I never wrote stories before I met you.  I never wrote love letters as long and as much as write them for you.  I never felt the feelings I felt for you even when I thought I was loving someone as much as my heart could contain but with you, all different.
 
I was searching for tips on how to become a writer and I came across some tips from one of my favorite romance authors, Rose Tan.  She said, “Anyone can Google the ‘How’ but maybe what they really want to know is the ‘What’”.
 
She said, “It takes ‘Empathy’ to be a writer.  A writer must descend into hell – the darkest, scariest, ugliest, and loneliest part of his psyche.  It will make you understand, it will teach you patience, you will see goodness and decency in everyone and you will learn to love unconditionally.  You will get hurt, your tears the most bitter, and you will write.”
 
Perhaps, when I learned to love you unconditionally and completely embraced it, I learned empathy.  I went into hell for every fear I felt with just the thought of losing what is now the thing I valued the most.  There were times when I would jump in blindly to visit that world; each dimension, only to feel the pain and imagine life without you and even then, I know I am changed forever.
 
Once, you shared a link with me.  A song by Mick Flannery, “Boston” and I sent you a message.  A line from that song and I asked you… “If I would ask you nicely, would you run away with me?”  And you answered me with… “Obviously, Yes”.
 
We never rushed in this relationship, you never did… you took your time, you thought about it for a long time before you committed.   You even tested me before you told you love me too… we don’t need to rush.  You said, “We would grow over the months…”
 
Let’s do that again, please?!  Let’s continue growing not just months but years.  What do we have to lose but time?  They said, “The best things in life don’t come easy but those things are the ones worth the sacrifice…”
 
And armed with this my love, I will work so much harder to win you back so I can get my happiness back, my contentment, my love, my excitement, and so I can get another chance with you.  I loved you since day one and that is honest and I will continue loving you more and more every day.
 
I will always love you from day one until eternity and until forever thereafter.  You gave a new meaning to my life and gave me reasons to always look forward to tomorrow.  I will always love you unconditionally, honestly, truthfully… more than life itself – from day one to no ends…

was it? i can't remember, i guess i have to go back on my other ones to see

awts. wrong title

I never knew what true love is, what it feels like until you but i am so very glad that i realized it sooner, at the beginning of our relationship.  When i think about it now, all the emotions i felt were all juxtaposition of all the feelings you made me feel.


The feeling of so much love that it went beyond the heavens yet the fear of losing you brought me down to my knees and humbled me in ways i have never felt before.

The feeling of being on the clouds, up in the skies with simple words from you, yet the same words causes chaos inside me.

This love that taught me patience yet i was impatient to see all the possibilities...to see all the unknowns and discover new things, brave the uncertainties, and always hungry for more of you.

The feelings that made me mature yet remained young at heart, often times, like a teenager falling and feeling love for the first time...scared, restless, excited, proud, and giggly.

I was hopeful yet i was helpless.  I completely surrendered to loving you instantenously yet i could not accept the fact that you are no longer mine.


The hurt and pain that comes with loving you knowing you are no longer mine is as sweet as accepting somehow you are still there...


Not a single day that i never wished to win you back again.  Not a single moment that i never hoped for you to give us another chance.  I just want my happiness back, my contentment, my life, my love...to the time when i was your girlfriend...when you were mine...i miss everything about "us".  I miss you my loves, i love you so much my sexy gorgeous...

thank you JulieABush and Jugari007. you both have a pleasant day

I am like a slow burning candle. I am patient, i radiate light. A glimmer of light out of darkness. I flicker at times. The flame and fire in me is hot, I burn but if you know a trick or two, i could be fun, i could be safe. Blow me or i will die but you could light me up again and i will stay with you through the darkness until i die...

I am sorry Tex. I wish you and your daughter happiness, contentment, love, and so much more that you deserve... A wish of peace to your heart, mind, and soul.

thank you Julie!

Thank you Bonnie!

These hands... 🤲in the beginning you promised to hold these hands 🤲 and never let them go...

These same hands, I pictured holding your hands as we journey life together... in a long and winding road you said that is full of gravel. Now the same hands 🤲 I use to pray to help me heal my heart and forget all the feelings... an amazing and wonderful love that was once my everything...

God knows how much I wanted to send you a bunch of messages on WhatsApp but then again I don’t want to bother you while you are spending time with your brothers so here I am again in front of my computer typing these words, playing my favorite song for you and feeling so emotional. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore why I am so crazy for you but I do not think you have any slightest idea or feeling of what I am going through.

Silent cries, that’s all I can do now so I can relieve myself because I am missing you so much. If you cast a spell on me, then I am under your spell. There is no cure or antidote to reverse what I am feeling for you. You told me once before, “…you are equally loved…” I don’t think you are right, I am not doubting you but I don’t think you even know half of what I am going through—all the feelings I am feeling for you—there is no basic, all intense.

The other night, I texted you and I described to you how I am picturing us in my fantasy land with you, in my world with you. I said we were both lying on the bed and you are telling me stories while we are holding hands under the blanket.

Tonight, I am just here imaging again, this time, you and I walking together, side by side, with your arms around my waist and I am standing so close to you, Jesus, what a lovely thought in my head and then again I am hurting at the same time because I don’t even know if it will ever happen. I have all these beautiful, sweet things in my head, will I ever run out of things to imagine with you in there?

You don’t know how much I am praying, wishing to see you in my future, for you to be my second chance. You don’t have any idea how much you are making me happy every time I am getting messages from you—text or voicemail, how much it completes my day. You have no idea how much I wanted to make the time stop every time we are talking on the phone because I don’t want our conversation to end. You have no idea how many times I would go to my phone to see your face, kiss your lips, I am the perfect epitome of a crazy fool but I am helpless.

I am trying so hard to keep myself so very busy but no matter how busy I am or how tired I am, I could not stop myself from thinking of you especially at night. You may be able to hear happiness in my voice every time we are talking on the phone, my laughter but what you don’t hear are my silent cries every time I am missing you and all I can do is to stare at your pictures and write you short text messages or long letters hoping I could somehow make you feel how much I am loving you. You are not seeing the happiness on my face, how I scream silently of happiness whenever you are sending me voice messages, or a video, a picture of you, most especially when you are telling me the words, “I love you” or whenever you are calling me, “My hunny bunny, my Alice, my girl…” those things owning me, what other sweetest words could ever replace those? None… I am always in heaven, in awe at the beauty of these feelings.

I love you so very much, so very much and tonight as I lay on my bed, I will let myself get drowned so much deeper again with my fantasies of you inside the world I created with you in it. Please forgive this crazy fool who is in love with you, you must understand, she is lost when it comes to loving you. She is at her worst and at her best when it comes to loving you. Her feelings for you are just the worst and the best of her so please forgive her…I love you so very much!

If you were my counselor or my good friend, what would you tell me? What help would you give me?

Each time we say, "Hello" at the beginning of each of our conversations, I am flooded with nervousness and happiness. A smile always forms in my lips, controlling myself from letting out a silent scream, like a fangirl to her "idol", it's always like that every time.

Every ending of our conversation, the part where we say, "goodbye" it's like the word is choking me, making it hard to say...because the part in between the hello and the goodbye is where the "magic" happens.

It is like for those moments, no matter how long or shorts the duration of the call, it is like you are taking me into a different world, a different place all the time. I get to feel emotions, feelings...each time, you are giving me something I would always treasure forever...memories, great memories. In each of our conversations, I always hold them dear in my heart because, in those moments, I am with you...I am a friend, I am a best friend, I am a girlfriend, and a lot, lot more...you are making me feel my worth...I am somebody, someone who exists and not just a name or title. In your great ways, you are changing the meaning of some certain things for me, erasing bad memories and replacing them with happy thoughts and making them all wonderful so thank you!

I love you so much more again, deeper than an hour ago before we said our "hello" and hear you say the words, "I love you" I am in heaven once more...

I love you my loves...I love you so very, very, very much!

I don't normally respond to replies on my posts, I probably should start doing that now. I want tp let you all knoe, your kind words are grearly appreciated.

Though my words are full of love and happiness... these were all in the past, sharing the beautiful story I was once part of thr main characters... that story though has ended and all remained are just these wonderful memories to last me a lifetime.

My posts are snippets to my love letters I sent to the man who made me feel and showed me what true lovr is, what it feels. To soar beyond the heavens for amazing feelings that once craddled me.

You are my weakness. I am weak when you are sending me pictures of you and then i fall head over heels in love with you again...

I am also always proud to claim you "my boyfriend". When i am mentioning your name to whoever i am talking to, it always follow with, "my boyfriend"

When i look myself in the mirror, i see a part of you in me. I see reflection of you in me... i see a view of your soul in me, i see a piece of your mind in me.

When i look at your pictures, i see gentle soul. When i listen to your words, i hear kindness and sincerity. When i hear your stories, i hear the most exciting man in my universe. When i see your videos, i see a man with great knowledge, vast experience, i see and hear humor but gentle and loving at the same time.

My heart beats as if it is in tune with your heart beats. When my jealous heart feels scared of losing you... i turn to you words and your promises and it calms me; erases the uncertainties inside me.

I sometimes feel insecure for how i could deserve a perfect man like you? What rights do i have to be deserving of this great love that i am down on my knees in awe just embracing the beauty of this love affair?

You know when you are hurting too much, it is when you are crying you also feel your heart crying...So much you could hear it sobbing...

if i could only go back three years ago when it all began, when it all started... what i would not give to relive those feelings... what's the line and title of that song... "...ah love, look you've done to me..."

i was actually thinking about it... a short story of since i met you... there was lonely girl who was desperate to find something to distract her from her busy world. she searched and searched and finally found a communication app and decided to download it and give it a try - at least to distract her from her monotonous life. a day or two after she tried the app, she was thinking of deleting it because it does not making sense to her until a gentle soul sent her a private message and asked her about happiness - if it was enough alone. she confided in him her troubles, her heartaches, all her pain. her dreams and some everything in between. she got scared when he mentioned the consequence was she might fall for him and she decided to stay away from him fearing the possibility. she regretted her decision but she was too shy to reach out to him but he did anyway. he even apologized for what happened the night before. she was still scared but braved the unknown - trusting him that he would help her for as long as she needs. today. the kind gentleman sang her songs, made her laugh and again slowly making her feel good - better than the 11 months she's been aching... this lonely girl is hoping that this kind gentleman would truly change her and discover the inner beauty within her and believe in her self just like he said he would make her discover herself... the lonely woman is hopeful, thankful, and grateful...

they say: "I like you!"
and i reply: "The feeling is mutual, i like myself too!"

they say: "I miss you!"
and i reply, "yeah, i miss myself too"

they say: "I love you"
me: "Next question please!" 🤭

It is some sort of a constant search for words – for the right words to describe this bursting feeling, drowning affection, delicious emotions… engulfing my whole being. Where are these emotions coming from, I do not even know. I am puzzled and amazed still, every day, every time I am putting these words together and typing my letters to you, giving my thoughts, exposing my love for you. I am so vulnerable – a snap of your fingers could easily shatter me.

A word from you could either send me beyond heavens or drown in my own tears. I am at your mercy and I am so scared… but loving it… I even asked you to be possessive of me, a weird way of making me feel, I am yours and you would never let me go – you would never let anyone take me away from you. I want you to be possessive of my love because you only want it for yourself – they are yours my loves, only yours.

Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me – this busygal is so hopelessly, romantically, so, so, so in to you – so much in love with you… the wonders and mysteries of love – I surrendered, I am engulfed, drowned but you are there to rescue me – with your love. Such a sweet, sweet, sweet feeling – to be loved by you, let me drown some more until I can breathe no more… I’ll die loving you for each and every lifetime I would live… Can you feel my love?