If it's true that eyes can not process the images that we see very quickly, and what our brains don't necessarily understand or can't register, it 'fills in' for, then perhaps you don't consciously recall glancing up and seeing that truck coming toward you, but subconsciously, some part of your brain DID receive that image.

I'm thinking of deja vu here. When you feel very strongly that you've experienced an event previously, so much so that you feel you can predict the outcome, but in reality, you could just be "remembering" a dream that had stayed in your subconscious... or even creating it... a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, sts. Something can trigger the connection TO your conscious mind, but we are too simple to understand how or why.

Since you didn't 'consciously' see the threat, you wouldn't necessarily have felt fear or adrenaline, but it maybe could have been potentially 'traumatic' (even if not a registered/conscious trauma) that a part of you was compelled to act.

Our minds are really incredible. When my mother was in a motorcycle accident and was thrown off her bike into the median where she suffered a compound fracture to her femur, she was/seemed completely alert. In reality (of course) she was in shock. She has no memory of the event to this day. Her brain has locked it up because it was just too traumatic a memory (or so this is what I've read about traumatic events being repressed). I realize that this isn't quiet relevant to your situation, but I think it might be somehow related?

I second that one.

Hm. The tiny bit that I know about NJ leads me to believe that anyone who lives there and is not psychotic should escape. Soon.

Actually, I just dropped a friend off at the airport this evening on his way back to NJ, where he grew up. He's absolutely one of the nicest guys I've ever met... and (sorry for beating a dead horse here)... I have never ONCE heard him call himself "nice."

Ooohh... I found my new favorite forum. So I know I'm a newbie here, but I'd like to weigh in on a few things that I've been reading:

My understanding (without doing any real research at this moment to verify)-- Time is derived from the solar system and, more specifically, the rate and movement of Earth around the Sun, then broken down into smaller fragments. The speed of light is more a reference to distance than time (a light year is the <i>distance</i> traveled by light in one calendar year (aka one rotation of the earth around the sun).

Human perspective and understanding of time can be warped by certain circumstances. Our eyes compensate because we can't receive visual information as quickly as we'd like to, so our brain 'fills in' the gaps. It's the reason why when you glance quickly at a clock, the second hand sort of seems to hover there a bit longer than we think it should. Your brain is 'filling in' and assuming that the second hand must have been there previously, since it is there (after your eye as received the image-- or rather the LIGHT from the image -- and your brain has had time to process it) "now." I stumbled on a very interesting website that I nerded out to with my daughter one day.

I also know that smaller animals may experience a different perception of time than larger animals (like humans) do. I can't remember the exact reasoning behind it, but it was correlated (maybe not related) to heart rate (the smaller the animal, the more rapid the heart rate). If you apply this to events that are stressful and raise your adrenaline levels (which raises your heart rate), then it's makes some sense that your perception of time will be altered.

The idea behind time travel, is that <i>if</i> you could, say, run faster than the speed at which light travels, the light (aka 'images' received by the eye and processed by the brain) would be old (something you could have already experienced).

Effort? Judgment? Unless it's part of your profession, judgment stems from ignorance and typically doesn't involve effort.

Also-- my experience has been that most guys don't have to defend their "niceness" so aggressively. I've said it before, but a real "nice guy" doesn't go around telling everyone that he is a nice guy. He just <i>is</i>.

I definitely appreciate that honesty! And the car metaphor...

I know, I know... I'm late to the game, but I've been dying to weigh in here... but I was just too busy. Until now.

So a girl is guaranteed a response if we show cleavage? This is EARTH-Shattering news! Will that work in a bar, too??

LADIES! You heard it here, men are visual creatures and care not for content or personality... just a nice set of jugs (preferably uncensored by bothersome clothing).

C'mon now. Most, if not all of your posts are not earth-shattering or insightful in the least. We women know (or at least I think we do), that we probably have an easier time at garnering attention then men, AND that men are more vocal about their interest in us. The problem, is that while they all try to feign the "I'm a nice guy" routine, we have to be incredibly careful and try to read through the BS (and there's a lot of BS). Unfortunately, some men, even the nice ones, won't pass our gut test. If we don't feel a good gut feeling about you, we aren't going to test it out when we are MORE vulnerable in a physical setting. Truth is (in most cases) men are stronger and at 5'1", I'm easily overpowered. It would be highly dangerous (and mighty stupid) of me to accept every invite on a date that I get. I may be turning down wonderful guys, yes, but I have to be careful...

BTW-- I've met a lot of guys who play the 'nice guy' card. Very few actually ARE nice guys. Telling us won't convince us that you're nice. You want more responses when you send emails? Put some thought into your email. Make it stand out. I get a ton of "hi." emails. It's literally all the message says. I'm really supposed to respond to all of them? I have better things to do. If you are interested enough to put together a thoughtful email, then I'll make time to respond.

Stepping down off of the soapbox now. Thanks.

I'll give you that one. You're absolutely right. I shouldn't complain? The grass is always greener situation, I suppose...

My confession is this: I get a little irked when I suddenly realize that someone who has met me and goes out with me gets really clingy, really fast... because they are attracted to something superficial. I kind of would rather them adore me for more objective reasons.

Ooohh... but that's something else I've been openly accused of from close friends: I'm sooo not in tune with my emotional side. Therefore, there tends to be an imbalance when someone comes along who is.

haha... These are GREAT!

I have friends... I guess you make a valid point though. I have friends, I want to date, but I just want things to move a bit slower. Uh... no... scratch that... A LOT slower. I like a guy to be my friend first... then more.

Dating inherently presumes that the meeting leads immediately to romance... and I'm just not ok with that.

Depends on the venue. I'll go to dinner alone, no problem. I'll probably forgo movies/concerts alone though. I like having people with me, but can appreciate my alone time as well...

I'm in. Let's go.

haha... he's wonderful. I adore him. BUT-- he assures me that there is nothing there. He's leaving (at some point) so won't commit. He has a son on the east coast, so he'll be leaving me one day, and is decidedly NOT my boyfriend. But he happens to be one of the most well-known guys in my neighborhood. His friends are off limits, of course... so I need to look elsewhere.

Easier said than done, I'm afraid. I have a rule against dating guys at work... and I am friends (strictly platonic) with most in my neighborhood (I currently have an interesting 'relationship' with one, so every single one of his friends... and that's a lot of people... are off limits).

I don't know where else to meet people besides dating sites... and then...

...refer to post no. 1.

Honestly. I hate that when I go on a date with a guy, he's looking for the girl he's going to 'hook up with' and I'm looking for the guy that I get to laugh and chill with.

Keep your hand off my leg and don't try to sleep with me on the first date... or within the first few dates. Lets make sure that we're actually compatible as friends first, yes?

It's the reason I hate dating. I want to meet people. People. Friends.

Thanks Hans.

I am actually very happy in general. My life is full and I can't say that I'd change a single thing, given the opportunity. My question was initially posed as a "hey this is new... and I have some concerns... I need some input" type of thing. I know for a fact that the stepmother and I share some different perspectives. I can appreciate/respect that. Her and I are polar opposites. On everything from personality to religion (and I assume politics, etc). She's submissive and very old-fashioned. Very into trends and femininity... I'm more into independence, promoting strength and intellect over relying on outward appearance. I despise the idea of children wearing makeup. I think that even nail polish on a young little girl sends the wrong message to her.

So, the issue that I'm having (if you can call it that), is that there is this new influence in my baby's life, and that influence is entirely out of my control.

I have no ill-will toward this woman at all. I just don't have the personality that cares at all for holding grudges. It gives people too much power. Anyways, she hasn't done anything necessarily bad or incriminating. She seems to be a very nice lady. If I had to be upset about the events at the wedding, then I'd have to say that it was my ex's lack of planning in that he (a) knew I was coming; (b) knew that there would be no one else for me to contact EXCEPT for him; (c) and didn't arrange to have someone (an event planner/staffer) to assist when I arrived so I wouldn't have had to walk in to the reception...

I hope that in the end, my daughter will be strengthened by the diverse set of adults that she has to use as role models.

This is interesting (and a new perspective is very appreciated)... While you say that you were offended that the mother took charge while at your home, I would honestly say that I would probably behave in the same way that she did. She took charge of her son. Her son. I think it would have been irresponsible of her to play subordinate to you because she was in your home. I don't feel that her actions/words were intended to imply any negativity or judgement against you. But this is only my impression from the short description you give of the event. Had I entered into the home of my ex and his wife to pick up my daughter, I'd immediately take charge of her.

It's possible that I'm not understanding fully, but I'm imagining the scenario in my head, and I could definitely see myself (especially if we weren't heading straight home, for example), "sweetheart go wash your face and brush your hair before we leave..." type of thing. While my ex and his wife does have primacy over their home (of course), I still think I should have primacy (parenting wise) over my daughter (vs. the stepmom; not necessarily my ex). Regardless of what household she is in.

I like reading these... good responses!

I think that people love my genuine, down-to-earthiness... and my sarcasm (those that don't get offended but can laugh, that is). I'm also incredibly loyal as a friend, and good about walking away from bad / mean people instead of letting it get to me or hurt me.

I also think they like to tease me because I'm petite and I can handle myself well against the friendly (but sometimes a little brutal) jabs.

Forget what you want in a mate. What are the traits that you have that members of the opposite sex are going to be wow'ed by?

I was recently asked this question. I was stumped.

Well, Lex, I personally know of two women (one is married, the other is engaged) who have made a personal choice never to have kids. One of them, I'm confident will stick with that, the other, is young. She's young and her body (and hormones... etc) will change. Her personality seems naive and I think it's highly reasonable that she may change her mind later on down the road. Which is going to be a problem with the young ones... seeing if they are mature enough to make a decision that they are truly going to stick with.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I think things like that are driven by culture (and yes, you've already mentioned this), but I don't think that many level-headed, young, childless women will be on a dating site. They're probably very active, consumed with hobbies, traveling, etc, and are probably the most UNDER represented group on dating sites. I like the idea of you traveling and researching this whole childless mindset and how culture influences/drives/inhibits such things. Who knows, it's probably how you'll meet someone incredible.

For me, I could care less about most things anymore. I don't think my personality is compatible with too many people (I'm pretty sarcastic and require whomever I'm with to carry with them an armor of 'thick skin') I would just like to find someone with two IQ points to rub together, and can form a coherent sentence. This whole dating thing is turning me into a cynic. Not good. Not taking this all too seriously anymore, lol.