I feel sad, betrayed, abused, manipulated. I'm in a slump and I can't get out of this one alone.

I need to re-evaluate my "friend" situation.

Someone say something funny. I need it.

I was baptized at a young age into the Mormon church. I have no immediate family members (that I know of) who are gay. I decided to not have a part in the church for different (but related) reasons. My parents weren't active in the church, but all of my aunts and uncles are, even now, they tell me that while I "think" that I'm happy, I'm really just in denial. My disinterest in having conversations (read-- "arguing") with them, is proof (in their eyes) that I have guilt over my decision to not be a part of the church.

I have a cousin who has a history of lying. She's kind of the "girl who cried wolf" type of situation. No one wants to now believe that her current husband is physically abusive toward her and that is her reason for wanting a divorce. She's also started to drift from the church and her parents have resented her for it.

As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter if she's lying. If it is a lie, then that is something that she'll have to live with, but I'll be there for her and help her/encourage her to leave him, because if she IS telling the truth, I don't want to find out by reading about it in the paper.

Just my two cents...

No more nightlights? Whaaaaa!?!

Just kidding... She'd be proud and very excited. I've made mistakes, but I've grown stronger and wiser by making them. I have no regrets at all, and I think that I've grown into a pretty awesome 29 year old!

I used to be the wallflower who everyone teased. I was shy and insecure. I was afraid of solitude (and as an only child, it really is something you can't escape).

I've turned into someone who makes the jokes before anyone else gets the chance. I make people laugh and love every second. I did the military thing for a while, got a great job after my (honorable) discharge because of that experience, and now I have a bright, beautiful daughter who I can't get enough of.

Hell, I went from a suburban city in Utah to living a stone's throw from the Pacific Ocean. Who would complain?! I love my life.

I was told very recently that I look like Olivia Wilde (I don't see it), but that was only once. And he was drunk.

I have also been told that I look like Neve Campbell, Alyssa Milano, or Lynda Carter.

To me, all of these women look completely different, and I don't think that I resemble ANY of them.

The most UNFLATTERING comparison was when I was compared to Neve's castmate on "The Craft": Fairuza Balk. Eesh!

If people don't know me, they think I'm much younger than I am. Seeing as I don't tend to have much interest in younger men, this isn't always a positive thing. A few weeks ago, in Las Vegas with some girlfriends, a couple of guys guessed my age starting at 23.

Once a person gets talking to me, they typically up the guess on the age and put me at five or so years older than I really am.

BTW-- it's not necessarily a compliment, when at 29 I'm being told that I look good "for my age."

Wait-- Huh!?!

Sounds like the perfect catch... unless... he disallows his other half to have some time away. We all need it, regardless of how good the relationship is. Alone time is not overrated.

Also... I've been with guys that fit most of the above pretty well. What they lacked (and I would have traded a heap of the above for) is a backbone. Don't let my occasional moodiness cause you to be all apologetic if you don't need to be. Stand up for yourself. This is a HUGE asset. At least for me it is... but I tend to be a bit aggressive and can easily intimidate the insecure man.

Bottom line, we don't want a puppy. We want those strong arms around us and the feeling that he'd do anything to protect us and our family. The rest is just icing.

This seems more like a critical thinking discussion than a male vs. female-type discussion.

I'm a very critical thinker, and tend to align more with the men in that I'm less emotional and more adept at stepping back and seeing a problem from all angles. True, that many women tend to be more emotional. We can't help it. We are nurturers by nature. We care and have concern over an outcome. We measure success by how we feel and less by what we can show.

I think if the original poster's female advice stemmed from those of varying societal and professional backgrounds, we'd have a reason to make this a male vs. female discussion. But these women are probably even more sensitive to their nurturer roles than others might be. They may have the general motto of "help, at all cost."

Men are much too selfish for that (in only the nicest ways). Honestly, I'm sort of the same way. I'll help as much as I can, but if I am sacrificing more than I have available to sacrifice, it has to end.

So... it's not that I disagree entirely with the conclusion here, I just disagree with how it's based.

Done... but I need friends for this? Eeesh! The effort...

I sooo got this: I'm all four (in some manner of speaking...)



You didn't say how well, so yes, I help out at home, cook AND clean.



You'll be laughing when you taste my cooking! My job allows me to be financially independant and live on the beach. Does anything else really matter? Didn't think so.



I hate liars; I'm honest to a fault. Ask me anything (or... actually... please don't)



Can't really judge myself, and gathering a jury to come to the conclusion on my bedroom skills would be embarrassing. I'm nearing my thirties. Suffice it to say my drive is about equal with a 21 year old male. And growing.

Haha! My landlord (female) found herself a model/actor/chef husband. Sign me up for one of those and I'll be wife of the year! (kidding-- I'm not wife of the year material, but *I'D* be happy!)

Rrrrrrrrr...

It's the hispanic side of me... what can I say, I have a talented tongue.

Way to take the fun out of it...

Smile. You don't look happy in any of those pictures. People want to engage with people who look like they'd be fun to talk to... you just look very serious, and no offense here, but a little depressed. Good luck!

Well said, Krupa.

We want a nice guy who isn't also too afraid to speak up when something isn't right. A nice guy with a backbone.

Is it at all possible that the word 'justification' is being over simplified?

Justification is the why. It could be grounded in logic, theology, cultural norms, etc.

I also think that "truth" and "fact" have different meanings. I'll bring in the bible as an example. It holds a place of truth for a lot of people-- it explains things for them which satisifies their need for, well, justification, and to them, this is irrefutable. Fact, on the other hand rests on widely known/proven accuracies. "Truths" can be debatable among different people, but fact is generally not up for debate. It's solid. Or I guess I can go so far as to say that truth is private, fact is public. (<---see how I stay on topic here )

Whether or not justification is a personal or public matter depends on who is affected... For example, I am personally justified (accountable to me) when I decide that I will not clean the house today like I need to. My justification and whether any one else agrees matters not. It's personal justification.

Justification becomes a public matter when other people are affected by its outcome. Hilter orchestrated the slaughter of thousands of people, therefore his personal justification is irrelevent. It becomes a public matter.

No... they do not. I thank them for the date (if they paid for the meal, for example), and that's it. No second dates... I mean, what's to expect from a second date if you can't keep your hands to yourself on the first!?

The joining a club suggestion is a good one, but I have so little time for that. I have a seven year old and despise the thought of paying any more than I already have to for child care. The most obvious suggestion is that I could meet another single-parent in the area, but there seems to be a shortage of single dads in my area. hmmm...

Yep... you got it.

I live about three miles from this place. A close friend lives about a block away. I saw this on the news and knew her son would be walking home from school around this time, so I alerted her to the news. I'm just glad that they got the guy. Would have been so scary to think that he could still be in the area.

Horrible that he had to do that to those people. I had heard from a friend that he was angry over custody issues. Good job. Now, they don't have a father OR mother... and potentially a handful of other children are left without one of their parents.

So sad.

Relationship wise, they're about as useful as a right hand. Agreed.

So... I take it you all aren't "boob guys" eh?