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| Topic: Am I A Ho-bag? | |
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This has been bothering me, so I need some opinions...
Since my divorce I've dated about six or seven women (I was divorced last December, 2006). I always start these relationships with good intentions. The problem is that almost immediatley after I have sex with a woman, I lose interest in them, to the point that I don't want to speak to them. I am never a **** about breaking it off, in fact, I've stayed friends with several of them. I just don't understand it. Regardless of whether the sex is incredible, or mediocre, the results are the same. A friend of mine said that I'm addicted to the chase, and when the chase is over (usually no more than two or three dates), it's on to the next conquest. I think I'm just not meeting a woman who is "sweeping me off my feet". Do any of you experience this? Is it a phase of divorce (I'm still A LITTLE hung up on my wife, mostly jealousy)? I am not an ass hole, and not proud of these CONQUESTS, as many people would put it. Opinions? |
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If you are still hung up on your ex, why are you dating?
That makes no sense to me at all. Nor does your willingness to have sex with women that you do not care for. I'd say that makes your selfish and callous, not a hoe-bag. I'd suggest getting right with yourself before you start involving other, unsuspecting and undeserving people in your problems. |
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MAN WHORE!
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man u got long arms,,,,stop patting urself on ur back,,,,,rember an old saying,,,,,,,,,what comes around,,,,,,,,,,goes around
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wow.....
I haven't had enough experience to give any advice, but I will say that I think you need some 'you' time. Time without women, sex or 'the chase'.Time to regroup and re-focus. But no....I wouldn't call you a ho-bag...  |
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I'm not hung up on my wife... it's just a little petty jesalousy... it's a guy thing... I can see where this is going.
What am I supposed to do, sit on my ass? Like I said, I'm never cruel about breaking it off. I'm friends with almost all of them... I'm convinced the right one is out there, and I'm not gonna find her by sitting on my ass! |
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This has been bothering me, so I need some opinions... Since my divorce I've dated about six or seven women (I was divorced last December, 2006). I always start these relationships with good intentions. The problem is that almost immediatley after I have sex with a woman, I lose interest in them, to the point that I don't want to speak to them. I am never a **** about breaking it off, in fact, I've stayed friends with several of them. I just don't understand it. Regardless of whether the sex is incredible, or mediocre, the results are the same. A friend of mine said that I'm addicted to the chase, and when the chase is over (usually no more than two or three dates), it's on to the next conquest. I think I'm just not meeting a woman who is "sweeping me off my feet". Do any of you experience this? Is it a phase of divorce (I'm still A LITTLE hung up on my wife, mostly jealousy)? I am not an ass hole, and not proud of these CONQUESTS, as many people would put it. Opinions? yea you are a ho-bag....but considering the women you've been seeing give it up on the 2nd or 3rd date... Don't be too hard on yourself~ Good Luck ~ |
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Look, everyone does the rebound thing. Or most people I should say have at one point or another. Its all part of healing. Besides, if these women are sleeping with you before you are established in a relationship and completely mutually in love, then Im sorry but they should know they are taking a risk of getting hurt. Im not saying I think what you have done is necessarily right, but I dont think you are doing it purposely either, so I dont think you are a hoebag. I do agree with everyone else though, that maybe you need to work on some things before you play with other peoples hearts, ya know?
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If you are jealous of your wife, then you still have feelings for her. It's worse than other feelings.
You're never going to find the right person until you are right with yourself. If that requires "sitting on your ass" then so be it. I'm thinking myself and the other posters are referring to you doing something more along the lines of self-introspection and developing a positive relationship with yourself. |
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This has been bothering me, so I need some opinions... Since my divorce I've dated about six or seven women (I was divorced last December, 2006). I always start these relationships with good intentions. The problem is that almost immediatley after I have sex with a woman, I lose interest in them, to the point that I don't want to speak to them. I am never a **** about breaking it off, in fact, I've stayed friends with several of them. I just don't understand it. Regardless of whether the sex is incredible, or mediocre, the results are the same. A friend of mine said that I'm addicted to the chase, and when the chase is over (usually no more than two or three dates), it's on to the next conquest. I think I'm just not meeting a woman who is "sweeping me off my feet". Do any of you experience this? Is it a phase of divorce (I'm still A LITTLE hung up on my wife, mostly jealousy)? I am not an ass hole, and not proud of these CONQUESTS, as many people would put it. Opinions? yea you are a ho-bag....but considering the women you've been seeing give it up on the 2nd or 3rd date... Don't be too hard on yourself~ Good Luck ~ Isn't two or three dates rule of thumb in this day and age? I sure as hell don't force myself, and to me "no means no". |
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If you are jealous of your wife, then you still have feelings for her. It's worse than other feelings. You're never going to find the right person until you are right with yourself. If that requires "sitting on your ass" then so be it. I'm thinking myself and the other posters are referring to you doing something more along the lines of self-introspection and developing a positive relationship with yourself. I have been thinking of the "me time" thing. In fact, the last couple of weeks, I've just gone out with friends, and it's been actually nice waking up alone. I think after my divorce it almost seemed like a competition, and that is flat out wrong. Maybe I just needed some people to tell me I'm a scumbag. |
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This has been bothering me, so I need some opinions... Since my divorce I've dated about six or seven women (I was divorced last December, 2006). I always start these relationships with good intentions. The problem is that almost immediatley after I have sex with a woman, I lose interest in them, to the point that I don't want to speak to them. I am never a **** about breaking it off, in fact, I've stayed friends with several of them. I just don't understand it. Regardless of whether the sex is incredible, or mediocre, the results are the same. A friend of mine said that I'm addicted to the chase, and when the chase is over (usually no more than two or three dates), it's on to the next conquest. I think I'm just not meeting a woman who is "sweeping me off my feet". Do any of you experience this? Is it a phase of divorce (I'm still A LITTLE hung up on my wife, mostly jealousy)? I am not an ass hole, and not proud of these CONQUESTS, as many people would put it. Opinions? yea you are a ho-bag....but considering the women you've been seeing give it up on the 2nd or 3rd date... Don't be too hard on yourself~ Good Luck ~ Isn't two or three dates rule of thumb in this day and age? I sure as hell don't force myself, and to me "no means no". hence here's your mistake .. (and really what is the answer to you asking everyone if you are aa ho-bag )... But kudos to you for knowing the meaning of "no" |
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why dont you try spending time with yourself for awhile? Stop chasing, stop distracting away from your feelings..divorce isnt an easy thing to get over, and you dont get over loosing one partner by looking for another to replace her.
Get to know yourself, learn to live alone with yourself..then maybe when you start dating you'll have higher standards for yourself than just the chase and another notch on your belt and find something/someone more meaningful in your life. |
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Regardless of what happens it's just how it works. I totally get the "male" thing, cause I was the same way. It's territorial, it, like anything else, fades with time.
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I went through the same thing as you, although I have finally got a grasp on this. ALthough my feelings for my ex are just that I wish her true happiness. I dont have any emotions or jealosuy towards her. I wish her well in her endeavors..
I have a lot that I am going through, such as my career, being a single Father, working on purchasing a new home for my daughter and I, so on, so on....I had hurt a few good women that did not deserve it becasue of my actions...It wasnt fair to them at all. So I took it upon myself to stop, I have "seen" a few women casually, but we both have the understanding that it is just casual and my honesty was upfront in saying what I want and expect out of this. As long as you are honest and dont lead anyone on, focus on your life and do not intenionally hurt anyone, you'll be fine...But get your focus straight... |
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It's definetley getting old. I think some of you are missing the point... I get it that this behavior is wrong. So what do I do in the meantime? Divorced folks-- how long does it take?
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It's definetley getting old. I think some of you are missing the point... I get it that this behavior is wrong. So what do I do in the meantime? Divorced folks-- how long does it take? Right there is part of your problem Your "expecting" a time frame or looking for one. Everyone is different, you need to get a hold of what you want. What are your goals? Until you are happy and content in yourself, it will never happen |
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(((Jim))) You are a very wise man
It's definetley getting old. I think some of you are missing the point... I get it that this behavior is wrong. So what do I do in the meantime? Divorced folks-- how long does it take? Right there is part of your problem Your "expecting" a time frame or looking for one. Everyone is different, you need to get a hold of what you want. What are your goals? Until you are happy and content in yourself, it will never happen |
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It's definetley getting old. I think some of you are missing the point... I get it that this behavior is wrong. So what do I do in the meantime? Divorced folks-- how long does it take? the longer you run away from dealing with your feelings about being divorced the longer its going to "take"... |
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Start having sex on the first date and then the women who hold out until date #3 will seem like keepers.
Actually, don't do that.  You just haven't found the right one yet. It might be prudent to not have sex with women whom you don't intend to engage in a relationship unless they know this is your intention prior to the "mounting." We all know in our heart whether someone is "built" for us or not. I'd wager that you knew exactly what you were doing and went through with the sex anyway. It's an adjustment but you can do it brother. good luck man |
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