be my guest. i have a bag of poison for them but can't put it down until rain is out of the forcast.

it's insane how fast they are. i counted over 50 bites on one foot and the other has more, and that's after only a few seconds. in elementary school a friend fell on a mound and was bitten so many times in under a minute that she nearly died.

i have quite a few pics up. i've found that most pics of me are at less than ideal times. for instance, on a beach roadtrip or offroad trip when i'm hot, tired, shirtless and haven't shaved in two days.

the number of pics seems less important than the content of them in my experience.

but it's sure feels like it. stupid fire ants. scientists need to engineer a species that feels as good as fire ants feel bad...orgasm ants!

it's true that some guys are trying to overcompensate for thinning hair, a flabby gut or equipment shortcomings, but there are others that truly enjoy the wind rushing past them, the sun on their back or the thrill of doing 90mph on 2 wheels next to a semi truck on the highway. my brother-in-law always wanted a nice custom chopper but he couldn't afford one until recently. he's a little over 30 and isn't trying to impress women (he better not be since he's married to my sister. ha). he's just enjoying something he's always wanted.

that's not to say it can't look goofy sometimes. if you have a skullet (bald on top but long in the back...) you're just asking for it. there's a difference between being an old guy on a bike and being an old guy using a bike to desperately hold onto his youth. when you see a guy riding his harley to work in a nice suit on a 100+ degree day, you know that's an enthusiast, not a wannabe. he loves to ride...or he had to sell his car to buy the bike...ha

i know the big news...shamwow/slapchop vince is running for president next time. his campaign slogan will combine pieces of his two commercials... "you're gonna love my nuts. you'll be saying wow every time."

women wish i had no vehicles because i love them too much.

car salesmen are some of the worst. i've met a few really good ones but most are useless to me. they usually know nothing about cars, even the ones they're selling. i was test driving a 1990 zr-1 corvette one time and the guy said the big block gave it plenty of "get up and go". first, the lt-5 is not a big block and second, "get up and go" is in the same category as "sporty". it doesn't really mean anything and you should never say it to a car guy.

why would multiple looks be offensive? i do it sometimes accidentally.

there are a few ladies that stop by my profile every few days but only send me a message every now and then. no big deal. it's much more disturbing when a cat walks by twice and i say "woah, deja vu" and everybody panics because it means they just changes something in the matrix.

they found a dead guy at the recent NIN concert. not imitating him is a good start.

if people are playing in mud near the port-a-johns don't touch them...it's not mud.

the word "wet". ladies, if you're constantly aroused it's probably a medical problem and that doesn't make me turned on, just concerned.

gun control protects the good guys about as much as doing away with the offensive line would protect a quarterback.

i don't actually own any guns but i have nothing against them.

this is about as scary as the LHC creating black holes that will destroy the universe.

that was a good 1 "just trying 2 catch up reading all the posts"


gracias


as some have mentioned (as did back to the future 2), betting on sports would be great. however, i think it would be too likely that small changes in the past might make big changes to sporting events. instead, i think i'd place my bets (in the form or time, effort, money, etc.) into things that would be held more constant. i'd go back and invent the printing press, the toilet, velcro, write star wars (like hurley is attempting on lost) and buy up stock in companies that are now giants. true, i might alter the future so some of them flop...but probably not all.

what if you went back to the 80s and died and met god...but he was wearing a members-only jacket and had a mullet?

Dubz has shown you the secret....fingers for hair. it's the evolution of medusa's classic snake hair...but without the side effect of turning dates to stone.

you should be glad men are hormone-driven degererate pervs. the economy would be even worse without money from dirty websites, nudie bars and weiner pills.

and here's how really bad pervs help the economy...

hormones + cash = whore moans + STDs

the pimp gets his money for a low-rider cadillac and a fuzzy hat and the doctors get their money for treating burning genitals.

good sentiment, but it would cause some problems for the rest of us. he wasn't sent here to become a great carpenter and die peacefully as an old man.

however, he'd be a great boss to have on a construction site. you'd never have to bring your lunch. jesus just brings a fish sandwich to the site every day (and writes if off as a business expense) and turns it into a bunch of them. sure he could just keep one around from the last batch but he'd want to multiply freshness. nothing but boring water to drink? not for long...wine! and safety precautions are pointless when your boss can just zap you back to life if you fall off a ladder.

screw it up somehow

i like theories that say time isn't linear. more interesting that way.

one problem i've never seen addressed in time travel stories or theories is conservation of mass and energy. i think if i went back in time i'd need to simultaneously send an equal amount of matter and energy forward to my present to maintain balance. otherwise, i'd leave the past with an excess and the present with a deficit.

and they always talk about not interacting with your past self. well, how picky should be be on that? my body could be made up of any number of things from the past. maybe i ate an apple right before i traveled back but in the past i stepped in some poop that was supposed to fertilize the tree that grew that apple and as a result that apple wasn't quite ripe in time for me to eat it? so by stepping on that poop i'd be stepping on one of the building blocks of me. not cool.

and let's say i go back to 1988 or something. some kids are riding skateboards, wearing jams and saying everything is "rad". a hot chick walks by in a thin shirt and a cool breeze switches the headlights on....but the skateboarders don't see because i'm standing in the way. i've just stunted their development!

let's just say that based on his arrest record his bathroom habits are waaaaaaay different from mine.

ok, i think i'll be changing that pic soon...thanks for the heads-up!

"must clean" is probably the worst part of that ad. i can imagine somebody is in hell right now cleaning thousands of toilets for eternity....holy crap.