100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
You will love this one: Two drunks are sitting at the bar. A dog walks in the bar, lays down and starts licking it`s nuts. The one drunk looks at the other drunk and says. Gee, I wish I could do that. The other drunk looks at him and says, Don`t ya think ya outta ask him first.  counts as one laugh for this particular joke. You need two others to laugh to get your $1000!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi ya all, Sargeant Sally here, give me a cold one and a double shot, I'm on a mission today Ive got to try and say some things that are suppose to be difficult, very difficult and downright impossible to say when I get Drunk
(Joke) Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon Things That Are Very Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Specificity "Cogito ergo sum." British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder loquacious transubstantiate Things That Are Downright Impossible to Say When You're Drunk: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me! Sorry, but you're not really my type. Good evening, Officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight. Oh, I just couldn't-no one wants to hear me sing! ((((snort))))) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Calli comes back to the bar, "Ahhh, II Cool..You gotta ID...You look a little young to be in here. Have to keep the cops from fining us." She smiles hoping he doesnt take offense
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Damnnnnnnnnnn. I love a woman in uniform.
Calli set Sarge Sally up with a stiff drink  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi ya all, Sargeant Sally here, give me a cold one and a double shot, I'm on a mission today Ive got to try and say some things that are suppose to be difficult, very difficult and downright impossible to say when I get Drunk (Joke) Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon Things That Are Very Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Specificity "Cogito ergo sum." British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder loquacious transubstantiate Things That Are Downright Impossible to Say When You're Drunk: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me! Sorry, but you're not really my type. Good evening, Officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight. Oh, I just couldn't-no one wants to hear me sing! ((((snort))))) counts as one laugh. You need two others to laugh with you then you get $1000. Add $500 to your character sheet for snorting your flaw!lol |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Camo Ken`s cell phone rings.
Gotta go for now, will return later. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You should hear what happened to my friend Bob- poor guy, he is gutted. said Blue, narrating the following story: One day, Billy's dog Buddy died. He went to his father and said, Dad, why are Buddy's legs like that in the air? His dad replied, "It is so the angels can take him to heaven easier." Well, one day after work, Billy runs to his Dad and says, "Daddy, something happened!" The Dad thinking there had been an accident says, "What is the matter?" Billy replies, "Mommy was laying on the floor with her legs in the air like Buddy yelling 'Jesus, I'm cuming for u" and if it weren't for the neighbor holding her down on the floor, she would have left us!'" ((((snort))))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi ya all, Sargeant Sally here, give me a cold one and a double shot, I'm on a mission today Ive got to try and say some things that are suppose to be difficult, very difficult and downright impossible to say when I get Drunk (Joke) Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon Things That Are Very Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Specificity "Cogito ergo sum." British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder loquacious transubstantiate Things That Are Downright Impossible to Say When You're Drunk: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me! Sorry, but you're not really my type. Good evening, Officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight. Oh, I just couldn't-no one wants to hear me sing! ((((snort))))) "Hey there, Miss Sally, Im Calli and Im your server today" she looks at the boys as they eye her up and down. "Here Ya go, A brewski and a double shot of whiskey" slides it up to her. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi ya all, Sargeant Sally here, give me a cold one and a double shot, I'm on a mission today Ive got to try and say some things that are suppose to be difficult, very difficult and downright impossible to say when I get Drunk (Joke) Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon Things That Are Very Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Specificity "Cogito ergo sum." British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder loquacious transubstantiate Things That Are Downright Impossible to Say When You're Drunk: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me! Sorry, but you're not really my type. Good evening, Officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight. Oh, I just couldn't-no one wants to hear me sing! ((((snort))))) "Cant wait to see you in action, Sally" she hopes this one doesnt have to be taken on a stretcher. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Camo Ken`s cell phone rings. Gotta go for now, will return later. "You come back now, ya hear, Blue" she starts to think about his exciting little threats, "mmmmmmmmmm" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You should hear what happened to my friend Bob- poor guy, he is gutted. said Blue, narrating the following story: One day, Billy's dog Buddy died. He went to his father and said, Dad, why are Buddy's legs like that in the air? His dad replied, "It is so the angels can take him to heaven easier." Well, one day after work, Billy runs to his Dad and says, "Daddy, something happened!" The Dad thinking there had been an accident says, "What is the matter?" Billy replies, "Mommy was laying on the floor with her legs in the air like Buddy yelling 'Jesus, I'm cuming for u" and if it weren't for the neighbor holding her down on the floor, she would have left us!'" Add $1000 dollars to your character sheet! Three people laughed at your joke! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
G` Morning Curious Calli. My name is Camo Ken. I would like you to pour me a stiff hard drink . Oh by the way,do you like jokes? Little Johnny told me this joke. June Cleaver says to Ward Cleaver in the morning. " Ward, weren`t you a little hard on the beaver last night"? Ward replies " Well June, I guess I was hard on the beaver last night". June says " Ward we still have a few minutes before Wally and the Beaver get up". Ward replies " Oh June, I love it when you talk dirty to me you nasty azzed gurl. June replies " Ward,, glub glub". I love it when you want me to play sword swallower". Wally and beaver walk in on them. Beaver looks at Wally and says. Wow Wally, mom beats my azz for sucking my thumb. ((((snort)))) thanks for the drink Camo Ken |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Leisure Johnny puts in a 8 track of mixed 70s music. Although it is 2008 he is stuck to the funky music and begins to swing his hips around in his white 70's suit. "Nice music, Johnny, but dont ya think you should have a variety, I love that stuff, but we do have the jukebox." She grabs his arm on the dance floor...whispers, "do you want to scare people away" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<<<walks in, leaving a cloud of b/o in her wake........walks up to the bar and orders a budwieser select............wearin a gray shirt with the alarming pit stains......
Hot out ain't it? Anyway, check out what I heard the other day..... A preacher has this parrot that's always going to the hen house across the yard to get some action.....Preacher caught the bird and told him, "If I catch you in that hen house, I'm gonna pluck all the feathers off the top of your head and bring you into the church as an example!" The parrot didn't pay him any mind and a couple of days later was caught in the hen house having his way with the hens again.....The preacher had no choice but follow through the threat....... So the following Sunday, the parrot, bald as can be stands on the pulpit.....looks out towards the congregation and says: "Ladies on the left, gents on the right, and all you bald headed chicken f***ers UP FRONT WITH ME!" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
G` Morning Curious Calli. My name is Camo Ken. I would like you to pour me a stiff hard drink . Oh by the way,do you like jokes? Little Johnny told me this joke. June Cleaver says to Ward Cleaver in the morning. " Ward, weren`t you a little hard on the beaver last night"? Ward replies " Well June, I guess I was hard on the beaver last night". June says " Ward we still have a few minutes before Wally and the Beaver get up". Ward replies " Oh June, I love it when you talk dirty to me you nasty azzed gurl. June replies " Ward,, glub glub". I love it when you want me to play sword swallower". Wally and beaver walk in on them. Beaver looks at Wally and says. Wow Wally, mom beats my azz for sucking my thumb. ((((snort)))) thanks for the drink Camo Ken Calli walks back to the bar, "So Sargent Sally, What brings you to town, darlin?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi ya all, Sargeant Sally here, give me a cold one and a double shot, I'm on a mission today Ive got to try and say some things that are suppose to be difficult, very difficult and downright impossible to say when I get Drunk (Joke) Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon Things That Are Very Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Specificity "Cogito ergo sum." British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder loquacious transubstantiate Things That Are Downright Impossible to Say When You're Drunk: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me! Sorry, but you're not really my type. Good evening, Officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight. Oh, I just couldn't-no one wants to hear me sing! ((((snort))))) "A funny sexy woman in uniform...grrrr" muttered Big balls, making a little claw scratch sighn with his hand. "Now where can I get some roses?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
smiless
on
Wed 06/04/08 09:46 AM
|
|
<<<walks in, leaving a cloud of b/o in her wake........walks up to the bar and orders a budwieser select............wearin a gray shirt with the alarming pit stains...... Hot out ain't it? Anyway, check out what I heard the other day..... A preacher has this parrot that's always going to the hen house across the yard to get some action.....Preacher caught the bird and told him, "If I catch you in that hen house, I'm gonna pluck all the feathers off the top of your head and bring you into the church as an example!" The parrot didn't pay him any mind and a couple of days later was caught in the hen house having his way with the hens again.....The preacher had no choice but follow through the threat....... So the following Sunday, the parrot, bald as can be stands on the pulpit.....looks out towards the congregation and says: "Ladies on the left, gents on the right, and all you bald headed chicken f***ers UP FRONT WITH ME!" Amberdee - two laughed! You need one more to get $1000
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<<<walks in, leaving a cloud of b/o in her wake........walks up to the bar and orders a budwieser select............wearin a gray shirt with the alarming pit stains...... Hot out ain't it? Anyway, check out what I heard the other day..... A preacher has this parrot that's always going to the hen house across the yard to get some action.....Preacher caught the bird and told him, "If I catch you in that hen house, I'm gonna pluck all the feathers off the top of your head and bring you into the church as an example!" The parrot didn't pay him any mind and a couple of days later was caught in the hen house having his way with the hens again.....The preacher had no choice but follow through the threat....... So the following Sunday, the parrot, bald as can be stands on the pulpit.....looks out towards the congregation and says: "Ladies on the left, gents on the right, and all you bald headed chicken f***ers UP FRONT WITH ME!" Oh yeah, name's Elvira, Nerdy.......Elvira |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
G` Morning Curious Calli. My name is Camo Ken. I would like you to pour me a stiff hard drink . Oh by the way,do you like jokes? Little Johnny told me this joke. June Cleaver says to Ward Cleaver in the morning. " Ward, weren`t you a little hard on the beaver last night"? Ward replies " Well June, I guess I was hard on the beaver last night". June says " Ward we still have a few minutes before Wally and the Beaver get up". Ward replies " Oh June, I love it when you talk dirty to me you nasty azzed gurl. June replies " Ward,, glub glub". I love it when you want me to play sword swallower". Wally and beaver walk in on them. Beaver looks at Wally and says. Wow Wally, mom beats my azz for sucking my thumb. ((((snort)))) thanks for the drink Camo Ken Marleana - add $1000 dollars to the character sheet. Three laughed at it. Good job! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<<<walks in, leaving a cloud of b/o in her wake........walks up to the bar and orders a budwieser select............wearin a gray shirt with the alarming pit stains...... Hot out ain't it? Anyway, check out what I heard the other day..... A preacher has this parrot that's always going to the hen house across the yard to get some action.....Preacher caught the bird and told him, "If I catch you in that hen house, I'm gonna pluck all the feathers off the top of your head and bring you into the church as an example!" The parrot didn't pay him any mind and a couple of days later was caught in the hen house having his way with the hens again.....The preacher had no choice but follow through the threat....... So the following Sunday, the parrot, bald as can be stands on the pulpit.....looks out towards the congregation and says: "Ladies on the left, gents on the right, and all you bald headed chicken f***ers UP FRONT WITH ME!" Calli starts to choke behind the bar, "All the comics in here, this is going to be one hell of a grand opening. I can see it now. All the guys are standing at the front of the church." she bends over and laughs her butt off. "Im Calli,,,what would you like my dear" |
|
|
|
|
