Lumber, paint, fake tattoo parlors, fake El Caminos to lure said hillbillies into trap. Behind fake town is a catapault to fire them into ocean.

Boobs on the moon. Also good for the guys with ED.

I need volunteers to help me build a fake neighborhood to fool the hillbilly neighbors...like Rock Ridge in "Blazing Saddles", any helpers?

No one is buying my house and my neighbors are all hillbilly morons...wait, I think I see the problem.

(thread warming up slightly)

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of ****
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

Already required for my funeral.

Are some girls from Atlanta cling peaches?

Some girl that looked just like Chris Farley as the lunch lady.
I know, I'm shallow. One of my requirements for a woman is that I am not horrified by her, call me crazy.

Eyes: Yes. Two a plus.
Hair: Yes. None on back, please.
Skin: Yes. Feathers also considered.
Hands
&
Feet: Yes. Appropriate number of each for locomotion
and grooming/feeding. 10 fingers/toes with
bonus for 5:5 split. 6:4 also considered.
Face: Yes. Face required.
Ht/Wt: Yes. Must be three dimensional
Body: Yes. Must have a corporal body. No spirits.
Must be organ appropriate. All internal organs
must be internal.

ANY TAKERS?
P.S. NO PENISES!

Super hot - clingy not noticed
Not hot at all - clingy accentuated

Well, since you're on a web site where everybody is all talk and no action, my guess would be NO.

Yep. Those damned pesky restraining orders..........joke, joke
I kid, I kid.

Been there a few times. Some girls from work used to like to go and see Shane Cobain do his Elvis thing. Plus, alcohol is muy bueno.

I got a break up e-mail once. That was bad enough, but she sent it four times (by accident, she said). D'oh!

Quite a few of those on here. They come on here to prck tease the lowly singles.

I think some people fudge the truth a little. Especially those that may be nearing the "best by date" when it comes to potential relationships. Some people say they have "a few extra pounds", but they neglect to say a few extra pounds......ON THE MOON.

Hell if I know. I'll let you know if and when it happens.

Zager and Evans (2525)

Woo Hoo! You're elected social chairman! Congratulations. Somewhere centrally located...hmmmmm. U-District? Wallingford?
Pioneer Square? Bar trivia night somewhere (my personal strong suit)
hmmmm......

p.s. buy my house

Penalty for early withdrawal.