understand that why in the world when I was trying as hard as I could the buzz was more important than me. Society will hold me responsible for somehow some way not making you happy.




talldub's photo
Thu 09/18/08 06:59 PM


I like to drink ALMOST every day. The way I look at it is this: I work my a$$ off everyday doing something that I really don't care to do - so I can get a paycheck and pay my bills....when I get home, I like to drink and enjoy myself - what's wrong with that?


If you wonder if alcohol is an issue in your life, there are many reputable sites that can help you decide.

If you are honest with yourself in answering questions, then you will get an honest assessment. If you are not honest, then you will not get an honest assessment.

If you drink everyday when you get home from work, whether you get "buzzed" or not really does not matter...

just drinking everyday will cause changes in the receptors in your brain and not only will you be psychologically dependent, you will be physiologically dependent as well.

look up "CAGE" assessment and see what you get...then go to WebMD and search for a self assessment with alcohol..

going to work everyday and not getting loaded does NOT mean you do not have issues with alcohol...

Wise woman, I'd listen to her! love

no photo
Thu 09/18/08 07:35 PM

I won't speak for all women but I can tell you why many women would have trouble with you drinking at home until you get a buzz every day because I know how I would feel.

I would feel bad about you having a job you hate but I have no power to change that.

It would dread you coming home because even if you do nothing overt the tone, the tempo, the mood you put off will be angry and that makes everything toxic.

Since you are not proud of your job I can't by osmosis enjoy it either so their is and entire part of your life I can't enjoy.

If you go to a job you hate that supports me you make me inflict pain on you.

And shame on me. I am a nice person I don't want to live off your misery.

If you come home and get a buzz on you are only bringing half of yourself to the relationship.

When you have a buzz on you are housebound so there is no hope that we will share anything beyond our home together.

It makes me housebound. Even if I haven't been home all day and maybe want to get out and enjoy I have no choice.

You have made me a co-dependant widow of the bottle which carrys no grace or dignity.

When you have a buzz on you don't listen actively so even though I might have something I really need to communicate to you you are only going to absorb it through an alcohol filtered haze.

If I try to play or even move around you with your efforts impaired I can be stepped on, spit on, tripped, or something knocked over on me. You can walk up to me in the kitchen and ruin what I am cooking, scalled me, or ignore something I have worked all day to prepare for you.

If I have sex with you your breath stinks and your body performs with marginal co-ordination and function. You don't respond, follow, or react when you are too rough, forget what you are doing, and may not even notice what my responses are.

I have to constantly worry about getting pregnant because if I am not healthy and safe living with you neither will my child.

If I do get pregnant with you I have a hugely increased chance of misscarriage or a baby born with profound birth defects.

If I do get pregnant the chance that you will under the influence kill me are higher than in almost any other country in the free world.

I have to worry that while you have a buzz on you will break things, scotch things, even set them on fire. You will spill alcohol which stains on the furniture, the rugs, the electronics, and my plants. You may even poison my pets by leaveing it where they can lick it up. You will convienently forget the drool, vomit, urine, and feces that you leave in your trail.

Because I know eventually you are going to loose your job because that buzz hungover the next day too many times I can be homeless.

If you happen to forget to keep getting your buzz on at home you can be arrested and the "family" car impounded.

If you kill someone I will be treated like a piaraha for living with you and not stopping you.

If I try to stop you the likelyhood is you will permenantly injure me, disfigure me, and maybe even kill me.

You most assuredly will not let me leave with any equitable division of property because you have a distorted view of what is yours, mine, or ours.

You have spent so much money on alcohol that our credit is shot.

Because while you had a buzz on you didn't know what the problems were pileing up it is too expensive for counseling to resolve them.

That living with you drunk makes me more suseptible to migrains, hypertension, high colesteral, back injury, vaginal injury, yeast infections, heart disease, bowel problems, arthritis, cancer, and depression .

Because the chronic alcohol poisoning will cause kidney failure, incontinents, and early dementia; and require nurseing home care my home will go to the state for catestrophic care costs.

And because even if I leave you I will forever feel like a failure because I will never again get back the years, never again get back being single, and never really understand that why in the world when I was trying as hard as I could the buzz was more important than me. Society will hold me responsible for somehow some way not making you happy.






I appreciate all that....but I do none of those things.....I dunno what else to say

JustAGuy2112's photo
Thu 09/18/08 08:31 PM

I'm fine with it...just don't understand why chicks have such a problem with it - it's not like i'm an a$$hole or violent when i drink...


Because it rarely STAYS in the " I drink till I get a buzz " zone.

Alcoholism is progressive in most cases. At first it's drinking to get a buzz, then it's taking more and more to get the buzz in the first place, then it goes to drinking because your body won't let you NOT drink.

no photo
Fri 09/19/08 07:48 AM

The reason i'm asking is because i got dumped by a woman because of that....


I can see that. I won't get involved with anyone who drinks at all. I've lost too many people I cared about because it killed them. Never again.


no photo
Fri 09/19/08 07:53 AM
why are you questioning ...what you think is right?


I like to drink ALMOST every day. The way I look at it is this: I work my a$$ off everyday doing something that I really don't care to do - so I can get a paycheck and pay my bills....when I get home, I like to drink and enjoy myself - what's wrong with that?

unsure's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:02 AM
I myself would not date a guy who had to have a drink every single day. I want someone who could "unwind" with out having a beer in his hand. Can't you relax on your own? Don't you know how to have fun without alcohol or are you all uptight and you have to use the alcohol to relax you?
I myself, I don't drink so I honestly can't see myself even wanting to be around someone wanting to drink 2 or 3 nights a week. I think maybe you might have a problem if you NEED to drink. There is a difference between NEEDING and WANTING...so which is it for you?
Good luck flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:08 AM

I'm fine with it...just don't understand why chicks have such a problem with it - it's not like i'm an a$$hole or violent when i drink...


Doesn't matter, when the drink becomes more important than your relationships, it's a problem. You don't have to get drunk, or abusive, to be an alcoholic, the only criteria for having an alcohol dependence problem is if you can't or won't go through the day without a drink. If it's causing problems in your life (such as your relationship problem), then you have a problem with alcohol. If you have to ask whether or not other people think it's a problem, then it's a problem.

You, my friend, most likely have a problem with alcohol. Whether you choose to recognize this and do something about it is obviously and ultimately your choice. But trust me, the problem will only get worse over time.

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:25 AM
Can't argue with someone who won't listen to reason. Why bother. I've seen you so drunk on here audie your spellcheck couldn't understand what you were saying. Hell, just go get yourself an alcoholic girlfreind that understands you. There's lots of them in your area. Misery loves company.

ArtGurl's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:29 AM

what else is there to do that I would have the energy for after working all day?



Sorry but that sounds like a problem right there....

If you don't like the job you do then only you can change that.

Using alcohol to 'not feel' is not living...

...using it as an excuse to avoid the 'real' world is not living ...


Life is for living - and it is glorious when you step outside yourself to let it all in ... why settle for less than that?


...and why would a woman settle for less than that? :wink:

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:32 AM


I won't speak for all women but I can tell you why many women would have trouble with you drinking at home until you get a buzz every day because I know how I would feel.

I would feel bad about you having a job you hate but I have no power to change that.

It would dread you coming home because even if you do nothing overt the tone, the tempo, the mood you put off will be angry and that makes everything toxic.

Since you are not proud of your job I can't by osmosis enjoy it either so their is and entire part of your life I can't enjoy.

If you go to a job you hate that supports me you make me inflict pain on you.

And shame on me. I am a nice person I don't want to live off your misery.

If you come home and get a buzz on you are only bringing half of yourself to the relationship.

When you have a buzz on you are housebound so there is no hope that we will share anything beyond our home together.

It makes me housebound. Even if I haven't been home all day and maybe want to get out and enjoy I have no choice.

You have made me a co-dependant widow of the bottle which carrys no grace or dignity.

When you have a buzz on you don't listen actively so even though I might have something I really need to communicate to you you are only going to absorb it through an alcohol filtered haze.

If I try to play or even move around you with your efforts impaired I can be stepped on, spit on, tripped, or something knocked over on me. You can walk up to me in the kitchen and ruin what I am cooking, scalled me, or ignore something I have worked all day to prepare for you.

If I have sex with you your breath stinks and your body performs with marginal co-ordination and function. You don't respond, follow, or react when you are too rough, forget what you are doing, and may not even notice what my responses are.

I have to constantly worry about getting pregnant because if I am not healthy and safe living with you neither will my child.

If I do get pregnant with you I have a hugely increased chance of misscarriage or a baby born with profound birth defects.

If I do get pregnant the chance that you will under the influence kill me are higher than in almost any other country in the free world.

I have to worry that while you have a buzz on you will break things, scotch things, even set them on fire. You will spill alcohol which stains on the furniture, the rugs, the electronics, and my plants. You may even poison my pets by leaveing it where they can lick it up. You will convienently forget the drool, vomit, urine, and feces that you leave in your trail.

Because I know eventually you are going to loose your job because that buzz hungover the next day too many times I can be homeless.

If you happen to forget to keep getting your buzz on at home you can be arrested and the "family" car impounded.

If you kill someone I will be treated like a piaraha for living with you and not stopping you.

If I try to stop you the likelyhood is you will permenantly injure me, disfigure me, and maybe even kill me.

You most assuredly will not let me leave with any equitable division of property because you have a distorted view of what is yours, mine, or ours.

You have spent so much money on alcohol that our credit is shot.

Because while you had a buzz on you didn't know what the problems were pileing up it is too expensive for counseling to resolve them.

That living with you drunk makes me more suseptible to migrains, hypertension, high colesteral, back injury, vaginal injury, yeast infections, heart disease, bowel problems, arthritis, cancer, and depression .

Because the chronic alcohol poisoning will cause kidney failure, incontinents, and early dementia; and require nurseing home care my home will go to the state for catestrophic care costs.

And because even if I leave you I will forever feel like a failure because I will never again get back the years, never again get back being single, and never really understand that why in the world when I was trying as hard as I could the buzz was more important than me. Society will hold me responsible for somehow some way not making you happy.






I appreciate all that....but I do none of those things.....I dunno what else to say
......then noone else does either because you're not listening. Its called denial.

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:36 AM
7 pages of denial. Seek professional medical help.

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:41 AM
Immediately. Today. When you start threads about being offended that a female co-workers pants are too tight and whether or not you should tell her- that's the day I knew something was amiss.

no photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:44 AM
not a damn thing. a man works, and he drinks. thats the law of the land. people don't like it or have some candy land point of view need a rude awakening. this is america. we're ****ed. get over it. and by the way, grab that bottle of jamaican rum and put the damn bottle to your mouth, you jack rabbit.

broncosrock's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:45 AM
Edited by broncosrock on Fri 09/19/08 08:47 AM
I don't mean to sound mean, but #1, I would be looking for a different job, and wouldn't work a job that I hated. #2, I had stressful jobs when I worked, which I loved, but you said you don't have energy to do anything but drink after work? Join a gym, that's what I always did, and it was a lot more invigorating than sitting at home drinking alone. My ex husband died 2 years ago from sitting at home alone drinking, at the age of 54, because some gal broke up with him. We were always friends, and trust me, he didn't start out getting smashed every night, but by the time he died (his liver shut down), we found boxes of Crown Royal purple velvet bags. Two of his friends had quilts made out of some of them! He was successful in business, but ended up dying all alone. Guess I'm not a huge drinker, but when I do have a few, it's when I'm with friends in a social situation, not as a "fix" for a crappy job. Guess people have choices in their lives, and if yours is to stay in a crappy job, drink at home alone to drown your sorrows, it's your life. Wouldn't be my choice. But good luckflowerforyou .

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:46 AM
When you've had to make apology threads in the morning to all the women you insulted the night before on here telling them "You will have to excuse me, I mustve been really drunk" there's a problem.

no photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:47 AM
like i said, law of the land, don't like it, fine.


broncosrock's photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:48 AM

When you've had to make apology threads in the morning to all the women you insulted the night before on here telling them "You will have to excuse me, I mustve been really drunk" there's a problem.

I'd have to second that.

no photo
Fri 09/19/08 08:49 AM
i want a friggin beer just listening to the *****in and moanin. get over it. in moxee washington, kids die so hops grow. accidents in the agriculture business are real. so when you see a beer, there are real people behind it, earning an income out in the country. now thats real. we're blind to you, haters, instagators