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| Topic: what do you do? | |
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when your mother seems so mentally unstable, negative all the time, cant say a thing nice about anyone anymore, lives in misery<i think by her choice> paranoid.. etc? im worried about her. stuff she says is only half truth ... CYNICAL??? thats my mom. Ive learned to not tell her any of my plans or new ideas as she will give me 29 reasons why it wont work or how it is a dumb idea. |
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You have been given a lot of straight from the hip advice. I think people just dont want to sugar coat it for you and let you know how bad it could possibly be. That way, when its less severe than all that, you will have more options.
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You have been given a lot of straight from the hip advice. I think people just dont want to sugar coat it for you and let you know how bad it could possibly be. That way, when its less severe than all that, you will have more options. 
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I have not been able to find much in the way of assitance. Offer up a link if you can. That would be helpful. They tend to look at your income and that of the elderly person's savings. They want all that first and THEN they might kick in a little. http://www.grants.gov/ http://www.usagovernmentgrants.org/ http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Benefits.shtml http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/weekly/aa060400a.htm |
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 08/02/08 02:09 PM
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Thanks amathyst but I dont think it will work in my case. I have a relative thats in her 80s and she has savings so they basically will not offer a grant. Thats what I have been told already. It probably would work if she had nothing though.
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I have not been able to find much in the way of assitance. Offer up a link if you can. That would be helpful. They tend to look at your income and that of the elderly person's savings. They want all that first and THEN they might kick in a little. http://www.grants.gov/ http://www.usagovernmentgrants.org/ http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Benefits.shtml http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/weekly/aa060400a.htm
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Thanks amathyst but I dont think it will work in my case. I have a relative thats in her 80s and she has savings so they basically will not offer a grant. Thats what I have been told already. It probably would work if she had nothing though. |
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Edited by
Amathyst2
on
Sat 08/02/08 02:22 PM
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I have not been able to find much in the way of assitance. Offer up a link if you can. That would be helpful. They tend to look at your income and that of the elderly person's savings. They want all that first and THEN they might kick in a little. http://www.grants.gov/ http://www.usagovernmentgrants.org/ http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Benefits.shtml http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/weekly/aa060400a.htm
No problem. I wish you the best. Make sure you keep us informed. I hope everything sorts itself out.
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 08/02/08 02:25 PM
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Well shes not a blood relative but I got stuck with her care. Long story there. I have no connection to her but her children refuse to take care of her. Anyway, its kind of sad. Lets stick to your situation.
If you have nothing and she has nothing, then they cant just throw her into the cold night. She will be entitled to something. It probably wont be the best care but something. When it really gets high is when they require registered nurses to administer meds. That will inflate the bill automatically because that staff needs to be paid for by the facility. Its the law. Also with the dementia or Alzheimer’s they require that and security if wandering is a problem which it can be with old folks. All of these issues need to be taken into account if and when you need to search for a home for her. |
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Well shes not a blood relative but I got stuck with her care. Long story there. I have no connection to her but her children refuse to take care of her. Anyway, its kind of sad. Lets stick to your situation. If you have nothing and she has nothing, then they cant just throw her into the cold night. She will be entitled to something. It probably wont be the best care but something. When it really gets high is when they require registered nurses to administer meds. That will inflate the bill automatically because that staff needs to be paid for by the facility. Its the law. Also with the dementia or Alzheimer’s they require that and security if wandering is a problem which it can be with old folks. All of these issues need to be taken into account if and when you need to search for a home for her. |
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update.... brother answered the phone .. my mom just got back... said she was at the old peoples home for aging and dissability home<after i asked where she was and asked who ran it> said she went to play cards hummm then she said bunko? i said hummmm card game huh? she replied well game day and no one was there to play cards with... funny eh?so she went to a tent sale instead... ok and said she just went to a dr... i said for what your eyes? she says i dont need to go back to doc i cant afford it if you want to call aging services i cant stop ya just go ahead ... i gave her the option at the first of the call to go to doc <with me and ill drive> and my brother moves out or else ill call aging services... so now she refuses to go and told me to call... also said for what my mental instalibilty? i replied... no cause you are depressed i love you dont like to see u this way.. and you arent taking care of yourself when u are depressed.. course it got turned around on me... <denial part> cause my job isnt so good...then she hung up on me saying she is going to play cards ojn her computer... ok so now what help ME PLEASE?
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wow over 2 hours no ideas?
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Deb...I still think you need to just make that drs appt with her g.p. and talk to him/her ahead of time so from the moment y'all walk in the exam room, he knows what to be watching for. Tell her, I've made an appt for a checkup just a yearly thing, and I'm taking you. I had to take my Mother to some she swore she'd never go to...but she did.
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Deb...I still think you need to just make that drs appt with her g.p. and talk to him/her ahead of time so from the moment y'all walk in the exam room, he knows what to be watching for. Tell her, I've made an appt for a checkup just a yearly thing, and I'm taking you. I had to take my Mother to some she swore she'd never go to...but she did. |
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She will go. Call her doc and just make the appt. If she has a g.p. they likely already have her ins card i.d. on file.
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She will go. Call her doc and just make the appt. If she has a g.p. they likely already have her ins card i.d. on file. |
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She will....you might just have to turn up the kindness volume a bit to get her to go...lol.
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She will....you might just have to turn up the kindness volume a bit to get her to go...lol. 
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sun 08/03/08 12:55 PM
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Yeah I agree with auburn. The reality is that if you don’t start taking control of this situation, you and your brother will be on the hook financially. Basically, they go after next of kin if medical treatment or old age facilities are required for care and your mother has nothing or she’s hiding it. They pursue the next income source which is the children. If you guys don’t pay, she becomes a ward of the state.
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Edited by
Amathyst2
on
Sun 08/03/08 01:12 PM
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Very true words. Here is an idea, BUT only as a last resort. Trick her into going. Make her think your going some where. Then go to this place. Then after that take her to her doctor's appointment.
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