I love to golf, but cannot afford it as I have no steady income. SS benefits 1 1/2 months away (which I was previously hoping would have started this month) I am in poverty financially and fighting to keep my home out of foreclosure. I love to write but have suffered writers block until recently, but still can't get into the stuff I've already started. I started today with a plan to diet and exercise and already implemented it. When I stop to think, only the obvious comes to thought, and my energy and hope is zapped by reality.

I have been through so many failures in pulling myself from the pit of a very unsuccessful relationship in my last marriage. It is difficult to keep trudging forward toward a time and place that I have drawn the road map for, but knowing of how much indecision there is between now and then, along with the failures that will inevitably continue to have on that road, I am stuck. With so much uncertainty, I just can't seem to deal with just the day to day disappointments that hinder my progress.

neither, looking for real love that drives passion into sexual desires.

I have had a good life. Without my family now and never having kids I am truly and regretfully alone. After my second divorce 4 years ago I have been desperately trying to get back the joy I had when I had family to turn to. Now I am an empty shell being told to "like myself" and "be content with myself". Mostly by people that don't have to depend on themselves for their own contentment. I loved who I was and never knew the pain of loneliness until after my divorce 4 years ago. Now after years of establishing and trying to get used to where I am in my life, it is a daily struggle. Depression and loneliness has weakened me to the point of not caring and now I am Obese and undesirable. I have had relationships since that were very filling the void for me while they lasted, but without any concrete reasons other than my own self esteem to carry on, I battle with the fear of being lonely forever, as these brief encounters turn out to be superficial and non enduring, which is so much of what I need in my life to feel at ease. There is someone in my life now that has lifted my hopes, and even though we are worlds apart, I want so much to have her as she is everything I have looked for in a woman all my life, and frankly, the only one I have ever found that fits nearly every criteria I desire. I now have a dream, a hope, a reason in life. I don't know why I'm even writing this but to rant as I cannot find myself worthy of her because of the deterioration from who I was, to who I am now. You see, not only do I need someone to love, I need to be loved, and in the way I have been loved all my life. Real Love, not superficial based on my outward appearance (which even that is less likely these days), but because of who I am inside. Hence my question. What is my purpose now, what is it about life that makes me yearn for tomorrow. Why? What for?

WHAT????...........BIRTHDAY............you don't look a day older than yesterday...........lol........Have a great day Iam, Oh, The pool, Yeah I'll get to that later.

Happy Birthday to Us dear, 6/3/53 for me. 62 get my first SS check in august woo hoo. Hope you have a great one

The only kissing mistake I can think of is..............not to kiss. Of course, in an appropriate manner (unlike some of the depictions on this thread...........yuck)

my fragrance.............seems to attract everything

double shot Cuervo gold with a Corona please

just as long as she lets go of my ears when she starts singing "YMCA"

Yes indeed, I pimp samples lol

Some day my dear, Some day

lol...........would you like a cookie little girl

I already sell Cookies with Chococale

and Salted Caramel Chocolate cupcakes

That's why I do the oatmeal cookies, especially the Chocolate chip, they are just not your common store bought cookies and even if I say so my self, mine are extra melt in your mouth delicious. Your absolutely right though, something unique you just can't get anywhere, that's what I want to offer to get the walker by's attention

I don't do Chinese..........well...............not pastries anyway

you just have to be difficult don't you

For real, Brad Pitt, I am truly hearbroken, why not Captain Ozzies

Yes, I do try to stick with stuff that is an eat it now why you shop sorta thing. Cinnamon Rolls have worked in this fashion, especially the mini's. Cupcakes (if I can get a successful run at catering) are definitely eat it now food. Cookies........ah well that's where you can make some big sales, for people who are having get-togethers, parties or office meetings. On the previous comment Pacifier made, our farmers market is often looked over by Health Dept. Officials so yes, here in Iowa we do practice good health standards

Now, as to sicking your Grandma on me TooOld............I usually put my own twist on my recipe's as not to copy someone else's unless it will truly compromise the taste. So, my apologies to your Grandma and my Mom while I'm at it

lol, yeah, gluten free, but when it comes to tasty treats, what's the point? Do you know whether you used buttermilk or plain milk in the rolls?