but yet funny

give it up for lil oh granny,,,lmao,,,,,

lil train pain,,lol

whos on my island,,,lmao

got to lov the i d e a ,,lol

NUN Any ONE

hehehe

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting
for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those
weight machines that tell your fortune. So, she thought to herself "I'll
give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card
that said, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and your are going to
Chicago, Illinois."

She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably
tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again.

She went back to the machine and put her nickel in. Out came a card that
read, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and you are going to Chicago,
Illinois and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong, I have never played a
musical instrument a day in my life."

She sat down again. From nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle
case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and just started
playing beautiful music.

Startled, she looked back at the machine and said "This is incredible.
I've got to try it again".

Back to the machine. She put her nickel in and another card came out. It
said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds, you're going to Chicago,
Illinois and you're going to break wind".

Now, the nun knows the machine is wrong "I never broke wind in public a
day in my life!"

Well, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind. Stunned, she sat
back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself "This is truly
unbelievable! I've got to try it again."

She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card.
It said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds and you have fiddled and
farted around and missed your flight to Chicago."

oh ,,lol,,,

Thank You Much I try to keep yall laughing......

hey theres nut in his JEANS,,lol,,,

DUFF CAN U COM-PER-HEND,,,,any of the joke,,,,sag was taken care of be
the Salvation Army ,,,damn some just dont get
it,,lol,,lmao,,,,,,,,,,,,,love to all here even u DUFF even U,,,,,,,

lol,,,

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man.
"There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every
shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this
variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the
salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied
"The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type.
Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded,
"It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses,
the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes
mountains out of mole hills."

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One whose thingy is thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he promises to call, he won"t wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair & opens my door,
Massages my back & begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say when I ask "How big's my behind?
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin',
In the hall, the tub, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempts to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the jackass you sent me instead.

((((AMEN))))

On a group of beautiful deserted tropical islands in the middle of
nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might
expect, a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely, stunningly beautiful desert
(and deserted)Islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things
have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman The 2
French men and the French woman are living happily together in a
menage-a-trois

The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits
with the German woman.

The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.

The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
English woman.

The 2 Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, another long
look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming...

The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The 2 Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant,
and a laundromat. And have got the woman pregnant in order to supply
employees for the store.

The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the
American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body, the true
nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity
of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and
palmtrees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her
opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with
her mother is improving, and at least the taxes are low, and it isn't
raining....

The 2 Irish men have divided the Island into North and South and set up
a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture, because it
gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But
they are satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

oh yes it is ,,,,,,,but still funny to just think about it ,,,,love to
all here

lol oh my god,,to funny

An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are
divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said.
"We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this,
so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck
they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this." She
calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT
getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"They're coming for Easter dinner and paying their own way!!"

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son
playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the
train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of *****es who want off,
get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons
of *****es who are getting on, get your asses in the train cause we're
going down the tracks"

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind
of language in this house. Now, I want you to go to your room and you
are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with
your train...but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing
with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son
say..."All passengers please remember to take all of your belongings
with you. We thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope
you will ride with us again soon." She heard her little darling
continue..." for those of you just boarding, remember there is no
smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing
journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the
kitchen.