Community > General Discussion

Topic: Do you own your name?
bad_girl Joined Tue 07/17/07 Posts: 67379	Fri 03/14/08 05:05 PM
However each person is comfortable, it is just a name

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Fri 03/14/08 05:05 PM
Does it bother anyone that the taking of a man's name has nothing to do with partnership and is a leftover from the days where a wife was property? I can think of many, many, many reasons to marry a person and the last name doesn't show up on the first several hundred.

LookinRound Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 7894	Fri 03/14/08 05:05 PM
Hhhhmm, I've found this to be a touchy subject in the past. My preference is that I have been Susie Smith for 46 years, if I should get married, I would gladly become Mrs. John Jones. However, I would continue to go by Susie Smith as an individual, in my career, etc. OK those are made up names...but my last name is very important to me and I will continue to use it.

DestinysDream Joined Wed 02/20/08 Posts: 4805	Fri 03/14/08 05:05 PM
I'll go with both changing names. That's what happens with corporations and we are so capitalistic. It might be kind of fun too!

damnitscloudy Joined Sat 04/07/07 Posts: 11293	Fri 03/14/08 05:06 PM
Women should the man's name! Because women will take everything a man has anyway, so why not take his name?

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Fri 03/14/08 05:07 PM
I think when you get married, you should take your husband's last name. What is the point in getting married if you don't even want his last name? are you saying that women only get married to get a new last name??? I think there are a few other factors that might just enter into a decision like that.

FAK Joined Fri 10/19/07 Posts: 7817	Fri 03/14/08 05:08 PM
How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why? how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce? At first I was upset, then it made sense She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name ahhhhh....maybe....have you met my lunachick though Jim??

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Fri 03/14/08 05:08 PM
Does it bother anyone that the taking of a man's name has nothing to do with partnership and is a leftover from the days where a wife was property? I can think of many, many, many reasons to marry a person and the last name doesn't show up on the first several hundred. I remember the first time I got married I was suddenly no longer Nora but Mrs. William..... I HATED that. I felt like I had been dissolved into someone else's identity. On another note - WHY are you asking, Miss lilith?

debbie1980 Joined Sun 09/09/07 Posts: 20487	Fri 03/14/08 05:08 PM
Women should the man's name! Because women will take everything a man has anyway, so why not take his name? whats everything allen?? helloooooooo by the way

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Fri 03/14/08 05:09 PM
it's all about comeing together joining as a team! takes the commitment further i thinK! well, then he can take her name

Jim519 Joined Thu 12/27/07 Posts: 9203	Fri 03/14/08 05:09 PM
How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why? how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce? At first I was upset, then it made sense She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name ahhhhh....maybe....have you met my lunachick though Jim?? Nah....maybe email me the info so I know who to avoid?

damnitscloudy Joined Sat 04/07/07 Posts: 11293	Fri 03/14/08 05:10 PM
Women should the man's name! Because women will take everything a man has anyway, so why not take his name? whats everything allen?? helloooooooo by the way The car, money, even the dog! They take everything! BTW its about time you noticed me

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Fri 03/14/08 05:10 PM
How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why? how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce? actually I did that too,but just for my daughter. I wanted her to feel like she and I were a family.

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Fri 03/14/08 05:11 PM
How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why? how do you feel about a woman keeping her husband's name after divorce? At first I was upset, then it made sense She kept it so my daughter wasnt confused why Mommy had a different last name Jim~ I considered that. But then I thought, no way. I can't stand hearing it. Plus he remarried and there should only be one Mrs. SlavetoHisWhims. Brian~ I reverted to my maiden name after my divorce and I will never change it. Ever. It's my choice. Any man who wanted me to take his name and took issue with it, I'd question what his views of marriage were. Property.

debbie1980 Joined Sun 09/09/07 Posts: 20487	Fri 03/14/08 05:11 PM
Women should the man's name! Because women will take everything a man has anyway, so why not take his name? whats everything allen?? helloooooooo by the way The car, money, even the dog! They take everything! BTW its about time you noticed me i dont, ive met some men who are so stingy with money its untrue how are you???

WarDriverJ Joined Wed 09/19/07 Posts: 7571	Fri 03/14/08 05:11 PM
Both of my sisters changed their last name when they first got married. My older sister on her second marriage just hyphenated her last name and my other sister just kept her maiden last name.

msnj52 Joined Sun 09/16/07 Posts: 9893	Fri 03/14/08 05:12 PM
Does it bother anyone that the taking of a man's name has nothing to do with partnership and is a leftover from the days where a wife was property? I can think of many, many, many reasons to marry a person and the last name doesn't show up on the first several hundred. Yes, I see it as a sign of male 'ownership', just like the gut above who equates marriage to buying a car.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Fri 03/14/08 05:12 PM
How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why? The same way i would feel if i paid cash for a car, and the dealer kept the title. yeah, that will get you a lot of dates, oh enlightened one.

rtaylor74 Joined Sun 01/20/08 Posts: 1188	Fri 03/14/08 05:12 PM
Does it bother anyone that the taking of a man's name has nothing to do with partnership and is a leftover from the days where a wife was property? I can think of many, many, many reasons to marry a person and the last name doesn't show up on the first several hundred. There are hundreds of things we do every day that are rooted in something ugly. But over time, those ugly things disappeared, and the traditions evolved into something out of love, respect and honor. Those three virtues are now being replaced with the splitting of hairs and attempts to make beautiful things ugly. I have an issue with that. Everything seems to be so 'oppressive' now. My friend back east got married to a woman who threatened to call off the engagement because she refused to recite the traditional vows of 'love honor and obey'. I mean, seriously... But that's another topic altogether... I'm a traditional man. I come from a long line of traditional men. I don't see the taking of my last name as letting go of my wife's past, but an embracing of our present and future. If the tradition were the other way around, then fine, I'd drop mine and take hers. The bottom line is that in a marriage you become a family. And families typically have the same surname. If the taking of a husband's last name is such a big deal, then why stop there? Let's just drop the whole pretense of marriage altogether? I know I'm exaggerating the subject with that statement, I'm just curious as to when the discarding of perfectly beautiful traditions will stop?

Fade2Black Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 50752	Fri 03/14/08 05:12 PM
How do you feel about a woman keeping her maiden name after marriage? Why? I think a woman should do as she pleases. If she wants to keep it let her. If not, so be it. Peace out