Community > Posts By > needsum12luv

 
needsum12luv's photo
Thu 04/30/15 09:09 PM



Simply, not my nature.

People who do stupid things,
have criminal conviction records.


That's a pretty wild assumption

needsum12luv's photo
Thu 04/30/15 08:38 PM
Edited by needsum12luv on Thu 04/30/15 08:45 PM
I have been guilty of yelling at my ex, but mostly because she pushed me too it, got in my face. I would never hit a woman, oh I wanted to hit her, especially when she came at me and choked me, but thanks to some self training in ju jujitsu I got her under control without doing harm to her. The thing is, when a man hits a woman and police get involved, it's the man that's going to jail. doesn't matter who hit who first


needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 09:53 PM





rofl


rofl rofl rofl

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 09:13 PM
Edited by needsum12luv on Sun 04/26/15 09:16 PM
Hang on 2OLD, coming right up, no1 left the cooler open and Bash got in and drank all the beer. Scotch sour, double coming right up

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 08:33 PM

wouldn't give up anything.people accept u as ur or keep walking.should always stay yourself as should the person you with


I look at it this way. God loves just like I am, he just doesn't want me to stay this way

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 08:31 PM



Mingle jail? Cough cough


Hmmm.... someone's being real naughty!



Slam the cuffs on 'email I say!! :tongue:



The Captains back and the bar is open............what can I getcha

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 08:30 PM



Can we all just go out for drinks now??drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinker oops offtopic drinker


you buyin?:banana: :banana: :banana:
Free shots all night!!drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks :banana: :banana: drinker

lol..............belly on up to the bar

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 08:12 PM

Can we all just go out for drinks now??drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinker oops offtopic drinker


you buyin?:banana: :banana: :banana:

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 07:59 PM

I would hope that the person would want to be a better man for me. He would do anything to please me, as I would to please him. Giving up vices and addictions and bad habits to please your mate would also make you a healthier and better person. You are improving on each other.

Giving up something which gives you pleasure, like a hobby or toy collection, but it displeases your spouse, is self-sabotage. The person is selfish and doesn't love you for making you do that. I would never make my man give up something which made him happy, as long as it wasn't destructive, just to please me. So it all depends.


Or if it just flat annoyed the hell out of ya

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 07:55 PM

I wouldn't give up anything now.
I don't plan on falling in love again anyway.

It's overrated.whoa flowers







lol.............yadda yadda

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 07:50 PM



I have question for anyone who say they won't give up nothing for their lover unless they want too,lets all remember there's two sides,what if they have given up alot for you,or there is something you want them to really give up,keep in mind you love them ,would you do it then?

If i truly loved them, they wouldn't have given up anything for me, because i wouldn't ask them too.


I would never say never because I did give up a lot, even relocated from my family home to another state when I got married. And giving up smoking and drinking was something I did too.....I never did pick up smoking again, but I like drinking with my family and some buddies whenever we get together.

And if I should ever meet someone to even feel I could love, I would be more cautious now than I was before in giving up everything, or somethings that I am comfortable or gotten used to. I doubt if I would relocate permanently, more like having 2 homes would be great, alternate, as my kids are still staying with me, and making the best of both worlds.

I would look more into both getting to keep what they love and compromising on other aspects.........if you love someone enough, you would want to reach an agreement on anything just to make it work to be together.


Well said, and that is a combination of what we all are saying to some degree. My own personal experience of facing off with challenges to make the relationship work has been, there are adjustments you have to make to each environment. Work, play or home life. The changes we make are by our own choice ultimately. Whether asked or not asked, for me or the other, or both. Tolerance and compromise work hand in hand.

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 07:38 PM
Edited by needsum12luv on Sun 04/26/15 07:38 PM



I have question for anyone who say they won't give up nothing for their lover unless they want too,lets all remember there's two sides,what if they have given up alot for you,or there is something you want them to really give up,keep in mind you love them ,would you do it then?

If i truly loved them, they wouldn't have given up anything for me, because i wouldn't ask them too.


Ditto... I would never ask someone to give up something unless it was something that we both needed to give up and I was willing to give it up as well.

Therefore back to square one. You never ask someone to give up something unless your willing to give something up yourself....whoa

so there always has to be a payback?

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 07:34 PM
So look at all this in prospective. Let's take the relationship back to the start when you are first discovering things about your S/O. Before there is a commitment surely you have weighed all those different things and your love grows or it grows stale because the good outweighs the bad or vice versa. But if there was something that you could give up, even without being asked because your S/O doesn't like it. What I'm hearing is it wouldn't be appropriate to ask your partner if they wouldn't mind giving it up. The final point is, what if he doesn't identify with your distaste and by bringing it to his attention could cause him to consider change just out of his love for her. I think it's called communication, but if you just be rude and say"do it or else" then I agree............take a hike.

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 07:16 PM

This is a good question. I don't know what I will change until I know him.
I would not expect him to give up his bro mate times or his hobbies because that is what his passion is. Just like he would not expect me to give up mine.
Part of loving someone is allowing them to be them.


Good point, and it's an ongoing effort the moment 2 people commit to each other. You will never know someone inside and out as long as your together. It can happen but it's a rarity. But certainly there are things that one cannot tolerate and it's not like your laying down the law, your simply asking them to not do that. Sometimes changes have to be made in the duration of a lasting relationship.

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 06:56 PM


Nearing 62 and being single is very hard on a guy that lives for love. Having a few health problems of my own (but I can still kick butt on most of you youngin's, and the fact there is not a lot of women near my age that are available, it is next to impossible to find that special someone that is right for me. Certainly not out my back door. Unfortunately all of my immediate family has passed on, so there is really nothing to keep me from relocating if that's what it takes to find the right one. I'm a picky guy, but only to the point that a good woman to me is just that, a good woman. So for me, I will not trade off good standards for good looks, however I would like my significant other to be pleasant to look at. With that being said, I guess the one thing I can give up is geographical boundaries. So, when it comes to the most important element in life (as far as I'm concerned), Love, what would you be willing to give up for that special someone that fits your needs.


The only things i would 'give up' would be those that "I'd" want to give up to be a better person in general, but i don't see that as 'giving something up' i see that as trying to be the best possible version of myself that I can be.

So if my S/O wanted me to 'give up' smoking, i'd hope it was because they wanted ME to take care of MYSELF and be around longer, but if that wasn't their motive and it was primarily "I don't like it" then they can screw off and i'll find someone else.

I think giving up a 'bad habit' is something that i'd like to do regardless if another person wanted me to or not, if the only way to succeed at that is through their support then i'd appreciate it.

If it's just a something that 'bugs' them, at it really has no effect on ME then they can learn to deal with it, as i'm sure i've learned to deal with things of theirs that 'bug' me as well.

I don't think compromise comes in the form of 'giving something up' but instead of in the form of 'i guess i can live with that 'habit' of theirs' so i'd say that the divorce rate would be lower if people instead of adopting a 'compromise' mentality and instead adopted a 'tolerance' mentality it would be a lot better.



Well put, so goes the battle of "he said, she said" Which will give first?

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 06:50 PM

Giving up something for someone you love doesn't always work out for the best, and it changes the dynamic of the relationship , sometimes to the good, sometimes to the bad .. and for me it was bad .

I was married 19 yrs to a man I knew did not like at of things..He was simple..didn't like jewelry, flowers, being romantic.. but I did , and I wanted to be with him..so I gave all that up for him...we wanted children , so for the sake of having healthy children , I had quit drinking and smoking ..also to keep our budget... bad move.. He drank more , smoked more,, and He claimed I was boring , because he lost a drinking partner, smoking partner.. a driver to drive him home from bars..

my hands were tied till my kids were old enough to understand why I left him ..I was the bad guy for yrs till they finally understood what I gave up for them .. my freedom for 15yrs .

So all I can say sure its ok to give something up, compromise to be with someone you love.. but be careful of hidden agendas they might be have for letting you give these up so easily.


Touche' if we could only predict the future, but you do for love what you will for love

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 06:17 PM

oh, is this a "What NEGATIVE HABIT am I going to give up" thread?:

I'll give up swearing.




there ya go :smile:

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 05:44 PM

Doing everything alone, single serving meals, half my bed, that sort of stuff.


Good example of the basics. lol those are things we give up, some are good things

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 05:36 PM



I don't mean to be cruel or even blunt but here goes. You've married at least twice. In at least one of those relationships you gave up something because 'she wouldn't have married me otherwise.'

And you're here, now.

When a partner tells you, 'Change, or else,' you don't have a partner. You have a Master.

Be who you are. Shine at that. :thumbsup:


I would totally get that if I were smoking and she didn't object, but then after we married and the partner suddenly can't tolerate something about you, then that's their bad I guess. There is always room for self improvement, and if it's more important for you to do something you like that your partner does not, and understandably so, don't you think it's a bit selfish to continue doing it rather than make a change to benefit the relationship?
But in a case like that,you can make the argument that maybe the other party should or can change as well!!



exactly, someone would have to give or give up to come to a compromise. Hopefully both of you are willing to do that for the other

needsum12luv's photo
Sun 04/26/15 05:29 PM

Perhaps being mature enough to recognize that you are two INDIVIDUALS CHOOSING to spend time together and not having to give up themselves for each others preferences.
Compromising on certain choices is fine but never giving up important aspects of yourself.
Divorce is sometimes the result of people thinking their mate is an extension of themselves or that they have a certain kind of ownership over the other...frustrated


let me underline IMPORTANT ASPECTS. As in my opening comment, there are somethings I will not give up.

Actually, when you marry, you belong to each other. Hopefully you both give to the relationship to make life more pleasant for your partner. Sometimes that means giving up something that is not as IMPORTANT as your relationship.

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