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Community > Posts By > needsum12luv
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I don't mean to be cruel or even blunt but here goes. You've married at least twice. In at least one of those relationships you gave up something because 'she wouldn't have married me otherwise.' And you're here, now. When a partner tells you, 'Change, or else,' you don't have a partner. You have a Master. Be who you are. Shine at that.  I would totally get that if I were smoking and she didn't object, but then after we married and the partner suddenly can't tolerate something about you, then that's their bad I guess. There is always room for self improvement, and if it's more important for you to do something you like that your partner does not, and understandably so, don't you think it's a bit selfish to continue doing it rather than make a change to benefit the relationship? |
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Edited by
needsum12luv
on
Sun 04/26/15 05:04 PM
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^Indeed. OP : Give up sounds like a defeat. Let's just say you found it & you gave up on yourself i.e physic, attributes, etc. Was it all for show & tell to lure / attract "it"? Edit. Agreeing with TX. yes, taken out of context it certainly does. But giving up something for someone is a totally different concept. As in giving up smoking for my ex wife. I love to smoke, in fact, after we divorced I took it back up. But it wasn't as important for me to smoke as it was for me to have her in my life, at least not at the beginning of the relationship but obviously not after 10 years, things changed. Of course, no one thinks at the beginning especially after accepting marriage that it's going to end in divorce, but obviously something changes in the course of the marriage to make it not work like it did when you started out. Giving up smoking is not exactly being defeated |
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Give up?? Not a thing if I have to give up something then to me it is not love...  Don't you think that a significant part of a relationship is compromise, and doesn't compromise mean giving something up for the other? Compromising is to agree to disagree and move on.. I would not be with someone that I have to give up something that I enjoy just because it is something they don't enjoy... To compromise on that type of situation is not to give up but to have me time so each can still do things they enjoy. Then do the things you enjoy together that both like... To me you take the person for who they are, not go and change them to be who you want them to be.. Those type of situations never work out.. Only one that benefits is the one making the other one change. The other is left in the end wishing they could still do what they enjoyed when they first met that person... Agreeing to disagree is one form of compromise. When 2 people start out in loving relationship, They will not know everything about them, they will hopefully spend the rest of their lives learning about each other. They may be things that the other can't tolerate, but you could easily give up for the sake of the relationship. It certainly is two way street. Perhaps if more people were able to give up something for the sake of the relationship the divorce rate wouldn't be so high
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Give up?? Not a thing if I have to give up something then to me it is not love... Don't you think that a significant part of a relationship is compromise, and doesn't compromise mean giving something up for the other? |
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Edited by
needsum12luv
on
Sun 04/26/15 04:08 PM
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Definitely not NFL football on Sundays,or no day for that matter,sorry!   Then I would gather that NFL football is more important to you than a Relationship. Hypothetically, You meet someone that is everything you want in a woman, but she has a brother that died due to a football injury, so she has a very hard time emotionally with the sport in that just seeing a football brings her much pain. She ask you to not watch it at home and not to mention it around her. What then? (Frankly, I would have a hard time giving up my Saints, but really, how important is it) In regards to giving up your heart. If you did that, what would you love her with . In a relationship you don't give up your heart inasmuch as two hearts beat as one. |
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Give up? Not a single thing. If she and I got as far as 'love,' what I am is a known and acceptable factor. I would GIVE everything. All that was in me. I'd do all I was able to to ensure it never changed. Give up to FIND love? Same answer. Not a thing. If a relocation is something that one wants to do for whatever reason, cool. Lots and lots of wonderful world to see and experience. Don't fool yourself into thinking that 'things would be so different if only I weren't here' though. No matter where you go, there you are. It's a question of putting the cart before the horse for me, I s'pose. Be someone that can be loved, and that starts with loving yourself. Until you do or unless you're a master showman, the love of others is quite a bit more difficult to garner. Someone I knew called it the Law of Universal Attraction. How we feel about ourselves draws a similar response from others. It's all in the focus. Change from 'I' to 'You' and magic occurs. Good luck, partner. I believe you missed my point. Of course we give our all to make a relationship work, or it's not going to. But that in itself can mean giving something up. But to say you wouldn't give up anything, well, then that's pretty much a one sided affair. For instance, I gave up smoking for my second wife. She simply would not marry me if I continued to smoke. It was reasonable and fair request. Any bad habits, drinking, drugs, hanging out with the guys every night after work, there are some sacrifices you just might have to make for that significant other, and some she might have to give up for you. It's what I call compromise and it has nothing to do with you liking yourself or others liking you. |
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Nearing 62 and being single is very hard on a guy that lives for love. Having a few health problems of my own (but I can still kick butt on most of you youngin's, and the fact there is not a lot of women near my age that are available, it is next to impossible to find that special someone that is right for me. Certainly not out my back door. Unfortunately all of my immediate family has passed on, so there is really nothing to keep me from relocating if that's what it takes to find the right one. I'm a picky guy, but only to the point that a good woman to me is just that, a good woman. So for me, I will not trade off good standards for good looks, however I would like my significant other to be pleasant to look at. With that being said, I guess the one thing I can give up is geographical boundaries. So, when it comes to the most important element in life (as far as I'm concerned), Love, what would you be willing to give up for that special someone that fits your needs.
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Yups..... good to have you back!  And while you are back, is the bar and breakfast joint going to be reopened as well....... I'm hungry and could do with a drink!  No............gotta concentrate on making some real money, can't get very far on mingle bucks   (slinking off to get some real food) aww now, don't make me feel bad, least I can do is bring you a drink..............what will ya have cutie |
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Yups..... good to have you back! And while you are back, is the bar and breakfast joint going to be reopened as well....... I'm hungry and could do with a drink! No............gotta concentrate on making some real money, can't get very far on mingle bucks |
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Topic:
MINGLE PARTY
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I would love to come, but I can't travel far as I am on a Looow budget. I would bring every cookie I bake, oatmeal chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, oatmeal butterscotch, reg oatmeal and Chocolate chip cookies, salted caramel chocolate cupcakes, cookie dough brownies and Cinnamon Rolls. Oh, of course I'll spring for a case of Corona's and a fifth of Jose. Can anyone give me a ride?
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needsum12luv stated >>> I'm back, did ya miss me?  Ya, from one 'NEWBIE' to another...we sometimes learn our lessons the hard way - RIGHT!!! Now behave! LOL {{hugs}} Me? Behave?............NEVAH!!!!! |
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welcome back OOOh my heart is still in prison..............good to see you and thanks for the wb |
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thank you dear
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cried for weeks baby where did ya go  I was um, given a timeout |
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I'm back, did ya miss me?
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Topic:
Road House, it's my Birthday
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I want to make an early birthday thread too!! I may not be in the forums in 2 months. I may find my Prince by then and be living in my mansion. as long as it has a pool |
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Topic:
Road House, it's my Birthday
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why are you making a birthday thread to yourself if your birthday isnt til June? why have you made an announcement in your bar thread about getting busy and leaving then posted another announcement when that got deleted asking for friends to friend you and now this one if you are staying on mingle then good for you if you are leaving I wish you well in your work .what she said^^^ lol, some of you are far away, you'll need time to arrange for travel and accomodations |
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Topic:
Road House, it's my Birthday
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lol aren't you excited for your birthday Lolol I wish my birthday would never come . You got a few long weeks to go Lolol . Can I get a gin and tonic please |
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Topic:
Road House, it's my Birthday
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Well, a week and many, many decades after yours... But who's counting?  lol many many........yeah |
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Topic:
Road House, it's my Birthday
Edited by
needsum12luv
on
Wed 04/22/15 10:19 AM
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On June 3rd of the year 1953 a miracle happened, I WAS BORN!!! am looking for a date or multitude of dates to spend the evening with me at Texas Roadhouse in Davenport, Iowa on my 62nd time around. Of course, your buying so the more the littler it cost for all of ya..........lol
 Of course, I can not be held responsible for the bar tab. Coronas with a shot of tequila or margaritas will be fine, just keep em comin' |
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