I thought everyone would get a chuckle out of this.

How to turn men down - with style!
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer.. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

I bite those retorts back all the time...lol

I guess I am suppose to let them out and be stylish huh?

way to funny.

You are a lady with style whether you say those retorts or not.

all you have to do to run a guy away at a bar is fart loud enough that he can hear it came from you.... lmao.......

Women are usually nice to me. But i dont take many home o.O if i heard those words i'd probably curse the ***** out :P

I just flex my muscles and the men run away.

haha... These are GREAT!

There is always what I use a lot on the unwanted phone calls... and I mean no disrespect to religious peeps... but... "Have you found GOD?" lol

Ouch! How to course on " Shot down in flames!!!!!"

very formulaic... they were the same joke, over and over.
There are really only 6 jokes, or formulas.

True.

Way to take the fun out of it...

I think I have used some of those

OOOOOH dat smarts.

way to go



maybe we can add this one:


He: What do you want?

She: You can vacuum my house if you want



He: Can I drive you home?

She: Sure, I'll meet you at your car in five minutes... if I'm late just start without me.

Oh lighten up; its all meant as fun which is why this post is the joke threads.

I like them; they are great!!

Here's one:

He: You look familiar

She: Ohhhhhhh! I think you're my son's father - I need to talk to you!