Lol

next is:rudoo

very much right

now next is:sislb

perfect

Arrange this mixed word

L G E I F S N E

Clue:
if U love or like someone, U'll get it easily !

A stripper went topless straight to a church from her strip club. The priest told her she couldn't enter dressed like that.
She said, "But, Father, I have a divine right!"
The priest said, "My dear, you even have a divine left, but you simply cannot enter the church topless!"

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and chatting among friends.

Suddenly, in a flash of light, Satan appeared in front of the congregation!

Everyone started screaming and running for the exits, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly cowboy who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The old cowboy replied, 'Yep, sure do.

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the cowboy.

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

'Nope,' said the old cowboy.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'

The old cowboy calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years

A Russian, visiting India, went for an Eye check-up.
The Doctor shows him the letters on the board :
*CZWXNQSTAZKY*
Doctor : Can you read this ?
Russian : Read ?? I even know the guy..., he's my cousin !

One big ship suddenly falls in danger in mid sea and sea water entered in to the ship. Everybody was running fast here and there.

A young couple have seen that one very old lady is also running but she has picked up her skirt upto her heap.



So they told the old lady “Granny, why did you lift up your skirt, pls put it down.”

The old lady told “Oh no no, my 85 years old body people can see no problem but my costly skirt I can not let it be destroyed

I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.

Turns out, There's an app for that.

It's called "Mom Are You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.

If you like her, you ignore it.

If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"

It works every time.

So I knocked on the girl's door. Turns out I needn't have worried.

She was gorgeous!

I couldn't get over how attractive she was!!

Just as I was about to speak to her, her phone rang!!!

She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?" !!!!!!!!!!

Tommy discovered his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy's wife and told her about it.

"I know what we will do", she said, "Let's take revenge on him."

So together they went to a motel and had revenge.

After 10 minutes, she said, "Let's have more revenge," and they took revenge again.

After 5 times, Tommy was lying spent, and she said, "Let's take revenge again."

Tommy said, "Let's forgive them..... I have no more HARD feelings left !!"

very nice and straight to the point.

preferably in Canada

A circus owner runs an ad for a 'lion tamer wanted' and
two people showed up......
One is a golfer in his sixties called Johnny and the other is a
drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her
mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, I'm not going to sugar coat it.
This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two
had better be good or you're history."
Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun ......
Who wants to try out first?"
The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first."
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps
right into the cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and
begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous
brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect
naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly
crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He
continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several
minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor! He says
"That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"
He then turns to Johnny and asks,
"Can you top that?"
The old golfer replies, "Possibly...but you've got to get that lion out of there first."

good ones...made me laugh

A guy walks up to the "Visa on arrival" counter at the Bangkok International Airport. Presents two Indian passports with 2000 baht cash and says, "Two visas. For me and my wife. Here are the passports and cash".
The officer at the counter says, "Extra 2000 bahts please". The man asks him' "Why extra?" Says the officer, "We charge corkage for bringing own wife to Thailand."

blue and green

right susan