after becoming wife ...will she any longer take dictation? rather she will be a dictator...i believe !

Height of misunderstanding:
A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before..!!

What is Old Age?
Best Ans ever:
When you start turning off lights for economical reasons rather than romantic reasons.

do not want to discuss on this particular issue as it always gives me a remind to some of scars left in my heart from my past.....offff let it go !

Nothing gonna change my love for you...........
oh what a wonderful song....how many of you love to listen this song?

yes let it go ...even if....!!

no it wasn't from the def leopard song

i have shared my views and i should not expect that every one else should agree to me ....right?

When somebody told me that he has failed in his exams, my question is,

*"Is it a law that you will pass every time?"*

When someone told me that my boyfriend broke up with me, my question is,

*"Is it a rule that you will have successful relationships everywhere?"*

When somebody asked me why am I in depression, my question is,

*"Is it compulsory to have confidence all the time?"*

When someone cried to me about his huge business loss due to his wrong decision, my question is,

*"Is it possible that you take all right decisions?"*

The fact is our expectation that life has to be perfect/permanent is the biggest reason of our unhappiness.

One has to understand the law of impermanence of nature.

So *stop taking your failures and bad part of your life soooo personally or intensely,* even God does not like to give you pain but its the cycle through which you have to pass. Prepare yourself for one more fight after each fall because even failures cannot be permanent

*Your breath comes to go.*
*Your thoughts come to go.*
*Your words come to go.*
*Your actions come to go.*
*Your feelings come to go.*
*Your illnesses come to go.*
*Your phases come to go.*
*Your seasons come to go.*
*You have come to go.*

Then why do you hold on to your guilt, anger, unforgiveness, hatred
so so so tightly,
when it too has come to go...

Let it go ..

Teacher to 5 Year old kid: Whats ur Mommy's name?
5 yr old kid: Mommy's last name must be "Darling" because that's what daddy calls her..
Teacher: That's so SWEET. What's her first name then?
Son.: I think its 'Sorry'...

A handsome Saudi was
sitting in a restaurant at
the corner seat. He asked a waiter to take the most expensive bottle of Wine to a very attractive woman sitting alone at a table in the other corner.

Waiter brought in the elitist wine bottle & took the bottle to the woman and said,
"Excuse me mam, this precious bottle is from that gentleman who is seated
over there."and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the bottle coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by note.
The waiter, who was staying
nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:
'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a BMW in your garage, a house in Spain, a million dollars in the bank
and 7 inches in your pants.'

After reading the note, the Saudi decided to compose one of his own in
return.

He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:
"Just to let you know, things aren't always what they appear or rather what you want them to be.

I have a Ferrari Enzo, a Range Rover, a Mercedes SLS and a Porsche Panamera in my several garages;

I have beautiful houses in Saudi, Hawaii, Dubai and Morocco and a 10,000 acre estate in England.

There is over 30 million dollars my bank account and portfolio.

But...

.
.
even for a woman as beautiful as you are, I am not going to cut off three
inches. Just send the bottle back please.

This is a great puzzle. If you haven't tried it, please put some effort first before reading this solution. Had your go and couldn't figure it out? Look down at you own risk of spoiling the fun.

Let's start with a hint:

The queen's announcement was the tipping point. Let us consider that there was only one couple in the village. Then, when the queen announces that someone has been unfaithful, the wife immediately realizes that it must be her husband as there is only one couple, she kills him the very same day. Poor guy.

Still couldn't figure it out?

Now let's say there are two couples. When the queen makes the announcement, both the wives know that the other husband has been unfaithful, but don't know if their own has been or not. Now here starts the fun.

If only one out of two husbands is cheating.
Then, one wife will know that the other is faithful, so there is only one cheating man! The lying cheating scumbag that is his husband! So she must kill him the very same day.

But we know that every man cheats on his wife
That means, both wives will know that the other's husband cheats, but, if only one husband is cheating, there has to be one murder on the very first day. When there are no murders on the first day, it leaves only one conclusion in the minds of both wives after one night and nobody is killed, since, there is at least one cheating man(according to the queen), and there is not only one cheating man, there must be two cheating men. So, both wives kill their husbands on the second day!

Now can you find the answer for 3 men?

Yes, that is right, after the second day, both wives figure that if there are two cheating men, then same as before, their wives will kill them on the second night. Since no murders happen on the second day, there must be three cheating men, and hence, all men must die on the third day.

A businessman met a beautiful girl & agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing,
& before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his Secretary write a check & mail it to her, calling the payment, 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had
done, realizing that the whole event had not been
worth the price. So he had his Secretary send a check for $250 & enclosed the following typed note:
'Dear Madam,
Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your
apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
#1 - It had never been occupied.
#2 - There was plenty of heat; & ...
#3 - It was small enough to make me feel cozy & at home.
However, I found out that:
#1 - It had been previously occupied.
#2 - There wasn't any heat & ...
#3 - It was entirely too large.'
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:
'Dear Sir,
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of
regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
So...please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady.'

Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs.

That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot.

But, have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he'd be cute and named his dog Sex?

It goes like this:

"One day Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight? I told him I was looking for Sex.

My case comes up next Tuesday."

"But, that ain't the worst part. One day, I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex.
The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex.
He said, 'I'd like to have one, too.'
Then, I said, 'You don't understand. She's a dog.'
He said he didn't care how she looked.
When I told him I'd had Sex since I was 5, he said, “You must have been an early bloomer."

"When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I'd have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn't want to hear about my personal life."

"After my wife and I were married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex.
She said. 'Every room in the hotel was for sex.'
I said, 'You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.'
The clerk said, 'Me, too.' "

"When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “ Me. too."

"Now that I've been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I'm in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was. I said 'Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and I'm so lonely,' I told him.

He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Get yourself a dog."

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become familiar with the new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick in my stomach." The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the waste bin. That was what probably was making her sick."

The younger doctor said "Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much for the Church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?"

"I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the Vicar (Deputy of the Bishop) under the bed."

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them & hides in the bedroom-closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home.

She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy & the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside & have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball & my glove."
The father asks, "How much did u sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that,.. that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take u to church & make u confess."

They go to the church & the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth & he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again."

There was a C.A ., who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife...
'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart.

He died soon.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there, dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket.

The obdient wife said,
'Wait just a moment!' She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
Then her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied,
'Listen, I'm a wife; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him.'
'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
I sure did, 'said the loyal wife.' I got all the money together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... I put the cheque in the casket. Now it is up to him to encash the cheque.'
"If he can cash it, then he can spend it.!

Pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off........

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.

The weather is....."

Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers:

"Oh my God. OMG! OMG! This is going to hurt....Its burning"

A ghostly Silence reigned!

He gets back on the microphone talking to the passengers:

"I sincerely apologise for the incident but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap...you should see my pants from the front"

One passenger replies -

"Why don't you come here and see Our PANTS FROM BEHIND"!

A Bar Opened Opposite a Church!!!

The Church Prayed Daily against the bar business.

Days later the bar was struck by lightning & caught fire which destroyed it.

Bar Owner Sued the Church Authorities for the cause of its destruction, as it was an action because of their Prayer.

The Church Denied all Responsibility!!!

So, the judge commented,

"It's Difficult to Decide the Case because here we have a Bar Owner Who Believes in the Power of Prayer & an Entire Church that Doesn't Believe in it"

A man was driving a car ...A fat lady on a scooty overtook him !!Man shouted : "Hey Buffalo"Lady turned back and shouted : "You donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"Suddenly she had an accident She was hit by a buffalo crossing the road MORAL : "Ladies never understand what a Man wants to say"...