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| Topic: 19 year old lazy child!!!!! | |
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this post IS labled "19 yr old lazy child"
at 19... he isnt a child. He will always be YOUR child.. but he isnt a little kid. Time to own up and start working towards something. We teach people how to treat us... and also if you treat him like a child and allow him to get away with things, then he is learning what he can get away with. Treat him like an adult, give him adult options, and also adult consequences. |
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Also if your son wants to go to school, he doesn't have to have a job to get a school loan. He doesn't have to have credit either, just about anyone can get a loan. BUT I agree IF he doesn't seem to want to get a job do you really think he will put forth any effort to get up to go to class?
I don't know if you have IVY TECH in your area, they accept anyone. If he is willing to go to school, maybe thats your answer?? If he has his GED, then he needs to get going on his applications now. PLUS with him being in his 20's, maybe you will get lucky and they won't go by your income. You should call and check on everything. |
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Off subject, seems like there aren't alot of jobs in Michigan.
Might want to ck Omaha.com or the BigO.com (think those are sites I have heard of) Omaha world Hearld news paper. Seems to be lots of work in this area & a shortage of workers. |
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Well, the good news is...he got a job yesterday!
I believe the unemployment rate in Michigan is the highest in the nation. It calls for a little more patience on my part and a little more contribution on his. |
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Well, the good news is...he got a job yesterday! I believe the unemployment rate in Michigan is the highest in the nation. It calls for a little more patience on my part and a little more contribution on his. YAY! That's great news!! Atta boy! |
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Well, the good news is...he got a job yesterday! I believe the unemployment rate in Michigan is the highest in the nation. It calls for a little more patience on my part and a little more contribution on his. YAY! That's great news!! Atta boy! I don't know...maybe it was the note I left him yesterday morning. Coincidence perhaps? Shrug. |
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I think ultimately, my son has a problem with self-esteem. I took him to apply where I work last summer and after the interview, he was really embarrassed about a question he answered. He used a word that wasn't a real word. I forget what it was but he realized after he said it, that it was wrong. He only gets jobs that friends or family hook him up with. He an excellent graphic artist and does some really remarkable things on the computer. Hopefully someday he'll put it to good use. I tell him this but I also tell him he has to work while he's perfecting his skill.
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Also if your son wants to go to school, he doesn't have to have a job to get a school loan. He doesn't have to have credit either, just about anyone can get a loan. BUT I agree IF he doesn't seem to want to get a job do you really think he will put forth any effort to get up to go to class? I don't know if you have IVY TECH in your area, they accept anyone. If he is willing to go to school, maybe thats your answer?? If he has his GED, then he needs to get going on his applications now. PLUS with him being in his 20's, maybe you will get lucky and they won't go by your income. You should call and check on everything. as far as student loans and credit goes, yes they do go by your credit score now, at least in indiana and michigan they do. I have been denied a student loan more than once due to credit issues. Originally a student loan was NOT supposed to have anything to do with your credit score, your right, but now yo can not even get cable tv or internet service without going through your credit history. Also with Ivy tech, i would be very leary, they just got busted a few years ago in indiana for falsifying records, and such. I remember reading that they were allowing "smart kids" to take tests for the "jocks and not so smart" kids in order to raise their graduating statistics, and a LOT of places will not hire you now if you graduated from ivy tech because of this. Another example of how they lie to incoming students: they promised my neighbor that when she finished what amounted to pre-law (three or four years of school at ivy tech) she would be garunteed a job as a judge. And this is on top of knowing she had a felony for drugs. I would definitely stay clear of Ivy Tech. Also, as far as for federal loans and grants (I dont know for each particular state) especially the pell grant, they go by household income, not income of the student. What this means is they take into account the total income of every person in the house. However, with all of that, school would still be a great option for him, especialy if he is dissatisfied with welding. He should still go out and do welding work to help pay for costs and such, or any other work, that is just being responsible and mature. But by all means go back to college to find work that he likes. |
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Keep encouraging them while they are applying. Getting a job at a young age is not what it was like when I started working. My 20 year old son has found it difficult getting jobs because of his age. Now mind you he dropped out of high school at 15, got his ged and went right to college. By 18 he had his degree and certification to work water treatment - and applied like crazy for jobs - only to never hear one word back - not even a thank you for applying. When young adults are treated as such, they end up losing their confidence - hence the no one will hire me feelings.
I have told my two kids that they are welcome to stay in my house as long as it takes to get on their feet...BUT they must be actively involved in helping me take care things around the house - ie my son cooks on nights I have to work late, mows the lawn, does dishes, vacuums and so on(He will make a great husband someday - at least I keep telling him that). My only advice is - keep reassuring him that SOMEONE will hire him, it just might take more effort to find that someone. While you don't have a job, you need to contribute to where you are living in some manner - ie chores. It is hard - I think most have written off this generation and for those who do want to work they feel that.... |
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I have told my two kids that they are welcome to stay in my house as long as it takes to get on their feet...BUT they must be actively involved in helping me take care things around the house - ie my son cooks on nights I have to work late, mows the lawn, does dishes, vacuums and so on(He will make a great husband someday - at least I keep telling him that). Thats really good positive re-enforcement.  its true... its hard to find work at this age. I, for one, reside in michigan... worse economy ever. I had a good, fun, steady job... until the owner came in one day and said "surprise! we are no more! we'll mail you your last paycheck" Its been really rough since. As i mentioned earlier... i even applied to burger king and got turned down. Im pretty sure my self-esteem plummeted to rock bottom that day. Its extremely discouraging... its hard to keep momentum. |
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I have told my two kids that they are welcome to stay in my house as long as it takes to get on their feet...BUT they must be actively involved in helping me take care things around the house - ie my son cooks on nights I have to work late, mows the lawn, does dishes, vacuums and so on(He will make a great husband someday - at least I keep telling him that). Thats really good positive re-enforcement. its true... its hard to find work at this age. I, for one, reside in michigan... worse economy ever. I had a good, fun, steady job... until the owner came in one day and said "surprise! we are no more! we'll mail you your last paycheck" Its been really rough since. As i mentioned earlier... i even applied to burger king and got turned down. Im pretty sure my self-esteem plummeted to rock bottom that day. Its extremely discouraging... its hard to keep momentum. I guess you gotta keep telling yourself, "It's not me". Your town is a small town and let's not forget the students at Hope probably keep the businesses supplied with part time help. Maybe if you expand your search area to say 30 miles you might get better luck? |
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It seems counter-productive to drive 30 miles for a job that pays me minimum wage. With the fuel economy... I will be spending the majority of my paycheck on just getting myself TO work.
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Edited by
Perhaps
on
Sat 02/16/08 07:12 AM
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It seems counter-productive to drive 30 miles for a job that pays me minimum wage. With the fuel economy... I will be spending the majority of my paycheck on just getting myself TO work. $5 in gas each way in even a vehicle like my Sierra extended cab. $10 per day in fuel cost. $48 dollars per day at $6. Seems like a net of about $30 per day after taxes to me. Edited because I did the math wrong. I drive 30 miles one way and it costs $5 each way in my truck. |
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It seems counter-productive to drive 30 miles for a job that pays me minimum wage. With the fuel economy... I will be spending the majority of my paycheck on just getting myself TO work. When I was your age, the best job I had was delivering pizza. I brought home no less than $30 and usually $50 per night in cash from tips and gas allowance. Got a paycheck on top of that! |
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It seems counter-productive to drive 30 miles for a job that pays me minimum wage. With the fuel economy... I will be spending the majority of my paycheck on just getting myself TO work. When I was your age, the best job I had was delivering pizza. I brought home no less than $30 and usually $50 per night in cash from tips and gas allowance. Got a paycheck on top of that! only problem is nobody pays gas allowance anymore (for the most part) and even less people tip anymore. At least in the ares I have done delivery service. I am of the mindset that I will shovel **** for eight hours if that is what it takes to keep working. I don't really care at this point. However, I am in Michigan and I can tell you that the economy HAS been rated the worst in the nation, and last I knew unemployment was one of the highest in the nation. I am not looking for work in michigan any more. I am not refusing work but I am actively looking everywhere else BUT michigan, primarily in upstate new york (used to live there want to move back there lol) |
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For one, make him stop smoking and chewing, that's a huge waste of money there and just stupid and unhealthy.
Next, get him a gas card from wal-mart so he can save that .03/gallon which over till will add up especially if he's spending more money to get to work then he's making. Third, make him buy his own groceries or pay half the phone bill or something like that. If he wants to live at home then he's going to take part in helping out with finances instead of being a freeloader. It'll save all parties more money, he'll take some of the burden off of you and he'll still be able to save up to get a place of his own in a year or two. |
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Also if your son wants to go to school, he doesn't have to have a job to get a school loan. He doesn't have to have credit either, just about anyone can get a loan. BUT I agree IF he doesn't seem to want to get a job do you really think he will put forth any effort to get up to go to class? I don't know if you have IVY TECH in your area, they accept anyone. If he is willing to go to school, maybe thats your answer?? If he has his GED, then he needs to get going on his applications now. PLUS with him being in his 20's, maybe you will get lucky and they won't go by your income. You should call and check on everything. as far as student loans and credit goes, yes they do go by your credit score now, at least in indiana and michigan they do. I have been denied a student loan more than once due to credit issues. Originally a student loan was NOT supposed to have anything to do with your credit score, your right, but now yo can not even get cable tv or internet service without going through your credit history. Also with Ivy tech, i would be very leary, they just got busted a few years ago in indiana for falsifying records, and such. I remember reading that they were allowing "smart kids" to take tests for the "jocks and not so smart" kids in order to raise their graduating statistics, and a LOT of places will not hire you now if you graduated from ivy tech because of this. Another example of how they lie to incoming students: they promised my neighbor that when she finished what amounted to pre-law (three or four years of school at ivy tech) she would be garunteed a job as a judge. And this is on top of knowing she had a felony for drugs. I would definitely stay clear of Ivy Tech. Also, as far as for federal loans and grants (I dont know for each particular state) especially the pell grant, they go by household income, not income of the student. What this means is they take into account the total income of every person in the house. However, with all of that, school would still be a great option for him, especialy if he is dissatisfied with welding. He should still go out and do welding work to help pay for costs and such, or any other work, that is just being responsible and mature. But by all means go back to college to find work that he likes. WOW you really hate IVY TECH eh? I went to Ivy Tech and I have never had a problem. I went for 3 1/2 years and one of my friends went and even though they don't get us our jobs, anyone will hire us. I am in Indiana and my son just got student loans and I asked if it was based on his credit...the answers I got was no. Now my son goes to Indiana Purdue Of Ft. Wayne, he got a student loan without any problem at all. I didn't have to co-sign his loan, he did it all on his own. Are you sure that your student loan was turned down due to your credit? If you were on probation due to grades, then they would turn you down. But according to IPFW they do not go by your credit. Maybe its just who you talk to?? |
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