Wow, a couple of new women come in here and Sage is all over them. Good thing Carol warned them.

Penny and deepheart, come over here, I'm the mature one.

no one else to take out the trash

After I looked up the word intimacy to make sure I remembered what it meant..ahem..lmao..I agree with wwrange.

hey all - hopefully tomorrow night I'll get a chance to talk - I have been up since 4, amd exhausted and still have work to do. Hope you all are doing well.

Agreed, and I want to add one more dimension of respect, if you don't mind. This seems the appropriate place to add this comment.

Looking back over the past, I can honestly say that whenever a relationship was in the process of ending, a breakdown of respect was a huge component of bringing the tension that had been bubbling under the surface to a blister. If you don't respect the integrity of the other person, you can never get beyond even the surface, stylistic differences, never mind philosophical differences or differences in core values.

I can't date guys who are not an intellectual match for this reason; either I eventually lose respect for them because I am continually frustrated by the dumb things they do, or they become frustrated with me because they can't meet me on my level. It inevitably turns into a challenge: the dumb guy / crazy girl dichotomy, which I would hope we all know by now, is usually just a false dilemma.

Being a fairly highly educated woman is no easy thing these days. It's easy to date if all you want in life are presents and the occasional compliment. If all you care about is physical attraction and you're satisfied with that alone, then sure, it's going to be pretty easy for a month or so at a time. But if you're smart enough to recognize that isn't really enough to support an enduring relationship, then this kind of front-loaded approach to dating takes a lot of work in the initial stages. It's easier to assume, to walk away, than it is to really get to know someone else.

The challenges, the difficulties-- those are the moments in any relationship that really answer questions of integrity and illuminate who a person is; but hey, who wants to stick around to get answers when you can just jump to the next person in line and start the cycle all over again? It just wouldn't happen this way in the real world. It's just not the same as getting to know someone you met through a mutual friend-- because at least in that situation there is some underlying baseline of common values-- the friend. The whole thing just seems to be so contrived, shallow, and artificial.

Unless two people are truly committed to acknowledging and tackling the challenges imposed upon a relationship by the situation-- by the mechanism-- then really and truly this does not work. Inherent in the operational nature of online dating are serious obstacles that can and will interfere with the establishment of respect if you fail to recognize them, or, if you let them go unaddressed.

Theory ?? for a computer course. Do they expect you to work out something from what you have been taught to date?

No you did not, but some others became very hateful. We ALL understand that this election is historic, especially those of us who grew up during the Civil Rights struggle. I have no problem with that.

I teach urban school children and also know how much farther we have to go, how much of Martin Luther King's dream has been realized, and how much has been forgotten by the current generation. My whole lesson for my music classes on Friday was on Martin Luther King, protest music, and the fact that they will have many presidents in their lifetime and it is up to them to make responsible informed choices.

Again, this piece was not about President-Elect Obama. It was about the man who is still President until tomorrow when we have the American miracle of a peaceful transition of power.

that's the way it is here. If you don't parrot their party line they will atack you and your posts

Have fun bashing guys. I really did not put this up as a persuasion piece or as a debate. Simply as a thank you note. I'm sorry you cannot accept it as such and feel you have to denigrate my views.

best of luck to you

~ Respect and regard for our bodies, keeping them clean and wholesome as well as healthy. And keeping access to them a private thing, in person, with only someone we love.