beat his ass

we already established we weren't gunna do it that way
x

It works for some,I know my dad never had a prob with it...but then I was usually an angel...

I completely agree that consistency is key.

Firm consistent parenting with consequences you are ready to back up are important but more important is what you do before there is a problem. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure right?

I think most parents are too lazy to be consistent. It's easier to give in, to shut them up with a video game or a treat than to teach them something.

Having children is a gift and although your days with them can seem long they grow quickly and the time you have to share with them and to shape them is brief.

Kids act out when they are young to test their limits. It's normal and healthy. Kids who never test are in as much or more trouble than those problem children. A complacent child is a child at risk as they enter adulthood. Kids also act out when they are unable to exercise. Get him outside.

Kids act out to get the attention of their parents. Read to him. Play in the park with him. Let him know sometimes you feel like acting up yourself!

Make sure there aren't physical reasons he is feeling bad. I am talking ear infections not ADD...medicating our children I don't think is the answer.

Examine the possibility he is or has been abused. Have the courage to look at yourself and the example and climate you provide him.

Ask for help from people who are qualified to provide it. Call Boys Town, speak to your sons teachers, your family,...it's okay to wonder if you are doing the right thing. Every parent who cares wonders if they are doing right.

Remember fear is not the same as respect. If we each taught our children respect we'd all have fewer reasons to fear.

Oh, don't think I am someone who believes in coddling children.

When my chidren wake up nasty, its usually because they didnt sleep good the night before. We try to have a quiet hour before bedtime. My kids dont make it though the whole hour,I have to carry them into their rooms.But sometimes, screw quiet time. They bounce off the walls,then in the morning.... charles manson!

an angel in disguise is more accurate

I don't spank grounding from playing outside or taking away his soda for the day works.I don't reward bad behavior i'm lucky most of the time my son is well behaved

lol, odnt get me going on supernanny. I lvoe the show to a point, it has a lot of good tips, suggestions and ideas. however, there comes a point when you simply have to step up and crack a kids ass (or even an adults; yes I have done so, in the supermarket).
A "spanking" is not a beating. howmany people here, had their hands smacked when they reached for knives, or a hot pan when they were young kids? I am willing to bet every single one of us in here did. now, did that smack hurt us in any way? Sure it probably stung for a couple seconds, but what would have been wrose? the smack to the hand, or the sliced off hand, or third degree burns?

I have said this in many a thread before, but it deserves repeating. To each parent their own method of punishment that they ifnd works for their children. But all punishment HAS to be a several step (or tier) process.

for example (depending on the offense of course) wiht ym family, it is like this:

first step: talking/hollering at, explaining they are wrong
second step: time out, one minute per age
Third step: time out in bed, two minutes per age
Fourth Step: grounding, nap time, loss of privileges, etc.
Fifth step: day spent in room

Now of course, depending on the issue, I may very well skip several steps. For example when my youngest started hitting the babysitters 18 month old toddler, he went straight to fourth step, along with a spanking. The spanking was three cracks to his ass, with my bare hand, to show him what it feels like to be hit by someone bigger than you are, that you cannot defend against. Did I abuse him? Hell no!!! Has he hit the baby sitters toddler again? Hell no!!! He still hits his brother, but hell what brother DOESNT fight with his brother? If htey get too into it, I break them apart and tend to put htem both to bed for a bit.

As far as telling a child that if they do this, you will do that? Depends on how you do it. for example:

"Tell him if he sits there you will take him out and if he doesn't then you wont..." Thismight work once or twice, but very fast the child is going to learn that if he/she wants something, they need to act up and continue to act up until you finally offer what they want in order for them to behave. And trust me every child will learn this lesson very fast. Keep the promises to something like, "if you dont stop misbehaving (insert appropriate issue), then you are going to be grounded."

Good luck and let us all know hw it works out.

Who voted you in as moderator? noone "established" that a spanking wasnt oging to happen. several people spoke out aginst it, you being one of them, but it was never "established" that it wouldnt happen that way.

Ok i know im going to get creamed for saying this but don't take me wrong i come from a family that was very strong on the "rod" it does work but not for every child. You should find out y hes starting this behavior and were hes getting it from then you can see what to do from there. I mean who knows it might just be cause he thinks he can get away with it in that case yea i would say beat his ass. But get the facts first.

Make him write sentences on what he did wrong. My Aunt's two kids and her husband's two kids do it, and it works. For his age, make him write 25 sentences. And if he repeats the SAME offense, double it, so the next time he does that exact same thing, he has to do 50. So, if he hits you, make him write "I won't hit mommy." 25 times. And if he messes up, he has to do it all over again. Either all cursive or all printed. Well, her two kids are in the advanced program, so even though they are only 7 and 9, they always do cursive.

if he is calling you names, smack him in the mouth. not hard that causes bleeding, but firm enough to let him know that you are not going to put up with it. something I wish i had done with my daughter when she was that small....but i thought it would make me a bad mommy if i did.

ur the mom, he is the kid, let him know who is boss and dont forget to love him! sending him to his room to THINK about what he has done is a waste of time. hello, who is going to think with all those kewl toys lying around?

If I were you I would walk out of what ever room he was throwing a fit in and wait till he calms down. Then ask him why he is so angry and tell him it's ok that you won't get angry. He obviously is upset and he is acting this way because he doesn't know how to express his feelings. My son had outbusts like this and I went and bought him a punching bag and when he got angry he would go to the garage and hit the bag then when he was tired he would come in and I would ask him if he wanted to talk. If he said no I left it at that. But for him this works when he gets angry at me or his sister.

I'm goingthrough this with my 3yr old.........our family therapist suggested a time out chair as she can't stand to be ignored...........she has to remain quite for three minutes in a row to think about her behaviour...first time i did it she wound up in time out for 45 min second time 25min and now all i have to do is ask her what happens when if she continous the behaviour and she will tell me time out and usually straighten up. I felt so guilty when we started but it's better than bruises from my child.

my son is 10 i never really had these issues from him, but when he does get out of hand he loses privledges/toys and has to "earn" them back

Don't be quick to spanking:
Spanking is a form of corporal punishment that generally consists of striking the buttocks with either an open hand or an implement. Many countries oppose or prohibit spanking as a form of discipline, and many organizations dedicated to the health of children oppose spanking as a form of discipline.


"Discipline" comes from disciple, which meant learner to ancient Latin-speakers. In a family context, child discipline is a process which generally aims to (a) promote household and family order and harmony, and (b) teach young people how to conduct themselves in society when they live on their own.

In any family, co-parents, kids, and observers can judge the process from "very ineffective" to "consistently effective," depending on whose needs are well-filled or not. In most (all?) families, the role of "active co-parent" usually includes the responsibility to provide "effective child discipline." Your child-discipline process is composed of...

A set of (a) adult values and (b) related behavioral rules (shoulds, ought to's, have to's, and musts), and... stated or implied consequences for minor children; which may be enforced or not;
respectfully or not; by one or more adults.

TRY THESE STEPS TO EFFECTIVE PARENTING:

Increases love and harmony in the home
Promotes mutual respect
Encourages children to become more cooperative
Teaches children the value of work
Motivates children to help around the house
Reduces whining and complaining
Reduces arguing and misbehavior
Reduces parental nagging
Gives children immediate positive feedback for good behavior
Gives immediate corrective feedback for negative behavior
Motivates children to be accountable for their own actions
Encourages children to show love for other people
Encourages children to demonstrate kindness and acts of service
Values family togetherness
Encourages “quantity time” as well as “quality time.”
Encourages husbands and wives to work together as a team
Promotes unity in a marriage and family
Values the power of prayer in your family

perhaps its not the spoiling,but the divorce this child is feeling ,i can remember when it happened to me at a young age,it felt like a bomb had exploded and i had no one to communicate with,i lived with my mother and i became her whipping post,my father went off to take care of some other woman's kids and i never heard from him again..sounds to me that he needs someone ..to fill a special role,so quick are we to punish perhaps instead of time in the corner ..a walk in the park or someone to play with outside a friend,not every case is the same,divorce effects kids more than we are willing to believe or want to believe..i can only speak for myself .so quick are we to look for a band aid instead of curing the problem .. i know there are professionals and some may be quite good,but just try to understand that what he's feeling inside he cant communicate so LOVE...and put yourself in his position and think how you would want someone to treat you ..maybe take him fishing or find away to occupy him with boy things..of course this may be different considering one's perspective.i was left to feel unwanted and in the way ..to this day my mother says im NOTHING..and told me that just a couple of months ago ..some things never change..some scars never heal....take care and cherish the time you both share ..jmo

May be your seven year old just needs to eat. I go through this with mine all the time, he'll get into these moods that are not like him whatsoever, totally irrational, and a complete 7 year old A$$. Forget about time outs or spanking this just makes mine worst and try giving him something with protein ASAP.

Let me know if this works...

And be consistent and persistent with this! If he gets up, turn him right around and put him back. If you keep it up, he'll get the picture.

As for feeling like dirt if you don't spend tons of money on him...that's YOUR issue, not his, and you need to address it. You are only harming him in the longrun with this attitude. He'll come to expect that the world owes him, and you will have an even bigger problem on your hands when he's older.

Children need structure and stability and consistency. They need to know just where "the wall" is and that if they push the wall, it won't move. Be firm...not mean, firm...and show him you have self-respect. He'll never respect you if he sees you don't respect yourself.

Does this child often hit you or others? That needs to be addressed right now. The "crabbiness" is punishable. If you don't spank, you need to sit his little butt down in a "time out" area, make sure he understands what he has done wrong and NOT let him move away from that spot until he has completed his punishment and apologized for this behavior. This tendency towards violence he is exhibiting will only intensify if he has no sense of consequence. If anything he will learn that hitting people will earn him his way. You dont want to wait till he is in prison to focus on the problem.