Your mama is so fat that when she puts on a red jump
suit all the kids come running saying hey coolaid!!!!

Your mama is so fat she puts her belt on with a boomarang!!

Are you sure it was not an alter boy with man boobs.

Your mama's so fat she puts her belt on with a boomarang!!

Well lets see Tommy Lee and Kid Rock
batting a 1000 there.

SO are you a good girl or a bad girl?

IT WAS A HIGHWAY BRIDGE I GUESS

THERE WERE 2 GUYS FISHING ON THE KY SIDE OF THE
OHIO RIVER. THEY LOKED OVER AND SAW A GUY FISHING
ON THE OHIO SIDE AND JUST REELING THEM IN LEFT AND
RIGHT. OLD LEROY SAID TO BILLY BOB WATCH THIS AND HE YELLED
OUT TO THE GUY HEY WHATS YOUR NAME. THE GUY SAID
CLEARANCE WHY LEROY SAID IF YOU DON'T STOP CATCHING ALL THOSE FISH I'AM GOING COME OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS.
CLEARANCE SAID COME ON OVER. LEROY JUMPED UP AND RAN DOWN THE
RIVER TO THE BRIDGE AND TURNED AROUND WENT BACK TO SIT NEXT TO
BILLY BOB. BILLY SAID I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING OVER THERE
TO KICK CLEARANCES ASS. LEROY SAID I WAS TILL I GOT TO THE BRIDGE AND THE SIGN ON THE BRIDGE SAID CLEARANCE 9' 11".

SHE'S NOT GODS MOM BUT OK

IN HELL ITS 666

THIS TRUCKER HAD BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR A SOLID MONTH. WHEN
HE GOT HOME HIS WIFE HAD A WONDERFUL SUPPER ON THE TABLE.
IT WAS THE BEST FOOD HE HAD TASTED IN A LONG WHILE. THEN WHEN
HE FINISHED SHE TOLD HIM TO GO RELAX IN FRONT OF THE TV IN HIS RECLINER IT WAS NICE TO BE HOME AND NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT
ANYTHING. SHE TOOK OFF HIS BOOTS RUBBED HIS FEET TO RELAX HIM.

THEN SHE TOLD HIM TO GO ON UP STAIRS AND TAKE A NICE HOT BATH
THAT SHE HAD DRAWN FOR HIM. HE SETTLED IN TO THAT TUB TURNED
THE JETS ON AND JUST FELT GREAT. WHEN HE WAS READY TO GET OUT
SHE WAS WAITING ON HIM WITH A WARM TOWEL AND HIS ROBE.
THEN SHE LEAD HIM INTO THE BED ROOM TOLD HIM TO GO A HEAD AND
GET CONFORTABLE SHE WOULD BE IN SOON. BY THIS TIME HE WAS JUST
REALLY GLAD TO BE HOME. HE KIND OF FELL OFF TO SLEEP AND THEN
HIS WIFE SLIPPED INTO BED AND WHISPERED IN HIS EAR. "I AIN'T
GOT NO PANTYS ON!" THE TRUCKER TURN TO HER AND SAID" SHUT UP
STUPID!!"

THIS WAS A TRUCKER FUNNY IF YOU DON'T GET IT.

RICH

MRy don't that I'm ready to marry maybe a date first

I THINK THIS WORKS IN REVERSE FOR A WOMAN

RICH

A MAN AND A WOMAN HAD AN ACCIDENT IN WITCH NEITHER WERE
INJURED. THE MAN SAID "ARE YOU OK TOTHE WOMAN?" SHE SAID
"I AM FINE SORRY I HIT YOUR CAR BUT I DID FIND A BOTTLE
OF WINE THAT SURVIVED WOULD YOU LIKE SOME." THE GUY THOUGHT
WHAT THE HECK AND SHE HANDED HIM THE BOTTLE. HE TOOK A BIG
DRINK AND OFFERED IT BACK TO THE WOMAN. SHE PUT THE CORK BACK IN AND SAID "I THINK I'LL WAIT THE THE POLICE GET HERE."

so thats how they do that

The one who dies with all the toys wins

THIS GUY I KNOW HAS SUCH BAD LUCK AT EVERYTHING.
I TOLD HIM IF IT WAS RAINING P***Y HE WOULD GET
HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A D**K

SANTA ARIVED AT HIS NEXT HOUSE AND AS USUAL HE SLID DOWN
THE CHIMMNEY. SANTA TUNED AROUD AND THERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF
HIM WAS THIS REALLY GOOD LOOKING WOMAN. SHE WAS DRESSED IN A
SEE THORUGH NIGHT GOWN. SHE SAID " OH SANTA WILL YOU PLEASE
STAY." SANTA SAID " HO HO HO GOT TO GO, GOT TO GO I HAVE TO DELIVER THESE PRESENTS DON'T YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU KNOW.
DETERMINED TO KEEP HIM THERE SHE TOOK OFF HER NIGHT GOWN
AND SAID " OH SANTA WILL YOU PLEASE STAY." SANTAS REPLY WAS
"HO HAY HO HAY GOT TO STAY GOT TO STAY I CAN'T GET UP THE
CHIMMNEY WITH MY D*** THIS WAY."

A guy was speeding down the highway and passed a
cop. The cop was new to the force and he pulled this
guy over. The cop came to the window and ask for his id and
registration.
As the rookie was looking everything over the guy said"
I hope your not going to look in my truck because my
wife is in there I killed her and I'm going to
dump the body." then he said "I hope you don't look in
my glove box because thats were the gun is that I killed my wife with."
The Rookie cop said " I think that I need to get my
sargent down here don't you move" as he pulled his gun out.

The sargent came to the site and looked in the trunk
there was no body he looked in the glove box and there
was no gun. So he ask the guy were they were he said "I
dont know what you are talking about and i suppose that lyar
told you that I was speeding to.

I thought he was on his way out to the
car to get his comdoms that were in the glove box.