Do men ever take time out to actually know their partner?

Honestly some do and some don't. Same for women. Also some don't let you get to know them. There are so many scenarios in this simple statement.

^^^^ what she said.
And I think it also depends on yourself, cos who and who you are attracts a certain type of (potential) partner.
And it depends on how clearly you communicate your wishes and desires, how much you open up and so on and so forth.

But there are men who are interested in really getting to know you and what makes you tick.

I thought I had but after 50 yrs together she told me I was the wrong man for her !

That's very unfortunate. Your match is out there!

Thanks for your feedback. I can't wait to meet a man who is humbled enough to invest his time in getting to know me!!!

My statement may seem simple but it's really not. Unless I just haven't met one yet because I've turned down so many men because they seem to be in a rush; or they just want to jump to it and they haven't even taken the time to discover any mysteries.

I went through dark days in my past, so I am very careful, what I say and when I say it, and to whom I talk ... means, I would take my time to know a person. It comes automatically.

yes

35 years until she didn't want sex anymore... 50 years until she told you you weren't the right one. Must have been some hell of a 15 years in between!

I guess you still love her, since you drag her into every conversation.

I can't, and won't, speak for all men.
I will speak, from my own perspective.


Some partners, are very much worth getting to know.
While some partners, should have never been called
'partner', in the first place.

lol or bitter bitter bitter

Yes.
People can't help but get to know their partner.

It's just not always how their partner wants them to, the knowledge isn't always exactly or conforming to how one "wants" the other to "know" them.

And (since the OP made it a "guy" thing) many times he's communicating knowledge of her that she doesn't realize is true, or that he's actually communicating/operating based on his knowledge of her.

And a lot of women don't seem to realize it's not really possible to know someone absolutely, as people, their lives, their life situations, are ever changing.

Of extreme importance in the question (of the question, or the asinine statement a lot of people make i.e. "get to know me!") is degree.
Exactly what amount of "knowledge" is he "supposed" to have and when is he "supposed" to have that knowledge.

Not to mention, can "women" (since the OP made it a "guy" thing) differentiate between a guy having adequate "knowledge" and choosing to act contrary to it as a means of expressing/enforcing individuality or setting/enforcing boundaries, and a lack of "knowledge" of her?"

I can’t speak for men, but I’m only interested in having a relationship with someone
that takes the time. There are plenty out there that do.

Something to take into account with this, is that HOW someone goes about getting to know you also varies a lot.

It's quite possible that some of the men who you took to be "in a hurry," were pursuing a different approach to "getting to know."

Although I myself am slow to move towards sexual experimentation, for example, I have known many people who were the opposite, women especially included. Males who failed to make a sexual advance of some kind at the time the woman expected, were discarded as being "obviously not focused enough."

I've seen many people, again, male and female alike, be in a hurry on some aspects, and willing to go slow on others, even to want to go VERY fast on initial things, and THEN slow down. Essentially, they wanted to save as much time as possible by getting through their personal collection of "red flags," so as to be able to be more confident that the LONGER time commitment might be worth it.

Ok true. I can see how it can be both ways. Although most women I'm around would love to settle down. Oh and yeah there are many expressions of love and getting to know someone. Ultimately I just don't see how being in a rush is one

Rock Gnome



No offense but your response cracks me up lmbo

🤣 Although I totally agree!!!

I'm no mindreader. Most of the time, I came across women that expected it. Or take cues from them, through voice inflections, physical observations and such. Since I was listening to them talking, the inflections I never heard. Toss in flirting. I don't do that, don't pick up on hints like that. Think I'm throwing hints of interest at you? I don't know I'm doing it.

Women love reading in things they see guys doing. Guess what, you're wasting your time with me. I really don't care for people who make judgements about people, through actions, body language, or assumptions. Nine times out of ten, they're dead wrong anyway.

I 'Express' love all the time.
I read love that is expressed to me.

For a year on this site, I searched looking for some woman that can express love which I can understand.
Lots of hits but actually, all misses.

It wasn't till I removed all my expectations and allowed a woman to be herself that I actually found someone real.
Plus, our initial meet was at MacDonald's and she didn't show up.
Had I just stopped there, I would have never met someone my gf is.
I gave it another chance and we met and immediately hit it off.
She is my kind of weird and we are weird together and frankly, I have laughed and loved more in the last 9 months than I have in 57 years.

But hey, I expect absolutely nothing from her and she expects nothing from me.
We accept each other as we actually are.
As for the 'Love' word, I told her its okay for her to tell me she loves me (she does regularly) but it might take a while for me to actually say it to her.
(Women need to express love when they feel it, why would I try to control that basic expression?)

However, I express my love for her with the actions I show.
Do I love her? I dunno.
She is very important to me and I miss her when she is not with me but I have felt that before.
For me to proclaim my love for another, I will shout it from the roof tops and things would go up a level.
We have a good thing as it is.
I accept her proclamations of love and she accepts my reservations.

She knows I love her.
I know she knows I love her.
I'll say it when I am ready.
She accepts that.
(I have said it but when I do, I deny it and she just laughs)

We both KNOW the time we spend together is more important than acknowledging our love for each other openly.
She knows and I know.
Our actions speak louder than any words can express.

She wasn't my first choice, I wasn't hers.
Our connection was unexpected.
It wouldn't have happened if we never met.
I wasn't looking for love I was looking to get laid...I did, but its more than that.
Our relationship far exceeds our sexual gratification.
There is a special connection between us neither of us has felt before.
We click together like puzzle pieces.
Totally unexpected and extremely unlikely for the fact we are less than 10 miles apart.

I credit my decision to consider potentials that were not what I expected as the main reason we were able to find each other. Had I stuck with my expectations and tried to force them on a woman, I would still be alone.

Expressing love is one of the simplest I do.
I have learned to accept my actual feelings instead of trying to make others live up to my idea of who I think they are supposed to be.
Its actually so simple and so complex because I was getting in the way.

It takes a whole lot of self-honesty and the ability to figure out what is REALLY important and what is NOT important.

I am full of love.
I know how to express my love for others.
Its as easy as breathing.

It usually isn't.
You need emotionally bonding moments.
Just pay attention and see the red signs real early. They usually show up way before you even meet in what they say, how they react and so on.