exactly..well said..and i agree with this method..it worked with my sons and the whole gang of kids who have spent a lot of time at my home and with me...the young girls always come to me cause I listen and calmly talk with them about the real facts...

i can remember being 16, i got pregnant at 16 married at 16 and had my child at 16 then i didnt have anymore for 5 years.. it takes your teen life away. its gone and never comes back if you keep the child.which i did.

First I ned to ask a question, and correct me ifI am wrong. I have a lot of friends that grew up i Texas andit is my understanding that 16 is the legal age of consent there. If this is the case, then no matter how the kid disrespected her or her family, then he did nothing illegal and everyone needs to back off of him and leave him alone, or he will turn around and legally take legal action against you.

Now, for the sake of argument, lets say 16 is not the legal age of consent. And you as the parent press charges for statutory rape, which if I remember right you can not do in Texas, it is up to the prosecuting attorney's office (this us due to the fact that you are too emotionally involved and they do not want to see a potentially good kid who made a bad judgement call have his/her life ruined). But let's say you have charges pressed. Is this really going to do anything to help your daughter, or is it going to teach her that when she makes a bad choice in life, she can turn around and lay all the blame at anothers feet, and not take responsibility for her actions?
There are a LOT of women out there now that were taught that very lesson: you can choose whatever you want; if it is a mistake, then it is the other persons fault alone. This is not a responsible adult, and I am sure you will agree with me that you are more worried about helping her grown into being a mature young lady who is responsible and intelligent, than seeing her turn into some "hollywood movie neighborhood *****/queen" (not saying your daughter would do this, just generalizing).

I know it is hard, I have been in your shoes. My sister had sex in the backseat of a car with her boyfriend when she was sixteen, and the result was her becoming pregnant. She married the guy trying to do the right thing, and is now divorced, with two children from that relationship. I am not saying I agree with ehr actions, cause I dont. Hoever, they were in the end, her decision to make no matter what. And no matter how much we all stand up and say kids can not make a decision to have sex or not, the fact of life is they DO make that choice every day, and there is NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING that can be done to prevent it.

I applaud yuo for having talked with your daughter about everything earlier on in life, and going into her dating time, with the knowledge that she is going to have sex some day, probably before you are ready for her to do so. I also applaud you for being mature and responsible enough to realize that you can not prevent it, and thus teaching her about birth control/safe sex, in-so-far as talking about and providing condoms. I suggest that if you havent already done so, discuss ALL other aspects of sex with her now. If either of you are uncomfortable with doing so, find a mature and responsible adult that you trust, and she feels comfortable with to do so.
ALSO, take her in (again if you have not already done so), and have her take an std test, and then do so again six months from now (there are several that may not show up immediately). Do nOT dolike my es-wifes parents, and take her in, force her to have a pap smear, unless she shows signs of needing one. And do NOT lay down the fire and brimstone. You will only distance yourself from her, and she will end up doing a lot of stuff (soe possibly even more stupid or unsafe as having sex at 16) out of rebellion, than she would if you remain calm and rational.

Good Luck, and remember I am here if you need to rant and rave, or if you simply want to talk.

For almost all of the states, the legal age of consent is 16. a couple are 15, a couple others are 17. I think it's 12 in Africa! This is the age the courts have determined a person is mature enough to make decisions for themselves. It's not statutory rape unless there was no consent or one of the partners is mentally handicapped.

The best tactic my mom used with me growing up was scaring the hell out of me. 17-20 I only slept with 3 guys ever. If kids wont listen to you then just scare the hell out of your girl till she learns to get her head straight.

besides if she is going around having sex with the guy your problem should not be with the guy but you girl. She didn't come home crying about being raped she came home hiding the fact she just had sex with a 19yr old guy in a backseat some where.

Your problem should be with the fact your girl is leting herself be used by men for nothing more then a one night stand.

Take yourself away from the fact that this is your girl and look at it from the point of the guy. You need to find out what is going on with your girl that she feels the need to have sex with someone she just met and does not know at all.

she knew him as her Bf .Thet talked for 2 months and was at my house a cpl of times she thought he loved her .......Thats why she did it. shes young and wanted to make him happy just like all my girl friends did when i was 16

That is horrible. I am going to raise my girl to not have sex with bf's no matter how much they say they love her. Just for this kind of thing that happens to little girls. I just don't feel with their hormones going all wacky at that age that it is a good thing to mix sexual relationship of any kind at that age. I just hope they used protection.

.... I've been watching this thread, not knowing exactly what to say... I had sex at a very young age, but mine was not to "please" someone else. If your daughter is upset about the goings on...she has self esteem issues that you need to address. She needs counseling and needs it quickly....

and along with what Daniel said...most states the age of consent is either 15 or 16 with 4 years ie...15 and a 19, 16 and a 20 y o... so this was not rape...but again it is different in different states...but MOST states this is the case.

I understand how fathers think and feel about daughters.... I was someones daughter, and had 3 big brothers to boot... one was even a cop in the city that we lived. YOur daughter did this willingly.... you need to focus on helping her and your anger at some 19 y o that is young dumb and full of c*m.... it is misplaced..... If I look at your profile and do the math... you were a father before this young man.... you were him once.

I think this is where parents make thier first mistake...giving their kids condoms is like giving their kids permission to have sex!! My question is this, you sound to laid back about sex, what are you thinking? I think you need some parenting skills about sex...you need to teach your child NOT to have sex!!! You don't hand them condoms and say take these just in case!

That is sooooooooooooooo not a fair statement...kids are going to have sex if you tell them to do it or not to do it... at least he is open enough to talk to her about it, and at least she came to him about it.... That abstinence sh*t is for the birds....... I had sex...and my house was a very religious and strict household... i knew the consequences of my actions and didn't get pregnant or any STD's.... I knew what was up....

thats so mean I love it

yes sex is a natural thing and can be very beautiful when the person is ready, however at 16 she was not ready especially since it was her first real date. I never did anything like that my mom would have kicked my butt. I can honestly say i was 23 I wanted to wait untill I was in love with the person

ok so i never write in threads like this but i think that here i have to say something...it might be weird to hear but me and my parents have a great relationship and i am 18 this happened when i was 17 i was going out with a guy(he was my bf) and he was 21 and really my parents couldnt say anything because they tried to make things easier on everyone why do i say this because im young and i kno what we do you say go right and young people will say go left just to go against the grain so regardless of what you tell her she will find a way i have friends who are not alou to go out and stick guys inside of the house at nght when no one knows soo my advice just talk to your daughter and i mean really talk to her opendly where she could come and talk to you about having sex and everything else that way when their is something wrong she will come tell u not to mention if she thinks she is ready to have sex and you talk to her about it ....she will most likely know how to do it safely. best of luck and if you ever want a young persons point of viw you can email me anytime.

Good luck with that one.I taught my daughter that the "if you love me"line was crap but kids are so hormonal at that age and get caught up in the moment.
also to ruin some 19 yr olds life because your daughter had consensual sex with him I don't think is right.
Locking up your teen is not the answer,sitting her down and talking to her is.She feels bad enough ,believe me.Don't lose that communication...Good luck.

florida Statutory rape law states that a child of 16 can besexually intimate with a person up the 24 yrs of age

I disagree.I had the talk with my daughter but I had my head in reality.Because if I didn't give her condoms then the free clinic certainly could.Without my knowledge or consent.I would rather have had the open communication with my daughter than tell her "no sex"and pray she listened.As it turned out she got pregnant at 18 but hey by then she was of legal age and living with the guy.
I will point out I was a virgin until I was married the first time but even in my day I was a rare breed.

is it statutory rape when the victim is over 16 and there is only a three year age difference? My daughter was 12 and the guy was 17, but they told me if she had been 13 we would have had no case.

right. and teenagers always do exactly what they are told.

Am I the only one in here who was ever a teenager? Cuz I remember what they do - they have sex! It's normal. Yikes.