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| Topic: Is my profile TOO honest? | |
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Is my profile too honest, and does it look like I am trying to scare people away?
Let me know what you think!! |
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Well its total honesty, which is good, so hopefully the responders will heed what you have said, all in all, I think its good.
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Seems pretty honest to me. And you are letting anyone know now about your past rather than later. We all have pasts and I respect you for your honesty. If a woman can't deal with what happened in your past then she does not need to be a part of your future.
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Thanx...
A local friend of mine said she thought I was actually trying to scare people away by being too bluntly honest... |
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no it doesn't look like you want to scare anyone. But, my opinion, for what it's worth, is that you have scared yourself. You want to be forgiven. For that you must go to your son. Good luck, God Bless.
Sweetest |
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In my opinion your admissions are too "heavy duty". There's a way to be honest without full disclosure--a lot of people get the two mixed up. While it's admirable that you are admitting to these acts, the way you're doing it is--yeah--going to put people off. It's not so much: "Oh, what a regular guy he is for admitting this!" but, "Why is he telling me all this?" It's a matter of degrees, in other words.
If it was me, I would put more stuff in about my present (reformed) self and then just a mention: "I'm not gonna lie: I have legal issues, but I have paid the price for them and am in the process of moving on." That way you're giving your disclaimer in a fair and honest way without dumping all your problems on a stranger's doorstep. When I meet someone at a bar--for example--and that person tells me that he's been in prison, or just got discharged from the Army, or is on Disability, or whatever, I appreciate that person telling me those things. It makes that person seem honest and forthcoming without involving me in the problem. It's my option then to try to find out more or change the subject--since we are after all in a public place for socializing, right? However, if that person immediately starts telling me what he was in prison FOR, it's a lot different. It makes me somewhat wary--it makes him seem like he's got a guilty conscience, or that he may be trying to impress me in some strange way. (I once had a guy I had just met start telling me, after just one beer, how he and a buddy had pulled a home invasion robbery.) Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I would put more stuff about me and what I like to do, and leave the "I have legal issues" at a bare minimum. I hope this helps. yours in Chaos, Scarlett |
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you have given enough info for me to tell that you are not at peace with yourself today..nuf said
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I agree with the others. Honesty is a great thing, but something like that should be kept for the people you are trying to be with. Good luck!
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In my opinion your admissions are too "heavy duty". There's a way to be honest without full disclosure--a lot of people get the two mixed up. While it's admirable that you are admitting to these acts, the way you're doing it is--yeah--going to put people off. It's not so much: "Oh, what a regular guy he is for admitting this!" but, "Why is he telling me all this?" It's a matter of degrees, in other words. If it was me, I would put more stuff in about my present (reformed) self and then just a mention: "I'm not gonna lie: I have legal issues, but I have paid the price for them and am in the process of moving on." That way you're giving your disclaimer in a fair and honest way without dumping all your problems on a stranger's doorstep. When I meet someone at a bar--for example--and that person tells me that he's been in prison, or just got discharged from the Army, or is on Disability, or whatever, I appreciate that person telling me those things. It makes that person seem honest and forthcoming without involving me in the problem. It's my option then to try to find out more or change the subject--since we are after all in a public place for socializing, right? However, if that person immediately starts telling me what he was in prison FOR, it's a lot different. It makes me somewhat wary--it makes him seem like he's got a guilty conscience, or that he may be trying to impress me in some strange way. (I once had a guy I had just met start telling me, after just one beer, how he and a buddy had pulled a home invasion robbery.) Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I would put more stuff about me and what I like to do, and leave the "I have legal issues" at a bare minimum. I hope this helps. yours in Chaos, Scarlett I updated the profile... Thanx for your help (to everyone) |
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The funny thing is that I think I am trying to scare myself off more than scare others away...
It is difficult to watch couples who at the surface seem happy to be together. I have been burned too many times, and I have yet to find anyone that I can be myself around, and still have a loving relationship... It is either friends or lovers. I don't know how to be both inclusively... |
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Edited by
lilith401
on
Mon 09/22/08 07:39 AM
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Your profile has TMI Syndrome. As well, pictures of kids is not a good idea. I can right click on those and steal them, as can anyone. FYI...
There is such a thing as introducing yourself and such a thing as overdisclosing. Scarlett is right on. Since you updated it, I'm not sure what you said before, but I'd take out a lot more. Talk about you and who you are. People aren't what they did. |
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Okay, I'm going to be brutally honest here.
If I hadn't seen what you wrote previously about your son, I would take the statement: "it helped to cost me my parental rights to my daughter" regarding your legal problems as you being a child molester and I wouldn't go any further with getting to know you. That's just my interpretation of that statement, and others might interpret it differently. But if I were you, I would just get rid of that part altogether. If they want to know more about your situation, then they will ask. Just saying.  |
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no it doesn't look like you want to scare anyone. But, my opinion, for what it's worth, is that you have scared yourself. You want to be forgiven. For that you must go to your son. Good luck, God Bless. Sweetest I did a while ago... now I have to deal with what everyone else thinks! |
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I have an update:
I met someone through another free site (won't mention the name) who saw my Profile as it was before editing (I used the same profile statements as here) and contacted me twice (two weeks apart). I met her Friday, and we went to the Rocky Horror picture show together Saturday... This one has definite potential, as she is as open and honest as I am... Thanx to all for your help!! Brian |
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 My profile is completely honest.
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My profile is completely honest. I want to join your church. |
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