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| Topic: what do you do? | |
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like i said all they do is argue my mom and him to the point my stomach turns... 2 xmas ago i even threw up over it from my nerves i am sorry because you are the one in the middle.their oil and water relationship sounds like 90 percent of Moms problem.No one wants to fight and feel stress under their own roof all the time.brother needs to go either by himself or a police escort. |
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Edited by
buttons
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:23 PM
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i cant be around both of them at the same time.... one at a time yes not both wow.sounds like poor mom is stressed out and you are too.maybe she resents your brother being there and is doing things to freak him out.its good he is moving,it may just be the ticket to help her perk up. |
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i guess what im going to have to do is threaten to call aging dept... if she wont go to the dr with me and my brother doesnt move...then from there ill moniter her
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and that i have to go in the room with the dr too and tell him everything lol!
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thanks soooo much everyone!
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I'm sorry you're going this. I know for a fact that depression can have this affect on people. If she is in denial then that really limits what you can do. With all due respect, your brother is taking advantage of the situation. I would sit down with your mom and ask her what is wrong. Ask why she is feeling so negative. You may or may not get a direct answer. But it's worth a try. The key here is to find out what triggered this. Then maybe you can find a solution. Really listen and read between the lines. Maybe try to get her out of the house and do something with just the two of you. All you can do is be there for and love her. If she doesn't come out of this, then I would seriously consider trying to talk her into getting some medical help. Please keep us informed and best wishes.
Okay.. This is on a whole new level then. There are options. Do you think she could take care of herself if your brother wasn't there? I do not know how old your mother is, but if she cannot take care of herself and she is abusive to the both of you, then have you considered finding a nice elderly community for her? They have cottages where they get their own small apartment and they bring them their meals and medicine like clock work. |
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and that i have to go in the room with the dr too and tell him everything lol! Deb when you call to make the appt, have the dr call you back and speak to him about what has been going on. That way you don't have to tell anything in FRONT of your mother, yet he is aware of the situation.
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:32 PM
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And those are what? $4000-$5000 a month if they have nursing staff providing meds? I agree its an option but may not be possible if the funds are not available. A crappy nursing home (not assisted living) but actual home can run you $2500 a month and that is a sub standard one where the old folks are not kept in very nice conditions.
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Edited by
buttons
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:33 PM
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I'm sorry you're going this. I know for a fact that depression can have this affect on people. If she is in denial then that really limits what you can do. With all due respect, your brother is taking advantage of the situation. I would sit down with your mom and ask her what is wrong. Ask why she is feeling so negative. You may or may not get a direct answer. But it's worth a try. The key here is to find out what triggered this. Then maybe you can find a solution. Really listen and read between the lines. Maybe try to get her out of the house and do something with just the two of you. All you can do is be there for and love her. If she doesn't come out of this, then I would seriously consider trying to talk her into getting some medical help. Please keep us informed and best wishes.
Okay.. This is on a whole new level then. There are options. Do you think she could take care of herself if your brother wasn't there? I do not know how old your mother is, but if she cannot take care of herself and she is abusive to the both of you, then have you considered finding a nice elderly community for her? They have cottages where they get their own small apartment and they bring them their meals and medicine like clock work. |
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And those are what? $4000-$5000 a month if they have nursing staff providing meds? I agree its an option but may not be possible if the funds are not available. A crappy nursing home (not assisted living) but actual home can run you $2500 a month and that is a sub standard one where the old folks are not kept in very nice conditions. |
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:37 PM
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67 would seem a little young for an Alzheimers diagnosis but it isnt unheard of. It sounds to me more like she is just under a lot of stress right now. Worse case scenerio, it might be early stage dementia which is not as serious of a condition as Alzheimers but it is degenerative and they tend to get worse and worse.
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also have told her this too before if she feels that need to rid my brother she could allpy to get her section 8 transfered to the county i live in and stay with me...
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And those are what? $4000-$5000 a month if they have nursing staff providing meds? I agree its an option but may not be possible if the funds are not available. A crappy nursing home (not assisted living) but actual home can run you $2500 a month and that is a sub standard one where the old folks are not kept in very nice conditions. Well certainly they can be expensive. I would research into some government programs that would assist in paying for this. There is so much out there in the way of cost of living grants that never have to be paid back. Given the situation, she would most likely qualify for these. |
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:40 PM
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I have not been able to find much in the way of assitance. Offer up a link if you can. That would be helpful. They tend to look at your income and that of the elderly person's savings. They want all that first and THEN they might kick in a little.
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Edited by
buttons
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:49 PM
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i know if i were that old too i would want to live on my own if possible for as long as i could... so i want to rule out everything else first and let her keep some freedom
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I have not been able to find much in the way of assitance. offer up a link if you can. That woudl be helpful. They tend to look at your income and the income and that of the elderly person's savings. They wants all that first and THEN they might kick in a little. |
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:42 PM
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Well unless you can find a grant of some kind, they will require all of her savings is what i meant and once that is gone, you and your brother will need to pull together. Thats if she requires assited living or nursing care. Its not cheap.
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also have told her this too before if she feels that need to rid my brother she could allpy to get her section 8 transfered to the county i live in and stay with me... That is definitely another option. 67 is relatively young. Maybe you should help her get everything switched over. You know that you can get paid to care for her full time if needed. It isn't a whole lot, but it is enough to get by. |
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when your mother seems so mentally unstable, negative all the time, cant say a thing nice about anyone anymore, lives in misery<i think by her choice> paranoid.. etc? im worried about her. stuff she says is only half truth ... CYNICAL??? thats my mom. Ive learned to not tell her any of my plans or new ideas as she will give me 29 reasons why it wont work or how it is a dumb idea. |
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Edited by
buttons
on
Sat 08/02/08 01:51 PM
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Well unless you can find a grant of some kind, they will require all of her savings is what i meant and once that is gone, you and your brother will need to pull together. Thats if she requires assited living or nursing care. Its not cheap. |
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