Topic: Do you own your name?
lilith401's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:12 PM

On another note - WHY are you asking, Miss lilith? flowerforyou


I'm asking because I read a comment earlier today that the "average" man does not like a woman to use her maiden name, either as her middle name or kept as last.

I disagreed.

Sorry, Hiker~ No news for you. flowerforyou

KELLYLS30's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:13 PM



How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why?


how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce?bigsmile


At first I was upset, then it made sense

She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name


i still have my ex-husband's last name. i did it for the same reason. but now, that entire situation has changed. my daughter now has my maiden name, and is legally my sister. is it worth paying to change my name now??? i dont think so.

Jim519's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:14 PM




How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why?


how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce?bigsmile


At first I was upset, then it made sense

She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name


Jim~ I considered that. But then I thought, no way. I can't stand hearing it. Plus he remarried and there should only be one Mrs. SlavetoHisWhims. :wink:

Brian~ I reverted to my maiden name after my divorce and I will never change it. Ever. It's my choice. Any man who wanted me to take his name and took issue with it, I'd question what his views of marriage were.

Property.



I am with you, it's just a name. I also realized it wasnt worth the fight because it may cause some confusion. I couldnt make her change it either way, it was her choice. Which confuses me also...

I like the slavetohiswhims...good stuff laugh

no photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:14 PM
how about if the man had a really bad last name??? id think of a excuse damn quick laugh laugh

hikerchick's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:15 PM


Does it bother anyone that the taking of a man's name has nothing to do with partnership and is a leftover from the days where a wife was property?

I can think of many, many, many reasons to marry a person and the last name doesn't show up on the first several hundred.


There are hundreds of things we do every day that are rooted in something ugly. But over time, those ugly things disappeared, and the traditions evolved into something out of love, respect and honor. Those three virtues are now being replaced with the splitting of hairs and attempts to make beautiful things ugly. I have an issue with that. Everything seems to be so 'oppressive' now. My friend back east got married to a woman who threatened to call off the engagement because she refused to recite the traditional vows of 'love honor and obey'. I mean, seriously... But that's another topic altogether...

I'm a traditional man. I come from a long line of traditional men. I don't see the taking of my last name as letting go of my wife's past, but an embracing of our present and future. If the tradition were the other way around, then fine, I'd drop mine and take hers. The bottom line is that in a marriage you become a family. And families typically have the same surname.

If the taking of a husband's last name is such a big deal, then why stop there? Let's just drop the whole pretense of marriage altogether? I know I'm exaggerating the subject with that statement, I'm just curious as to when the discarding of perfectly beautiful traditions will stop?




in the traditional vow, only the woman promises to obey.

I would run screaming from any man who expected obedience from me.

damnitscloudy's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:16 PM
DARN IT WOMEN BACK INTO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH! laugh

Jim519's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:16 PM




How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why?


how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce?bigsmile


At first I was upset, then it made sense

She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name


i still have my ex-husband's last name. i did it for the same reason. but now, that entire situation has changed. my daughter now has my maiden name, and is legally my sister. is it worth paying to change my name now??? i dont think so.



I would fight to the death if she tried to change my daughters last name now...THat wont happen

How did your daughter turn into your sister?

no photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:16 PM
No bigger...if its important to you then keep it

EtherealEmbers's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:16 PM
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm looking forward to changing mine someday.

hikerchick's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:16 PM
I would pity the fool, too

no photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:16 PM



Does it bother anyone that the taking of a man's name has nothing to do with partnership and is a leftover from the days where a wife was property?

I can think of many, many, many reasons to marry a person and the last name doesn't show up on the first several hundred.


There are hundreds of things we do every day that are rooted in something ugly. But over time, those ugly things disappeared, and the traditions evolved into something out of love, respect and honor. Those three virtues are now being replaced with the splitting of hairs and attempts to make beautiful things ugly. I have an issue with that. Everything seems to be so 'oppressive' now. My friend back east got married to a woman who threatened to call off the engagement because she refused to recite the traditional vows of 'love honor and obey'. I mean, seriously... But that's another topic altogether...

I'm a traditional man. I come from a long line of traditional men. I don't see the taking of my last name as letting go of my wife's past, but an embracing of our present and future. If the tradition were the other way around, then fine, I'd drop mine and take hers. The bottom line is that in a marriage you become a family. And families typically have the same surname.

If the taking of a husband's last name is such a big deal, then why stop there? Let's just drop the whole pretense of marriage altogether? I know I'm exaggerating the subject with that statement, I'm just curious as to when the discarding of perfectly beautiful traditions will stop?




in the traditional vow, only the woman promises to obey.

I would run screaming from any man who expected obedience from me.



laugh laugh laugh I don't think anyone actually expects that. It's a tradition. That's all...

briancarr's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:17 PM




How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why?


how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce?bigsmile


At first I was upset, then it made sense

She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name


Jim~ I considered that. But then I thought, no way. I can't stand hearing it. Plus he remarried and there should only be one Mrs. SlavetoHisWhims. :wink:

Brian~ I reverted to my maiden name after my divorce and I will never change it. Ever. It's my choice. Any man who wanted me to take his name and took issue with it, I'd question what his views of marriage were.

Property.
Every woman has a mans last name anywaybigsmile bigsmile

Jim519's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:17 PM

DARN IT WOMEN BACK INTO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH! laugh



Good luck with that...Keep smoking the pipe laugh

no photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:17 PM

DARN IT WOMEN BACK INTO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH! laugh


tut tut allen laugh laugh laugh

hikerchick's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:17 PM

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm looking forward to changing mine someday.


did it twice and back once..not doing it again. I never know who I am anymore

damnitscloudy's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:18 PM


DARN IT WOMEN BACK INTO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH! laugh



Good luck with that...Keep smoking the pipe laugh


I keep trying, but the lunch meat won't get between the bread itself! And I can't get off the chair! its too far away! laugh

hikerchick's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:18 PM





How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why?


how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce?bigsmile


At first I was upset, then it made sense

She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name


i still have my ex-husband's last name. i did it for the same reason. but now, that entire situation has changed. my daughter now has my maiden name, and is legally my sister. is it worth paying to change my name now??? i dont think so.



I would fight to the death if she tried to change my daughters last name now...THat wont happen

How did your daughter turn into your sister?


I wanted to ask that too but it sounded like too rude of a question.

Hey - I keep hearing "dueling banjos"...

hikerchick's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:19 PM




Does it bother anyone that the taking of a man's name has nothing to do with partnership and is a leftover from the days where a wife was property?

I can think of many, many, many reasons to marry a person and the last name doesn't show up on the first several hundred.


There are hundreds of things we do every day that are rooted in something ugly. But over time, those ugly things disappeared, and the traditions evolved into something out of love, respect and honor. Those three virtues are now being replaced with the splitting of hairs and attempts to make beautiful things ugly. I have an issue with that. Everything seems to be so 'oppressive' now. My friend back east got married to a woman who threatened to call off the engagement because she refused to recite the traditional vows of 'love honor and obey'. I mean, seriously... But that's another topic altogether...

I'm a traditional man. I come from a long line of traditional men. I don't see the taking of my last name as letting go of my wife's past, but an embracing of our present and future. If the tradition were the other way around, then fine, I'd drop mine and take hers. The bottom line is that in a marriage you become a family. And families typically have the same surname.

If the taking of a husband's last name is such a big deal, then why stop there? Let's just drop the whole pretense of marriage altogether? I know I'm exaggerating the subject with that statement, I'm just curious as to when the discarding of perfectly beautiful traditions will stop?




in the traditional vow, only the woman promises to obey.

I would run screaming from any man who expected obedience from me.



laugh laugh laugh I don't think anyone actually expects that. It's a tradition. That's all...


I would not make a vow that I did not mean.

I hate tradition anyway.

lilith401's photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:19 PM

I'm a traditional man. I come from a long line of traditional men. I don't see the taking of my last name as letting go of my wife's past, but an embracing of our present and future. If the tradition were the other way around, then fine, I'd drop mine and take hers. The bottom line is that in a marriage you become a family. And families typically have the same surname.

If the taking of a husband's last name is such a big deal, then why stop there? Let's just drop the whole pretense of marriage altogether? I know I'm exaggerating the subject with that statement, I'm just curious as to when the discarding of perfectly beautiful traditions will stop?


I'm a very traditional woman. Almost sexist in many ways. But in this, it is my choice. In a union of two lives, both should have say in what happens. There are no sons in my family... why is your name staying the same while mine has to change? Why don't you change yours?

And a tradition is only viewed as beautiful if both people entering the union see it as so. I do not see this as ugly, merely archiac and pointless. And one-sided.

no photo
Fri 03/14/08 05:20 PM

Women should the man's name! Because women will take everything a man has anyway, so why not take his name?


Hey? Aren't you the hairy virgin who couldn't get laid because that girl you brought home was hairier then you? That was a week ago.

You failed to mention the part where the two of you got married, then she sued you for divorce, and you are broke and homeless now.laugh