Actually, I despise nuns for being abusive, I can't stand priests for being phoney, and my religious beliefs are only partly of Christian traditions. I have my own ideas about things. ;)

Perhaps I have put the wrong message across...
I'm not looking for fantasies in life! I am just looking for compassion and decency. Perhaps it is true, and this planet has become void of humanity.
My comparison to Jesus was a joke. If you do not appreciate someone's sense of humor there are far better ways than lowering yourself by mockery.
Notice the difference in me and most guys: I did not make a list of women who I thought would be "good in the sack" like most shallow men do! I went by the soul, as I saw it. I do the same with people I meet in real life. I give everyone a chance, but here I seem to have wasted my time.
If I'm "bummed" it is from being hurt, abused, and treated like dirt. My expectations are only that I hope to meet someone who is caring and good. If such an expectation is too high, perhaps human beings have set their ambitions too low in this modern age of "press a button and it's all there". People aren't buttons, and if you press too hard they can get hurt. Remember that for if anyone else comes on here in the future and tries to do the right thing. I was told: "Tell us how you really feel." How can any man do that in this day and age, where a person's soul is not valued any longer. Decency, more than anything, is what people are lacking in this day and age. So much coldness, and so little attempt to understand. Women often ask men what their fantasies are... the better to learn more of the man's soul. But when a man is honest, he is mocked. Yet, when a woman speaks her mind, I am always supposed to understand? Treat others the way you want to be treated, I say. You don't have to think of me at all, nor have I ever said anyone has to agree with a word I've typed. After today, I'm done trying to reach out on this website. I can see I'm really not wanted here, and I'll move on. I have a career, a future, and destiney elsewhere.

This is no better than trying to find love in the AOL message boards... where everyone makes fun of everyone as if it *was* some kind of a greeting.

Farwell, and fuggeddabouditt! That too was a joke.

Well, how I feel in life is *very* lonely. Since I live in a very small town, perhaps smaller than Smallville, I daresay, it is hard to meet people.
Doubly so, since the town if full of old people, married people, and kids. *Very* frustrating!

Since my marriage ended years and years ago, I've not met even a single woman who I could say was better than my ex. It isn't that my ex was good, she was horrible. It's that I have a hard time meeting good women at all. Lol. They either are out to use me, or (like my ex) abuse me. What I'm after is compassion, understanding, passion, and romantic love. And that is what I have to offer as well. You'd be surprised how dead romance is to people these days. I'm something of a thing of the past, a true anachronism. In this life, I am definitely a bit out of place in that I have all this love, and all this deep spirituality, that most men don't have. As spiritual as most guys get today, is wearing a cross to the superbowl.

Me, I don't wear crosses (they are bad luck for me), but I have a lot of faith. And I hate sports!
Ironic, since in school I used to play a lot of basketball, baseball, and field hockey. I just never saw the point to them, is all. I won't kid you. I, like all men and all women, have a light side and a dark side. But I believe in always doing the right thing no matter what, being very faithful to the one I love, and giving 100% of my feelings in a relationship. I'm not perfect, no one is, but I am more so than many these days, and that in and of itself speaks volumes about me.

If someone said to me: choose Superman or Batman, to describe yourself, I'd have to go with Batman. Superman never makes mistakes, whereas Batman is fallible, like we all are. Love is more important than marriage to me, and doing right is far more important that following the letter of the law, which is sometimes wrong. That is me at a glance.
You'll never see me drunk, I don't drink, and you will never see me high, I've never done drugs. And you'll never see me sleeping my life away in an easy chair, becuse I believe in being active all the time, as much as possible. You'll never see me cheat, since I believe in being faithful, and you'll never see me looking like a slob sine I try to always look my very best. I don't have a picture of myself to show you, because all of my recent pictures were in the backyard shard for storage, and got destroyed along with my only camera when we had a storm this past summer. But if you're curious, I look like a combination of Gary Oldman from Brahm Stoker's Dracula, Gaius Balter from the new Battlestar Galactica, and Jesus. Lol. I'm slender and muscular where I need to be. I owe it all to a lot of walking over the years, since I was always too nervous to pass my driving tests. (Just the thought of accidentally hitting someone! Yeesh!) I have long dark reddish brown hair, a bead, blue eyes, I typically wear loose, comfortable clothing. I'm not a jeans and teashirt kind of guy. I've got a bit more class, but neither will you see me in a suit. I'm very casual, and I have a lighter, softer voice than a lot of guys do. I hope this helps, to picture me.
If you think I sound handsome, so be it, but I'm too humble to call myself that. I think I'm just average. Not from low self esteem, but from being humble by nature. Perhaps I'm too much like Jesus?

If you've noticed from my post, all of those I've mentioned are women who are indeed quite flawed, despite not being real. I too have flaws, and I unlike many men understand that side of human nature all too well. Perhaps I do have a lot to say in my posts, but that is because I have a very lively personality, and I like to talk a lot to make up having been introverted as a teenager because of abuse I suffered in Catholic School as a child. No one is perfect, nor has anyone led a perfect life. This post isn't about perfection, or anyone's ideal of it. It is about what a man sees when he looks at a woman. I try to see the soul first and foremost. Most guys tend to only look chest-level. The world is poorer for that.

I could say even more in my favor, but only to the right woman. Never reveal too much, I say, as it can spoil the mystery! - Farewell again. ;)

Since everyone knows (or do they?) that I am mostly posting on these boards to try and find miss right, I thought I'd share with you some of the (fictional) women that I have always thought were attractive, and why I thought so, to give some kind of an idea of what types of women I've liked. It was hard to choose which ones to post about, since there are so many I've liked over the years, but this modest list *should* suffice.
So... without any further ado, here we go...

10 Beautiful Women From T.V. and Movies...
(In no particular order)

1. Deanna Troi (Played by Marina Sirtis)
- Star Trek: The Next Generation
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Deanna Troi is a warm and compassionate woman, as well as a beautiful one. Her soul is very deep and there is a hint of spirituality to her too. Both compassion and spirituality are virtues, so she is very virtuous, and has a calming effect on people. Unlike so many women on T.V. shows, her character had a great deal of depth to her, and I found her empathy towards others refreshing. All in all, a very nice lady, and charming company! ;)
Physically-speaking -
Physically, Deanna Troi was portrayed as being a lovely, exotic woman with long, dark curly hair and a nice figure. Marina Sirtis wasn't skinny like a lot of women are in Hollywood these days, and I really liked that she had some curves. Her eyes were big, dark, and full of real, genuine love and caring. The kind of eyes that you could
drown in, which to me is a good reflection of the deep soul of this fine character's nature.

2. Number Six (Played by Tricia Helfer)
- Battlestar Galactica (The Reimagined Series)
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
For a cylon, Six is not typical. She is actually exceptional. She has a deep spirituality, but at the same time she is sensual and life-affirming, as opposed to being all faith and no play. I like that she is a bit crazy-sexy, that she'll just spontaneously give you a big, passionate kiss. I've always been unlucky enough to date some cold women, so to a lady like Six would be a dream come true. She has a lot of positive qualities.
Physically-speaking -
She looks like an angel, truly. Light blonde hair, bright and sparkling eyes. She only is missing wings, honestly! She also is not too skinny, which is refreshing since her character is in a modern show. Her choice of the color red for many of her outfits flatters her well, and she never overdoes the makeup... so she looks just right. In the show, the've shown her at her best and worst. So she is very much "human".

3. Mina Murry (Played by Winona Ryder)
- Brahm Stoker's Dracula
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Mina puts love first and marriage second, which I too believe in. She is searching for her one true love, and in the end she risks all to be with her dark prince and to help him achieve the peace he so longs for. She is not like most of the women in vampire movies. She is never once the victim! Rather, when she becomes a vampire it is by her choice as much as by Dracula's seduction. She has darkness and light to her, just as I myself do. ;)
Physically-speaking -
Her dark hair and nice figure suit well a lady of the Victorian era. She has so much love in her eyes in many scenes! I always loved all of Winona Ryder's performances, but Mina was her greatest role in my opinion. She looked truly elegant, and spoke with a *great* deal of class, but never at the expense of being herself. I liked that a lot! She is at all times both cute and sexy, which is a hard balance to portray perfect in such a film.

4. Gabrielle (Played by Renée O'Connor)
- Xena: Warrior Princess
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
She is loyal, adorable, and has a fantastic sense of humor. She likes to smile a lot, and shows her feelings well. She is never deceptive, but honest and kind-hearted. Gabrielle was a character who was strong, but at the same time feminine and so very spiritual, too. Like me, she went through a lot of religious phases in her life before lastly finding the path that was meant for her. I *can* understand that! She was so witty too! A big plus.
Physically-speaking -
She was one cute warrior-girl! She had blonde hair, bright eyes, and a very nice body. She had better fashion sense than Xena, too. I don't like leather, I much prefer lace... if you know what I mean. Gabrielle was one the most truly feminine characters on Xena, and never at the expense of being a very capable woman. She was soft, but in all the right ways. The kind of woman, I'd want at my side back in ancient times... and even in this time period, too. ;) Gabby, you are lovely!

5. Princess Leia (Played by Carrie Fisher)
- Star Wars (The Original Trilogy)
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Princess Leia did not so much appeal to me when I was younger, but as an adult, I just love her style! She isn't as cold and aloof as her mother, Amidala. She seems like the kind of woman who would be lot of fun to be with. She even says "I love you!" first, which a lot of women won't do in a relationship. Leia was oft even the one to rescue Luke and Han when they were in many jams! She was brave, and kind. My kind of princess! :D
Physically-speaking -
Leia always looked like a true princess, wearing beautiful and feminine clothing, but she could be very casual, too. She had beautiful brown hair, a cheerful smile, and sparkling eyes. Her two most beautiful outfits were when we first meet her in Star Wars, and when she is on Bespin in Empire Strikes Back. White and Red are colors that suit her so well, and flatter well her natural beauty, which always shows through. A very lovely woman.

6. Claudia (Played by Kirstin Dunst)
- Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire
What I find attractive about her:
Disclaimer -
First off, no I am *not* a pervert! Forget that Claudia was played by a child actress for just a moment, and realize she was portraying a child vampire with an *adult's* soul. So, in vampire-terms Claudia *was* an adult. So, that was how I saw her character. Besides: I keep thinkining of how Kirstin Dunst would look as Claudia now that she is an adult. God, that mental picture is what I call beautiful! So, on that fair note, let us proceed with evaluating what it is I see in her. Personality-wise -
Forget the times when she got angry or went a bit crazy. Everyone has odd times like those in life sometimes. What I loved about Claudia's character was her warmth, and her strong love for Louie. She really brought a lot of light and warmth into his gloomy existence, and her death in the movie was truly tragic. It was easy to fall in love with her character, like Louie did. Claudia was mature, deep, passionate, and very loving indeed.
Physically-speaking -
Now, never mind that she was a child at the time! Kirstin Dunst, as Claudia, was a radiant "woman". Her golden, curly hair would look perfect on her today... now that she is all grown up! And though she dressed "like a doll", as she herself said in one scene in the movie, her eyes showed maturity, understanding and a lot of depth. I got the sense Claudia was a hopeless romantic, and I loved that aspect of her so much! A romantic soul *is* rare.
Besides... picture the now grown-up and gorgeous Kirstin Dunst dessed like a doll, and tell me it isn't just a bit sexy in a slightly weird way! ;)

7. Galadriel (Played by Cate Blanchett)
- Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Galadriel was, to me, far more easy to understand than Arwen's cold and "vulcan-like" performance. Galadriel showed she had a light side and a dark side. She was kind, caring, compassionate, and even wise. But she could be tempted by the dark side, and that made her more human than *most* elves are portrayed as being. If I had to have her or Arwen fall in love with me, I would want Galadriel to be the one. Truly. More of my type.
Physically-speaking -
What a goddess! Long, flowing, golden hair... and eyes all sparkling with light. She wore beautiful and diaphanous gowns, and had a slender but not skinny build that did indeed convince me she was an elven queen of the most noble blood. I cried when she went over the sea at the end. I felt a light was going out in the world, and it was the poorer for her passing. She moved my heart, far more than Arwen could, in a very moving movie.

8. Lady Jessica Atreides (Played by Saskia Reeves) - Sci-Fi Channel's Dune Miniseries
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Lady Jesseica was loving, caring and very truly devoted to her beloved Duke Leto. They had never married, but reamained together their whole lives until Leto's death, and even after his death she remained faithful to him, even still. That *is* the kind of love I am looking for, in a nutshell, and it defines, for me, what a good woman truly is. :) On top of all that, she was spiritual, brave, feminine and intelligent. She had it all.
Physically-speaking -
What a classy, beautiful woman! I was reminded of the grand performances of the hollywood greats of days gone by. She had lovely eyes, and short hair worn in a very feminine style that I don't see too often when women have short hair. She dressed very conservatively, but it was her beauty that captivated me. Of all the actresses ever to play Lady Jessica over the years, Saksia Reeves was the best! She did fit the part absolutely perfect.

9. Marion Ravenwood (Played by Karen Allen)
- The Indiana Jones Movies
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Marion was the only one of the "Indiana Jones Ladies" who didn't either annoy me or come off as being nasty. She had class, and was really smart when compared to Willie Scott, who was a complete airhead. She also knew how to dress, and in most respects was more like a real woman than a movie character. She had that "down-to-earth" quality that made her very much the "girl next door"; I liked that idea, especially in an action movie.
Physically-speaking -
This dame is a knockout, as they said back in those days! Dark hair, a pretty face, and a warm smile. She was slender, but she had curves in all the right places. And I believe I already have mentioned that she knew how to dress; casual, mostly, but she showed she could fancy things up for the right occasions. She reminded me of how a real-life princess Leia might be. And, like Leia, she is a *very* attractive woman, in all honesty!

10. Danielle de Barbarac (Played by Drew Barrymore) - Ever After
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
She loves life, she takes a great joy just from living, she is very romantic, and she is not only caring and compassionate but also had a funloving side that makes me smile when I think about this movie. She was the best Cinderella ever, and I would love to have been her prince charming. Not your sterotypical fairy tale princess... here, I could see a real woman with a very big heart and deep soul, unlike all the other Cinderella movies.
Physically-speaking -
Drew Barrymore is beautiful as it is, but in this role she was at her *most* lovely. I have NEVER seen her in any part to equal this one! Her hair, her eyes, her gorgeous gowns. Just thinking about it makes me want to kiss her. She was just that good of a Cinderella! She didn't have a whole lot of makeup, and she had that innocent look that is also sexy, if you know what I mean. All in all, fantastic and sweet too. Truly, very fairy tale!

5 Beautiful Women from Comic Books...
(In no particular order)

1. Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld
- By DC Comics in her own self-titled series
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Amy, which was her name in the comics, was no She-Ra! She always did the right thing, but she often showed she could sometimes make mistakes and even mess things up big time. It was the human way she resolved even her mistakes, that made me fall in love with her as a character. She had a romantic side to her too, and that set her apart from many characters of this sort. It is said DC cancelled her comic, but they *did* have to end the story.
Physically-speaking -
Amy had blonde hair, unusual lavender eyes, and wore purple attire, hence why they called her Amethyst. She had a nice build always more just enough jewelry to accentuate her look, but she didn't really care about the jewelry all that much. Which also said a lot about her character, which was the kind of woman who did not have her hand out all the time, but would accept a nice gift when offered one. A normal, typical, lady.

2. Katherine "Kitty" Pryde
- From Marvel Comics' X-Men series
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Kitty is just plain cute. There is no other word that describes this bubbly, adorable woman. I feel like I grew up with her, in a way. When she was in her teens, in the comics, I too was in my teens. When she grew up, I was grown up. She is not just a cute and pretty face, though. She can be counted on by her friends, and she had a funny sense of humor that always made me laugh when I read X-Men. A remarkable girl, and a fine woman!
Physically-speaking -
Long brown, curly hair and big brown eyes... kissable lips, and a nice figure... all of that made it easy to fall in love with Kitty Pryde. Unlike the cold, imperious Jean Grey, or the often aloof Storm, or Rogue who was just totally untouchable, Kitty Pryde was the very most normal of all the X-Women. She often dressed in pretty, feminine clothes when not done up in her many costumes, and was always very real-world to me. I still like her, a lot. ;) Perhaps I'm immature?

3. Kara Zor-El
- From D.C. Comics' Supergirl series
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
Unlike in the movie, where she was portrayed a being a bit dumb and silly, Kara in the comics was smart, witty, kind, and not at all like a big girl scout, unlike her way too serious cousin, Superman. She was a thousand times more beautiful than Wonder Woman, and million times nicer, too. When she died in the Crisis on Infinite Earths series, I cried. That issue was just that sad. DC lost a bright and shining star, in Kara Zor-El.
Physically-speaking -
Kara had long curly blonde hair, blue eyes, and when not in costume always looked lovely even in regular clothes. She had a pretty face that wasn't drawn (back then anyway) as being in any way unrealistically beautiful. And her build was slender, but never too skinny, nor too muscular. She was just right, as far as super-heroines go, and I've not seen many characters in D.C. comics that could say the same, in my honest opinion.

4. Death - From D.C. / Vertigo Comics' Sandman and Death series
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
She's quirky, she can be cute, she is even very understanding, caring, compassionate and a little tiny bit wise too. When my time comes, I hope she is good to me. Lol. ;) In all my years of reading comics, I've never seen Death portrayed with so much life! She is the kind of girl as you might see walking down the street, the kind of person you'd want to be your dearest friend. She is a good listener, and gives fairly good advice too.
Physically-speaking -
While I myself don't go in for the goth look, she is absolutely beautiful with it. If ever the goth look could complement someone's natural beauty, it does with her. Dark, curly hair that even when frizzy looks sexy. Big, dark eyes that captivate a person. And she always wears the cutest goth outfits, along with her trademark Ankh pendant and her umbrella, just in case it rains. After all, she has to look her best to meet people!

5. Karnilla
- From Marvel Comics' Thor series
What I find attractive about her:
Personality-wise -
As the queen of the Norns, Karnilla is regal and proud, but if she does love you, like she loved Balder, then she shows you another side of her personality: a warm, sensitive and passionate woman with a burning desire to be loved both by her people and by her man. She will do anything for someone she loves. It was truly sad in the old Balder miniseries, when she cried so hard upon losing both Balder and her great kingdom.
Physically-speaking -
She had long, wavy black hair, dark eyes, and a curvy figure that was the nicest I've ever seen in a comic-book character. Her face was pleasant, with just a bit of an exotic look to her that made her truly hot! I loved the way her outfits looked on her, always accentuating her splendid body without revealing anything at all. In the comics she was a living goddess... and honestly it was a *very* appropriate title to grant her.

If you've noticed, all of these fictional women have some things in common. And it is the common factors that are what I look for in finding the perfect woman for me. It is sad that today it is so hard to meet good people. I blame the average, typical "guys" that look only at the surface of a woman, but never at her soul. I look deeper, and it is sad I've never been given a real chance at true love because a lot of women, I won't say all because they wouldn't be fair, have become very disillusioned that a good man can truly exist. I am a good man and I hope I can find a good woman. It is, in all truth, my greatest hope and what keeps me going every day. Farewell for now all! :)

I often wonder why people refer to Heaven as "Up" and Hell as "Down". I've had some out of body experiences in my life, and I never felt that odd sensation of either ascending or descending. I was just, simply, someplace else. For the curious:

Hell... is more like the ancient concept of the Underworld, or Netherworld, than the newer Judeo Christian concepts of Sheol or Gehenna. In it, I saw people tormented by what evil or burndens that they brought with them from life. I also saw people enjoying themselves, and not suffering at all. Which blows the lid off of the traditional Christian conception that Hell is for torments, and only for the damned. Which it is *not* for!

You see, to the ancients, Hell was not Hell but Hades. The place where souls who cannot ascend to Heaven go. Not to be tormented, per se, but to reside either for eternity or until the time for their next incarnation draws nigh. That is, if a soul was meant to be reincarnated, which is not necessarily everyone's destiny. Although it has been mine. I've learned from my past-life errors, though, and try not to repeat the old mistakes.
But I will not speak of that here! Rather, I will mention what I know of the fates of certain of my family members who have passed on in this life...

First of all: after my mother died of diabetes, the same disease that would later claim the life of my grandfather, may they rest in peace, I had a series of dreams in which I saw her spending some time in Hell where she atoned for whatever sins she committed in life, which weren't many.
Many places where she walked sported beautiful gardens with all kinds of flowers, dotted by what looked like ancient columned ruins in meadows.
After proving herself ready, she ascended up to Heaven and joined God and His Angels. However, when my grandfather died I had a dream where he took longer to atone, because he had sinned more when he was alive. Although he was still a good man, but God sees the sins we cannot see. At any rate, his journey through Hell was darker and harsher. He lingered long in Purgatory, too, or rather the place people call that, before at last ascending to Heaven to be with my mother there.
His trip through Hell took him through caverns where gluttons were punished by being thrown into pits. The floors were covered in skulls, and a giant spider with the upper body of a woman came to feast upon the gluttons in horrible ways. At one point, my grandfather was seated at a table where he was served his favorite foods but could not eat even one of them. This was to punish him for gluttony, I was told, since in life he had overeaten quite a bit without thought of sharing the food with anyone else. So, I was surprised that the sin of gluttony is not the eating of the food, but the act of being selfish. So, in truth, it is selfishness not gluttony that leads to the punishments gluttons suffer when they go to Hell.
During my mother's time in Hell, I saw that my great-grandfather was there too. He had a very frightening punishment: being bound to a couch where two black wolves guarded him. My mother had that happen to her too, but only briefly and then she moved on from that particular part of Hell. His ghost sometimes haunts our home... where he died. My mother did not die at our home, but my grandfather did. Not that that is important to this discourse but the point is... souls in Hell can contact and watch over the living just like those in Heaven can. Which also is not what most Christians commonly believe is possible there. Also, when they were both bound, my mother and my great-grandfather who my mother was close to when he was alive, they carried on normal even happy conversations about the old days, totally and entirely oblivious to their terrible surroundings.
This showed me that if you were not evil, you would not even feel your torments in Hell should you have to suffer any at all. Thusly, the powers of Hell are merciful, strangely enough, from all that I have seen. What does this actually mean?

Well, it means going up or down isn't necessarily a bad thing, nor the most final of things. It is one stage of a journey we all must travel upon. :)
And, if Hell is not as eternal as they say, but rather transitionary, we have as much chances to achieve salvation beyond, as we do in this world. Which, to me, is a great comfort to know. - Peace!

Good quote, Etrain!

Actually, back when I went through a dark phase in my life, Aleister Crowley was quite a bit of an inspiration to me. I did not consider him to be the villain popular imagination made him out to be, but actually a misunderstood genius in the mystical arts. My grandmother had a lot of books by him that she studied before turning fully to becoming a Methodist reverend, which she went on to achieve. It is, perhaps, ironic that a soul so filled with as much darkness as light like me, would come from such a religious family. One of my uncles being a Mormon priest, too! Lol. To this day, I believe very strongly in the creed of: "Do as thou wilt, shall be the whole of the law!" Indeed, do as thou wilt, but harm no one, as the Wiccans added. "One Law, under Heaven."

For is free will not the one thing we are gifted with by Heaven? That alone proves Crowley's words to have been worth consideration for their truly spiritual and mystical value. Very deep stuff. ;)

--- For Neelima ---

~~~ In Memory of My Long-Lost Friend ~~~

Has a lifetime passed since the good old days?
I can still remember, when first you came to me,
And asked me for help with this project or that.
To me, that time in my life was golden as rays,
Of Sunlight shining upon a more innocent country.
Is this the same America I loved, so big and vast?

Long it seems, since we sat to talk, together,
And spoke of many things in the afternoon light...
At the library, surrounded by knowledge wild!
Fair, it seemed, was oft, outside, the weather,
But when it rained I often stayed near to night...
Because I cared so much for you, oh dear child!

I made our paintings not simply for your mother,
But to see your big smile, delighting in my art...
Would that I had told you how much that had meant!
For I have not seen your smile or even any other,
As cheerful as yours, since I did swift depart...
The last day I met with you, oh so heaven-sent!

So beloved is your memory in my heart, truly,
That many is the painting which bears your face...
Which I have made since we parted, all too soon.
Sometimes I get lost in a single lovely memory,
The memory of your innocent soul, full of grace...
And how drawn I felt to you, as if I might swoon.

Did I tell you that I thought you were beautiful,
That your raven hair was like a crown of splendor?
No, for when did time allow me that one pleasure!
In my memories of you, you are still so youthful.
When you comforted me, I found that a true wonder!
For compassion is rare in people, such a treasure.

When she to whom I had been wed was gone forever,
You remained, faithfully, my friend for years...
Had I not begun to fall in love you you, dear one.
Fear that I was not good enough for you, a fever,
Made me flee with haste, your side, with tears...
I wept bitterly, until I felt like a man undone.

Is that the danger, when a friend falls in love?
That I might lose you, and never see you again...
Perhaps we sometimes make our own Hell come true.
I have accepted, in sight of the gods high above,
That you too are lost to me, and that is a pain...
Which can only heal, when I have found love anew.

Yet, can I abandon fully all those years we spent?
Laughing together, in the face of harder times...
I shall keep a place for you in my heart, always.
For I can give my love to many, without a regret!
My heart is large, my feelings ring like chimes...
I shall remember you, dear heart, all of my days.

The great work you saw me writing is not complete,
Many pages have yet to turn before that can be...
Perhaps soon or perhaps a long time must yet pass.
But the man you knew has not changed, oh my sweet,
I still strive for the good, ever so zealously...
Know that I loved you; dear were you to me, lass!

- Mãĩ tumse pyār kartā hū̃

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of" - Hamlet, William Shakespeare. That man really spoke the truth! ;) There are indeed more things than we can imagine.

Since this is the Samhain season, I thought I'd share some freaky travel stories with everyone.
These are true stories about some of my travels, and those of certain members of my family. I've got twelve to tell, and more still I could tell...

Story 1: The Canadian Sasquatch
Location: The Canadian Border

When I was about four years old, my family and I went on a trip to Canada to a re-creation of a frontier town where they had rodeos and all kinds of re-enactments of the old frontier days things.
On the way there, we stopped by a hotel where we spent the night. I was playing on the swings and accidentally fell off, getting a black eye in the process. I was basically alright by the time we got to the frontier town, and we were all in good spirits. It never occured to me that what was my earlier misfortune may have been a strange omen.
Dividing the town in half was a dark old covered bridge that spanned a stream. A crowd of people were screaming that something was in the bridge, and the people who ran the frontier town said it was some kind of wild animal, and to be careful.
We decided to cross the bridge with caution, but once we started across... my mother reached out her hand and yelled that she touched something hairy. My grandmother said the same thing, and I looked up and saw an honest-to-goodness sasquatch.
It was about six feet tall, and at first I truly thought it was a tall, hairy man. Until I saw it was more like a bear than a man, and had a huge mouth full of fanged teeth... as well as wild and dark eyes. It was almost like a neandethal's face but more hairy and feral than any movie caveman. The thing made animal sounds and could not speak. The security guards arrived and told us to run as fast as we could across the bridge. We turned to look behind us as we did, and saw the beast had vanished. The security guards found no trace that anything had ever been there, even though we and so many other witnesses had seen the sasquatch. The rest of the day passed perfectly and normal.

Story 2: U.F.O. Over the Beach
Location: Hadley, Mass.

When I was fourteen years old, my mother decided it would be fun for us all to go up to a local beach and have a party. The group of us were her and her then-boyfriend George. Me and my then-girlfriend Jenina. My cousin Carey and her then-boyfriend Tim. We all went in my mother's T-Bird, and blasted AC/DC the whole way there. It rocked!
Once there, I taught Tim how to start a bonfire, whilst my mother and George went off into the woods. So it was just me, Jenina, Carey and Tim on the beach... when suddenly this huge V-shaped craft appeared over the water with bright lights flashing the length of it. None of us were drunk. In fact, I never drank in my life, nor done any drugs. Naturally, since my mother was running the party it was a clean, good time. So, you can well imagine our surprise at seeing this odd U.F.O. in this otherwise quiet place. I honestly thought it was an airplane, perhaps a Stealth fighter. But the quietest Stealth still makes noise, when it flies. This craft was silent. And just as it had appeared suddenly, it likewise vanished. In one second, it was a small sight going up higher and higher until it was gone entirely. Carey said to me: "Did you see that? It was a U.F.O.!" And she was right. It was... indeed... a classic U.F.O.
Note: The "Beach" as we called it borders the Connecticuit river, which runs through Hadley.

Story 3: The Alien and the Glasses
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

My mother, my cousin Carey, and I were all out for a walk past the big pond in Easthampton one night when I was fifteen. One year exactly since we saw the U.F.O. over the beach. My mother saw a group of white discs floating through the sky that seemed to follow us. We ignored them, and my mother discovered a pair of black sunglasses on the ground. She picked them up and put them on, thinking they were cool. Suddenly, she saw this woman walking towards her down the street. The woman had black hair, pale skin, a large mouth, and huge black eyes. The woman's shirt said:
"Baby: '91" My mother screamed, took off the glasses and gave them to Carey to put on. Carey saw the woman, but to Carey she was blonde, with a small mouth, large black eyes, and a shirt that said: "Trouble is Coming". I, however, saw no one there at all. No woman, even with the glasses on.
So, my mother dropped the glasses into an open car window and a friend of ours complained that it was his car. So, we ditched the glasses into another car and went back on our way. We started to walk up to the park past the pond, when the white discs came back. They got bigger as we had neared the park, and we could see details like lights, and windows, on the strange discs that made us realize they were U.F.O.s and strangely they beckoned us towards the park. We resisted the urge to go there and hurried home, where we told my grandmother the entire frightening tale.
Years later, around 1991, my mother got pregnant by her third husband, Tom, and gave birth to my brother. So the Alien's prophecy came true: Baby '91! Carey got in trouble with a blonde girl who wanted to beat her up over some petty issue, so for her too the Alien's message came true. My own warning was that I saw nothing. When I was sixteen, I took a walk up the park to relax and enjoy the fall colors, which in New England are unmatched. It was 5:00 in the afternoon on my watch, and it was starting to get dark. This was in October. I hit the trail leading back to the road that goes out of the park, and what should I see in the bushes nearby but someone all in white standing there with no face. The face was metal and shiny, like a mirror helmet if that makes any sense. The being spread it's arms out like Jesus on the cross and it vanished into paricles of white light. The same kind of white light as the U.F.O.s my mother had seen when we walked past the pond when I was fifteen. My warning came to pass: I would see the same Alien my mother and Carey saw, but I was not meant to see it's face.

Story 4: The New Jersey Crater
Location: Somewhere in New Jersey

When my mother was a teenager, she went swimming with my grandmother, her mother, at a pond in New Jersey that everyone avoided. Years later, they read in a U.F.O. magazine that the real reason why everyone did avoid that pond was because a U.F.O. landed there long ago, and a local legend held that the pond was truly a crater formed by a U.F.O. that crashed. It was radiation everyone feared, but miraculously neither my mother nor my grandmother had any in their system. Perhaps this is where the first Alien connection in our family began, that would over the years recur. It is, indeed, quite a mystery, and one I often think of.
My grandmother still has that magazine; real and true proof that some things are not of this world!

Story 5: My Brother and the Death Bear
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

A Native American legend tells that there is a being known as the Death Bear, that appears to an innocent as a warning when someone is destined to die. One day, my brother went for a bike ride up to the park. Yes, the same park where I saw the Alien! In the woods, he saw what seemed to be a big, black bear. Except this bear had a horrible, skull-like face and red, piercing eyes. Scared, my brother hurried home to tell us about this. Shortly after this encounter, one of my uncles died. We knew my brother had seen the Death Bear.
Thankfully... no one has seen the creature since.

Story 6: The Ghost of Cindy Lue Baxton
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

Cindy Lue Baxton was tortured and murdered long before I was born by a group of drunk men. Some of those men went to prison... whilst others got away with their foul deed. She was murdered at the park. My grandmother had, in fact, actually known Cindy... so our family had a faint, certain connection to her. I never knew her, obviously, but one day in December, I went for a walk up to the park. I was Seventeen at the time. The fog was so thick you could not see *where* you were going, and I ended up in the field where Cindy Lue Baxton had been murdered... all those years before. I suddenly saw several shadowy figures. One was a woman, and the others were men. They seemed to be all intertwined together, and the woman was screaming like a banshee over and over.
I walked right through the shadows, and relized I was witnessing shadows of an event long past. I went home and described what I saw to my mother, and my grandmother told me Cindy's story for the first time (I had never heard it previously). I had seen her ghost, which is stuck replaying the moments of her death over and over, eternally. Years later, my brother was caught in the same fog and heard Cindy's screams. I passed on her story to him, and he learned who she had been. Apparently, the paranormal runs in our family!
Note: I'm not sure about the exact spelling of Cindy's name, so forgive any inaccuracies here.

Story 7: A Real-Life Poltergeist
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

The house where I've lived most of my life, we used to visit when I was a child, before I hit five years old and we purchased it and moved in.
My great-grandfater died in that house, and it is beleived his spriit still dwells there. You can hear the basement door open in it's own at times, and both I, my mother, and my ex-wife all saw dark shapes in the basement that caused us to run up the basement stairs, terrified out of our wits.
One evening, my ex-wife and I were awakened from a sound sleep by very heavy footsteps just on the other side of our bedroom. So, we turned on the light, and went over to the source of the noise. Floating in the air was the statue of an Efreet (An Arabian Fire Djinn) that I had set solidly on a nearby shelf. I reached out my hand to take it, but before I even could, it just dropped unto the floor, gently, without breaking. After I moved it to another location, the poltergeist activity had fully stopped. In recent years, it had all become quiet and even in the basement there is nothing.
I guess some spirits just want things their way, and once they get what they want, they are happy!

Story 8: The Shadows in the Woods
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

I used to practice Druidry and Wicca at the park when I went through those particular religious phases in my life. One evening, as I was looking for a stick under the moonlight from which to make a magical wand from, I noticed that a ring of shadowy beings was standing all around me. They were human in shape, but were featureless and transparent, like shadows. A friend was with me, and we stood, transfixed, for two long hours whilst we regarded those watching us. After this span had passed, they flitted up into the trees and were gone. It turns out the park used to be sacred Nonotuk Indian tribal ground. Perhaps we saw some of their sacred spirits, or the ghosts of the Indians who were buried there in the past.

Story 9: The Devil's Hop Yard
Location: Somewhere in Connecticuit

This famous place in Connecticuit was one of the inspirations for H.P. Lovecraft's great horror story "The Dunwich horror." and the movie they based on it. My grandfather took me to see it when I was about nine years old, one the way to Mystic Aquarium and Seaport, which was a favorite travel destination for our family. We got out of the car and looked at the national park which is what the Devil's Hop Yard is. And what should I see in the distance, between two rocks, but a large, shaggy black beast with five horns and a white, skull-like face. I went to point it out to my grandfather, but by the time he looked, it had moved into the woods in the distance and vanished.
Perhaps the Devil's Hop Yard does indeed serve as a home to ancient, demonic entities from beyond. Some say certain Lovecraft tales were based on true stories exaggerated for sensational stories.
I believe there was, indeed, some truth to them!

Story 10: My Guardian Angel... The Devil?
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

All my life, I've had dreams about a tall blonde woman with glowing green eyes who serves as my guardian angel. I used to think it was Gabriel, since Gabriel is often depicted as a woman. One day, I was out for a walk up at the park. It was an odd day, to say the least. First off, I got hopelessly lost and ended up in some deep woods. There, I heard the sound of a dog right behind me, but upon turning my head I saw nothing there. The barking became howling, like a wolf, and then it was gone. A little further on, I came to a place where hundreds of ravens were perched in the branches of the trees. Suddenly, they all swarmed about me, but never touched me. Then, they returned to their perches. Something was definintely strange about these incidents, but I never imagined what was to come. Oh, if I knew!
Soon, I came to a desolate place full of sand, rocks, and not much else. Today, they converted the area to a baseball field, but when I was in my twenties, which I was at this time, it was a wasteland. There, I saw a tall woman wearing all black, dressed like an Arab woman from the Middle East. She walked towards me and asked me in the voice of a young child: "Are you lost?" I told her that I was, in fact, since I strayed far from the trails and paths I was used to. Her face was covered by a hood and a veil, so I was frightened at her reluctance to show me her face when I asked her to. "Are you ready to see my true face?"
She asked, and I replied: "What could be so bad?"
She responded: "The truth of knowing we have met before, and will meet again." Then, she took the veil off and threw back her hood. It was her, the woman from my dreams. She suddenly threw her arms about me, and I was lost in her eyes for a time. Green eyes like emeralds! Then, she became a black, wraith-like shape surrounded by a nimbus of pale, green light. She said to me: "I am not the archangel Gabriel. I am Lucifer, and I am your Guardian Angel. As long as I watch over you, you will be loved, at least by me." And then, she turned into a black raven and flew off towards Mount Tom, in the distance. I never again called Lucifer evil after that day, although I am not a Satanist or a Luciferian. I am just someone who saw a side of the Fallen Angel that was not evil. To this day, she watches over me and along with Jesus gives me strength in times of great need.

Story 11: The Faceless Horseman
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

One day, a friend and I were walking past a local cemetary on nearby College Highway. It's known to be haunted, but we didn't believe the story since it seemed only old drunks told it. So, one night, we started to walk down the tree-lined paths that run through the graveyard. The trees seemed to be forming almost a dark tunnel, the deeper into the place we walked... and we could make out shapes, indistinct shapes like formless hunched humans, near certain tombstones. Suddenly, we could hear the sound of a horse's hoofbeats. In Easthampton, which is where this graveyard is, some people do own horses and live in farms still, so it's not too strange, except that it was exactly midnight.
At once, we saw the horse and it's hooded rider, who was holding high a Civil War cavalry sabre. It looked exactly like a Black Rider from Lord of the Rings. No face, and even stranger still, it was totally see-through. Both horse and rider! It rode hard, riding past us madly, and dissipating when it neared the light of a street light. As if the light itself dispelled the frightening ghost!
We ran out of that place, and we never went back.

Story 12: Look at me!
Location: Easthampton, Mass.

The Civil War touched many places in America, as did the American Revolution. In Easthampton, more than a few people lost their lives from sickness and war in those days. In fact, the town has a memorial plaque commemorating those who died from sickness and war in those times. But the town is indeed a haunted place. The house where my great-grandfather died was built on the site of what once was a neighborhood garden. Before it was a garden, the place was Indian ground. The house itself was built by the Martins, a family who my grandmother used to know. The oldest Martin son had an obsessive interest in the Nazis, and he has a collection of memorabillia from the Second World War. However, many believed his interest was from a dark side he never showed to anyone.
My ex-wife once claimed to see the ghosts of Nazis in the basement, and my grandmother found a ouija board there when we first moved in. It had belonged to one of my aunts, who to this day says she sees ghosts. Had ghosts of dead Nazis been drawn to the house by her use of the ouija board and Martin's obsession with their cause? Perhaps, for I too saw these ghosts. They took the shape of blue-skinned bat-like imps or of human-like shadows wearing S.S. uniforms. But one thing I did not expect, was to encounter a ghost from the town's past. I fell asleep one afternoon from a hard day at work, and I woke up around 6:00 late afternoon. I went to stand up, and a woman stood over me. She was wearing a victorian dress and a frilly white blouse. She also wore a wide-brimmed hat trimmed with lace. Her face showed she was a beautiful black woman. She curled her finger in the "come here" motion, and I stood up to see what she wanted. For a minute, I looked away and she got angry. She screamed loudly: "Look at me!" and her face turned into a bleached white skull. Then, she ran out into the hallway where my ex-wife saw her. She said: "Lady, what are you doing in our house?" when the "lady" produced a red rose and vanished into a solid wall. It turns out that in the 1700's to 1800's, a *lot* of people died from war and illness, as the memorial plaque said. While the memorial only mentioned soldiers, we realized: what about the soldiers' families and loved ones? Indeed, some it seems want to be remembered. So we contacted the spirit by drawing a ouiji board on a piece of paper and using a pen as a planchette. We learned the ghost came from somewhere down south, but died in Easthampton in the days of the illness mentioned in the plaque. All she wanted, was to be remembered. We told her that we would never forget her, and she never did bother me or my family again. The odd Nazi ghosts also went away after this, so apparently the lady ghost being laid to rest also laid their spirits to rest as well. They have never returned since.

So, if you ever find yourself in Easthampton or Hadley Massachusettes, or if you ever go to New Jersey, Canada, or Connecticuit... take the time to take in the ambiance of the paranormal aspects of the land in which we live. Because, there is more to see in one's travels than just the sights!

Let us consider this for a moment:

In all the history of mankind... Man has changed and evolved over time, in beliefs if not in *the* species itself, as well as in arts, sciences, and society in general. Think of the most amazing of all Man's achievements and then consider that Man is only Mortal and not even a divinity in any way!

Now, consider that the Angels are older than Man, the Gods are older than the Angels, and what we understand as God is the oldest of all that is. We would have to be deluded to think that they too have not changed over the eternity in which they have existed. Any progress Man has made, God and the older beings he created before Man made long before. Mind-boggling, but all *very* true.

Would the laws God gave to Abaraham, Isaac, and Moses still be as absolute today if God came to Earth? No, and I'll tell you why. Because those laws were made for one specific time, place, and people: the ancient Hebrews, who were intended to inherit Canaan and make it their own. Those laws were to help them fulfill that destiny and keep them faithful to God. But the Hebrews were not the first peoples on Earth, and not the last to hear the world of God. Let us consider that the Babylonians were older, and most of the Bible's Old Testament comes from Babylonian traditions. To the Babylonians, other laws were absolute other than those the Hebrews beleived in. Yet, ironically, both shared common points and even some of the same identical religious traditions!

Now for the truly mind-expanding part: as old as the Babylonians were, the Sumerians were even older than they as a civilization! So, almost all of Biblical tradition began in Sumeria, which is the place where the Garden of Eden was. Note in the Bible how it says Eden had four rivers, and two of them were the Tigris and the Euphrates? The other two rivers are tributaries or branches of them, which to the ancients seemed like they were separate rivers. The crazy part is that the Sumerian legends tell of walled gardens in which gods kept mortals to be their servants. The laws of those gods, to those ancient servants, were absolute. But today, the commandment "Thou shalt only eat of the fruit I tell thee to." no longer applies. So the absolute laws of yesterday just go the way of the dodo tomorrow. Man's laws are just as ever-changing. Today, the old injunctions to "Hail Ceasar!" and "Worship the Emperor!" are meaningless since the Ceasars are long, long dead.

And let us travel farther back in time... before the rise of Sumeria. We see Atlantis, Lemuria, Mu and the other civilizations of pre-history. Their laws are lost to antiquity, but perhaps a glimpse of them can be seen in the traditions of Greece, Egypt, and Meso-America, three countries whose ancient peoples claimed to have either had trade with, or were descended from, the Atlanteans. In the fullness of time, they clearly had to change and adapt to survive once the old continents sank thusly becoming the ancestors of peoples who had themselves become fundamentally different. And if the Bible is to be belived... Adam and Eve were held to laws that were designed to keep them as ignorant of the world outside of Eden as possible.
When Lucifer taught them "forbidden" civilized ways, God changed his original laws for new ones that evolved and changed still further with time.
And Adam and Eve were only the first people made in Eden! Clearly, for Cain and Abel to have found wives outside of Eden, other tribes of Man had to have been made by God unbenknownst to them. The truth is, that Adam and Eve were not the first of all humanity. They were just the first Hebrews, the people who could trace their descent back to Eden in Mesopotamia. Let us go back before the rise of Earth's humans, now, and think of this:

Might we, like Adam and Eve, be blind to the fact that we aren't the only planet to host human life?
Perhaps God made Man, not just on Earth... but on other worlds in the Multiverse. Maybe Mars had a civilization that died out when the planet died, with it's own laws said to come from it's deities?
Let us just for the sake of argument say it did.
Might this be where it all began? Who can say! How did Mars get wiped out? Some say it happened when the Asteroid belt was formed, and that the craters on the moon were caused by the Asteroid Belt's formation, a fragment of which wiped out the Dinosaurs on Earth. But what was there before the Asteroid Belt formed, and how did it form? Some say it formed when a planet that was in it's exact position was destroyed, and that all of the fragments that comprise the Asteroid Belt are in reality the remnants of that doomed planet. No, we aren't talking about Krypton here, but it may have been the inspiration for Krypton in the subconscious mind of Man. And, just as Krypton had a lone survivor, perhaps the real lost planet had survivors. One legend says that this was a world where Lucifer and the Fallen Angels once ruled, and that God destroyed it to punish them, whilst accidentally destroying life on Mars and annihilating all of Dinosaur life on Earth, which made room for God to create a new race of Man in the Dinosaurs' place. I have oft heard that some Mormons believe this legend and have it as part of their teachings... although I'm not sure what exact sect follows it religiously. At any rate, in this tale it is obvious that God held certain laws as absolute and exacted some terrible wrath for those laws having been broken. But, assuming the science of this is true and a catastrophe did destroy a planet inhabited by an extraterrestrial race, resulting in the Asteroid Belt's formation, perhaps God did not have a part in it and instead it was caused by more natural forces, like in the Krypton mythos. Then, we are no longer dealing in absolutes... and it renders the legend in a new light. Instead of fallen angels, being punished for rebelling, we have aliens who are looking for a new home after their world has been destroyed. So, even in those matters where Mankind is not fully concerned, God may or may not be dealing in absolutes concerning His will that change over time. Consider that we've gone from the wrathful God of the Old Testament to the peacful God who is Jesus' benevolent Father. That represents a massive change from a God whose will is absolute to a God capable of forgiving *and* forgetting.

I say this: God made Man in His own image. That means God must, by this truth, be a lot like Man. Therefore, just as Man's law changes so does the law of God. In conclusion, let us consider that in all of this we are just talking about things from a Judeo-Christian point of view. God is also the supreme God of Hinduism, Islam, and a score of other great religions of the world to boot. So if God's laws were absolute you would not see so many different ways of worshipping Him. This, to me, is the greatest real-world evidence to back up my view of God as being as willing to change with time as any of His creations are. The sad truth is, most of the religions that claim to be following His will refuse to change in the ways where they should, yet are quick to change in ways they should not. New ideas, such as tele-evangelism are not exactly the way to go, whilst women still lack as much religious freedom as they should have. The day a woman can become a priest as well as a nun, I will say things have come far. But, it is not God that keeps this from happening. It is men who speak for God. If, for one instant, they thought about just how much Jesus *did* intend for women to be a major part in the faith (Consider Mary Magdalene, who was intended by Jesus to hold a rank as high as that of Peter, but for women!) they would reconsider their chauvanistic and controlling views. I am speaking of the Catholic Church here, not all of Christianity. My grandmother is a Methodist and an ordained Reverend, so there are progressive sects of Christianity out there. They just are not of the Catholic persuasion. My point? Never say that God's law is absolute when it is Man who does the speaking for Him. That is presumputous, when my experience with God has shown Him to be a being that embraces positive changes over time.

So, no. God's law is not absolute. It changes. If it did not, we would still be naked savages in a garden, incapable of civilization. Apparently, God relized Lucifer had some good ideas and made room in His law for some forbidden fruit to be no longer forbidden. So, if even the "Devil" can't be all bad, then God too must be different than we think of Him being. What is the difference? Humanity. And it is the very humanity of God and all His creations that proves nothing is absolute.

Truly, too much focus is placed on objects in a religion that espouses to be against idol worship.

Here is a list of the most obvious cases:

1. The Shroud of Turin (Of which we've spoken.)
2. The Holy Grail
3. The Ark of the Covenant
4. The Spear of Destiny
5. The Wood from the True Cross
6. Noah's Ark
7. Assorted body parts of Saints
8. The Weeping Virigin Mary Statue
9. The Emerald of Lucifer
10. The Crown of Thorns

And, I daresay... if they could find a fossilized Apple Core from the Garden of Eden, someone would call that a sacred relic as well and enshrine it.

Regarding these objects...

1. We've already discussed the Shroud quite a bit so we should discuss a little these other relics.

2. The Holy Grail. Ah, my goodness! Some say it is a plain cup, others say it is an ornate goblet whilst still others claim it is an annointing jar.
And then we have the bloodline theory which holds to it either being Mary Magdalene, her remains or her sarcophagus, or a bloodline involving her and Jesus having had children and descendants. All of that was covered in the DaVinci Code, and over the centuries everyone from the Knights Templar to treasure hunters & archeologists have claimed it was one of these many, many different things. And it all began a man drinking from a cup and having had a devoted woman in his life! Lol! :D

3. The Ark of the Convenant. Some claim it is in a temple in Ethiopea, whilst others say it was utterly destroyed by the Babylonians. Almost all accounts say it should not be touched, but none say why. It all began with Moses placing the ten commandment tablets into an ornate wooden chest plated with gold and crafted in an Egyptian style.
Somehow, over the centuries, this unassuming box became a terrible weapon. Many theories exist! Some say the ark was rigged to conduct electric currents... others claim it was designed so that the Cherubim on the ark functioned as lighting rods. And still other theories (the most recent) say the ark contained far more than just the Ten Commandments... but that it had also contained radioactive material, either in the form of a meteorite, or somthing of similar properties. Since by the look of it, the thing is dangerous if it does exist, perhaps it should remain a mystery? That, or call in the biohazard division when and if they do find it. Just to be safe! ;)

4. The Spear of Destiny. When the Roman centurion Longinus pierced Jesus' side with his lance to see if JC was alive, I'll bet he didn't reckon on people later claiming that whomever possessed the spear could not be defeated in battle! But during the second world war, that was exactly what the Nazis and the Thule Society believed. They also went in search of the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant. According to some historical record or another, they never found the ark, but they did find a fake Holy Grail (a green glass cup) that got destroyed during the liberation of the country of France, and they did find the Spear, the head of which they kept, thinking it would bring them victory. It goes to show how wrong it was to assume that since Hitler's disastrous war with Russia spelled the beginning of the end for the myth of the "unbeatable" Nazi war machine. ;)
Today, scholars and archeologists spend a great deal of time looking the speardhead over. While it is the real deal, it's not supernatural at all.

5. The Wood from the True Cross. The dumbest one of all these relics, primarily because it's just a lousy piece of old, rotten wood! Contantine, at the height of his reign over Constantinople, sent his mother off in search of the True Cross. She came back with a splinter of wood that they later enshrined. No one has ever examined the splinter, so honestly it could have come from any tree in any part of the world. And even it did come from the cross, log, stake, or tree that Jesus died on so what? It is still only a splinter of old wood!

6. Noah's Ark. What would there be to find? Some only planks of rotten wood that suffered from a lot of water damage and wear and tear? Honestly! And why wouldn't Noah and his family scrap it and use the wood to build new homes? They probably did exactly that, since they seemed like *very* practical people! So, Noah's Ark is a lost cause.

7. Relics of Saints. The head of this saint or the fingerbone of that saint. So much reverence for dead corpses makes a mockery of a religion whose claim is to revere life and love, not death and the dead! I cannot imagine how many must be fakes, since none of them have ever been examined by professionals. It boggles the mind completely. Go figure! The Church condemned the Celts for keeping skulls enshrined in their sacred places, but the Church does the identical same thing. If Jesus was alive today, He would say that is the behavior of hypocrites, not true believers in Him.
He would also say to love one another, and that the place of the living is with the living, not preoccupied with the dead. So much for heads and fingerbones, hmmm? Such items are morbid things!

8. The Weeping Virgin Mary Statue. Water collects on porous statues, and when the temperature is at a humid level, water in the air collects similar. Porous statues will then "sweat" the water out, thus appearing to "sweat" or "cry". This is not a miracle, yet people believe it to be. It is just science at work in nature. Natural processes work just fine on their own. If you do belive that God created the Multiverse, then you should realize that He created it in a such a way that He won't need to do everything Himself. Ask yourself... if you were God, wouldn't you want to make things as easy on yourself as possible? God did, and so all those who think God is behind every lighting bolt and every turn of the weather... they are wrong. God doesn't need to run things that run on their own, and so not every natural thing is a miracle!

9. The Emerald of Lucifer. Some say that Lucifer wore a crown with an Emerald set into it. When Lucifer fell from Heaven to Earth, the crown was lost. According to the legend, it was destroyed and only the Emerald survived. People have made all manner of claims regarding this oddity. Some say it was set into the Holy Grail, whilst others claim it was made into a lens and used by Nero to look through whilst he watched Christians suffer under his tortures. It is a historical fact that Nero had such a lens, but it has never been found to verify if it was older than recorded history or of extraterrestrial origin. I think this is a case of several myths being joined together from one ancient truth. It is likely Nero's lens was destroyed over time, and since no one has ever found a definitive Holy Grail with an emereald in it of any kind, is likely to remain only a legend.
Personally, Emerald is my favorite gemstone. Does that make me in league with Lucifer? Hmmm... ;)

10. The Crown of Thorns. It amazes me how over the centuries since Jesus' crucifixion, people have produced this thorn or that thorn and said it came from the Crown of Thorns. Like the wood from the Cross itself, this is another item that is likely a scam. Thorns grow in Jerusalem, and ancient thorns can be found abundantly I'm sure. But unless you had a thorn with JC's blood on it, (and how could you prove it was his blood? It is not exactly on file with the FBI!) you could not even begin to figure out if it was real or fake.
Another unknown that will remain an unknown. I'll also throw in mention of the Nails from the Cross as a similar item. So many Jews were crucified by Rome during Jesus' lifetime that you would never be able to prove that any one specific nail came from His cross in particular. And, let's be truly honest! If Jesus came down... let's say in a big spaceship, to please the science-minded folks... if he came down like that tomorrow, and you could test his blood with an ancient artifact, what in that case would be the point? The man in right in front of you, and you are going to worry about an old rusty nail? Now that is just plain stupid! :D

I think that covers all of them. You can see why I don't consider relics important! Jesus preached a simple message: Love. How we've gone off on all these tagents over the centuries since, is beyond me! I'm not 100% Christian, but I do agree with a lot of what Jesus had to say. Not Church dogma, and not any filtered-through-preachers stuff, but the simple message that Love is the key to Heaven.

The problem is that to many people, what He had to say has become of a secondary consideration, compared with mystical relics and otherworldly legends. What a shame, such simplicity was lost!

They're cute! They're Furry! But whoever thought they could be funny too? That's right folks! Step right up and hear these classic woodchuck jokes...

1. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Come on, do I look like I work in a zoo? Everyone knows the only animal that chucks anything is the furchuck, and they only chuck fur. Hairballs, if you must be picky! And they meow. Ok! It's a cat.
A cat masquerading as a woodchuck... just for fun.

2. Why did the woodchuck cross the road?

Because some stupid idiot built the highway too close to the forest without paying any heed to the hippies protesting nearby. Oh well... if the critter gets hit, uncle Jesse gets a free dinner.
That is, if the forst is in nearby Hazard county.

3. A woodchuck, a priest, and a rabbi went to a bar, and the woodchuck said to the priest:

"Father, I hope you can forgive me for crossing the road to get to this bar, but they just don't have decent beer in the forest. So, rabbi john, are you buying? Cuz I'm a *little* out of cash!"
The priest says: "I think I had one too many."

4. If a tree falls in a forest, does a woodchuck know about it? If they don't, did the tree fall?

If the tree fell on the woodchuck's den, he would certainly know about it, and if he didn't know it then it means he either was away or he was blind. Either way, the tree still fell. Dumb question!!!
And, an even dumber woodchuck, by the looks of it.

5. Why did the woodchuck join the Moonies?

To sell roses at the airport and give all of his hard-earned money to the cult, of course. All to be the first woodchuck to be in the Moonies! He's just sorry he missed the Hale Bop, poor critter.
Next week, it will be the Hare Krishnas. Sheesh!

6. Do woodchucks build dams like beavers do?

Ask mr. Beaver, who can usually be found in the woods of Narnia. Actually scratch that! He'll try and convert you to Aslanism like the overzealous mad Beaver that he is. And boy, can he preach!!!
I hear Aslan named him his lord high inquisitor.

7. What did mrs. woodchuck name her baby?

I'm sorry, but I don't speak woodchuck so I have no idea! However, when a universal translator is invented, you can always ask her yourself. That is, if they program it for animal-human dialogs.
"Spock, I think the woodchuck is speaking to me!"

8. Are woodchucks on the endangered species list?

I don't think so, but at the fast rate that uncle Jesse catches them and eats them, I think we'll be adding them to the list long before you can say: "Possum Pie!" I'm glad he's not my uncle!!!
No wonder he's wanted all over Hazard county! ;)

9. Can a woodchuck be trained in Karate?

That depends on whether or not Mr. Miyagi is done convincing dumb American kids to wash his car, sweep his porch, build his house, and wax on and off. "Woodchuck-san! Concentrate! Banzaaaaiiiii!"
The odd part? He could kick Kung Fu Panda's butt.

10. Would a woodchuck make a good pet?

For the love of God, don't you know wild animals can often carry rabies? Tisk, tisk! And they also like to sing "Singing in the Rain" while biting people, prior to having to undergo rehabilitation.
Haven't you ever seen "A Clockwork Woodchuck?" ;)

I saw several documentaries about the Shroud of Turin over the years. The most informative one said that the carbon dating *proved* that it came from some time during either the Dark Ages or the early Medieval period, which is WAY off for it to be the burial shroud of Jesus. The blood tests on the shroud showed that the blood was human, and that someone had to have died while in the cloth. Since Jesus would have been dead *before* he was buried, this clearly could not have belonged to Him, especially when coupled with other evidence.

The creepiest part is this: some wacko during the Dark Ages or Middle Ages *killed* someone in that cloth to create the hoaxed shroud. But, given the fact that back then they even robbed graves to get fingerbones so they could pawn them off as the fingerbone of "Insert Saint's Name Here", I do not at all find it surprising. Perhaps I'm a little mad but I can't help but chuckle whenever I see people bend down to kiss the Shroud, now that I know it is a fake. I suppose sometimes it is true that blind faith can blind people to the greater truth. It is better to question, learn, experience, and grow! That's what I say, anyway.

I love Japanese Anime! Some of my favorites are:

Fist of the North Star
Gatchaman (Battle of the Planets)
Steamboy
Spirited Away
Metropolis
Akira
Macross (Robotech)
Voltron
Mazinger Z (Tranzor Z)
Record of Lodoss War
Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
Wrath of the Ninja
Golgo 13: Queen Bee
Wicked City
Battle Arena Toshinden

For American Anime, the following are quite good:

The Animatrix
Van Helsing: The London Assignment
Fire and Ice
Heavy Metal
Heavy Metal 2000
Aeon Flux

I've seen a lot of Anime over the years, but the ones on this list spring quickest to my mind. ;)

I've read quite a bit of Manga over the years too.
Lone Wolf and Cub has to be my favorite Manga!

In answer to what differences I've seen between Wicca and Druidry, I can provide a great many...

Difference I: Religious Focus -

1. Druidry restricts it's beliefs to nature-based or celtic-based deities, as well as reincarnation.

2. Wicca allows for beliefs in any and all gods / goddesses and belief in reincarnation is not part of the religion per se, but it can be if desired.

Regarding sacrifice, neither modern day druids nor Wiccans believe in sacrifices of the sort the ancient peoples did. Today, Druids and Wiccans perform what is called bloodless sacrifice where the object being offered up is incense, sacred herbs, a sanctified object or something similar.
In modern Druidry the offering must be something that comes from natures, like a leaf or a twig, but in Wicca it can be anything inanimate. So I suppose that too is a difference between them.

My Thoughts: When I was a teenager I used to tend to go to extremes to get the attention of higher powers. The stupidest thing I ever did, was once pricking my finger to give of my very blood, and all without realizing this was not merely silly but foolish too. More often than not, it got the attention of dark, negative, demonic beings that are not desirable to draw the attention of. I had learned a valuable lesson: make peaceful offering if any offering at all. So, I concur with modern Druids and Wiccans on that. Spiritual beings can be good and evil, light and dark. I say, always know what you are dealing with beforehand. It can not be stated enough that knowledge is power. It is. However, everything has a light and dark side.

Difference II: Terminology -

1. In Druidry the terms for things are based on centuries of druidic tradition, and have a celtic phrasing to them. For instance, the Otherworld is what Druids call the afterlife, for the most part.
Much of Druidic philosophy regarding this derives more from ancient Gaul than Ireland or Scotland.

2. In Wicca, Otherworld can be used as a term but Underworld or Netherworld is just as acceptable. Sometimes Heaven, Heavens, Hell, or Hells are all terms you'll hear used in Wicca, but in Druidry it's often just Otherworld or Annwynn (Pronounced as Anuvin). So, that is another major difference.

My Thoughts: There are many realities and levels of reality in the Multiverse that are beyond our physical peceptions. Even time is infinite, so it is humbling to consider the afterlife. I believe, as I said, in reincarnation but I also believe in infinite possibilities. No two fates are the same so one must experience, and decide, for oneself.
Me, I have glimpsed some pretty heavy things. And I have NEVER drank, taken drugs, or done anything that could affect my mind. So, what I've seen I know to have been real. But, reality is honestly one part truth and one part illusion, so I always bear in mind that we can only "see" so much truth.
Even I have had moments when I saw too much. So, I say use caution when opening your inner eye. ;)

Difference III: Where Power Comes From -

1. In Druidry, power is said to derive from both the gods and from Nature but not so much from the person per se. The person more channels forces... rather than generates the forces... so to speak.

2. In Wicca, however, power can come as much from a person's willpower as from gods, nature, or all manner of outside forces. Concentration is every bit as important as invocation and supplication.

My Thoughts: Human willpower is important, but it has limitations. Sometimes, we all need some help from a higher power. It need not perhaps be "God" per se, but a god or a goddess, an angel, even a saint, can be of tremendous help in matters that are just beyond our ability to deal with. It can and does vary from person to person, however. Not everyone has the same level of willpower and / or concentration. Not everyone can establish direct connections with divine beings. That is why there are, in every religion, practitioners and plain worshippers. I've been both, in my time, and one thing I've learned is that one should never seek power. One should seek peace. True power comes with peace, wisdom, knowledge, and enlightenment.

Difference IV: Rituals and Customs -

1. Druidic Rituals, today, are mostly symbolic in nature and are designed to focus the mind towards a oneness with nature and divinity. Philosophy is perhaps the best term to describe the Druidic way.
But there is a bit more than philosophy at work.

2. Modern Wiccan Rituals also are symbolic and are designed to focus one's mind, but the focus in this case is achieve a desired result. This aspect is to the lay person best termed Magic, or Mysticism. But it is truly something far deeper.

My Thoughts: I've always thought on too high of a plane, so to speak, to content myself merely with revering nature. While I do have a great love for the natural world, and a deep reverence for it, I realize there *are* higher things that sometimes are more worth a person's time and energy to deal with. I won't say I have practiced "Magic" since it is SO archaic a word but I have bent my will to achieve specific goals in life, and to aid me in those goals I have sought divine aid. It was sometimes successful and sometimes not so much so.
Everyone pays a certain price, even Christians, when dealing with God / Goddess or any other such being. My advice is, make certain you don't seek after something you have to pay *too* dearly for.

All these bits, of course, are based upon my own personal experiences and opinions. You may find it best to formulate your own, but if you happen to find any of it useful, I am happy to have been of assistance to you in that regard. Farewell! :)

No problem. Another excellent statement is in the Book of Lamentations. Here is that, and other odd passages for folks who want to learn more about these extremely obscure parts of the Bible:

Lamentations 3:37-38 clearly states...

Who is he that can speak, and it happens, when the Lord command it not? 37
Out of the mouth of the Most High proceedeth not both evil and good? 38

Exodus 32:14...

And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people.

Amos 3:6...

6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD has not done it?

Some final thoughts on this train of thought:
It *was* God who gave Satan/Lucifer the power to torment Job, as a test of Job's faithfulness.
Add to this the fact that God created all of the fallen angels, and gave them Hell/the Underworld to rule over, and so gave them power over people, and you have a God that, while intending to do good, sometimes employs evil as an agent or force to work His will. Only He knows the reason, and it isn't for us to question that reason, but for better for worse... there you have it. ;) So, if I were to say something profound to sum up what I think about the matter, it would be: Keep on the good side of God, because you wouldn't want to be on His bad side. I don't think we'd like Him when He gets angty. Lol. Anyhow, that's enough church for today. I have to get back to work; just had to post these additions to my initial post... to help clarify some things people wondered about.

There are several chapters and verses I can and will list, in which this is stated. Obviously and not so obviously. Over the years, religions have played this aspect of God down. But here it is:

Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.


Job, Chapter 25

2 "Dominion and fear are with God; he makes peace in his high heaven. 3 Is there any number to his armies? Upon whom does his light not arise? 4 How then can man be righteous before God? How can he who is born of woman be clean? 5 Behold, even the moon is not bright and the stars are not clean in his sight; 6 how much less man, who is a maggot, and the son of man, who is a worm!"

Job, Chapter 12:

13 "With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding. 14 If he tears down, none can rebuild; if he shuts a man in, none can open. 15 If he withholds the waters, they dry up; if he sends them out, they overwhelm the land. 16 With him are strength and wisdom; the deceived and the deceiver are his. 17 He leads counselors away stripped, and judges he makes fools. 18 He looses the bonds of kings, and binds a waistcloth on their loins. 19 He leads priests away stripped, and overthrows the mighty. 20 He deprives of speech those who are trusted, and takes away the discernment of the elders. 21 He pours contempt on princes, and looses the belt of the strong. 22 He uncovers the deeps out of darkness, and brings deep darkness to light. 23 He makes nations great, and he destroys them: he enlarges nations, and leads them away. 24 He takes away understanding from the chiefs of the people of the earth, and makes them wander in a pathless waste. 25 They grope in the dark without light; and he makes them stagger like a drunken man.

Job, Chapter 4:

17 'Can mortal man be righteous before God? Can a man be pure before his Maker? 18 Even in his servants he puts no trust, and his angels he charges with error; 19 how much more those who dwell in houses of clay, whose foundation is in the dust, who are crushed before the moth. 20 Between morning and evening they are destroyed; they perish for ever without any regarding it. 21 If their tent-cord is plucked up within them, do they not die, and that without wisdom?'

So, when you take all that into consideration, God is sometimes as human in his behavior as we.

First off, I've made some posts under Music, Movies, and Religion, so if you want to get to know a *lot* about me, please give my posts a serious look. Also, see my profile for some more information about me. I regret I have no recent picture of myself to put up, since most of my recent pics were destroyed during a storm this past summer, along with the only camera in the house. However, here is a bit about me that you won't learn in either my profile or my posts...

What do I look like? A bit like Gary Oldman and a little like Gaias Baltar from the reimagined show of Battlestar Galactica. At least, since I grew my beard. Lol. Some tell me, I look like Jesus!
So, if you think Gary Oldman, Baltar, and Jesus are sexy, you'll absolutely love me. Big time! :)
I'm average built, in very good shape for my age. I am not overweight, nor am I *too* tall either.
Normal, is the best word that describes me. ;)
I am 34, by the way, as is listed in my profile.

What am I like as a person? Well, one side I do not show much online, is that I have a very silly sense of humor. Monty Python-esque, actually. So, I tend to joke a lot and sometimes act very silly.
But when I am serious, I am very serious, and all my posts thus far on this site have been serious.
To me, love is not a joking matter, and so you'll rarely hear me making silly jokes on this site.
I am very spiritual, and I absolutely adore both nature and the outdoors (aren't they one in the same, though? Ah, well!). I have a fun side, but it's good, clean fun. Playing video games, seeing a good movie, going on a hike, or long walks when the moon is out. I love the night, and I love the Autumn. Call me weird for that, I do not care! :D
I only hike in the woods during the day, though. Bears, you understand. I don't wish to get eaten.
Plus it is always best to view the fall colors in bright, technicolor sunlight. As God intended it, and as the *tiny* iscription on tree bark states.
Lol. (See? That was a sample of me being silly!)
I enjoy reading, and I am an artist who does as much work for free as pay work. I just love art, for art's sake, and I love poetry too. I write a lot in my spare time, and perhaps someday I may even write a book for publication. Who knows? In this economy, that will probably end up being my *only* means of income! Lol. I am very deep, and not a shallow person in any way. I look at the very heart and soul of a person, I never judge by all the shallow things most men see in a woman.

One thing you may notice in some of the poetry I have posted to this site, so I'll just get to it:
I admit it freely... I am lonely as all heck, and looking for love. What's wrong with that? Nothing.

What am I looking for? A woman who will love me as much as I am willing to love her, which is a *lot* indeed! I am lonely, because I haven't been with anyone in nearly seven years, now. In the small town I live in, it is hard to meet someone since there are mostly a lot of old people and a lot of kids. Hence, why I am posting here at all!
Actually, it is probably smaller than Smallville, and doesn't have cute chicks like Lois Lane, Lana Lang, or Kara Zor-El (Powergirl) to speak of. ;)

If you call it desperate to be anxious to meet someone after being lonely for so long, then fine I am desperate! But I have my standards, and here they are. All of them, are perfectly reasonable:

1. Must not drink or do drugs. I never did... so for me the perfect woman is a woman who is clean.
I am a very moral person, so please respect this!
There is *no* way I'm going to compete with some addiction for someone's affections. It isn't good.

2. Must be compassionate and understanding. I've met a lot of cold, cruel women before. Not again!
A relationship must be based on love, not discord.
Love and affection should be a part of a normal, happy and healthy relationship. Just my opinion.

3. Must have an open mind. The biggest problem I have had in the past, is that some people are so narrow-minded. The universe is too big for that!
I have rather expansive and unique beleifs, so I myself have a mind open to new possibilities. ;)

4. Must be able to drive, and willing to take the relationship offline. This is so we can meet when the time is right... not really a standard per se.
Allow me to explain something, here:
No, I can't drive. But no, I'm not a weirdo or a cripple or anything like that. I just always got *too* nervous behind the wheel to pass getting a liscense. Since I work from home, and send my art in for submission to my employer, I never had to go out to get to work, plus anywhere I wanted to go, my family or friends took me. And, living in a *very* small town, it's easy to walk to most places anyhow. Shopping online is a god-send, in that our town has lousy stores. At least this way I can order most things and have them delivered right to my door. I do love our local library, though. I am friends with everyone there, and it is a very family-oriented place to study or hang out. I used to be a mentor to a girl that went there a lot. Charming young lady. Good memories!

5. Must be normally built; not fat and for God's sake not too skinny. As I said, I am not shallow but as I also said: I do have my standards. I do not care about hair color, hair length, eye color or all that nonsense. Those things don't matter. To a certain degree... beauty is and beauty does.
While I must admit, I would find a woman who has a more feminine style of dress more attractive, I understand everyone has their own style and their own tastes, so I'm easy about it. Be you, I say! Just, be the best you that you can be, of course.

6. Must consider a loving, romantic relationship more important than marriage. I was married once before, and one thing I learned out of it is: the marriage paper isn't worth the paper it's printed on. A paper doen't say you're happy or that you want to be with someone forever. Your heart does. And so, I hope the right woman will agree with me when I say: I'd rather have a relationship that lasts forever than a marriage that's over swiftly.

7. Must be willing to put romance first, friends second. A lot of relationships get ruined because people listen to their friends and not their soul.
I say this: if you end up loving me, and I end up loving you, that is what is important. Not other peoples' opinions. Friends can be jealous... and may not always have your best interests at heart. You can have your friends, just don't let them rule what you decide is best for your happiness.

And those are the only real 'rules' I have for a relationship. Why seven? Well, there are seven Wonders of the World, seven Virtues and seven Sins, supposedly seven Heavens too. And let's not forget Seven of Nine (Hubba Hubba)! So, rather than argue with Cosmic Principle, I'll just go with that truly great and venerable number (7).

That said, I'm off to work on my latest piece of art. Black and white sketches this time, of some fantasy/sci-fi characters. So: farewell for now!

- My childhood beliefs...
I was originally Catholic, almost from birth, but one day I just locked horns with the system, when I said I thought that only Jesus ever should have the kind of authority given to the Pope. I was at that time only ten years old, and had been going to a Catholic school. After I suffered abuse at their hands, I decided they were hypocrites. Not all Catholics, just the ones who persecuted me. And why did they persecute me? Because I did not agree with one tiny part of their dogma. This led to me going to many different types of schools and even more different types of churches trying to find out where I really belonged, religiously.
- A time of confusion...
Lutheran churches, less strict Catholic churches, Jewish synogogues, you name it! On top of that, my grandmother was a Methodist Reverend, and my uncle was a Mormon Priest. Even so, I could not seem to fit in with any of these religions. All of them, to me, just seemed to have only one tiny part of something bigger that I was looking for.
- Finding the truth...
When I turned thirteen, I even tried going a bit far out with my beliefs. I read a book about the Druids, and found one thing that agreed with my own beliefs: reincarnation. Yes, I believe very much in reincarnation, even to this very day. I didn't get that from any one church nor from any book. It was something I accepted as a fact from the hour of my birth on. I had dreams and waking visions of past lives before I ever even went to school. No one at home ever talked about any kind of reincarnation, so I didn't get it from them. It was a part of who I am, and to me it was fact.
Pehaps the fact I lived before contributed to my being at college level when I was only in second grade. At any rate, because of this and a love of nature, I tried Druidry from the age of thirteen to sixteen. That was an experimental time for me, religiously, since unknowingly I also followed a subsconscious set of beliefs I would later learn are a part of Wicca, not Druidry at all. Probably from a past life. Who knows? Then, I was sixteen.
- Another conflict...
At this point in my life, my mother was going to a Baptist church and she talked me into becoming a part of it. I assisted the minister with odd jobs from raising the flag outside the church to helping organize boxes full of paperwork. We were good friends, and I started to get a crush on his daughter. But it all blew up in my face when we went on a bus trip to a church dinner. I had the task of helping some russian children adjust to life here in America, and cruelly the minister's daughter made a comment that I was a commielover as she called it. Which I certainly was not! So, I called her an ugly cow (literally) and further put my foot in my mouth when the bus driver just about killed us in a near-crash. I yelled out the bad word: "Jesus!" and he said: "Never take the Lord's name in vain." After that, the minister acted like I was possessed by the Devil, and so the next time my mother tried to take to back to that church, I jumped out of the car and walked home. I realized mainstream Christianity was not for me, in that hour. I was too "normal" for it.
I couldn't agree with them that Wiccans were all just "Devil Worshippers" since I had some very Wiccan beliefs myself. And so, it never worked!
- Losing my faith, and finding new faith...
So, until I was in my twenties, I went back to my Druid/Wiccan beliefs, which I practiced up at the local park near my house. I really felt peace in my beliefs, but then I married a woman who was an Atheist and I spent a lot of years just trying to get her to not persecute me for my beliefs. I do not care if someone believes in anything ot not. But just don't persecute me if my beliefs do not agree 100% with yours or your lack thereof! That and other reasons caused my marriage to end, and for a lot of years afterwards I myself abandoned all religion and became an Atheist. Until one day my old dreams, visions, and past-life memories returned, like when I was a child. I began to do active research about them, and I discovered not only that I had lived before, but I found out who I had been. A subject I will not speak of here. I only share that with those closest to me. At any rate, I started researching religion and found a Christian set of beliefs wherein Jesus supposedly spoke of reincarnation, and other things that I agreed with. This was a kind of Gnosticism, I was to learn, and I combined it with my earlier ways, in effect creating a hybrid belief system that was part Gnostic Christian, part Druid/Wiccan, and part many other things besides. This is what I have believed in ever since, and I have found it brings me peace, religiously. Why, you may ask?
- Why we often see religion as a burden...
Because, no matter how much we may lead ourselves to believe otherwise, human beings have an easier time fitting religions to suit their needs than they do fitting into the rules made by an already established religion. We see God/Goddess through our own eyes, and every set of eyes sees Him/Her differently. But God is universal. Male/Female as well as being Good/Evil. If we are God's creation and made in God's image, then God is as much like us as we are like Him/Her. The sin of most of the mainstream religions is denying the human side of the divine, and the divine side of being human. I think Jesus understood what I have only just now begun to understand, and if listen to his simple message of love, and Bible passages such as God saying: "All Good and all Evil, come from me." and "Let *us* make man in *our* image: male and female." then the truth becomes known to us, that God isn't one thing. God is many things, and some say everything. And, it reveals much about us...
- The human and the divine...
We are taught to belive our spirits have specific boundries. But since God's spirit is boundless... so is every human spirit, by virtue of our maker.
We are infinite beings, who can live forever. All of us must, for a time, live in flesh. Sometimes, we have to live many lifetimes to perfect what is within us, until we can join our God or gods in what lies beyond. Do I believe in Hell and do I accept the exitence of the Devil? Yes, in a way.
I believe an underworld exists where souls go to rest for a time. That time varies from soul to soul. Heaven is hard to reach, and not for just everyone. And Hell is when we suffer during our time in the underworld. The Devil is how humans view two different beings: God, and the angel or goddess who presides over the underworld. Recall the words in the Old Testament, spoken by God, not Satan: "All Good, and all Evil come from me."
The Gnostics divide God in two parts: the dark Demiurge who created the world, and the bright and unknowable spirit that is all around us. In Star Wars terms, the Force. Continuing in Star Wars terms: God is the Light Side and the Dark. But neither is either good or evil of itself. We create those terms for it, just to fathom it. So, who presides over Hell/The Underworld? Lucifer, or Satan. An archangel known by other names to the ancients, but in every myth a god or goddess of death and the punishment of the wicked. Here are some of those names: Hel (Norse), Ereshkigal (Babylonian), and Persephone (Greek). Contrary to most conventional belief, it is she who is the true ruler of the domain of the dead, not her male consort, who is called: Loki (Norse), Nergal (Babylonian), or Hades (Greek). Now if God is both male and female, then so are the angels and gods. Becuase of that, then every god is really just the male side of the corresponding goddess they are associated with. Thusly, Lucifer is both Hades and Persephone. Just as God is both God and Goddess. In religious experiences I've had, all of the beings that lie beyond this reality were either androgynes or hermaphrodites in nature. I came to realize, only human beings are separated into Male and Female. Did God do this to punish us? Ironically, no. God thought He was creating a superior race this way, above the angels and gods He made first. Hence the reason why, in the old testament and other places, He sometimes makes angels walk as men or women amongst human beings. Sometimes to humble or punish them... and other times to reward them, actually. All this is true!
So, no, I do not believe in the Devil as an evil being who wants people to do evil. I do believe in the existence of the being people think of in that way, but that they are confused about it. In various scriptures, it says that "Even The Devil serves the Lord, and wants people not to turn from God but to emrace God, and thus avoid Hell."
Lucifer doesn't want to hurt you, but he/she will do his/her job if he/she has to. Thusly another scriptural statement: "Hell has no power over the righteous." Regarding the book of Revelation, it mostly pertains to the fall of the Roman Empire (The Beast), the Roman Emperor (The Antichrist), and the end of ancient religions (False Propthet) in favor of the modern ones we know today. I do beleive that a Judgement Day will happen at the end of time, though, and that this is the only part of Revelation that has not *already* been fulfilled. But I think the part saying that the Devil will be thrown into the lake of fire refers to people's conception of the Devil as we have it today. That has to go, eventually, because it is both untrue and outdated in the face of the truth.
Remember: 666 is not the number of the "Devil" but the encoded name of several Roman Emperors. Caligula, Nero, and Domitian were all called "The Beast" by their subjects, who suffered under them and those who weren't under Roman "protection" were not allowed to buy or sell because they were not Roman citizens. This led to them being either enslaved, put to death, or forced to become Roman citizens. Plus, the Romans destroyed the Temple and erected an image of the Emperor in it, while claiming the emperor was God. All, as prophecied!
So Revelation has one foot in the past, and the other in the future. That is my interpretation.
I have other beliefs too, regarding Revelation but that is the basics of how I reason them out.
- Free will in a free society...
The best part though, is no one has to agree with me about any of this. We are all free to make up our own minds about the nature of Man, God, and the Universe in all it's diversity. But one thing we must do: we must respect one another's beliefs and the right to have the belief system that is working for them. I would never impose mine on anyone, and I would never accept any beliefs that were imposed on me by another. That is why I am glad that America has not lost the freedom to choose one's own religion. That is the one right which everyone whould have as a given, no matter who they are or where they live. Amen to that! ;)

This is from the depths of my soul:

- "Love's Wealth" -

"And in the autumn of the year, which arose...
from out of the hot sun of summer, fading fast,
There contemplated a man of sorrow and wisdom...
Who dreaded the winter, which chilled and froze.
Not for the cold it brought, which did not last,
But for the loneliness which so tormented him."

"He penned a poem to reach a heart like his own,
His quill held steady, despite his anxiousness.
What hope in words, when people forget in time?
People are only human, of mortal flesh and bone,
Too quick to overlook a loving heart, and bliss.
And too swift to dismiss, the truth in a rhyme!"

"Oh, to craft a mate to one's soul, what power...
That only gods have over men's and women's fates.
We cannot create love from nothing, as can they!
And so I pray, that soon shall come a golden hour,
Wherein a lady fair shall, my wanton heart sate...
And my eternal night shall give before the day."

"None who live request their maker to create them,
And so none who live should have only themsevles.
Every soul contains it's share of longing lusts!
I know well, from whence this longing doth stem...
When a heart is fashioned, it is split in halves.
All our lives, we seek the half to complete us."

"Are we, then, machines programmed long before...
Doth not flesh and bone function automatically?
Oh, aye, but we are more, for our souls are real!
If only love were more plentiful, ever in store...
Then, changed would be the whole of this reality.
Too many, fear to look beyond the flesh's seal!"

"Yet do I dare to look into the spirit, and care,
For it is there that we trult exist in true form!
I fancy that, somewhere, my destined one hears me.
Will she answer me today, my dear soulmate fair?
I hope upon her courage, to keep my own soul warm.
For winter cometh, and brittle grows every tree."

"Oh sweet e'en would be that winter were she here!
A springtime we might make out of such a season...
But I lack the power to craft such wonders myself.
To be like the gods, our other half must be near!
And so I hope, with longing as my rhyming reason,
That soon I shall be filled, with love's wealth."

May the love I have never known, know me soon.

I have seen quite a few foreign movies and shows over the years, and this is a list of just some of my favorite ones, for those curious...

Pan's Labyrinth (Spanish Film) -
A dark and twisted take on Alice and Wonderland, set amidt the tumult of Franco's fascist regime. As the story progresses, the lines between what is real and what is fantasy become thinner and thinner. This movie is, truly, a masterpiece! It is not a film for children, however, as it deals with mature themes and shows the brutality of the fascist regime for what it was. All in all, I did indeed enjoy this film, and recommend it, highly!

Brotherhood of the Wolf (French Film) -
An interesting story about the true origin of the werewolf mythos based on a real historic incident.
The costumes, the fight sequences, the drama of the story, all were excellent. I liked how they worked the "Silver Bullet" into it, too. Perfect. This film showed the decadent, superstitious way society was in the time period of the movie, and I thought the fact that one of the heroes was a Native American was a refreshing, unique change.

Gatchaman (Japanese Anime) -
Leaps and bounds better than the Americanized show "Battle of the Planets", this is a story of five ninja super-heroes fighting against an evil organization headed by an alien entity and it's hermaphrodite servant. Intelligent sci-fi story about environmental concerns, deceptive politics, a covert alien takeover, giant robots, and how five teenagers try to deal with it all. The most recent version made, was Gatchaman Collection.

Fist of the North Star (Japanese Anime) -
In a world where the Apocalypse came and went, a wanderer named Kenshiro must fight against the evils of both the Southern Cross army and an evil conqueror bent on taking over what is left of the world. Was also made into a live-action movie but the Anime movie was much better. A new series was made recently... about Kenshiro saving a village where they revere a boy as a living god. It was an excellent continuation/conclusion to the tale.

Steamboy (Japanese Anime) -
Some people think Akira was the greatest Anime to ever be made. And they often overlook this gem... made by the same person who made Akira! This is a fantastic steampunk story about a boy who creates an invention that powerful people want to obtain for their own ends. My favorite character in this movie was Scarlet. She brightens every scence she is in, and is never annoying, unlike some of the more stereotypical "Anime Girls" in such movies.

Parasite Eve (Japanese Film) -
A woman's mitochondria mutate and take over her body, causing her to become something other than human. This movie actually was the inspiration for a series of video games for the Playstation that dealt with a similar group of incidents. It isn't the deepest movie ever made, but it was a very good science fiction film with reasonably decent special effects for the time it was made. Unlike the video games, it wasn't especially gory.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Chinese Film) -
This was my first experience with this genre of film, where martial artists fly through the air in over-the-top fights. The story was excellent, and the women were especially beautiful in it. Either the actresses were lovely, or their makeup and costumes just flattered them perfectly. The story had a great deal of depth to it, so I could not explain it here, but truly this film was both breathtaking and action-packed. Very, very unique.

Moll Flanders (British Mini-Series) -
So much better than the poorly-adapted American movie of the same name, this was an excellently done film about a woman who, by circumstance, was forced into a life of crime and iniquity, while at heart being still a good woman. She eventually finds three great loves in her life, ends up on trial for her crimes and almost hanged, but gets pardoned and lives out the rest of her life with the man she loved the most. Romance with attitude.

Warrior Queen (British Mini-Series) -
A dramatization of the life of Queen Boudiccea of the Iceni tribe in Celtic Britain. Probably the only film to accurately depict her life and death.
It was in turns, action-packed, dramatic, tearful,
horrible, and wonderful. In the end, I realized just how much this woman went through to protect her family and free her people from the Romans. I could only respect her courage, and sympathize with her every pain. Truly, a brave queen indeed!

Gormenghast (British Mini-Series) -
A kitchen-sevant becomes the most powerful man in the kingdom, but that power corrupts him and soon he begins a reign of terror that must be ended by a boy destined to overthrow him. In the meantime, squabbling and conniving nobles vie for power and influence while the old order of things gives way to more chaotic times. This movie shows just how utterly deceptive people can be to gain power and how that power can corrput the soul... utterly.

And, we'll end the list at 10 for the time being. 10 is a good, solid number, and was even used in the Bible (as in the 10 Commandments), so all I can say is... see you next time! ;)