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| Topic: First Date Etiquette | |
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Edited by
Gianni18
on
Fri 07/25/08 07:59 AM
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Lilith,
I obviously agree with your first impression of the guy. But are you sure he wasn't just unconfident and shy? If he was, it could explain why he didn't look into your eyes. Maybe he thought the date went badly and was even more nervous about asking you for another one. And with respect to talking about his ex. Maybe he's not over her, or maybe he wants you to know where he's coming from, wants you to know that he doesn't want to be hurt again. And if he was shy and nervous, he might have had trouble just being himself. He might have had a hard time opening up yet wanted you to get to know him, so he discussed his previous relationship because he thought it would give you a window into his personality, though he didn't realize that it would actually turn you off. It's a common mistake in shy and unconfident guys... I should know But maybe not... I didnt see him, I'm just throwing the idea at you. |
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Yes, first dates are hard. I like to talk about work, current events, family, tell funny stories. That sort of thing.
Posturing is not a good idea. I'm impressed by people being themselves. Did I mention he wore a ball cap? That was not impressive. Jeans and t shirt I'm cool with, but once you throw on the hat it becomes sort of like what, you can't shower or brush your hair? |
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Yes, first dates are hard. I like to talk about work, current events, family, tell funny stories. That sort of thing. Posturing is not a good idea. I'm impressed by people being themselves. Did I mention he wore a ball cap? That was not impressive. Jeans and t shirt I'm cool with, but once you throw on the hat it becomes sort of like what, you can't shower or brush your hair?  I actually like men in a ball cap
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RO you are a very wise man! I thank you for the compliment, but I see no evidence to support your claim.
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So RO can you explain why people give the whole I don't watch TV or listen to mainstream radio line. It is such a line. It's the 'mainstream' thing that has me bothered. Somehow it implies 'radical'. I am not going to defend the guy, but first dates really are hard. You can be the funniest and most charming guy in the world and somehow, on a first date, not have a witty or interesting thing to say. (back me on this Elaine, lol) Keep fishing. At least you have a lake to fish in. *straightens out TK's leather jacket and nods furiously in the background* S'true - even the good ones can sometimes get shell-shocked (or so I hear ... having not been on an actual date yet to compile my own evidence. D'oh!) |
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Yes, first dates are hard. I like to talk about work, current events, family, tell funny stories. That sort of thing. Posturing is not a good idea. I'm impressed by people being themselves. Did I mention he wore a ball cap? That was not impressive. Jeans and t shirt I'm cool with, but once you throw on the hat it becomes sort of like what, you can't shower or brush your hair? Does he have hair or was he hiding a "chrome dome?" |
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Lilith, I obviously agree with your first impression of the guy. But are you sure he wasn't just unconfident and shy? If he was, it could explain why he didn't look into your eyes. Maybe he thought the date went badly and was even more nervous about asking you for another one. And with respect to talking about his ex. Maybe he's not over her, or maybe he wants you to know where he's coming from, wants you to know that he doesn't want to be hurt again. And if he was shy and nervous, he might have had trouble just being himself. He might have had a hard time opening up yet wanted you to get to know him, so he discussed his previous relationship because he thought it would give you a window into his personality, though he didn't realize that it would actually turn you off. It's a common mistake in shy and unconfident guys... I should know But maybe not... I didnt see him, I'm just throwing the idea at you. |
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Silver~ I actually will talk politics on a first date..... I need to find out if they are republican.... ^^ *SNOOOORT* Ummm...errrm...I honestly don't watch much TV at ALL (as you know)...well, except for CNN and I am shamefully "hooked" on that show The Deadliest Catch, so I hope that keeps me in the running.  I NEVER listen to mainstream radio tho...YUCK! Well, except for an occassional earful of NPR now and again. I tend to keep up with current/past events via newspapers, books and the internet...and I then I still only believe half of what I read.  Honestly, while I understand and respect your need for eye contact...I'm quite a shy person and can tend to have difficulty with this upon first meeting someone, so perhaps this was the case with your fella last night. Altho, it certainly does not negate his major boo-boo of whining about his ex. |
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I feel for ya lilith. I too met a guy last night. I even picked an easy place for him to find. McD's. I had to buy my own soda. And then why do they think just cause we meet them they have the right to get all tongues and hands. That is so disrespectfull. Would they want their daughters or moms treated like that?
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G~
Yes, he mentioned he was shy. That is not an excuse for rude behavior. I see what you are saying, but trust me, wounded and disrespectful to the current date, to me is not the way to attract a person. Talking about an ex, in the way that he did, would require stupidity if he did not see it was a date death sentence. He just sent me a mail saying he had a "real nice time" and wants to get together again. Jill I like ball caps too, but they are too casual for a first date. I want to see what my date looks like! |
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RO you are a very wise man! I thank you for the compliment, but I see no evidence to support your claim. You're welcome and maybe I should have4 just said thanks for the insight into the male mind! |
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I feel for ya lilith. I too met a guy last night. I even picked an easy place for him to find. McD's. I had to buy my own soda. And then why do they think just cause we meet them they have the right to get all tongues and hands. That is so disrespectfull. Would they want their daughters or moms treated like that? "all tongues and hands" At McDonald's? Oh, that's just not appropriate ... *dying laughing here* You ladies are making my day with your crazy stories - sorry for your frustration, but it is fun to commiserate with you! 
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RO you are a very wise man! I thank you for the compliment, but I see no evidence to support your claim. You're welcome and maybe I should have4 just said thanks for the insight into the male mind!
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I feel for ya lilith. I too met a guy last night. I even picked an easy place for him to find. McD's. I had to buy my own soda. And then why do they think just cause we meet them they have the right to get all tongues and hands. That is so disrespectfull. Would they want their daughters or moms treated like that? Oh honey that is worse than my date. I'm so horrified for you. What did you do? |
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I feel for ya lilith. I too met a guy last night. I even picked an easy place for him to find. McD's. I had to buy my own soda. And then why do they think just cause we meet them they have the right to get all tongues and hands. That is so disrespectfull. Would they want their daughters or moms treated like that? "all tongues and hands" At McDonald's? Oh, that's just not appropriate ... *dying laughing here* You ladies are making my day with your crazy stories - sorry for your frustration, but it is fun to commiserate with you! go ahead laugh, I am. But at Mcd's!!! Sheesh I didnt even get dinner. |
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I had the same experiance only on the date he not only looked at all the other girls but commented about them and said it was a guy thing. He said he wanted to continue seeing me but those kind of guys seriousely need a therapist. Getting into a relationship with a guy like that could be scarey as if they hate women....
Guys um be in the moment !!! No one likes to be compared or have to compete for your attention. If we hear how you comment about other girls we would only imagine you doing that with us... |
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told him that this wasnt the place for this and I feel very uncomfortable. Then I said my daughter is waiting for me and I have to go now. Said g'night and left.
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I feel for ya lilith. I too met a guy last night. I even picked an easy place for him to find. McD's. I had to buy my own soda. And then why do they think just cause we meet them they have the right to get all tongues and hands. That is so disrespectfull. Would they want their daughters or moms treated like that? "all tongues and hands" At McDonald's? Oh, that's just not appropriate ... *dying laughing here* You ladies are making my day with your crazy stories - sorry for your frustration, but it is fun to commiserate with you! ..... I take it you don't mean 'on the menu'.... because that's about right for McDonald's... |
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Lilith, I obviously agree with your first impression of the guy. But are you sure he wasn't just unconfident and shy? If he was, it could explain why he didn't look into your eyes. Maybe he thought the date went badly and was even more nervous about asking you for another one. And with respect to talking about his ex. Maybe he's not over her, or maybe he wants you to know where he's coming from, wants you to know that he doesn't want to be hurt again. And if he was shy and nervous, he might have had trouble just being himself. He might have had a hard time opening up yet wanted you to get to know him, so he discussed his previous relationship because he thought it would give you a window into his personality, though he didn't realize that it would actually turn you off. It's a common mistake in shy and unconfident guys... I should know But maybe not... I didnt see him, I'm just throwing the idea at you. But, when you're nervous you forget all of that. After all... the burden to impress is felt heavier by the man. Be it right or not, that's how men feel on first dates. And that causes a guy to be really nervous, he might not even realize he's talking about his ex. |
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told him that this wasnt the place for this and I feel very uncomfortable. Then I said my daughter is waiting for me and I have to go now. Said g'night and left. So, we can expect another 'Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last' thread sometime today?  They just don't get it, do they ... 
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