"I'll take "Things that eat you when you die" for 500, Alex"

Thank you! Yr writing is pretty good too ya' know?

Yes....the sky eats you too........

Right?
Things that eat you when you die.........

Evil snails
Evil worms
Evil sky
Evil germs

Just...ya' know?.....buy the book.........

I didn't write this. This is Brett Easton Ellis. He's the guy who wrote "Less Than Zero' and "American Psycho" He is awesome!

.....His most recent conquest is a particularly vapid sixteen-year-old who thinks you can get pregnant from oral sex and contract AIDS from drinking a Snapple. She also talks to birds and has a pet squirrel named Corky, as well as a problem with silverware; at restaurants , when a waiter recites the specials, she always has to interrupt by asking oh so slowly: "Do you have to use a fork to eat that?" But Mike finds her innocence alluring and soon initiates her into his world, a place where he makes her wear flimsy clothes (transparent lace thongs are high on his list) and has her say, "Throw me a bone" before they have sex and "Who's my daddy?" once he's penetrated her. He applies cocaine to her clitoris. He forces her to read Milan Kundera paperbacks and makes her watch Jeopardy! They fly to L.A. for an orgy at the Chateau Marmont and buy sex toys at the Hustler Boutique on Sunset Blvd. and pile them into the trunk of his rented black Cadillac Escalade SUV while she giggles "amply". He even charms her father-who has threatened to personally kick our hero's *** if he didn't stop dating his underage daughter. In a very tender moment, Mike buys her a fake I.D. "She doesn't mean to be that stupid," he always apologizes to his aggravated friends, other bachelors living in the same lost world as Mike's. One night he gets her so high on mushrooms that she is unable to locate her own vagina.

The Castle by Franz Kafka

Thanks!

It's a true story. I still have the note......

I would be a beer......



Everybody likes beer.....and would drink me,see?.......

Cat fish.......with tartar sauce.......

Years ago I was in the hospital getting my medications stabilized and undergoing group therapy. During one group the counselor asked the group to name people that they admired. As people were naming the people they admired she wrote the names on the board. It was an interesting list. Mother Theresa was there along with Rush Limbaugh. Oprah & Johnny Depp. Tom Brokaw...Ted Nugent. A very eclectic list. We were then told to choose a person from the list and write a letter. The letter was supposed to be addressed to us from them. I thought it was a gigantic waste of time but I did it anyway. I'd actually forgot all about it until I found the note yesterday while cleaning up my place. I read it and laughed my a** off. Here it is...



Dear Kevin



This is the most ridiculous assignment I've EVER heard of. If it were up to me I'd come over there & blow yr head off with a hunting rifle. Glad yr leavin' today & stay the f*** outta' trouble. Go home, pick up yr guitar...don't get too wasted...always try to have some food in yr fridge & some coin in yr pocket. Remember that this is all just one gigantic illusion & doesn't mean squat. When all is said & done you are who you are. Don't change for anybody else except yr self.

F*** You

- Ted Nugent

Thank you everybody......

Port-O-San

http://youtu.be/vIVzxlZu1iE