Reasons Why Harleys Are Better Than Women

Harleys only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.

Harleys curves never sag.

Harleys last longer.

Harleys don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Harley any time of the month.

Harleys don't have parents.

Harleys don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can kick your Harley to wake it up.

You can share your Harley with your friends. (I don't think so!!!

If your Harley makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Harley when the old one is REALLY WORN.

If your Harley smokes, you can do something about it.

Harleys don't care about how many other Harleys you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Harley both arrive at the same time.

Harleys don't care about how many other Harleys you have.

Harleys don't mind if you look at other Harleys, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.

New Harleys must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.

If your Harley goes flat, you can fix it.

If your Harley is too loose, you can tighten it.

If your Harley is too soft, you can get different shocks.

If your Harley is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

You can have a beer while riding your Harley.

You can have a black Harley and show it to your parents.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Harley.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Harley.

You don't have to convince your Harley that you're a cyclist and that you think that Harleys are equals.

If you say bad things to your Harley, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Harley as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Harley after you dump it.

Harleys always feel like going for a ride.

Harleys don't insult you if you're a bad rider.

Your Harley never wants a night out alone with the other Harleys.

Harleys don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Harley.

It's always OK to use tie downs on your Harley.

If your Harley doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Harley you don't know very well.

If you get rid of your Harley it doesn't get to keep half of your stuff. (Submitted by Smaug)

If you leave town you don't have to worry if your Harley is letting somebody else ride it.

You can trade your Harley in for a newer model without paying alimony. (Submitted by Smaug)

Your Harley doesn't mind if you play with it in public. Hey! Not all women are opposed to that...some even prefer it!!

Your Harley has an off switch.

You can totally ignore your Harley as long as you want. (Submitted by Smaug)

Your Harley won't get offended if you suggest bigger, aftermarket headlights.

You know exactly how much your Harley is going to take out of your checking account each month.

Your Harley doesn't expect foreplay.

Your Harley doesn't want to snuggle after a ride.

People envy your Harley more the older it gets.

You can get your Harley hot and ready with 2 minutes of sitting on your butt.

Your Harley doesn't mind waiting outside while you go into a strip club.

If you don't want your Harley anymore, it's not illegal to sell it.

You can Bore & Stroke it in public & no one cares!

Harley's don't mind having two riders at the same time.

You can sit, sipping on a cool J.D. & stare at your Harley for hours & it won't ask you any stupid questions!

You can call yer Harley anything in the book and still get to ride it after its all fired up!

If you take care of your Harley, it will never get to old for you to ride it.

You can call your Harley a hog and it wont get pissed.

You don't have to give your Harley a ring in order to get a ride! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL IT YOU LOVE IT!

You can always tell if your Harley is turned on or not.

It's ok to store disassembled pieces of your Harley in your basement. (Submitted by Mad Dan)

You and a friend can ride a Harley at the same time (in public even) and it won't get mad if the pics end up on the internet!!!

Your Harley doesn't mind living in the garage.

Big and/or fat is a GOOD thing
you can stare at other harleys with out getting slapped by yours or refused a ride

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

JUST TOO CUTE.

This is the cleanest E-mail joke I've come across in a long while!



A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.



Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

To funny LMAO!!!! Cheers to you for sharing this...thanks I needed a good laugh.

I wake up to the sun a new day has begun! The sun is shining so bright just like the light of Jesus Christ.

I'm thankful for each new day & the spirit of Jesus Christ in my heart to show me the way.

I'm thankful for my ears to hear each sound, it gives me the comfort knowing Jesus is all around.

I'm thankful for my eyes to see all of Gods creatures around me that gives me the inner strength to always try & succeed as my life is planted with many of God's seeds.

I'm thankful for my legs & arms that help protect me from harm & carry me one place after another to be there for a sister or a brother to give a hug or a helping hand to know they're not alone on this land.

I'm thankful for my smile that can cheer a person up when they're feeling sad & again make them feel glad even if it's only for a little while.

Written By,

Lisa/AKA Prtyeyes

10/16/04

I thank God up above for sending me many friends that give me so much love. They give me the comfort & peace that reminds me of a white dove.

If I'm upset & shedding tears, my friends are there showing me how much they care. Even though they are so far away, in my heart I feel they're are so near.

I'm blessed to have met so many friends on the internet. I know it was God's spirit that sent you all to me & the same spirit that gave me the light to see, that also let my inner pain go free.

You're more then just friends to me, through God you're my sister's & brother's. I thank Him for all the love & peace that He gave us to share with others.

Written By,

Lisa AKA Prtyeyes

9-12-04

A Southerner is having his breakfast of coffee,
grits, biscuits and jam,
>when a Northerner, chewing obnoxiously on bubble
gum, sits down next to
>him. The Southerner ignores the Northerner who,
nevertheless, starts a
>conversation.
>
>Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread,
do you eat the whole
>slice?"
>
>Southerner: "Yep."
>
>Northerner: (After blowing a huge bubble) "We
don't. Up North, we only
>eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a
container, recycle it,
>then transform them into biscuits and send them
to the South."
>
>The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The
Southerner listens in
>silence. The Northerner persists: "Do you eat
jam with biscuits?"
>
>Southerner: "Yep."
>
>Northerner: (Cracking and smacking his gum
between his teeth and
>chuckling) "We don't. Up North, after we eat
fruit for breakfast, we put
>all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in
containers, recycle them,
>transform them into jam, and then send it down
South."
>
>Then the Southerner asks, "Y'all have sex up
North?"
>
>Northerner: "Why, of course, we do." And he pops
another big bubble.
>
>Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the
condoms once ya use 'em?"
>
>Northerner: "We throw them away, of course."
>
>Southerner: "We don't. Down South, we put 'em in
a jar, melt 'em down
>into bubble gum, and sell 'em to Yankees."

Thank you Happy Easter to you and all!!! "cheers"

Thank you..Happy Easter to you and all!!! "Cheers"!!!!

We play hide and seek you have to seek to find.......

I can't stand it here in the South when a southern man introduces you as his ol lady if he's in a relationship with her.

I'm single because I've been looking for that man who wants to take the time to get to know me and not concentrate on doing what he has to do to convince me to sleep with him on the first night. Also, to accept me for who I am now including my weight and not try to change me. I went on a date last weekend and I told him that I just recently went back on my diet because I've gained a few pounds that I'm not happy having however he didn't need to add that yes, you could lose a few pounds....ya smart man, no wonder he is single!!!

Granted I don't want to be a plus size woman but a 7 junior is a nice size for me...with lots of curves!!!

What is it with men always wanting petite slim trim ladies...don't they know that the woman with love handles are squeezable? I'm not attractive to skinny men at all..nothing like a man slipping through your arms...I want to feel something I can squeeze!!!!

Happy Birthday girl!!! Don't feel bad I spent my 40th Birthday at work then home alone. Just turned 40 March 8th.

A toast for your Birthday!!! We'll party with you here online A dozen roses for your birthday!!!

I've moved to North Carolina in 98 from Indiana but was born and raised in Ohio. I love the mild winters here and luckily I haven't had any experiences with feeling of hurricanes yet.

I'm only mean if a man provokes me especially at pms time since I've found out I have PMDD!! However, I'm on medication to balance my hormones out. However, doesn't mean a man should still provoke me!!

I've dated a few guys in my area but all they want is for you to jump in the sack the first night. Obviously they don't get it and then they want to see you again well I'm sorry that is a big turn off for me because I feel they are interested in one thing only and not wanting to know me.

I hope you & your family have a wonderful and happy Easter!! Remember that Jesus gave his life for our sins.

You're very welcome BluLuvly. I find expressing myself through poetry writing helps to calm my inner soul and feelings. I guess it's my way of therapy for myself and sometimes it helps others too.

Yes, I've had a few dates but they want me to go to bed with them on the first night. Don't get me wrong I like to have intimacy too but developing a friendship must come first. It seems that it's all about sex and not wants in that person's heart. What happen to the values of respect for a woman in the 20's. 30's 40's , 50's and 60's days? Where the man would pick up a lady at her doorstep, bring her flowers, take her out to dinner, the movies or a dance and then bring her home with just a kiss on her cheek.
All I can say is times have changed & it's so hard to find a true gentleman these days.