Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Nebraska rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.

I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn.

You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" So then the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple. By the nail over its stall," Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says,

"I guess it's to hang your pants on."

Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of
her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to
get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know
anyone.

Her daughter immediately replies: "Mom, I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for
six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills.

Their first night there, she undresses as he does. There she stood nude
except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit.

Looking at her he asks: "Why the black panties?

She replies: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but
down there I am still in mourning."

He knows he's not getting lucky that night...

The following night the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit ...

except that he is wearing a black condom.

She looks at him and asks: "What's with this black condom?"

He replies: "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

You're welcome
Couldn't leave you guys hanging. Because we all went crazy with the wet hat

The answer to his last one is Tomorrow I googled it after no answer from him for so long on this thread one does what one has to do to not lose ones mind

And since I gave you guys a riddle and then Cooly said not to do any others on his thread I never did give you an answer. So I shall give you one now

The riddle was

There once was a strange man who loved wordplay.
He had a very successful business that would take
insect shipments from all across the world and
distribute them to zoos all across the US.

What's the name of his business?

The answer is Important

Thanks that was funny

I hate when people do this one where I live when there is a blizzard. You can't see the line in the road let alone cars coming in other direction till they are like almost in front of you. But you will have someone passing 6 cars just to speed on home.
Funniest thing is when one passed and two mins. later saw them stuck in snow bank on side of the road.

Otherwise

And Cooly isn't here to answer

There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake.

A fish in the lake thinks, "If that fy dropped 6 inches I'd get it!"

A bear on land thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water, and I'd get it!"

A hunter thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear will go to get the fish, and I'll shoot the bear!"

A mouse thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, and I'll steal the cheese off his sandwich!"

A cat thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, the mouse will go get the cheese, and I'll get that mouse!"

Suddenly it all happened,
The fly dropped 6 inches, the fish got the fly, the bear got the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the hunter's cheese, but the cat missed the mouse and fell in the water!!!!!

The Moral Of This Story Is ...

Every time a fly drops 6 inches, a ***** gets wet

Judge: Look here Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie.

Mickey (stunned): Why not?

Judge: I have reviewed all the information you gave the court, but i can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy.

Mickey (exasperated): Your honor! I didn't say she was crazy...
I said she was ****ing Goofy!

Awww I guess it makes me one
Have a fridge in garage. But mainly use it for the soda and freezer space. Why the heck do they make freezers so darn small

The Cat In The Hat On Aging

I can not see
I can not pee
I can not chew
I can not screw
Oh my god, what can I do?

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad can you tell?

My bodies drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my ass

Nope
Good guesses so far

Love it thanks

Well since this isn't the 90's anymore Cooly this whole post is rubbish and going in the trash.

Nope that isn't the answer to mine but for trying

Well I have a new one for you to answer Cooly. As I gave up on yours

LauraJ Good job.
Try this one

There once was a strange man who loved wordplay.
He had a very successful business that would take
insect shipments from all across the world and
distribute them to zoos all across the US.

What's the name of his business?

Awww Cooly dosnt wanna answer mine