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Community > Posts By > WHACKEEEONE
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Topic:
Cut out sex
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An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life they should cut out sex.
He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation. One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said, "I was coming up to die." She laughed and replied, "I was coming down to kill you!" |
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Topic:
Not just for sex anymore :)
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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces." The doctor said, "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."  
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Topic:
Birthday Present
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A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear - everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size." |
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Topic:
Please Pray
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will do, prayer is a powerful tool Yes it is......Ty soooo much 
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Topic:
Please Pray
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Prayers sent and god bless Ty...means a lot. hugs
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Topic:
Please Pray
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 Ahhhhhhh, WOW,,THATS a very hard hit to be going through..I so sorry for your pain and thoughts going through right now... If you need a friend, just email me and I will lend you an ear to vent or to talk,,whatever... I know ANY loss,,,HURTS everything about who you are...T Ty....big hugs
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Topic:
Please Pray
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They are all in my prayers tonight and always. Hope you feel better soon. Ty and hugs
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Topic:
Please Pray
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prayers from me to yall Ty so much....hugs
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Topic:
Please Pray
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Hugs and prayers from biker. Thank you so much!!
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Topic:
Please Pray
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As a person who's recently lost his grandmother due to pulmonary fibrosis, I know about the grief and pain it can cause. I hope you and your family pull through your crisis in good shape.  Ty very much
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Topic:
Please Pray
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Wow.....TY ALL for the responses. It's hard to reply to everyone so I Thank You All Soooooooooo Verrrrryyyyyy Much.
Warms My Heart!!!
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Topic:
Please Pray
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Prayers and angels to you and your family ty very much
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Topic:
Please Pray
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Pam Jeannie, Howard, and Dorothy are in my thoughts and prayers, as are you. Take care of yourself, sweetie. Debbie ty......hugs
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Topic:
Please Pray
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AWW Of course! TY SO MUCH
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Topic:
Please Pray
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I don't mean to be a downer.....but..............
Please pray for my Grandmother, Father, and Mother. My Grandmother was put under Hospice care on Monday the 7th and has a very short time left. Jeannie is her name. My Father has prostate cancer and emphysema and a very short time left. Howard is his name. My Mother has had 5 strokes over a 3 year period and her health is deteriorating rapidly. Dorothy is her name. All three have gotten worse in the past 2 weeks. Please pull together and pray. Thank you and God Bless hugs......Pam |
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Topic:
MORNING SEX
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Great one....lmao
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Topic:
Whew....
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Welcome back.
Hey.......Dial Up is better than No Up.....lol It's better than nothing  
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Topic:
Newlyweds
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Good one....lmao
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Topic:
The Greatest Hitter
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A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike one!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed. "Strike two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike three!" "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!" |
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Topic:
Supernatural Powers
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A woman went to the local psychic in the hope of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering and she begins moaning. Eventually, a voice comes, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" The granddaughter, wide-eyed responds, "Grandma? Is that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me." "It's really you, Grandma?" the woman repeats. "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman pauses a moment, "Grandma, I have just one question for you." "Anything, my child." "When did you learn to speak English?" |
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