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Topic: Am I A Ho-bag?
no photo
Sun 03/02/08 10:32 AM
Yeah. I mean... you can fool around a bit, but you'd tend to want to get to know the other person a little more before you try anything like sex. That way, you'll get a better indication of whether or not the other person is actually what you're looking for.

It'll also help cut back on any missed signals that may take place if you DO have a one-nighter... like if one party is drawn to the other, but not vice-versa.

hellkitten54's photo
Sun 03/02/08 10:33 AM

He's a HO


laugh laugh laugh laugh drinker smokin

no photo
Sun 03/02/08 10:35 AM
slut

cdaddy's photo
Sun 03/02/08 10:36 AM
if you think you're a ho-bag....you're a ho-bag

if you don't then you're not


who shives a git what other people think about you anyway.

what you should be askin yourself is why you started a thread like this and then hauled a$$.

no photo
Sun 03/02/08 10:44 AM
drinker :heart: YOUR just living life.
Now as to YOU leaving each one after two or three dates, that could be a inner fear of commitment, or fear of THE HURT that your commitment to your ex, made you feel...?
But if you have compassion and heart, then YOU can feel love again, but IF YOU THINK, these ladies as NOT GOOD ENOUGH for you, then YOU have a problem.
You can MISS some very beautiful hearts if your's is locked closed.drinker :heart: smokin GOOD LUCK!

ladyliz1417's photo
Sun 03/02/08 10:45 AM
look around you. Eveyone has a friend who is a ho-bag. If u dont see any, that means that YOU are the ho-bag!laugh

johnnie173's photo
Sun 03/02/08 11:49 AM
Well thanks to some of you for some really good advice... I think it's probably time for some "me" time.
Also, thanks to you who decided to tear me a new one without seeing things from my perspective...
1. If I was a real scumbag, I wouldn't feel that what I was doing was wrong ,and continue to do it.
2. Don't judge someone until you know what they've been through.
3. Some of you really did your research on me, and yes, I have admitted several times that divorce sucks, I'm not sure what I'm looking for right now, and I'm obviously having trouble committing to someone for the first time in my life. I have NEVER gone through a promiscuous phase like this, and I'm not proud of it.
4. These women I've dated-- I didn't rape, or force myself on any of them. Many times they were the agressor. Not an excuse, just a fact. Meaningless sex is a two way street, and when alcohol is involved? Well you know the rest of the story.
5. If i was the "Grade A" ass hole many of you think I am, would I still be friends with, in some cases very good friends with, several of the womwn I dated? No. I never would have associated with them again.
Remember what I stated originally--- This is something I view as a problem. I was asking if other divorced people went through this kind of phase, and asking for advice on what to do/expect.
Now, I'll crawl back into my puddle.
It's really nice to take personal shots at somebody without knowing them other than a few random posts.
I'm actually known among friends and family as an honest, trustworthy, stand up guy. This behavior is totally out of character for me.
Remind me never to seek advice here again. Some of you seem really bitter and angry over a few simple questions... and yes I can take it... brass balls

Lily0923's photo
Sun 03/02/08 11:56 AM
My friend does the same thing...and I tell him...STOP SLEEPING WITH WOMEN ON THE FIRST FEW DATES..... This should solve alot of problems... you still have the conquest while getting to know them, and then you will actually know if you like them or just want to f*ck them... both are ok... just don't twist them up....

no photo
Sun 03/02/08 12:04 PM

My friend does the same thing...and I tell him...STOP SLEEPING WITH WOMEN ON THE FIRST FEW DATES..... This should solve alot of problems... you still have the conquest while getting to know them, and then you will actually know if you like them or just want to f*ck them... both are ok... just don't twist them up....
drinker :heart: NOW,,,THATS what im talkin bout!!!
Great words great lady.....lol:heart:
AND, it is a hard thing to do sometimes,lol,lol..:wink:

texasrose9's photo
Sun 03/02/08 12:52 PM
Edited by texasrose9 on Sun 03/02/08 12:53 PM

Well, OP, I perved your profile to see how you present yourself...
You do say you are not looking for anything serious, just want to meet and have some fun....

you have only been apart from your Ex for a relatively short time, so you are out there testing the waters so to speak....losing interest just indicates you are not ready for committment & your body is telling you that....feeling jealous about your Ex doing the same thing you are doing is another indicator that you have not cleaned out your past and therefore not ready to commit...

having sex with someone either the first, second, or third time you meet is a decision the two of you make...after all you are both adults....so for any of us to sit here judging you based on that is unnecessary....

I think Lilith has pointed out many things about your point of view and personality that you should take into consideration especially if you want to grow as a person...sometimes the best advice given is the hardest to receive...think about what she has told you...:smile:


This is all true. The other thing to consider is whether you are doing this to prove something to yourself, or more so...to your ex... as you indicated your ex is sleeping around all over the place. Clearly, you are not ready to get involved with anyone, and that will take time.

EtherealEmbers's photo
Sun 03/02/08 12:59 PM
Edited by EtherealEmbers on Sun 03/02/08 01:01 PM
Getting under someone new will not help you get over your ex... time heals all wounds and you'll have to face whatever issues you have over your ex until you learn from your mistakes. So many people make the mistake of bringing all their screw ups with them wherever they go and they keep messing up every potential relationship from then on. Relationships take two people. Figure out what you did wrong in it, and work on that before you lay every chick in sight and regret it later. Eventually, if not now, you will regret it. In the meantime, try to keep it in your pants.

scttrbrain's photo
Sun 03/02/08 08:41 PM

Well thanks to some of you for some really good advice... I think it's probably time for some "me" time.
Also, thanks to you who decided to tear me a new one without seeing things from my perspective...
1. If I was a real scumbag, I wouldn't feel that what I was doing was wrong ,and continue to do it.
2. Don't judge someone until you know what they've been through.
3. Some of you really did your research on me, and yes, I have admitted several times that divorce sucks, I'm not sure what I'm looking for right now, and I'm obviously having trouble committing to someone for the first time in my life. I have NEVER gone through a promiscuous phase like this, and I'm not proud of it.
4. These women I've dated-- I didn't rape, or force myself on any of them. Many times they were the agressor. Not an excuse, just a fact. Meaningless sex is a two way street, and when alcohol is involved? Well you know the rest of the story.
5. If i was the "Grade A" ass hole many of you think I am, would I still be friends with, in some cases very good friends with, several of the womwn I dated? No. I never would have associated with them again.
Remember what I stated originally--- This is something I view as a problem. I was asking if other divorced people went through this kind of phase, and asking for advice on what to do/expect.
Now, I'll crawl back into my puddle.
It's really nice to take personal shots at somebody without knowing them other than a few random posts.
I'm actually known among friends and family as an honest, trustworthy, stand up guy. This behavior is totally out of character for me.
Remind me never to seek advice here again. Some of you seem really bitter and angry over a few simple questions... and yes I can take it... brass balls


Oh oh oh "brass balls". I never intended to insult or make light of your post. I apologize if I did.
Katflowerforyou

brooke007's photo
Mon 03/03/08 12:09 AM
were you faithful when you were married?? because to me, a hoe is someone who cheats or will just sleep with anything that moves... going through divorce sucks, so you just gotta think, what next?? what do YOU want next?? and furthermore, the chase isnt over till you got the woman you want with a ring on her finger, dont settle for less, darlin, and just walk away if its not what you want, but be careful not to hurt others along the way, cuz KARMA sux!! if you just want to ****, find someone who just want that!! if you want more, then... dont go out with people to pass the time

smuflicker's photo
Mon 03/03/08 01:14 AM

(((Jim))) You are a very wise man


It's definetley getting old. I think some of you are missing the point... I get it that this behavior is wrong. So what do I do in the meantime? Divorced folks-- how long does it take?


Right there is part of your problem

Your "expecting" a time frame or looking for one. Everyone is different, you need to get a hold of what you want. What are your goals? Until you are happy and content in yourself, it will never happen

I totaly agree here

Engraven_Image's photo
Mon 03/03/08 01:19 AM

This has been bothering me, so I need some opinions...
Since my divorce I've dated about six or seven women (I was divorced last December, 2006). I always start these relationships with good intentions. The problem is that almost immediatley after I have sex with a woman, I lose interest in them, to the point that I don't want to speak to them.
I am never a **** about breaking it off, in fact, I've stayed friends with several of them.
I just don't understand it. Regardless of whether the sex is incredible, or mediocre, the results are the same.
A friend of mine said that I'm addicted to the chase, and when the chase is over (usually no more than two or three dates), it's on to the next conquest.
I think I'm just not meeting a woman who is "sweeping me off my feet".
Do any of you experience this? Is it a phase of divorce (I'm still A LITTLE hung up on my wife, mostly jealousy)?
I am not an ass hole, and not proud of these CONQUESTS, as many people would put it.
Opinions?
Maybe women are not satisfying you anymore! Maybe you're g@y!laugh laugh laugh

beerchen's photo
Mon 03/03/08 01:32 AM

It's definetley getting old. I think some of you are missing the point... I get it that this behavior is wrong. So what do I do in the meantime? Divorced folks-- how long does it take?

You're not gonna like this answer, but it takes as long as it takes.
Getting a divorce for whatever the reasons are still posesses a time of grieving, whether you want to admit it or not. You have made a loss, that being your marriage.
Maybe instead of going around the problem by trying to start anew quickly, you should deal with it first. You are telling us that forming a romatic relationship hasn't worked out for you this last year. I think you need to find out why that truely is. I can sit here and talk till i'm blue, but it is you in the end how has to do the thinking, the adjusting, the feeling and accepting your loss not only in your heart, but also in your head. ( or the other way around)

Talk to the friends that you can count on not blowing you some bull and will give you some constructive discussion. I'd start there.

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