Community > General Discussion

Topic: Do you own your name?
AaronzDad Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 10182	Sat 03/15/08 03:26 PM
OK, those of you arguing for NOT changing names after marriage... What if it was important to your partner? A symbolic gesture of "Two shall become one"? The "if you love me you would..." argument cuts both ways. it would cut both ways if I were asking him to change his name. I wouldn't do that, and neither should he. So you don't care if it's meaningful to him?

lulu24 Joined Sun 02/11/07 Posts: 6033	Sat 03/15/08 03:32 PM
you know, it also depends on the name... i wouldn't give up mine for neimenheimer no matter HOW much i was in love... but it still remains that i am sticking with this one for my babies.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Sat 03/15/08 03:41 PM
OK, those of you arguing for NOT changing names after marriage... What if it was important to your partner? A symbolic gesture of "Two shall become one"? The "if you love me you would..." argument cuts both ways. it would cut both ways if I were asking him to change his name. I wouldn't do that, and neither should he. So you don't care if it's meaningful to him? I probably would not be attracted to a guy like that in first place. I am not in to symbolic gestures, especially if they revolve around archaic traditions. I am so non-traditional it isn't funny. I usually am not drawn to men who favor traditional roles.

AaronzDad Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 10182	Sat 03/15/08 03:57 PM
I find this all a fascinating discussion because there isn't any "right" answer - yet many people are quite adamant that theirs IS the "RIGHT ANSWER".

lulu24 Joined Sun 02/11/07 Posts: 6033	Sat 03/15/08 03:59 PM
I find this all a fascinating discussion because there isn't any "right" answer - yet many people are quite adamant that theirs IS the "RIGHT ANSWER". of course not; it depends on the dynamics of the relationship...and every relationship is different.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Sat 03/15/08 04:00 PM
I find this all a fascinating discussion because there isn't any "right" answer - yet many people are quite adamant that theirs IS the "RIGHT ANSWER". I don't think there is any right answer. For all my big talk, I married twice and changed my name both times. But I just don't think it is something that a woman should HAVE to do. I am all for free choice. And I don't think I would do it again. (so don't ask me to!)

starryeyed346 Joined Thu 02/14/08 Posts: 412	Sat 03/15/08 04:04 PM
I want to keep my name. End of story. I have yet to find a man who wouldnt mind taking it. I think I've found one, but I would feel bad about people looking at him like hes *****-whipped... taking a womans name. sigh. society... eat me

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Sat 03/15/08 04:07 PM
I want to keep my name. End of story. I have yet to find a man who wouldnt mind taking it. I think I've found one, but I would feel bad about people looking at him like hes *****-whipped... taking a womans name. sigh. society... eat me he should tell those people to worry about their own lives. I think it takes a very strong man to buck tradition.

AaronzDad Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 10182	Sat 03/15/08 04:10 PM
I want to keep my name. End of story. Why is that?

LadyOfMagic Joined Fri 09/29/06 Posts: 4957	Sat 03/15/08 04:14 PM
My mom is the MOST important person in my life..My last name is her last name so yep..I'm keepin it!..I might do that double last name thing tho..I can't spell the word for what I'm talkin about but y'all know what I mean...Plus I probably won't have to worry about marriage names and all that anyways.

adj4u Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 21254	Sat 03/15/08 04:20 PM
OK, those of you arguing for NOT changing names after marriage... What if it was important to your partner? A symbolic gesture of "Two shall become one"? The "if you love me you would..." argument cuts both ways. my children come first. we share a name...and i intend to keep it that way. emotional blackmail just isn't fair. i agree here and what name should the kids go by sounds like a cluster waiting to happen not to mention genealogy nightmare especially when looking for medical records

lulu24 Joined Sun 02/11/07 Posts: 6033	Sat 03/15/08 04:22 PM
OK, those of you arguing for NOT changing names after marriage... What if it was important to your partner? A symbolic gesture of "Two shall become one"? The "if you love me you would..." argument cuts both ways. my children come first. we share a name...and i intend to keep it that way. emotional blackmail just isn't fair. i agree here and what name should the kids go by sounds like a cluster waiting to happen not to mention genealogy nightmare especially when looking for medical records my children and i have my ex's last name...when i married, i did change mine. now, however...i owe it to them to STAY the way i am...i wouldn't require them to switch or to have to explain why mom has one name and they have another. of course, i don't ever intend to marry again while they are young...so it's kind of a moot point.

AaronzDad Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 10182	Sat 03/15/08 04:42 PM
not to mention genealogy nightmare especially when looking for medical records Yes adj, you have a point... but in the modern era of computerized everything and massive data banks is that so much an issue?

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Sat 03/15/08 04:45 PM
not to mention genealogy nightmare especially when looking for medical records Yes adj, you have a point... but in the modern era of computerized everything and massive data banks is that so much an issue? You get an SSN at birth. You can find anyone.

AaronzDad Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 10182	Sat 03/15/08 05:33 PM
Hmmm... I was hoping Starryeyed would 'splain herself.

msnj52 Joined Sun 09/16/07 Posts: 9893	Sat 03/15/08 05:36 PM
you know, it also depends on the name... i wouldn't give up mine for neimenheimer no matter HOW much i was in love... but it still remains that i am sticking with this one for my babies. I agree. I had a friend named Jennings...nice ordinary name, she married someone called Munsterer....now which would you rather be called>

AaronzDad Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 10182	Sat 03/15/08 05:43 PM
I can't find a woman willing to take my last name... Is "Rottencrotch" really so bad??

starryeyed346 Joined Thu 02/14/08 Posts: 412	Sat 03/15/08 07:03 PM
My family is huge.. and my father didnt have any sons. its just my sister and i passing on the legacy... and my sister got married to some chump and sold her soul. actually... jon said he wouldnt mind taking my last name. I think he got teased in high school for his own... and doesnt care much for it. Jon turner could be pleasant

cutelildevilsmom Joined Sat 04/07/07 Posts: 8862	Sat 03/15/08 07:16 PM
you know, it also depends on the name... i wouldn't give up mine for neimenheimer no matter HOW much i was in love... but it still remains that i am sticking with this one for my babies. I agree. I had a friend named Jennings...nice ordinary name, she married someone called Munsterer....now which would you rather be called> jackie

Dragoness Joined Wed 10/17/07 Posts: 23320	Sat 03/15/08 07:19 PM
I took my husbands last name but I think either or is alright.