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Topic: If you found....
MsTeddyBear2u Joined Fri 04/06/07 Posts: 22031	Sun 08/10/08 09:31 AM
Guys have asked me to change the most stupid things..or asked me when I expect them to change themselves..I've always said.."well I'm bout to get a big change in my life right now..I wasn't single before this conversation but I will be by the end of it"

LadyOfMagic Joined Fri 09/29/06 Posts: 4957	Sun 08/10/08 09:31 AM
people underestimate the necessity to change yourself and overestimate the importance of never changing for anything/anyone Why not go find the person that has what you want instead of trying to change someone who is perfectly happy being who they are.

forman562 Joined Tue 11/13/07 Posts: 78	Sun 08/10/08 09:32 AM
looks...no you get me how i am but but i can change only if it does me good as well for instance self esteem. but it also can be very degrading for you

littleike Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 4325	Sun 08/10/08 09:33 AM
Guys have asked me to change the most stupid things..or asked me when I expect them to change themselves..I've always said.."well I'm bout to get a big change in my life right now..I wasn't single before this conversation but I will be by the end of it" well in my opion thats why so many people are single and alone because there to stuborn to try to even change. then people complain about being alone, makes no sense at all

tombraider Joined Wed 09/12/07 Posts: 5042	Sun 08/10/08 09:33 AM
if i were to find the person perfect for me they wouldn't be asking me to change..they would love me just the way i am ...perfect....

littleike Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 4325	Sun 08/10/08 09:35 AM
people underestimate the necessity to change yourself and overestimate the importance of never changing for anything/anyone Why not go find the person that has what you want instead of trying to change someone who is perfectly happy being who they are. no ones perfectly happy with themselfs they just say they are to impress others and scared of the truth or rejection

MsTeddyBear2u Joined Fri 04/06/07 Posts: 22031	Sun 08/10/08 09:36 AM Edited by MsTeddyBear2u on Sun 08/10/08 09:38 AM
if i were to find the person perfect for me they wouldn't be asking me to change..they would love me just the way i am ...perfect.... I know I'm perfectly fine the way I am too! (((Tomb))) (((((Art))))) Speedos/spandex ewwwwwww

ArtGurl Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 17722	Sun 08/10/08 09:36 AM
as one who spent most of her life being what everyone else wanted her to be ... It is much easier just being me ...

LadyOfMagic Joined Fri 09/29/06 Posts: 4957	Sun 08/10/08 09:37 AM
Guys have asked me to change the most stupid things..or asked me when I expect them to change themselves..I've always said.."well I'm bout to get a big change in my life right now..I wasn't single before this conversation but I will be by the end of it" well in my opion thats why so many people are single and alone because there to stuborn to try to even change. then people complain about being alone, makes no sense at all The thing of it is..I am 4'6..85lbs..and confined to a wheelchair..I'm 29yrs old..I'm not gonna grow anymore and I was put in this chair for a reason and no man on earth is gonna get me out of it..and God didn't see fit to take me out of it when I was little and cryin and beggin him to do it for ME..SO I doubt he's gonna take me out of it so I can keep "Bob" ya know?

hinkypoepoe Joined Mon 08/04/08 Posts: 360	Sun 08/10/08 09:37 AM
He!! No-- because that by definition would make them not perfect for me. Sounds like a control freak issue. Compromise is one thing - I'll do the dishes on Monday, Wednesday,Friday and every other Saturday.Thats compromise. Honey we could get your nose fixed with plastic surgery that is not compromise its control!!

ArtGurl Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 17722	Sun 08/10/08 09:38 AM
if i were to find the person perfect for me they wouldn't be asking me to change..they would love me just the way i am ...perfect.... I know I'm perfectly fine the way I am too! (((Tomb))) (((((Art))))) Missed ya (((MsB)))

LadyOfMagic Joined Fri 09/29/06 Posts: 4957	Sun 08/10/08 09:38 AM
people underestimate the necessity to change yourself and overestimate the importance of never changing for anything/anyone Why not go find the person that has what you want instead of trying to change someone who is perfectly happy being who they are. no ones perfectly happy with themselfs they just say they are to impress others and scared of the truth or rejection I am happy the way I am..now..I haven't always been but am now.

soxfan94 Joined Mon 05/28/07 Posts: 3384	Sun 08/10/08 09:39 AM
people underestimate the necessity to change yourself and overestimate the importance of never changing for anything/anyone Why not go find the person that has what you want instead of trying to change someone who is perfectly happy being who they are. I think that presents the issue in too much of a "black or white" stance. First of all, I find it extremely hard to believe that two people are ever perfectly compatible without changing anything about themselves. Secondly, would you want to be with someone who wasn't willing to change at least something about themselves if it would make the relationship better?

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Sun 08/10/08 09:41 AM
people underestimate the necessity to change yourself and overestimate the importance of never changing for anything/anyone Why not go find the person that has what you want instead of trying to change someone who is perfectly happy being who they are. I think that presents the issue in too much of a "black or white" stance. First of all, I find it extremely hard to believe that two people are ever perfectly compatible without changing anything about themselves. Secondly, would you want to be with someone who wasn't willing to change at least something about themselves if it would make the relationship better? Wise man for one so young. But of course, he's a Sox fan.

littleike Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 4325	Sun 08/10/08 09:41 AM
Guys have asked me to change the most stupid things..or asked me when I expect them to change themselves..I've always said.."well I'm bout to get a big change in my life right now..I wasn't single before this conversation but I will be by the end of it" well in my opion thats why so many people are single and alone because there to stuborn to try to even change. then people complain about being alone, makes no sense at all The thing of it is..I am 4'6..85lbs..and confined to a wheelchair..I'm 29yrs old..I'm not gonna grow anymore and I was put in this chair for a reason and no man on earth is gonna get me out of it..and God didn't see fit to take me out of it when I was little and cryin and beggin him to do it for ME..SO I doubt he's gonna take me out of it so I can keep "Bob" ya know? thats totaly diferent, you cant change, i was talking about things we can change, if he wants you out and you cant you have no choice but to move on but first talk to him

LadyOfMagic Joined Fri 09/29/06 Posts: 4957	Sun 08/10/08 09:41 AM
people underestimate the necessity to change yourself and overestimate the importance of never changing for anything/anyone Why not go find the person that has what you want instead of trying to change someone who is perfectly happy being who they are. I think that presents the issue in too much of a "black or white" stance. First of all, I find it extremely hard to believe that two people are ever perfectly compatible without changing anything about themselves. Secondly, would you want to be with someone who wasn't willing to change at least something about themselves if it would make the relationship better? If the relationship isn't working..leave it..don't try to change an adult person.

littleike Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 4325	Sun 08/10/08 09:43 AM
He!! No-- because that by definition would make them not perfect for me. Sounds like a control freak issue. Compromise is one thing - I'll do the dishes on Monday, Wednesday,Friday and every other Saturday.Thats compromise. Honey we could get your nose fixed with plastic surgery that is not compromise its control!! i agree with this

LadyOfMagic Joined Fri 09/29/06 Posts: 4957	Sun 08/10/08 09:43 AM
Guys have asked me to change the most stupid things..or asked me when I expect them to change themselves..I've always said.."well I'm bout to get a big change in my life right now..I wasn't single before this conversation but I will be by the end of it" well in my opion thats why so many people are single and alone because there to stuborn to try to even change. then people complain about being alone, makes no sense at all The thing of it is..I am 4'6..85lbs..and confined to a wheelchair..I'm 29yrs old..I'm not gonna grow anymore and I was put in this chair for a reason and no man on earth is gonna get me out of it..and God didn't see fit to take me out of it when I was little and cryin and beggin him to do it for ME..SO I doubt he's gonna take me out of it so I can keep "Bob" ya know? thats totaly diferent, you cant change, i was talking about things we can change, if he wants you out and you cant you have no choice but to move on but first talk to him Talk to him and say what?.."stop being an idiot"?

AhaloAskewed Joined Wed 02/14/07 Posts: 190	Sun 08/10/08 09:44 AM
One of my friends told me the reason why he won't get a serious gf is because of that question, he likes who he is and how he thinks and it's something he doesn't want to change. Although he admits that the way he thinks won't get him far in this life. but me...I told him one of the really great things about being in a serious relationship isn't so much that your partner actually makes you "change"...its more like..your partner makes you "step up"...In some scenarios...a partner will be asking you to change things about yourself he/she knit picks and complains about..which is a little different...on the other hand...your partner will sometimes encourage you to "step up" in life, because they see something in you, your full potential to "grow" and become something great. So...my answer is yea...I would "change" in a sense...but you should only change when you think there is an actual problem with how you think and handle your life...I for one really did need the change, or else I'd be a bum still.. it depends on your placement in life as well though..where you're currently at...if you got everything set already, your doing what you love for a living, happy with yourself, etc...then hell no! thats when u tell them "don't let the door hit your ass"

soxfan94 Joined Mon 05/28/07 Posts: 3384	Sun 08/10/08 09:45 AM Edited by soxfan94 on Sun 08/10/08 09:46 AM
If the relationship isn't working..leave it..don't try to change an adult person. I think we're looking at this from different perspectives...I'm not talking about situations where the relationship isn't working as-is. I'm speaking about when the relationship is already working, but could be improved (even if only a little) by some small change. I'm not referring to personality altering changes or anything huge, just small habits and whatnot that a person can change to make things better in the relationship. Edit: I'm also not trying to condone "changing" someone else, only the suggestion that maybe the change themselves.