welcome to JSH roger

good thing it wasnt written for you then huh

Listen
Can you hear it?
It's the empty sound of nothing.
Every word is there, millions of tears have fallen
I still long to be in your arms
Pray that there is no one new, and wonder if you still feel the same.
Nervous hands attempt to write
It stops for a moment, scratches out a line
No, that rings far too true.
Why am I doing this?
Everything is already spelled out in simple English
All you have to do is listen to the silence.
It screams fear of rejection,
The nights I wished I could fall asleep to the sound of your heartbeat
Over and over, it repeats the truth
Louder and louder...
I miss you terribly.
Fear of sounding pathetic is there too
God I hate the deafening sound of nothing!
The haunting whispers of words left unspoken
Are sometimes more than this heart can bare

You're staring at a dark empty sky
Slowly the entire world fades to black
The air turns cold, but numbed by hopelessness you don't notice
Cement feet aimlessly wander
In the distance a shadowy figure appears
It beckons with a bony finger, silently taunting you with your own thoughts.
Who would need you here, why stay?
Come, take my hand, I'll lead you away.
You cannot go closer, I know it all hurts
The empty brokenness, the wave of nothingness that follows
I've looked into that ghastly face, thin lips pressed into an almost evil grin.
It would be so much easier to follow him
To feel nothing at last
But there are those who care
Who want to help
Please!
I beg of you
Do not take deaths beckoning hand.

i dont really know him but i feel left out lol so right on irad

Such a fool I have been
To actually believe you need me
Rudely awoken from the fairytale, reality wrapped its icy fingers around my heart
You do not need me now, or ever
Words are just ink or pencil lead, none of them have to be true.
Once upon a time I longed to be with you
But I have not been the only one.
Something told me all along in the end I would feel this way
Still, salty tears dampen my face.
You have walked beside me through the storms of hell
Guided me through the dark desolate streets of worthlessness,
Now I fear it is time to let go.
To disappear once more into the shadows
Provided by the grand scheme of things.
At least I know you're safe
With that thought, if it must happen...
I am ready to be forgotten
Just always know I'll be here
Should you someday pull me out of those long forgotten memories

I see you in his eyes
In every whisper your support is hidden
Pulling me back to my feet
I stumble through the next tomorrow
A cloud of tears contorts my world
Into nothing but wishy-washy confusion
Even so they will not fall
Not all the time anyway.
Now it's time to be brave
Trudging on one day at a time
My brave face sometimes slips
But only for a moment
A thundering heart beats louder
No, I will not cry endlessly.
Time and time again I stood behind you
Horribly frightened I tried not to let it show.
You were so brave
No longer do I hang my head to cry
I look heavenward instead
For it is easier for you to see my face
Even from so very far away
I want you to see...
You taught me so much
Like how to be brave
Even when that is not how I feel
I'm stumbling now
But he caught me, I'll be okay
You taught me bravery .

yup i know i just wish more people understood but they think im crazy lol who cares

I hate them all
Some say it's wrong
Look hard into this tear stained face
Do you think I care?
They have feelings too
Read these words upon the page
If you put them together you'll find a heart
Well, what's left of one anyway.
Do you think their feelings matter to me?
Call me a monster
A cruel soulless person
Today this heart is aching
Shattered like broken glass
Eloquent words strung together
Do little to stitch the wound
God I miss him dearly
And oh how he suffered
Treated worse than garbage
When all he ever wanted was to help
That man gave so much to so many
At home and away
Still all he received in return
Was torture and pain.
Feeling so very helpless
I stayed by his side, determined to help him
No matter what it took
Many a night
I sat in the dark and cried
He was my whole world
But he was forced to re-live every moment of his own private hell.
To them he was only a soldier
To me..
He was a reason to laugh
Even when I wanted to cry
To learn to conquer without fear of failure
Because in his eyes I couldn't fail
And to love like my heart had never been broken
Tears full of anger trickle endlessly
Say what you will
Defend them if it helps you sleep at night.
Before you tell me it's wrong, read these words
Maybe then you'll understand
Exactly why I hate them all

welcome to jsh :)

Winds of despair carried me into an empty sky
No wings, just an empty soul I knew I'd fall.
Faster and faster the ground came
Just a blur of green and brown.
Soon nothing would matter, the pain will stop,
I closed my eyes and held my breath
The ground never came
Instead I found myself wrapped in a feeling,
One that had long since been gone
Warmer than even the most beautiful spring day,
More intoxicating than the strongest alcohol.
Suddenly those I-will-never's were hard to find.
That little voice stopped screaming all the reasons this is wrong
He's always been my world, the best friend I have ever had.
Those feelings have only grown deeper roots.
Never before has another's lips felt so right gently pressed to mine
He has opened my world again,
The storm is not yet over
But it is letting up
He gave me wings to fly
Even in the worst of storms.


I love you Aaron

LOL right on

oh trust me thanks were necessary yall pretty much gave me my sanity back either that or im just as insane as the rest of yall and now it just seems normal

These past 6 months or so life has been really hellish between family drama and missing chris the way i have been at times i felt completely lost but there are a few people who mean the world to me. they make me smile, laugh harder than i have in a long time and re-think lifes events and why they happen even though they've been awful there just might be a reason for all of it. I know this should've been said long ago but I wasn't sure how to say it so i'll just say I have the best circle of friends anyone could ask for so...

Steve, Suzanne, Robert, Will, Richie, Uncle Mike (both) I thank you from the very bottom of my heart you guys are completely AMAZING you know, i was told once sometimes the family we choose is even better than the one we were born to and they were right.

love ya too...believe me i'm tryin faith is somethin i've never had much of though

yea well im still sort of mad at him but can ya blame me? but at the same time at least he helped me find some amazing friends

wow that was awesome robert your talent amazes me.

i don't get a busy signal he just plain hits the ignore button i think

A simple word
So small, completely meaningless to most
For me it meant the difference between heaven and hell
You see, he loved me like no one else.
Feeling very much alone and imprisoned
I wanted to give it all up
One simple word kept me strong
Spoken with the softest drawl
The way he felt was obvious to everyone
Stifling a giggle I silently thanked the lord.
Nobody understood the bond we shared
Why he was able to calm me when no one else could
Is still beyond me
No one needed to understand
He loved me
That would never change
Today when I hear that word
A little prick of sadness finds its way to my heart
Only for a moment though
He can never be completely gone,
Sometimes if I listen close enough to the gentle evening breeze
I can almost hear him...
“I love you darlin', more than you will ever know”
Without even thinking, the words
I love you too
Escape my lips in the softest of whispers
Barely audible to anyone
Yet, I know he heard me.

yea okay ummm i know the hottest guy here and im not gonna say any names LOL but yea you're cute thats about it but welcome to JSH

would anybody that had him on their friends list please let him know when he comes back that i switched screenames so i can deactivate my other one? if not he'll think i just deactivated he doesn't stay long but..