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| Topic: daughter 16 did it in back seat | |
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sorry didnt mean to sound mean i just can't believe a 12 yr old is that uninformed.
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sorry didnt mean to sound mean i just can't believe a 12 yr old is that uninformed. Same here. |
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i have talked to both my kids since they were old enough to ask questions which was around 5/6.My son doesnt know how babies are made but everyone at daycare knows where they come out..lil stinker.
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besides if she is going around having sex with the guy your problem should not be with the guy but you girl. She didn't come home crying about being raped she came home hiding the fact she just had sex with a 19yr old guy in a backseat some where. Your problem should be with the fact your girl is leting herself be used by men for nothing more then a one night stand. Take yourself away from the fact that this is your girl and look at it from the point of the guy. You need to find out what is going on with your girl that she feels the need to have sex with someone she just met and does not know at all.  .... I've been watching this thread, not knowing exactly what to say... I had sex at a very young age, but mine was not to "please" someone else. If your daughter is upset about the goings on...she has self esteem issues that you need to address. She needs counseling and needs it quickly.... and along with what Daniel said...most states the age of consent is either 15 or 16 with 4 years ie...15 and a 19, 16 and a 20 y o... so this was not rape...but again it is different in different states...but MOST states this is the case. I understand how fathers think and feel about daughters.... I was someones daughter, and had 3 big brothers to boot... one was even a cop in the city that we lived. YOur daughter did this willingly.... you need to focus on helping her and your anger at some 19 y o that is young dumb and full of c*m.... it is misplaced..... If I look at your profile and do the math... you were a father before this young man.... you were him once. thank u thank u for hwat u just wrote..... from a mother of a 18 and 19 yr old sons..... they are NOT all rapist...... and the young girls don't always tell their parents everything....in fear of how the parents are going to react....our young girls as someone posted in another thread are developing at a much faster rate than a few decades ago...times are also changing... all I can say is I spend a lot of time with a lot of teens, they come to me for answers, and quidance, not their own parents, because of the reactions, to the mistakes that they get themselves into....I'm pretty confident enough to say..that I am sure she was telling him she loved him to,,and again to say she isn't going to admit it.... I have seen so many really really nice 16 yr old girls spreading them.....some may get used...some may not... This is life as we all know it as being a teenager. For 2 months you as parents aloud him to be near ur daughter.You aparently like him.Now that you found out that he did your daughter in the back seat of a chevy you are all about him being the bad guy... THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I TAUGHT MY SONS.CHOOSE WISELY BECAUSE PUSH COMES TO SHOVE..YOU WILL GET ALL THE BLAME. U WILL BE LOOKED AT AS SCUM NO MATTER WHAT.... I will say it again..YOU alllowed this boy near ur daughter.You allowed you daughter around this boy....did you really think they wouldn't get it on... There is a higher majority of sexually active kids...than not...thats a fact... please understand I am not shouting here at you.I feel for you...there is a big "but" here though.. This post has been going on for days.....I am now going to continue to read the rest of the threads... I do have a few more things to say....I hope when I write you will consider what I am saying and start figuring out how to work with your daughter to have the open commuication that is so imperative...and stop with all the 'RAPE" stuff... No rape from what I have read so far from ppl or the parent has taken place..... |
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Tell her to stay in school so she doesn't end up with the poor grammar skills that you have. Sorry but I can't even get past the first two pages without getting a headache trying to understand the sentences.
I was 16, almost 17 when I lost my virginity and I was always told to wait till marriage. I did use protection however and it was in my bed at home while on work break and no-one was home. I totally regret my decision now but I was with him for a year when we took that plunge and I stayed with him another year after the fact. Instead of giving her the condoms and saying I know you'll do it someday so here have these, you needed to talk to her about the physical aspects and the emotions involved. Sex is a highly emotional thing for young girls, that's how she was stooped so easily. You need to sit down with her again and tell her even though she did it this once she doesn't have to do it again and if a guy respects her then he'll wait as long as she wants to. Besides there's other ways to please a teen boy sexually. If you ask me, there's some other issues she is dealing with inside and has some emotional strain. She might need to talk to someone about issues she's having so put that out there on the table. Tell her she can go to the school counselor if she feels more comfortable and she doesn't have to use names or anything. |
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This is a totally different day and age.I pride myself in being open with my 17 year old daughter.We talked about sex,I took her to the doctoto be put on birth control, I bought it for her, and I even reminded her every day to take. Well, guess what, she got pregnant a few months ago. She did end up having a misacarriage. I thought I did everything right and this didn't happen to families like mine, but guess what it did. It isn't your fault, your daughter is still going to do what she wants to do.
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16 is way too young to be experiencing this kind of behavior.abstinance is the only answer,until they are both legally married,or they are both of legal,consenting age! Some of that I agree with.. others I don't. I mean the average age of marriage is now like 30 in this country. It was good and all back when people got married when they were 16 but times are a bit different. Legal age is a must though. |
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16 is way too young to be experiencing this kind of behavior.abstinance is the only answer,until they are both legally married,or they are both of legal,consenting age! I did it when I was 17 and she was 23...and trust me I'm fine... I say 16 is realistic nowadays. Abstinence?? lol You've got to be kidding me... |
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My ex-step dau was 12, in the 7th grade, and got busted giving bj's to multiple guys, 13-14yo, in a classroom after school. Her mom, my ex-, thought it was funny. The dau and I had a pretty long talk about sex and its repurcussions, over the ex's objections...the let her learn on her own sydrome. I provided her with condoms, and a cucumber to practice on, and answered every question she asked about it, techniques and all. She kept giving bj's to whomever until we div and they moved away. According to her and her hubby, she was virgin at 20 when she got married. You have to be open and non-judgemental about this topic with your kids. After all, I was 13 when I first got it on...lol...and my folks never knew anything about my sex life 'cause they did not want to hear it and would have blown up. sorry for the book  Interesting. Did you ask her why she was doing it? Peer pressure? Curiosity? because her friends were doing it? I don't see that a s a 12 years old behaviour...but I've herad of oral sex being almost considered "non sex" nowadays. that is weird. |
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Oral is what they do now if they don't want to take the big leap. I just don't think kids understand you can still get Stds that way.
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i was 13 he was 18 when i first did it and kids theses days are doing it at young ages and its bad they should wait till there older i wish i had waited with the myspace thing im 19 and have every thing blocked but my friends on there thats i all i talk to is my firends
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I watched a real concerning movie last night on Lifetime. It was about a middle school that had a breakout of syphilis. The main character was a fourteen year old. There's another one on next Thursday evening, same network, called, "Thirteen" that sounds interesting. My twelve year old just started noticing boys. Ug!! I found a bulletin on her myspace entitled "Horny prep". I'm already having to address the issues with her at 12! Ohhh, nooo. I have a friend that has a 14 y/o daughter on MySpace and he doesn't like what's happening on there with her. He wants her off of MySpace but she lives with her mother and the mother doesn't care. the name of the movie is Shes to young which actually fits this situation |
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you know what heres is an idea teach her to respect her self and her body talk to her tell her your concerns and let her have an open honest conversation with you guys without anyone being judgmental after all she is 16 so its not like you cant have a conversation with her and if she doesnt want to talk to you there is someone she will talk to more than likely a frineds parent lord knows i never talked to my mom about sex but i always talked to my aunt becuase she would never judge me or look at me like i was stupid for asking questions
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my son is nine last year he came home telling me he knew all about sex, after a chit chat with him we discussed in basic, all the pros and cons of sex, i got him a book made for children his age all about sex and the good and bad, about his body changing etc, and i also dicussed age, protection etc nothing heavy but enough to quell his curiosity...which i feel can be part of kids problems is we dont discuss it enough with them so they feel the need to find out themselves and not in a good way
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not condoning but i wonder how many posters in this thread have done it at 16
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how old is 16 really?
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Edited by
scttrbrain
on
Thu 02/21/08 09:20 AM
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I was 17 and still regret it. It was for him to make him happy. I truly think it changed my feelings about sex altogether. I married him had his child and was never ever happy. I mean...I had his baby then married him. We lived together beforehand. Everyone thought (parents) we were married. We lied. Living together then was so not in fashion.
My niece came to me when she had her first sexual encounter. She was so upset and scared. It happened in a car at the skating rink. When we talked I found out sghe absolutely knew nothing. Nothing people...abstinance was taught in her school. WHAT A JOKE!!! That was all she knew. JUST DO NOT HAVE SEX! Whatever... She did not know all the ways to get aids and std's and proper anything. I talked to her mom the other day about getting her on birth control soon. All I got was : no, then she will think it is okay. I said...what? She is going to do it soon enough and better safe than sorry. Are you ready to be a grandmother? Do you want her to get her education and learn to take care of herself or end up unhappy, tied down to a guy or absentee father and accidental child for the next 18 years? Hello... As a parent it is your obligation to protect her and give her life chances. She told me yesterday that her, dad and daughter talked about getting her on birth control. Now...the trick is to make her understand just because she is on birth control doesn't mean she does not cover up. Sad thing is these kids are not doing that. They think they can't get pregnant and therefore birth control is good enough. When I was a kid we were taught everything they knew about sexual activity in school. It was embarrasing but we were taught. Abstinance is a joke. A joke. Not gonna happen as a reality. I mean not too many are going to do that. My niece told me all about all the kids in school having sex on a regualr basis. And she was 14 when she was telling me this. It is time as parents and family members to step up and protect our kids. It takes a village. Kat |
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not condoning but i wonder how many posters in this thread have done it at 16 not me but my daughter did. |
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Oral is what they do now if they don't want to take the big leap. I just don't think kids understand you can still get Stds that way. sadly you are right and thats because they think oral is not sex they dont realize it is but alot of times it is because no one explained it to them |
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Shouldn't matter if you let her go or not...in Michigan (where I'm from) it DOES NOT MATTER if the parrent let's it happen....it's statutory rape NO MATTER WHAT!! and he WILL get busted and then have to go on the Sexual Predators file at the State Police Department..... IT is reasonable cause of STATUTORY RAPE, but how big do want to make this.. i mean my best advice is to talk to her..tell her how u feel about what happen. and but make her trust u to talk about things like this..that way u`ll know what is happening to her, the more u tell her no the more she`ll run away from u time to talk about responsIBLE sex...cuz u dont want her ending up as a single mom..and all the bad consequences..that comes with not being responsible of what u r doing..cuz today information talks about sex but not what happens after that... very good advice here Pinky.....the guy should go up for Statutory Rape, maybe then he will think about going after somone that is younger than him like that. |
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