1. Brushing your teeth in the morning, your woman/man walks into the bathroom and takes a dump. And you still want to jump their bones.

That is love.

Now what is my reward?

1. Try to find someone you have a lot in common with so you have compatibility.

Opposites may attract, but that doesn't necessarily make a long lasting relationship.

My mother warned me about this kind of stuff.

We need a news story about someone being pulled from a car accident with dirty underwear.

I prefer to have my whole heart inside of me.

...but men can answer too.

Say you started dating someone right around this time of year, and by Christmas, things had gotten kind of serious - seeing each other exclusively, spending more and more time together, etc.

What is an appropriate amount of money you think your man should spend on you for Christmas?

Be honest.

“Why? Because this is crucial and even scientists, even doctors, even psychologists, all of them, have proven that this here, this intimacy with your spouse is a crucial, crucial ingredient for a successful marriage.


I agree that sex is an important part in a marriage, but basically telling your wife to get into the bedroom and spread 'em because God says so, is hardly going to make a marriage better.

This is some funny stuff. I wonder what he says should happen if the wife say's **** No!

Ha, that made me laugh more than my joke.

It will probably work better if you fix your picture so your old girlfriend can't be seen.

Welcome back and good luck.

Because a woman will never be able to walk down the street with a bald head and a big beer gut and think of themselves as sexy.

Post once, then de-activate.

That's annoying. Like, uh, why did you even bother?

or

"Rate my profile," and they have zero information, just a bunch of pics.

I give you a 10 for looks, 0 for personality. You're officially a 5.

or


"My kids come first," said every mother on the planet. It's a given. You don't have to put it in your profile.

Now THAT would be an awkward conversation.

How about the classic, "shirtless selfie in front of the mirror?"

Not much better, probably?

I think this thread is begging for some comments from the ladies.

Depends on how bad the offense was.

Just don't refer to her as a "weirdo," when you're on the show.

You don't want to come across as a bigot.

True enough, so I won't go into details. I haven't done a lot of dating from websites, but here are my best pointers:

1. Never go sight unseen. No matter what the excuse is.

2. Beware of the following phrases:

"love to laugh" - can just as easily cry. Most likely bi-polar.

"a few extra pounds" - look, if you're fat, that's okay - just say it.

"separated" - married, but looking to replace my spouse before I actually leave them.

"Christian" - goes to church, or at least went to church in the past. Not necessarily a Christian. Has possibly never read the bible. Can often manipulate this to their advantage: "I can't do that, I'm a Christian," and then when they do something that they know is morally wrong, "It's okay, I'm forgiven."

Drinks "often" - Beware, with a capital B.

Smokes "Occasionally" - yup, they're a smoker.

Wet wipes come in handy, too.

No, because insecure people do weird things when you break up with them. That really has nothing to do with age.

Being true to your word and probably with the help of a good therapist.

Trust issues start with an insecure person. If both of you are insecure, it's probably going to be twice as difficult.

Good luck.

He's found a beautiful, young woman, who loves him, of course he's serious, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. You've already alluded to "trust issues."

"I know there's something wrong with that." Then get out now and fix yourself, because at 51 years old, HE's not likely to change.

And, don't be surprised if he becomes a stalker after you break it off. Change your phone number.

I would probably add something about your plans while in retirement.

Robbing a bank and needing a get-away driver, or something.