*Swishes falls in the door, landing flat on her face.* She gets up and goes straight to the bar, as if nothing happened! Hey there girlie! *Wiping her face smudging her make up* Whatcha got on special for drinks today?

Yo baatenda I heard you have the bestest and dirtiest martnis, can a girl get one ova here?!

I think I have had one to many already * I just fell over by the table and wasted the last one that I had on me * Now all my colors in my dress are fading

Larry Leisure takes the toothpick out of his mouth and begins to pour olive juice into a shaker. He spills half of it on the counter as his face turns red. He takes the cheap vodka he bought at the gas station and starts pouring it in not knowing how much goes in. Counting to 10 he stops. He then shakes the shaker trying to look good at the process to only splash half on his suit. He then shakes his head and says in a low tone, " I forgot to put ice in this," as he puts some ice cubes in and tries to shake again. After much struggle he pours the content in a martini glass as it fills half way.

With a big sigh he serves the drink to the customer.

Thank ya!!! Swishes turns it up and in one gulp the drink is gone! Hey there Your handsomeness, can I get another?


I've got a joke for ya!

Maxine says:


To make it stand,
you wet it !


To make it wet,
you suck it !


To make it stiff,
you lick it !


To get it in,
You push it!


Damn !!!!!!!

Threading a needle when you're older is a *****

Thank ya!!! Swishes turns it up and in one gulp the drink is gone! Hey there Your handsomeness, can I get another?


I've got a joke for ya!

Maxine says:


To make it stand,
you wet it !


To make it wet,
you suck it !


To make it stiff,
you lick it !


To get it in,
You push it!


Damn !!!!!!!

Threading a needle when you're older is a *****

Thank ya!!! Swishes turns it up and in one gulp the drink is gone! Hey there Your handsomeness, can I get another?


I've got a joke for ya!

Maxine says:


To make it stand,
you wet it !


To make it wet,
you suck it !


To make it stiff,
you lick it !


To get it in,
You push it!


Damn !!!!!!!

Threading a needle when you're older is a *****

can I join in I love to sing

Thank ya!!! Swishes turns it up and in one gulp the drink is gone! Hey there Your handsomeness, can I get another?


I've got a joke for ya!

Maxine says:


To make it stand,
you wet it !


To make it wet,
you suck it !


To make it stiff,
you lick it !


To get it in,
You push it!


Damn !!!!!!!

Threading a needle when you're older is a *****

All the pushing and stuff reminds me of this :

A certain married couple had a very healthy sex life. They had sex everyday; in the shower, on the kitchen counter, everywhere imaginable. In fact the wife was somewhat of a nymphomaniac.
One day the husband announced that he would be going on a week-long business trip. Deciding that she couldn't go the week without sex she decided to visit a sex shop after she dropped him off at the airport. She was looking at the selections of dildo's and could not find what she was looking for. She asked the man at the counter if he had anything really special. The man hesistated, looked around the shop, and took a deep breath, "I really shouldn't be showing you this, but you look like a very special lady." He took an old looking wooden box out from under the counter and removed the lid. As the woman looked inside she announced that it was just like any other in the store. The man said, "Ah, but you see, it most certainly is not! It is the voodoo penis and all you have to do is say "voodoo penis" and then where ever you want it to go." The man decided to demonstrate the powers of the "voodoo penis". He commanded, "VOODOO PENIS, THE DOOR!" The dildo rose from the box and began its work on the door. The door began to buckle and sway. Splinters of wood flew around the room. The man yelled, "Voodoo Penis, return to the box!" The woman was so impressed with it she bought it right away and took it straight home.
The woman, excited to try it, undressed and commanded, "Voodoo Penis my crotch!" The penis went straight to pumping. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she decided that it was enough, only she had forgotten how to return it to the box. After tugging for what seemed like hours, she decided to drive to the hospital for help.
She put her clothes back on and began to drive, quivering with each thrust of the dildo. After one intense orgasm she swerved all over the road. A policeman ,seeing this, pulled her over, and asked her if she had had something to drink.
She replied that she had a voodoo penis stuck in her crotch and it would not stop screwing her. The policeman smiled and in an arrogant tone of voice said, "Voodoo Penis, My ASS!"

All the pushing and stuff reminds me of this :

A certain married couple had a very healthy sex life. They had sex everyday; in the shower, on the kitchen counter, everywhere imaginable. In fact the wife was somewhat of a nymphomaniac.
One day the husband announced that he would be going on a week-long business trip. Deciding that she couldn't go the week without sex she decided to visit a sex shop after she dropped him off at the airport. She was looking at the selections of dildo's and could not find what she was looking for. She asked the man at the counter if he had anything really special. The man hesistated, looked around the shop, and took a deep breath, "I really shouldn't be showing you this, but you look like a very special lady." He took an old looking wooden box out from under the counter and removed the lid. As the woman looked inside she announced that it was just like any other in the store. The man said, "Ah, but you see, it most certainly is not! It is the voodoo penis and all you have to do is say "voodoo penis" and then where ever you want it to go." The man decided to demonstrate the powers of the "voodoo penis". He commanded, "VOODOO PENIS, THE DOOR!" The dildo rose from the box and began its work on the door. The door began to buckle and sway. Splinters of wood flew around the room. The man yelled, "Voodoo Penis, return to the box!" The woman was so impressed with it she bought it right away and took it straight home.
The woman, excited to try it, undressed and commanded, "Voodoo Penis my crotch!" The penis went straight to pumping. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she decided that it was enough, only she had forgotten how to return it to the box. After tugging for what seemed like hours, she decided to drive to the hospital for help.
She put her clothes back on and began to drive, quivering with each thrust of the dildo. After one intense orgasm she swerved all over the road. A policeman ,seeing this, pulled her over, and asked her if she had had something to drink.
She replied that she had a voodoo penis stuck in her crotch and it would not stop screwing her. The policeman smiled and in an arrogant tone of voice said, "Voodoo Penis, My ASS!"