Community > Posts By > lilbug

 
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Mon 01/16/12 09:57 AM





I have just had a good friend, a man, tell me why I'll probably always be overlooked. I don't think he meant to hurt me, but maybe the truth hurts.

He told me that I am so nice that men think of me more as a "mom" or "sister" figure. I am someone they will feel comfortable in going to for advice, and to rant a bit about some girl.

It seems that I fit into the friend when needed catagory. You know, invisable until they need advice, or a kind word or two. He then made it worse by telling me that I am kind of pretty but that since I am not what guys think is sexy, they pass me by.


WOW. So now I know. I guess it's a good thing I'm not looking...


That's part of the problem, men and women seeking partners based on their sex appeal and all too often end up discovering they weren't much of a partner outside of the bedroom. Sex is the easy part. What's hard is stickin' around for the tough stuff...that's when you separate substance from BS.

You are adorable, a real a doll and a lot men find cute sexy as heck. You're friend is absolutely wrong. It may be how he feels, but I guarantee he doesn't speak for all men.


Wise words Lilbug about what you said to Machug said about her friend. Its interesting how others, especially our friends see us. I wear a sci fi costumes; and I am a playful nerd. I wear my fitness outfits and I am seen as a fitness nut. I wear my dress and I am seen as a girly girl. I wear my uniform and I am seen as disciplined military person. So, all my friends see a different side of me and of course everyone will have a different opinion of me. I would think the same of strangers as not everyone will see the same things in you. Am I making any sense or just rambling? laugh


Ha! Yep, perfect sense!

I'll tell ya somethin else.....just 'cause folks don't wear their sexuality all up in your face doesn't mean they ain't got it goin' on. That's another thing folks do, place too much emphasis on the packaging, when some of those plain wrapper folks will rock your world...know what I'm sayin ;)


That is so true. A friend of mine who is just an average looking, balding man has the most fantastic charisma I have ever seen. He just wears blue jeans and a t-shirt; and captures the attention of every woman in a room. Funny thing is he was completely unaware of it.


That's even better!

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Mon 01/16/12 09:56 AM

nO fun at all :cry:


Open up your front door...it's all out there waiting for you!!

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Mon 01/16/12 09:55 AM

What an extraordinary day...Just got engaged to be married in cyberspace.

I believe we are the first couple to do that.:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: drinker :heart: drinker drinker drinker


Congratulations!

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Mon 01/16/12 09:54 AM



Let's see......Today I watched football, played Enemy Territory, talked to a few customers, replied to an email or two and at one point briefly put on pants for a quick trip to the store. Sounds like a pretty good day to me!


you talked to customers without pants?


Doesn't everybody? what


slaphead happy

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Mon 01/16/12 09:53 AM

yes I had a lot of fun - me & the kid went scrounging for 2nd hand cds & ps3 games - then we took in some new warehouse art - there's a bunch of new awesome stuff there

then we went for a walk & got something to eat

he didn't like the restaurant so that was too bad, but we had a long talk & a long drive after that. He got a 102 on his Physics 2 test and the next highest score in the class was a 65. so that's cool. He's mad cuz he got stuck in Pre Cal instead of calculus. but he's getting all As so we had a good talk

I remembered to lecture him about not losing his brother's hat & to tell him I love him

all in all a good day


Sounds like you and your son have a pretty tight relationship!

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Mon 01/16/12 09:53 AM

That sounds like so much fun. My two kids enjoy going to McDonald's to play with other children. The hardest part is dragging them home to go home. Resulting in a fight and a test of will between me and the kids. frustrated


Yep! It was so pretty and so much fun, even I had hard time coming home!

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Sun 01/15/12 04:46 PM
What beautiful day! Me and two of my girlfriends, a 5-year-old and 7-year-old, went to McDonald's and got Happy Meals, and went to the park and ate our lunches. Then, we rode on the merry go round, pushed each other on the swings and slid down the slides....well....I didn't go down the one called the 'Tornado'...it was too high! scared I was put to shame by a little 4-year-old boy there who went up and down that ladder fearlessly!

Then we walked well, I walked, they ran, to other side of the park where we climbed the jungle gum, rode the teeter-totter and rode the purple dinosaur! We made two new friends, Scooter and Lucky, a black and a golden lab who came to play at the park too. We built sand castles in the sand! Got dirt under my nails and the seat of my britches dirty, and lost my gloves! What a great day!:banana:

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Sun 01/15/12 04:35 PM
Edited by lilbug on Sun 01/15/12 04:37 PM



I have just had a good friend, a man, tell me why I'll probably always be overlooked. I don't think he meant to hurt me, but maybe the truth hurts.

He told me that I am so nice that men think of me more as a "mom" or "sister" figure. I am someone they will feel comfortable in going to for advice, and to rant a bit about some girl.

It seems that I fit into the friend when needed catagory. You know, invisable until they need advice, or a kind word or two. He then made it worse by telling me that I am kind of pretty but that since I am not what guys think is sexy, they pass me by.


WOW. So now I know. I guess it's a good thing I'm not looking...


That's part of the problem, men and women seeking partners based on their sex appeal and all too often end up discovering they weren't much of a partner outside of the bedroom. Sex is the easy part. What's hard is stickin' around for the tough stuff...that's when you separate substance from BS.

You are adorable, a real a doll and a lot men find cute sexy as heck. You're friend is absolutely wrong. It may be how he feels, but I guarantee he doesn't speak for all men.


Wise words Lilbug about what you said to Machug said about her friend. Its interesting how others, especially our friends see us. I wear a sci fi costumes; and I am a playful nerd. I wear my fitness outfits and I am seen as a fitness nut. I wear my dress and I am seen as a girly girl. I wear my uniform and I am seen as disciplined military person. So, all my friends see a different side of me and of course everyone will have a different opinion of me. I would think the same of strangers as not everyone will see the same things in you. Am I making any sense or just rambling? laugh


Ha! Yep, perfect sense!

I'll tell ya somethin else.....just 'cause folks don't wear their sexuality all up in your face doesn't mean they ain't got it goin' on. That's another thing folks do, place too much emphasis on the packaging, when some of those plain wrapper folks will rock your world...know what I'm sayin ;)

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Sun 01/15/12 01:22 PM
Edited by lilbug on Sun 01/15/12 01:23 PM

I have just had a good friend, a man, tell me why I'll probably always be overlooked. I don't think he meant to hurt me, but maybe the truth hurts.

He told me that I am so nice that men think of me more as a "mom" or "sister" figure. I am someone they will feel comfortable in going to for advice, and to rant a bit about some girl.

It seems that I fit into the friend when needed catagory. You know, invisable until they need advice, or a kind word or two. He then made it worse by telling me that I am kind of pretty but that since I am not what guys think is sexy, they pass me by.


WOW. So now I know. I guess it's a good thing I'm not looking...


That's part of the problem, men and women seeking partners based on their sex appeal and all too often end up discovering they weren't much of a partner outside of the bedroom. Sex is the easy part. What's hard is stickin' around for the tough stuff...that's when you separate substance from BS.

You are adorable, a real a doll and a lot men find cute sexy as heck. You're friend is absolutely wrong. It may be how he feels, but I guarantee he doesn't speak for all men.

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Sun 01/15/12 01:14 PM

Ya know I have felt the same way that most here have as far as the dating pool goes....Seems the more I tried to give the more some decided they wanted to take.

To many times I thought the more I gave things would work out...But ya know I have finally decided that I'm going to find someone that I enjoy being with instead of the love part. Figured if that is meant to happen it will grow within time...

George Strait came out with a song that says it all for me.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ALdBczzuz0

From now on I'm going to hang with them while the times are good. When the good times leave it is time for them to leave as well..

I'm not one that will move for anyone....I own my own home therefore if they move in with me when it is over they can hit the door... I will help them pack their bags.

I guarantee the one that is with me now has been told this up front. I will still give all I can but if they take advantage of my giving and start taking with no concern of my feelings then it is time for them to move on..

Who knows what tomorrow will bring...Life is to short to have someone take advantage of you. I do enjoy the companionship of another, but it is not worth it if they do not appreciate what is before them....




Great post! Great song!

Yeah, my behind is not movin' again. It costs too much emotionally and financially. No matter what happens down the road, I'm keeping my own place, my own space.

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Sun 01/15/12 10:26 AM
I guess many of us have had our bad dates and relationships. My hope is that those folks who are guilty of this deplorable behavior will see the harm they are doing and knock it off.

I find it a pretty sad and pathetic state of affairs to have to endure any kind of abuse in order to find a companion. What I know for sure is there are far too many lonely, loving hearts in this world who have decided to give up and just live alone because of their experiences. There's just a point when you've had enough. To think we our doing this to one another saddens me.

I know it shouldn't be this difficult and falling in love should be one of the best experiences of one's life, not something you fear. I don't know, I sometimes feel my ideals are a little too old fashioned, a little too simplistic for the complexities of the world today.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and I am sorry for those of you who have also endured any of this useless, unnecessary crap. I'm doing well and immensely enjoying the peace of being on my own again.


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Sun 01/15/12 05:47 AM

Yep. I dont think you seem bitter. I think you have experiences that have given you decision making skills.

I hope people can learn from your thoughts here rather than jumpin into the same mistakes.


flowerforyou

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Sun 01/15/12 04:59 AM
I'm not at all bitter. I am disapponted in some of my human counterparts, and weary and have more than few battle scars. I have freely given my heart, been willing to seek what I want and compromise when needed because I think anything less you're short changing yourself and whomever you're getting involved with, and despite everyting, I still believe that.

My failed experiences are not because I wasn't honest and willing, it's because other folks weren't. Dating and meeting has just taken on so many changes, and some folks have not only blurred the line of decency, but completely stepped right over it Some where along the way folks have forgotten these are real people, with real lives, real hearts, and real, life changing consequences for your actions.

Never in a million years would I have thought it would be so difficult, cost so much, just to be in love.

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Sun 01/15/12 04:42 AM

Men have their share of nightmares too.

I responded to a woman's letter once and she screamed (capitals) at me cuz I was responding to her letter. Ergo, I spent all my time on the internet.

No, I like going places too. I only spend time on the internet because I don't have a partner. But if someone is that ballastic, forget it!


I absolutely know this behavior and more women are capable of too. This is not a man bashing post. It's heads-up, get your **** together, have your priorities in the right place, be sure of what you want before you go turning some else's life upside down.

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Sat 01/14/12 05:38 PM
Many of you know me. You know, I’ve been out here a while doing the meeting and dating and relationship thing. In that time I’ve had some experiences… boy!...have I had some experiences! slaphead

I’ve had the first dates from hell, anywhere where folks looking nothing their pics or showing up without their false teeth, instead carrying them in their pocket, or showing up in a vehicle that has more fast food bags and old French fries in it than McDonalds.

I’ve had 3 relationships, all 3 where I was the one who had to relocate and give up many of my belongings. The first, the gentleman had a 21-year-old daughter who decided she longer wanted to reside with her mom and came and live with ‘daddy’ and me. She was with us 2-1/2 years and spent most of it in her room. She did not work, did not go to school, did not clean her room, or help around the house, and expected her dad and I to pay all her expenses, and daddy was a big enabler. I did not expect or even want her to regard me as a mother figure, but I did not expect to be treated like a maid.

The second was a con man, plain and simple, which I did not discover until I moved in with him. The relationship ended when he found I did not make as much money as he thought, and wasn’t going to bail him out of his financial mess.

The last, all peaches and cream the first 8 months, but shortly after we moved in together, his explosive temper emerged, all intimacy stopped. He was a widower and I discovered from his family I was just another in a long line of women who did not measure up to his deceased wife.

So, I’m back here in first date, meet and greet land again and encountering the same kind of nightmares.

I work at home, but that does not mean I am able or ready at a moment’s notice to cease my work for you to “pop-in for quick visit” meet and greet. First, my work ethic and ability to pay my bills outweighs my desire to meet any of you. Second, I do not hop out of bed showered, with every hair in place and make-up applied. I’m a girl, that in itself dictates it’s going to take me more than 15 minutes to get ready. Unlike, some of you guys, I’m going to do more than splash on a bit of after shave, and pull my cleanest flannel shirt from the hamper.

Another thing I’ve encountered, because I don’t drive, is the assumption that I should be grateful and/or am obligated somehow because you drove to make the meeting that I’m going to hop into bed with you on the first date. Some of you guys profess to want old fashioned girls, yet expect us to act like hookers.

The latest thing I’ve encountered is a gentleman asking if we can get together that evening, but his son may have a basketball game that he and his ex always attend together, so he’ll have to let me know. For me, if you son’s games are important to you, you dam well know his game schedule and if not, then you find out for sure before you make plans with me. I’m not going to the trouble of preparing for a meeting that may not take place, and I’m not going to sit by the phone waiting to see if you can fit me into your plans. My time is important too, and I would rather not feel like I’m being ‘penciled in’.

I never use to get folks who said they were happier being single...now, I'm beginning to get it.

I apologize for the length of this. Not only did I need to vent, but I wanted to put it out there for all those folks who wonder why they can’t find and keep good partners. Women are just as guilty at some of these things and more. If any of you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios…therein lies your answer as to “Why.”

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Wed 01/11/12 02:33 PM
In my work I encounter the issue of bipolars not taking and refusing to take their medications and I see the results of that, sometimes with the same folks over and over again. I would make absolutely clear in the beginning if they did not intend to stay on their meds and stay in followup, I'm not stickin' around.

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Wed 01/11/12 04:23 AM

So let me ask..

Do you feel that everyone has, someone just for them to find?

Do you feel that many people, will never WANT another to find?

Do you feel that YOU will find someone on here?

Do you feel that You will NEVER find your other?

Do you feel that MANY can live alone the rest of their life and be happy w/o another in their life?

So tell me,,,Whats your answers here??whoa what


Think one's answers to these change over time and depending on their experiences. I think we all experience these thoughts at one time or another and each one of these are true at some point for many.

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Wed 01/11/12 04:15 AM
Well, it would depend on the time of year. I live near a huge lake and this is bit of tourist town in the summer. This time of year we'd probably head for the town square first. Unlike many small towns these days, we still have a very active town square with the wonderful old time feel to it. Lots of interesting little shops to browse there or may be a drive around the lake. There are gobs of places to eat with a variety of foods to tickle your taste buds. We have a quaint little museum. Remember skating rinks? We will have one of those! A step back in time a bit here with a lot of the amenities of larger city.

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Mon 07/11/11 04:10 PM
Edited by lilbug on Mon 07/11/11 04:48 PM
They go by different names, Home Profit Kit, Home Patrol are just two. In the last two days I've seen them everywhere. They are setting up phony sites that look like legitimate news organizations and make it appear that it was seen on TV and reported by these news organizations....they weren't. I looked into them. You can never really see the Terms and Conditions, you're directed to a web page that asks for credit card information and from there to Checkout.

They're selling a work at home kit, different price on different sites. Last one I saw was for a 'reduced rate' of 150.00.

http://channel7jobsreport.com/FINANC...310424251598-0

They also have this web site.
http://internet-cash-site.com/02/?AI...edIE8%3bENUS)#

http://reviewopedia.com/workathome/h...-is-it-a-scam/

Red Flags:
1. Anytime you have to pay for anything.
2. When they offer their product at a 'reduced rate'.
3. When they say you must act now.
4. When you cannot see the Terms and Conditions.
5. Phony sites. To check, click on the 'Home' button, it will usually direct you to their page, not the home page of the alleged news organization.

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Sun 07/10/11 05:24 PM
EquusDancer, you're feathered babies are beautiful!! And Rocky and Mandrake must be very interesting pets!

Man..Jerry looks like a sweetheart!! What a cutie-pie!

Olivia -- Sugar Ray's name seems to fit him somehow! He's adorable!

Loy - Rosie looks like she is full of mischief!


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