thats why im asking if i should 'MAKE" HER

I don't think you can call antisocial wierd. As long as she's not trying to harm herself or doing other things behind closed doors ,like starting the place on fire.then you might have cause for concern.I am sure there are other things going on that you need to address before making a call to the socical services to get her looked at .Try talking things out and find the root of the problems if you can and go from there ..good luck

Some churches offer free or reduced counseling. Look in to it. good luck

Deb, you need to just tell her you are going to take her to her doc for a checkup, tell her it's for a yearly checkup. Set it up and speak to the Dr ahead of time, explain the situation so he knows going in what to look for without you having to say it in front of your Mother. That is what I did.

Well then you might have to forcibly bring her in for an evaluation. You and your brother. She will fight you but that is a strong indication she is suffering from some kind of a mental disorder. What exactly, is hard to determine. That why you need a doctor. The other issue is that if she is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s you might be doing more harm than good by not getting her on some preventative meds. They go down hill quickly.

she has been diagnosed with cateracks in her eyse 2 weeks ago we have long told her she isnt driving well all we would hear is "i can see just fine!" yet she was almost side swipping cars down a residental street... would not listen to us...

When my mother was diagnosed with Altzheimers she was in early onset. She'd had some dementia but nothing really severe. Her doc will ask her a series of questions and based on how she does, is how they determine the stage, or if he thinks it's that at all.

Well sounds like your brother is in denial of the truth and don't want to get out on his own. But I do believe it is the first step that should be taken. No telling what he is telling her that he needs ect and well it is her child.

We do tend too as parents give our last dime to our kids if we think they need it. Even if we don't realize we are being taken advantage of at the time. Think I would look closer into the situation might be somethings you are missing and brother might not be telling the whole story.

Hey we must look at it all before we think it is their minds going. Always best to check every avenue in the process.

The most precious possession that ever comes

To a man in this world

Is a woman's heart.

ok ill spill some.... she says she cant use her own kitchen... cant watch tv... cause my brother lives there says she cant take a bath.. cant use her own phone... and to boot... my brother found a container under her bed that had pee in it! and she has told me she cant use her own bathroom!

Ok THERE you have to take the keys! Or the car, one. That is dangerous for her and for others. It's so hard I know I had to do it and I was met with the same "I can drive just fine" thing too. Unfortunately it comes to a point of role reversal.

Deb, that situation is in need of a Dr Visit hon. And I spill something too then. One thing I noticed also about my Mom was a change in bathroom habits....

I agree with this very much so.

My kids Grandmother has cataracts and fixing to have surgery she is 81 now and we have all told her she should not be driving. Which she has agreed to stop till after the surgery.

Just step in make the Doctor App. whether she likes it or not and step in on the brother situation. They will see in the end your right.

he did today tell me he would leave.. or would for 2 weeks and me live there alotta good that would do me a extra 60 miles to work everday when i already spend my savings.. she lived with me before and she was depressed then...

Humm yep her world has been turned upside down she feels as if she is trapped time for brother to find his own nest to perch in.

well i told them both today... both upset i guess i dont care anymore.. that situation isnt helping either one of them nor me i hate negativity brings me down

you might consider seeing someone yourself first
because they could explain the situation and options
to you if they are in the psych field - might help
you evaluate and weigh your options.

to me it sounds like she may be a little depressed
also but you know she will ultimately have to cooperate
with her own recovery from whatever is bothering her.

unless of course she is really incapacitated but from
what you describe i'm not sure that is the case...

Sometimes a simple UTI
can cause delusions and paranoia in the elderly if left untreated so she should have a full checkup to rule this out.

I think the brother thing is a two-edged sword. I say this because I had a brother that lived with my Mother when this all started with us too. In our case his being there was a HUGE help to make sure the stove was off etc. I'm not sure depression would make one keep a potty under the bed etc. That to me sounds like something more. And my brother was in big time denial also. I had to make the dr appt, take her, and just step in. It's tough.

i saw her get better when she lived alone... and lot less negative... im sure this is a lot of it... when she gets stressed seems she is mental.. so i should make her make dr apt and ill take her or im calling aging services on her