Tell he does not need to know how to flip burgers, give him a choice , get a job or get out!! he just needs motivation...

rent his room out without telling him

TOTALY AGREE!!
good lusk

Ok, so... can I just say, I used to be in the same boat as your son... Basically my dad took me back in, I have the evil step mother from hell who makes me get up at 9 am every day and clean two rooms in her house everyday as well as the whole family's laundry... I'm grateful for the place to stay therefore I don't complain about the work... but I had to learn the hard way... My dad was smart and never co-signed anything for me, we are not legally binded in any way except for my phone bill... Honestly, if you show him he has no financial support from you he will eventually man up and do it himself... if he loves his truck enough he'll get a job and pay the bill when it comes down to having it reposessed or keeping it. He'll get a job when he has no more money coming from mom and he needs gas, or food, or just to have some fun.

Sorry this was long, but it worked for me... and I love my parents for it.

I would give him the boot..he's nineteen and old enough to make his own way..you gave him the tools now its up to him to make the right choices.

I suffered from a lack of motivation at 19 ... or really I think it was a lack of self confidence . My Mother tried the i'm going to throw you out bit which paniced and depressed me so bad I attempted suicide because I saw no way out . I on the other hand had applied for SEVERAL jobs and even tried getting a job through 2 employment agencies .
Eventually I found a good job and worked up until last year . Now I "work from home" which is cool . Still with Mom but I think she enjoys the company and the help around the house now .

Don't be to harsh first find out what the problem is ... does he feel overwhelmed by suddenly being an adult ?
You could also start putting applications in for him online .... my Mom did this after I got my first job and found a new position for me making double the $$ .
Also if he isn't paying for his habits (tabacco) don't pay for it and maybe he will get some motivation when the withdraw kicks in .

You have hard choices for sure. I don't envy you. Not only have I seen it many times over professionally I have seen it personally. Anyone who hasn't lived it can not imagine the pain.

Can you stand your ground if you make an ultimatum? Sounds iffy; you did let him move back in after job corp. Not the smartest move. Water under the bridge.

See this situation for what it is. Yea he may have some "problems" but who is without problems. He has a marketable job skills even if the work is not glamourous. Is your job glamourous? Even if it is didn't you pay your dues? Time for him to pay his. Job Corp is "playschool" compared to the real world so don't feel sorry for him or like you have to give him a vacation just because he did it.

He doesn't want to go to the military? Too bad. If that is the only answer he finds for himself that is his choice. You can't sign him in so don't let him float that boat load of guilt.

Hate to say it but it is time for you to either put up with him or pack him up. You can give him a three day notice on his bedroom door. That will get him into a shelter. I would suggest you get someone big enough to stop him if he objects if he is around but even if he is not pack up his stuff and put it on the curb or in his truck.

The more time you give him to wake up, get a paycheck, and not loose his truck is just gravy. He is banking on you not letting him tank his credit. If you have money in it, or your name on it, do yourself a favor and turn it back before he runs and makes a big bill for you to pay off in repossession fees. If you turn it back he has a hope it will be resold and it hurts him less than a reposession or him driving it drunk and destroying it which frequently happens when they hit the street. You are still picking his consequences but under 21 is usually too immature to contact for that kind of money and whatever you can do to mitgate the earlier error in judgement his and or yours the better.

So what it is cold. You go to work if it is cold don't you? Does he have a waterproof hooded coat, gloves, and warm boots? Chances are he is going to loose the truck or at least won't beable to afford insurance, gas, and rent... buy him a bus pass.

You want to be "generouse" (he won't see it that way he thinks he is entitled to live at home until he is good and ready to leave or he would have found and alternative) pay for a couple days or a week at most in an extended stay hotel. (Welders get paid weekly. He can get a paid day loan if they hold back his pay for a week.) If you are lucky no Mom-the-Maid service after a couple of days reality will set in. I recommend doing this on Monday so the first instinct isn't to party the weekend away. Then he is on his own. He will be mad. Maybe for a long LONG time. Maybe permenently.

But what is the alternative another month year or decade of waiting for him to grow up? Out of jobcorp he will fall into the live off Mom crowd really fast if you allow it. That is drugs and alcohol and gang=banging I guarantee you.

Reality is, even if you draw a line in the sand, he will probably just find another person to take "pity" on him. Probably the person you least want; and ex, grandparent, girlfriend, the neighbor or a thug; who knows; maybe even the local police. If he has been paying you rent or disabled he may fight eviction. He may try the crying, pleading, and promising, or cussing, or suicidal threats, even lieing. Behavior usually gets worse before it gets better. Sorry to say experience predicts He will probably get drunk may even hit you or your boyfriend... if you have one, kick your door in, vandalize your car so be prepared. Parenting a "challengeing child' is not for sissys.

Even if he "wakes up" and does well don't count on him getting over it any time soon. It is quite likely he will pout or throw it in your face in the future. The hard part about saying "My way or the highway" is they usually spit it back in your face in the future. Usually with your grandkids. Especially if their new "Mommy" is a peer with similiar attitude problems and you find your child's new meal ticket is your grandchild.

Sorry I wish that none of this were true but you asked. Hopeful forwarned will make you stronger. I am here if you need an ear. Good luck.

not every one from this generation is like that thank u verry much...I work just about full time and pay on my student loans from my brief stay in collage, I pay rent to my parents every month, and i'm working on going back to school...might want to think about that before u write off the entire generation

don't threaten...do it...he's 19 what else do you owe him???

How did he get a loan without a job ???

I agree to a point, but keep in mind that in some states you can not legally throw an adult persons stuff outside or away or anything without first giving them a chance (usually two weeks or thirty days depending on where you are at) to remove it first. Same thing with kicking them out. In some places (I am not saying all), if you allow yuor child to continue living with you after they reach adulthood (18 generally speaking) then you are now their landlord, and you can not just kick them out. You have to take it to court (again this is some places, not all), and go through an eviction process. The judge will not make you let him stay as obviously there is no lease, but in some states youdo have to legally evict the person. Andyes this is technical legalities I am not at all saying it is common practice for a parent to have to do this. Most of the time the childleaves on their own, even when ordered to leave.

If you do not have a written lease then the whole "contract" is verbal... you can then verbally change the terms of the "contract"

I've read (and I believe) that motherly love is unconditional. It says "I love you no matter what" which gives a sense of security, but is free and thus comes without the need to repay. On the other hand, fatherly love says " I love you because you accept my guidance" which gives self esteem because it can be earned, but can be denied.
It seems to me that in this day & age of the single parent, it's no wonder that so many single moms are frustrated...
good luck

you can unconditionally love someone without letting them walk all over you too. I can love you....from over there. The most important kind of love is teaching your children how to be selfsufficient. Look at mama birds...when it is time, they push their young out of the nest to sink or swim. Maybe what is really wrong with society is not "motherly" or "fatherly" love, but this "sentimental" love.... We need to stop being aids and crutches to our children and start actually being parents.

Love is tied to RESPECT. I have a daughter that thinks dad should be an open check book. Even though she has lied & played old dad, to get her way. Now dad is an azz, for past 20 yrs., he refused to be a check book & made her accountable for her actions. I still love her; as much as I can. But I REFUSE to alow her to not grow up & be accountable. She knows where I am & these are my expectations for people I associate with.
After a certain age little birds leave the nest, on their own or with a boot. Been there done that, got the T shirt.

Her little brother agrees with me & sets standards for her visiting his home also.

See I may not totally or truly understand, because in my household, I lay all the rules:

Everyone is free to leave if they chose not to abide by them, and they are well aware that once they leave, they can only come visit.

What I say goes in my home.

Right back at you Lily

For both of you

In my parents house you also played by the rules, if you decided not to, you had a week to get out, I moved out at 17, (not because I didn't play by the rules, but because I no longer wanted to.... I respected them enough to leave before I pulled that crap) and I had to move home once when I was 21..... the rules were more strict, I was only there long enough to get my sh*t straight...then out again. Taught me alot. I'm very independant now......