100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
|
Topic:
“Like Wishing Upon A Star”
|
|
All god things come to those who want on what god has for them. nice write. :-)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
poem like thingy
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Five Levels of Hangovers
|
|
Ouch. I take it you've experinced level 5!!! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q.Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is a Yankee? A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk572YYUS> Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? A. They both like a tight seal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? A. Their balls are just for decoration. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'? A. About three inches. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between purple and pink? A. The grip. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A. It's not hard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 pounds. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? A. The swallow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What is the difference between medium and rare? A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A . They don't have balls to scratch! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Five Levels of Hangovers
|
|
One Star Hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a big mac & fries. Two Star Hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Denny's excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels. Three Star Hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots (or wine coolers) your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once. Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five ****s you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom. Five Star Hangover (*****) You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now... ***** |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
revelation (january 01')
|
|
Nice flow, well done!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Do you have Cancer
|
|
WOW!! very well done my friend!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Designed to be a Hottie
|
|
Well put there Wench!!!
The sun outshines Toby Keith... a 15 watt light bulb outshines toby kieth, but i digress...good writing |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
She stormed into the bar
|
|
She stormed into the bar and grabbed him my the ear, said Ok big boy get it in gear! Lets get home am tired of your games, hiding from me you drive me insane. One more time and youre out the door, one more chance wont take it much more! If you really love me you will change your ways, otherwise you are finished with me for all my future days! 
 Wench thinks this is about me and her!!
 Or could be cause Ive been writin' about saloons!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
You're the Author (a song)
|
|
Very nicely done!!!!!!!!!!!
now wheres that smiley with clapin' hands!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
((( Familia ))))))
|
|
Mmm, yes those hugs are real! From the both of us to all!!! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
The Dark Night Of The Soul
|
|
Great write!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
open your heart
|
|
Well done!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
out
|
|
Through Jesus all things can happen!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
no one reads this ****
|
|
Just stopped by to say I didn't read it...
But not bad!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
If She
|
|
nice write!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Don't eat chicken sandwiches
|
|
Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what.....
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?' She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.' 'Why?' he asked. She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!' 'Let me see' he said. 'Okay' and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.' He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her! She said 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Designed to be a Hottie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
|
|
Hillary and Obama were on a fishing boat.
The boat sank in a big storm. There was no lifeboat, no life preservers. Who was saved??????? AMERICA |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
From Eternity
|
|
Simlpy beautiful Angel!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Previous
