People always seem to want what they don't have?
Single people are seeking a relationship, and if it takes long, they get desperate or depressed or lose confidence.
People in relationship often (secretly) look back at their single days when they feel they were still living and enjoying life. I never have btw, but you hear that a lot, mostly from men I think.

Single people often go out a lot, do things, have fun in life. Then they get involved, suddenly it's all about their house. Renovating it, and spending all their time & money on that, not going out anymore because they're always doing the house up.

That last part may be particularly the case for the Dutch btw. Dutch ppl are like that, their home is everything, so usually very well maintained and looked after.

But in a way it's also wasting your time and young years where you could do things that are more important in life. Like day-trips, traveling, having fun and enjoying life.

One way or another many don't seem to ever be happy? I guess that means they're not happy with what they've got.

Great topic Crystal!

We do appear to be a species that wants more and that can look as if we're not happy with what we have. I think some are and some aren't. I wonder how much that has to do with us being spiritual beings meant to evolve. If we aren't evolving or in touch with our inner being it gives us that feeling of longing for something yet not knowing what it is... so we fill our lives with outwardly things or relationships thinking that is what's going to fulfill us. When it doesn't, we search for more or something else. This all happens on a subconscious level, kind of like sleep walking.

For me there are days when I am happy with what I have and other days when it's not enough. I get caught up in the thought pattern that I need this in order to do that. Like with continuing on my journey of seasonal work and travel... fear of the unknown, thinking I need a car or to be more financially fit, having the right shoes or everything I need in order to take that leap all interfere with my enjoying the process and things I do have that is actually enough to follow that dream.

I'm definitely guilty of not stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. Stopping long enough to be still and soak in the here and now. When I consciously do that I'm able to enjoy life and have fun. Right now I'm pretty much still existing... doing all the things we do in order to have a roof over our heads. Am I enjoying life and having fun? Not really!


Edited in... On a more positive note, I know that the outwardly things like belongings or relationships aren't going to bring me to a place where I'm enjoying life more. It's the inner work that will bring me to that place.

your right, but ppl are like sheep's and that is how the eeg this want, no independed thinkers anymore.
at the other site, the are jealous at ppl like us, i go out make trips travel around meet culture's
OH AND Dutch ppl, need 2e house in France, its a kind of status there


ENJOUY YOUR LIFE, GOOD OR BAD U HAVE JUST ONE
good luck

Yeah, and having things that make you happy now. Hobbies for instance.
I too go up and down. I'm still not fully connected to my creativity and inspiration, not the way I was a while back.

Yesterday I had a wonderful oracle card come up saying to enjoy all cycles of life, all aspects of a cycle, even the ones that aren't so pleasant or great.
Because then it already becomes easier, but it also puts you in the 'now'. I felt that was such a powerful message, as usually when things don't feel too good you indeed start focusing on changing that, the future -even if that's the next day- where you maybe will feel better.
But that future is also what you mention, if I have more money, if I have a lover, if I have this that or the other, then I can do/be/have XYZ.
I haven't master that lesson either, hahaha. Sometimes I do, other times I don't, meaning I still have kneejerk reaction to life & circumstances as opposed to creating my life.
Bloody annoying, as I was there end a while back.

Sounds like a great place to be, Delightful! Content & fulfilled. Nice!

I actually think we are in this limbo because we are -or are becoming- independent thinkers. We haven't had that freedom for thousands of years, things were decided for us by the systems, which was run by the ones in control & power.
Now we are getting more freedom, and opportunities to make choices ourselves, but that comes with taking responsibility & being accountable. That's a new commodity and we have to learn the skills needed for it.
We're in a way like children who have to learn to walk, run, cycle, and wipe our own @$$es.
Many are unhappy, and thus look for external stuff/people to fill the void, because they feel the system isn't working anymore, people don't want to be in a straight-jacket. Yet at the same time they're afraid to take responsibility and action, or simply don't know how to.

I think many also don't get the fact that we're here to enjoy life and be happy and prosperous, not to be plodding until we are able to retire. That's what the system has made us believe and that's still in our DNA.
And it's not like my life has been all joy, nor am I living a prosperous life financially.
But if I look at my neighbours, in their 30s, now spending all their spare time and money on doing up the house. Me thinking, WTF are you doing with your lives? Go out and have some hotdanged fun!!

In that sense the English and Irish do a better job, haha. ALthough that may be due to poverty, but I know an Irish woman, married to a Dutch man. They don't spend much time on their house, they spend their time and money on enjoying life and happiness. Their house isn't much according to Dutch standards, but... they are so happy! And it leaves them with money to spend on the good things in life, which is not new window frames, hihi.

Yes, exactly! And it can be annoying because there are times when I am in the here and now enjoying life, and then I'm back to the future thing again, forgetting how content not fretting over what I don't have yet was, haha.

I'm still a work in progress... but for today I will focus on enjoying the day as it unfolds.

Myself I'm very content where I'm in life..and what I have...

Yes I do try to spruce up parts of my house and would have been able to do even more by now if I had not went and bought a trike.. lol At least it is paid for...

But now I've been going more in the last 10 years then I ever have taking cruises and seeing stuff I have always wanted too.. Been riding for almost 2 years this last weekend just rode 1,016 miles on my trike to Arkansas to do some riding with family & friends..

I still have my down times that I want to stay home and do a few projects..

I'm not one that has to be in a relationship.. But at this time unless they ride as well... it would be a disadvantage...

Many times it all comes down to, one has to be happy within. The way I look at it if I find someone then great but it is not something I have to have nor ever feel that it will never happen.. For one never knows.. If your not happy within you will never find that happiness for another can not make you happy if you are not with yourself~~~

Sorry, just plain happy here ;-)

Always have been, well since I left home at 18 and
made my own way.
In my life for the glory, I take the negatives in stride
and also take the blame for my actions.

I do not believe in the 'greener grass' if I want a change
I make it..hopefully for good reasons.

Home is hearth and a haven so tis important that it
reflects me and mine.

If you are not happy with what you have, you never will be happy. It's one thing to need something and go for it. It's quite another to keep up with the Jones's.

On the whole, I'm satisfied. Could use a bit more activity outside the home but other than that, no complaints at all. When I look around at my fellows, I realize it could be far worse than it is and I find myself most grateful.

Sometimes? Sometimes not? Sometimes too busy to really worry about it?
Sometimes not really realizing I'm enjoying it but I am? Sometimes not really realizing I'm not enjoying it and then not realizing that has passed and I'm enjoying it?
I'm not really going through every moment of my life as an objective observer of my own life?


Great! Once you know what motivates someone, they're much easier to understand and communicate with.


"Seem?" That's not a very helpful observation.
They could "seem" that way for any number of reasons.
They could be masking any happiness when interacting with another person because of the attitudes/beliefs/behaviors of the person they're interacting with, and it has nothing to do with how they really feel.


Maybe they shouldn't be.

Screw all that.
I enjoy life when my health is favorable to the things I want to do.
Lately, not so much.
Life is just life.
Frankly, I'm not impressed at all.
Remove entropy and ask me again in 50 years.

You are either alive or you are not.
If you are not, there is no you to contemplate that fact.

Nice TxsGal!! And I think that's what I mean. Enjoying life by doing what you truly love over doing stuff that's also nice -doing up the house- but in the large scheme of everything far less important.
Over a thousand miles in a weekend, woooaa! Haha. You go girl!

Oh that sounds familiar, yes!

There is always good moments, there is alwaya bad moments. I don't enjoy life as such, I only enjoy certain moments. But in bad moments I try to make sure, they won't drag me down no more.

At the moment yes!

But like anyone else there are ups and downs.
Keeping the ups going is the thing.

I think any intelligent person, when faced with modern living, can't help but feel skeptical of the accepted values of life.
A times we all re-evaluate our values themselves. Decide what is important to US.
Somewhere near the top of the list is "companion " It changes position sometimes. But it's always there.

how long I'll remain happy to be on my own, I don't know. But I aim to be happy finding out. ( If that makes any sense)

there are many many people much worse off than me.my problems are tiny compared to theirs.
It makes me keep any depressed thoughts on a very short leash.

There are people, who went to sleep last night,
that will never wake up again.

When my bloodshot eyes pop open in the morning,
I'm grateful for the gift of another day.

Life? I'm damned happy to be here.


Yeah... I know.
The point is 'happy in life'.

Yeppers... Happy single.... Happy in a relationship...

Oh yes! Through good or bad I'm enjoying every bit of this life, especially when I know I only have ONE.