Congratulations.

I already looked. You are extremely cute and your profile information is refreshingly free of l337speak and typos.

If it was me, I would back off a little on telling people about the breakup--it's kind of like wandering around lost in a subway station, i.e., you're more likely to attract predators that way. It's nice to meet you. ;)

I like meeting people and I like internet discussion forums. However, I'm not really into meeting guys for "dating" (YECCHHH I HATE that word!!) on the internet or in real life right now because I'm currently involved with someone with whom I've discussed moving in at some point in the future.

The times I have tried to actually meet local guys that I met first on the internet I ended up wasting a bunch of time chatting on IM and the phone and THEN the lousy motherf!ckers stood me up. It happened like three times and so I gave up on it. (One guy called me again months after he stood me up and said that he'd been in jail when he had been supposed to hang out with me and asked if we could still get together...)

I have met people in real life that I met first on the internet but only once was this in relation to a social site like this one. The other times these friendships started as IM conversations based on mutual interests and grew from there.

So to answer your question more specifically: Not anymore. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

Short answer: She's trying to have her cake and eat it too.

Without wasting a lot of verbiage (I'm doing household chores right now) I would make a further observation that she must consider you pretty damned dumb. (That's not me saying that I think you are dumb; it's me saying that from the evidence you've presented here, it's obvious that SHE thinks you are dumb.)

Unfortunately, love does not conquer all and should not be considered a trump card in any dealing.

A further thought is that she probably is one of those people who will tell herself that she's being "honest" in not hiding an affair like this one. So much for honesty! That's why I generally don't associate with people who say that honesty is a big priority for them and why I don't pretend to be "honest" myself.

Whether you accept what she's telling you and continue to love her in spite of these things or not is up to your own personal standards, of course. Marrying her I would consider a poor idea, however.

I hope this helps. I feel bad for ya, but just tell yourself that it's better to know what a... um... er... FREE SPIRIT she is before you commit to spending the rest of your life with her. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

I hope you're not accusing me of standing on some kind of "moral high ground".

And as I mentioned, I gave you the kind of answer I would give a friend, or anybody, who came to me personally and asked same.

And--possibly a more interesting question--how exactly do you know that any of these people is violating his or her own personal standards? If you are using this topic as a means to accuse various members of hypocrisy, that would seem to me to be a rather pointless waste of everyone's time. If you can't be a hypocrite on the internet, where CAN you be a hypocrite?

Most people are going to say they don't think "cheating" (I generally avoid that word, but just to use a common term understood by all) is a great idea because they know it feels bad to be "cheated" on. "Chemistry"--in case I didn't make myself clear enough, is an EXCUSE for committing acts that may potentially cause pain for those one cares about, and therefore I discard it as a rationale for my actions.

Chemistry when used as a justification for harmful actions is of course bullsh1t. Something as pretty as a flame appeals to a child's "chemistry" but he's damned sure going to learn not to put his hand in it sooner or later, regardless.

Since it seems that you are asking what I would do, personally, when faced with this type of dilemma: I would weigh all the options and consider all the possible consequences before acting. Once I had decided on a course of action, I would carry it out. It might involve forgetting about the whole thing, or it might involve me acting on my impulse to get involved with the other person. Regardless, "morality" is not going to figure into my thought on the matter.

Speaking from the point of view of someone who has little to no use for conventional morality (or anything that calls itself "morality" really, whether conventional or not)--I try to view every act in terms of its possible consequences, and not whether some unseen entity/society will find it "immoral" or not.

Even an intensely self-interested person (such as myself) can find good and rational reasons for not hitting on someone else's mate, regardless of "chemistry" (excuses, excuses!)

For example: Retaliation by the wronged person. You may not see it as "cheating" per se, but that's not going to matter once you're getting the crap beat out of you.

Another example would involve the inevitable aftermath of lust's satisfaction and the feelings of doubt and ambivalence that set in when one has committed an act that compromises one's personal standards as well as those of society (you would not have asked if you weren't at least somewhat concerned about same).

Wondering about possible consequences AFTER one has committed the antisocial act is very... well, it's dumb.

If you were a friend of mine and came to me with that question, I would say that obviously it's a terrible idea--for you, since you are having misgivings about it.

If something feels wrong, then it probably IS wrong.

I hope this was helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

This one guy who lived for a couple of years with me and the guys in my band was a Harley Davidson mech by profession and also did shotgun reloads/trap shooting, stunt riding, flat track racing, and hosts of other "manly" things. He was only 5'2" and weighed 110 pounds (I could easily pick him up). He had a really cute a$$ and liked to wear tight pants, and he also had long, very well kept, blonde hair (and a long blonde beard).

When we would sit in a bar "Doc" (not his real name) would often sit with his back to the door. Men would come into the bar, see that long blonde hair and cute little butt in tight jeans sitting on the bar stool, and sport an immediate horn. When it started to seem as though some hapless male was getting ready to come up and talk to us, I would signal Doc, who would turn to the side ever so slightly so that the gent could also see his beard.

Oh, the hilarity! The expressions that would cross these guys' faces! With some of them you could tell that it would be at least a week before that guy was capable of getting an erection again. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

EDIT: Sorry, I didn't realize you were in the middle of a story. My bad.

This topic is actually of interest to me; my main heartthrob majors in psychology and intends to work in that field. Yes, I was horrified when I found out; when he admitted this to me it was with some hesitation, because I had already told him about my loathing for doctors. He hastily added that the particular field in which he intends to employ his eventual degree is forensics.

It sounds to me as though you have not fully explored the benefits of your knowledge of psychology, and suppose that the best use for your stated talents is to provide a shoulder for some weak person to cry on.

That is so not the case!

There's SO MUCH MORE you can do with a talent for psychology. Helmut has definitely shown me that. For example, it makes you a better scammer and user of people. It makes you a better liar. It makes you more able to get things you want without having to threaten or scare others. It makes you better able to deal with the mentally deficient, animals, and small children. Really--the list of possible applications is nearly endless.

It's like thinking that all you can do with your Art major is house painting, right?

See, I am one of those people who dislikes Supportive Guy, and actually gets a sort of creepy feeling whenever he walks into the room, even if he's not wearing his nametag. But Social Engineering Guy--I'm that guy's biggest fan. ;)

My long-haired, handsome, vicious, smart, guitar-playing hero can actually apply his psychologic talents to acting like he gives a damn every so often, too. "I know how to be nice," he will often point out. "It's just that I seldom see a need for it." And how true that is! Girls fawn all over Social Engineering Guy, and sometimes even fight over him. (*Sigh* he's so dreamy!)

Just yesterday evening I admitted to Helmut over the phone that I had been tempted to blame him for something unfortunate that had happened to me a few weeks ago. After listening to me ramble on about this incident and how the whole thing made me feel--he never interrupts, and one does get the impression that he is ACTUALLY LISTENING--he waited for a few seconds to see if I was going to say anything else, and then replied:

"Well, you know if you had actually said that it was my fault, I would have just told you that I don't care, right?"

It made tears of joy spring to my eyes.

Anyway, it appears to me that you are seeing the glass as half empty. There's SO MUCH MORE you can do with a talent for psychology. I hope this was helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

On a lot of forums there is a topic for people to post dreams; maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea here. (But what do I know? I'm a n00b.)

Anyway, why would you think this dream means there's something wrong with you? It's a dream. I hope this is helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

You know how in writing class they say "show, don't tell"..? You are telling us what kind of person you are but it would be better if you illustrated those qualities with a couple of anecdotes. It seems that you have a fine sense of humor; maybe a story about something funny that happened to you, or something you said or did that people thought was funny...? yours in Chaos, Scarlett

Ah... it's always nice to read a few paragraphs written by a person who can ACTUALLY WRITE, lol! I can see very little on this that I would change. It's basically fine the way it is, and those are great pics. Nice to meet you! :)

Does anyone but me find this rather unpleasantly manipulative and confrontational?

You're saying "I'm sort of shy" which is cool but then we find that to impress you one must "cut the stuped [sic] sh!t and get down to learning about each other". And then "what am I doing wrong" (no question mark, but I assume it's a question)

This is the type of post that really brings out my inner troll.

And yet I will resist the urge to tell you what I think you're "doing wrong", and say "welcome!" (See how easy being manipulative and creepy is for a true master of the art? You have much to learn, grasshopper!)

yours in Chaos, Scarlett

In my opinion your admissions are too "heavy duty". There's a way to be honest without full disclosure--a lot of people get the two mixed up. While it's admirable that you are admitting to these acts, the way you're doing it is--yeah--going to put people off. It's not so much: "Oh, what a regular guy he is for admitting this!" but, "Why is he telling me all this?" It's a matter of degrees, in other words.

If it was me, I would put more stuff in about my present (reformed) self and then just a mention: "I'm not gonna lie: I have legal issues, but I have paid the price for them and am in the process of moving on." That way you're giving your disclaimer in a fair and honest way without dumping all your problems on a stranger's doorstep.

When I meet someone at a bar--for example--and that person tells me that he's been in prison, or just got discharged from the Army, or is on Disability, or whatever, I appreciate that person telling me those things. It makes that person seem honest and forthcoming without involving me in the problem. It's my option then to try to find out more or change the subject--since we are after all in a public place for socializing, right?

However, if that person immediately starts telling me what he was in prison FOR, it's a lot different. It makes me somewhat wary--it makes him seem like he's got a guilty conscience, or that he may be trying to impress me in some strange way. (I once had a guy I had just met start telling me, after just one beer, how he and a buddy had pulled a home invasion robbery.)

Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I would put more stuff about me and what I like to do, and leave the "I have legal issues" at a bare minimum.

I hope this helps. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

*salutes*

If you don't keep a record of your dreams, there is really no way to tell what one particular dream "means" or if it means anything at all. (And the subject line of this topic doesn't describe what the topic is about at all. Just sayin.)

Anyway: Based on just one dream that is sort of disturbing, I would say you have nothing to worry about. You were probably feeling anxious about something else that had little or nothing to do with your dad or stepmom, and that's just how your anxiety worked itself out in your dream. Maybe you were unwilling to face whatever personal issue was making you anxious, so your brain sort of stepped in and gave you another situation that you didn't have any control over (your dad and stepmother's relationship) to feel anxious about until you could finally think about the real issue. (I'm not saying that's the case, necessarily--but just illustrating that there's always more than one explanation.)

To find out whether you are having dreams that predict anything you have to keep some sort of record of dreams over a period of time--that's really the only way you can know. I hope this helps! yours in Chaos, Scarlett

62/male/a trailer park somewhere in South Carolina

I always work on the weekends. And of course I take care of my critters and try to get some reading done, and will more than likely spend an hour or so talking on the phone.

Scaring little kids; not PLAY scaring them, but really scaring them to the point that they start crying.

I can be in the worst mood, but if I can make a little kid scream and run away in terror, it will put a smile on my face. :)

I agree--if they are good looking. If they're overweight and have teeth missing it's sort of gross. ;)

Assuming that there's some way that nearly 7 billion people could be encouraged or coerced all to follow the same religion--quite a stretch of logic, there, but IF--then I don't think you would see much difference.

For example: Lots of people who follow the same religion in different nations do not follow the same practices or have the same concept of divinity. Look at how enthusiastically Muslims are currently killing each other off because one group does not worship the same as the other--all Muslims accept Allah as the one true God, right? And get the Shia hate the Druse, and so on and so forth.

Though there's not quite as much bloodshed over the issue, there are like 20 or more different varieties of Christians--again, all believing in the same God, accepting the same basic tenet that God's "son" Jesus saved them from eternal death by his sacrifice. And yet how differently each group interprets this very simple word, and how bitterly they can fight over it--yes, even with bloodshed sometimes.

So, to answer your question: I don't think there would be a lot of difference if all humanity was to suddenly start practicing the same religion.

I hope this was helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett