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Topic: LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
mrscupcake's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:44 AM
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around

tim20721's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:46 AM
Edited by tim20721 on Wed 06/04/08 10:46 AM

Leisure Johnny serves another round of drinks before asking,' Hey has anyone ever heard about the Lucky Guy?"

Yea I get enough juice in these hotties and I'll be him:wink:

tearsofblood666's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:46 AM

Leisure Johnny serves another round of drinks before asking,' Hey has anyone ever heard about the Lucky Guy?"


Who lucky guy?

no photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:46 AM
STORYTELLER NOTE:

You are not limited to 3 crushes. If you have more crushes go ahead and add them to your crush list! Also make sure you put after the screenname / 0%


If you have a crush in the the bar, go ahead and buy roses or something and raise the crush bar.

:smile:

no photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:47 AM
Oh yeah the lucky guy that is. Well you see a deformed and ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the bartender.

"I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks; like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything; me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno...never found the head."

mrscupcake's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:47 AM


Leisure Johnny serves another round of drinks before asking,' Hey has anyone ever heard about the Lucky Guy?"
R u trying to get fresh with me
Yea I get enough juice in these hotties and I'll be him:wink:

no photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:47 AM

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around


laugh you got my laugh. Two more to go!

tim20721's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:49 AM
(wiggling to the tunes makes his way to cali) whatcha know bout that uniformed honey was in here before?

tearsofblood666's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:49 AM

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around


laugh laugh

mrscupcake's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:49 AM
wow this margarita is really kicking in * I think I will sing

no photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:49 AM


A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around


laugh laugh


one more laugh and you got a thousand dollars!

tearsofblood666's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:50 AM
laugh

Oh yeah the lucky guy that is. Well you see a deformed and ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the bartender.

"I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks; like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything; me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno...never found the head."



laugh

tim20721's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:51 AM



Leisure Johnny serves another round of drinks before asking,' Hey has anyone ever heard about the Lucky Guy?"
R u trying to get fresh with me
Yea I get enough juice in these hotties and I'll be him:wink:



babycakes I'm never fresh, just obscene!

no photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:52 AM
Leisure Larry slides the daily newspaper for anyone to read.

****************************

SINFUL CITY NEWS TRIBUNE

****************************

LEISURE SUITS JOHNNY’S SONS JOKE:

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

EVENT OF THE DAY:

A lady walked up to a man and offered to give him a xoxoxo if he would get her a plate of pasta. The man didn’t deny and went on with it.
Now my question? Technically speaking – Wouldn’t that make her a pasta- tute?

SPECIAL OFFER:

A one time offer! Buy 5 roses for $20 and give them to your crush to raise your bar to 25%

HOROSCOPE:

MEN: You've got a lot to do, but don't expect to get much cooperation from the people who are supposed to be in your corner. Professionalism should be your main focus today. It is time to take the next step in your career and move a little closer to achieving your goals. Avoid making any offhand remarks around new acquaintances.
Romance: Good | Finance: Good | Health: Fair
Lucky Numbers: 21, 48, 49, 52

WOMEN: Share a few of your thoughts with the right people instead of everything with everyone. Do not hesitate to voice your opinions at a group meeting. Others will take notice of your creativity and initiative. Communicate with your colleagues, but avoid becoming too emotional.
Romance: Good | Finance: Good | Health: Good
Lucky Numbers: 19, 23, 31, 38

FLIRT FOR MONEY OF THE DAY:

Tell someone in the forum that they have the most beautiful lips. Explain why they are beautiful or look great. You get $500.00.

tim20721's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:55 AM

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around
laugh

tearsofblood666's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:55 AM
Ok here is one more for ya'll



A husband said to his wife, "Your mother has been living with us for 5 years now. Isn't it time she got herself her own apartment?"
"My mother?" said the shocked wife, "WTF,I thought she was your mother."


mrscupcake's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:55 AM


babycakes I'm never fresh, just obscene!
Well r u trying to get obscene * wait what's obscene

1956CLEO's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:56 AM
*Swishes falls in the door, landing flat on her face.* She gets up and goes straight to the bar, as if nothing happened! Hey there girlie! *Wiping her face smudging her make up* Whatcha got on special for drinks today?

no photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:57 AM

Ok here is one more for ya'll



A husband said to his wife, "Your mother has been living with us for 5 years now. Isn't it time she got herself her own apartment?"
"My mother?" said the shocked wife, "WTF,I thought she was your mother."




laugh

tim20721's photo
Wed 06/04/08 10:58 AM

wow this margarita is really kicking in * I think I will sing

A song from an angel, those sweet lips should bring the birds from the trees and bees delivering honey

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