i know it is a turn off. I have always been quiet and I do try to talk more.

You could always play a game while watching tv. Instead of having the volume on turn it off and make up your own script. You will both end up laughing and it's a way for you to open up more.

that's actually a good idea

start off by telling her in more than one or two words what the things about her you like are and some of the reasons why you want it to work with the two of you

I played that game with the spanish channel all the time with my ex. Lots of fun!

That's the only way I could watch TV when I was 17 and in Montreal for 6 months.( I don't speak French) My friend and I would stay up late at night laughing till my aunt would get upset

i have told her what i like about her and why i want it to work

Ok man, how do you talk to your best friend(s)? You should be exactly like that with her. Be comfortable and natural. Have confidence that what you have to say means something. If you're naturally quiet then have confidence that it's fine to be that way. She'll be ok with that. Or not. Who knows? Just be however you are.

Don't worry man. Just take the conversations one small step at a time. It takes time to build the confidence to get engage in conversations comfortably. It took me awhile to talk to even random girls who I don't care what they think of me. Work and time...

ok well here is the thing: Women think, and so do I, for that matter, that if someone really likes you and wants to keep you as a friend, you will be willing to open up and talk to her, even if it does sound dumb or not what you think she wants to hear. It sounds like she wants to get to know you better, so just forget all that nonsense and talk to her, why dontcha? Or at least make an effort to begin to talk to her. If she sees that you are really making an effort, she is going to like that a lot.

Yeah but she's tryin' to change him. So maybe this is just the first of many changes she'll request.

However, give her a little bit here and there and maybe she'll be happy. Maybe she isn't into quite time and she just talks and talks and talks. Sometimes the other person should just shut up and kiss.

If you don't talk you will be a boring guy.....

Everyone's given you good suggestions on topics to talk about....

I'm sure you have an opinion, points of view, life experiences....

Self-Confidence will turn a woman on quicker than you can cum....

Keep it together, Breathe....

Here's an article I wrote that may help you:

[DISCLAIMER: This article is riddled with PUA (pickup artist) jargon, but you should still be able to understand the basic points.]

"
Wasup PUAs,
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I did! I was hanging out with some members from the group when all of a sudden this overweight blonde bursts in our scene at In-N-Out and opens our set saying something about her funny shirt...
Oh! did I mention that I got this great leather jacket from Calvin Klein at the outlet in Gilroy? Funny story, really. Y'see, it was originally $400 but my mothher miraculously haggled it down to a quarter of the price. Let me tell you the secret to how she did it...
but before I tell you, listen to this amazing news! The presentation of the WCM went smoothly and the last meeting went great. A new guy was there, actually. Wondering who it is?
Wow, that's an interesting shirt you're wearing. The girl that opened us at In-N-Out was wearing this funny shirt and she just approaches us guys, obviously drunk, saying "WHO LOVES MY SHIRT?" HAHA so I put my bigass tophat on her head and I pulled it down over her face LOL.

The above is an example of "Multiple Threading" as described in VAH aka MM. You can see some obvious advantages to doing it: it builds suspense and leaves her thinking that the two of you have a LOT to talk about (stronger rapport).

Should you always multiple thread? NO. That's called Attention Defecit Disorder (and if you DO have ADD this technique should be a LOT easier for you so you're at an advantage). For most of us guys, constant multiple threading can be overbearing and frankly quite a draining task.

Multiple threading consistently lacks closure for a build-up of suspense, but should you be doing this all the time? You actually don't have to do this. Mix up your multiple threading with other conversational strategies.

I was at a coffee shop with Vain earlier tonight and number-closed this HOT blonde sophomore from Panama, so I was PUMPED. Afterward, we sat outside next to this girl I knew. With my high energy it was easy to get into a talkative state. I wasn't multiple threading per say, but I did find myself naturally implementing a certain conversational strategy I read about several years ago.

Here's the strategy (I tried to find a source for this but many PUAs have talked about this and not one can take credit): Break up any sentence she says into separate elements. "I love it when my friends send me mail." From here, you can ask her about 1) things she loves, 2) her friends, 3) her mail, or talk about 4) things YOU love, 5) your friends, 6) your mail. Options 1-3 can get HER talking more, and 4-6 gives you opportunities to tell DHV stories. Also, you don't have to rely on what SHE says. You can break down any sentence YOU say to lead into different threads. You can either wait until she reaches some sort of closure in what she has to say or you can actually conclude what you're saying before moving onto the next topic (which you already have in mind), OR you can multiple thread. Using this strategy, you will NEVER run out of things to talk about until YOU CHOOSE to end the interaction. Use calibration to determine whether you should get her talking more about herself or if you should DHV.

Combine and balance this skill with your multiple threading for optimal effects. Every PUA is unique, so find your own special mix that works best for you.

Rock,
-Chief
"

so your advice for him, being that he can't think of anything to say is to think of 8 things at a time for him to say lol

I prefer somewhat active dates rather than just sit at a bar. Especially on a first date cause there's a lot of pressure to think of things to say and keep things interesting. If I'm at a bar and there's a pool table I'll suggest we shoot some pool, that almost always leads to a "let's play for something" and then you can bounce betting ideas around. Or I'll ask if she people watches. Then we'll look around and find guys talking to girls and we'll role play the conversation.

If you go shopping with a girl you can always ask what they suggest in terms of cologne or shirts or whatever.

And don't think "what can I say that she'll find interesting?" to yourself the whole time, that's a lot of pressure. Instead try to bring her into a conversation about one of your interests something you know a lot about. Or ask about one of her activities and let her do most of the talking.

thats not bad advice, me thinks. The last paragraph in the PUA post should also be a helpful hint for you. I always get carried away and talk way too much when it is about something I know well. You should probably try to use that to help you.

Try telling her stories about events that happened to you. If you don't open up and talk, you will seem boring. Also maybe a little bit selfish or staid. If you don't think you're smart, then act smart. Talk. Who wants to spend time with someone who never shares or opens up? Trust me, even ppl who like to talk get sick of it.

i agree

i am not a talker either until i know someone
there has to be something you can talk about

Wow, I think I have a habit of talking too much! Hmmm, well, have you guys exchanged childhood stories yet? That might take some time for you, lots of opportunity for chit chat there. And maybe since the holidays are here you could talk about your fav Christmas (if you celebrate Christmas), your worst one, what you want to get this year, your fav gift one year. I don't know, stuff like that. I guess it's weird for me, because I tend to have such a big mouth, I never run out of things to say. :)

I was actually thinking about the childhood stories, I haven't talked about my childhood with her at all. or hers