Topic: Beauty in the eye of the beholder
no photo
Sun 02/10/19 09:23 AM


beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder..until closing time and they turn on the lights..and then it's usually like damn maybe I shoulda switched to hard liquor..LOL

Toodygirl5's photo
Sun 02/10/19 11:14 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Sun 02/10/19 11:14 AM

.. it's the same problem when you get to know somebody you like them..
You like their personality you like their physical appearance... you can totally see yourself being with them... but then you sleep together and they are ... well let's just say less than exciting in the bedroom...
There's all kinds of things that go into a relationship to make them work... some things you can Overlook and something's you can't


So their performance in the bedroom is more important than the way She looks then?


Toodygirl5's photo
Sun 02/10/19 11:15 AM



beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder..until closing time and they turn on the lights..and then it's usually like damn maybe I shoulda switched to hard liquor..LOL


laugh


FeelYoung's photo
Sun 02/10/19 09:53 PM
When I was a kid we had to drive 20 miles to the grocery store/retail/doctor/etc. Often mom would go into a store and I'd wait in the car with my Dad. We watched people as they walked by. My dad always said, "don't look at their face - watch the way they walk and how they dress". I learned that a person reflects their feelings by the way they walk - confident, hurried, sad, happy, shy. Also their clothing tells a story - wrinkled clothes depict low self-esteem, Clean clothing takes some responsibility to present a good image in public, etc. Fancy clothes in an inappropriate setting can mean several different things. I think both men and women look first at the face - maybe we put too much emphasis on our face and not enough on our personality.

JustBeHonest's photo
Mon 02/11/19 06:40 AM


.. it's the same problem when you get to know somebody you like them..
You like their personality you like their physical appearance... you can totally see yourself being with them... but then you sleep together and they are ... well let's just say less than exciting in the bedroom...
There's all kinds of things that go into a relationship to make them work... some things you can Overlook and something's you can't


So their performance in the bedroom is more important than the way She looks then?

It’s gotta be the whole package drool


Mike6615's photo
Mon 02/11/19 10:26 AM
Edited by Mike6615 on Mon 02/11/19 10:27 AM
"You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes...well, you might find...you get what you need." (The Rolling Stones, 1969)

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 02/11/19 01:04 PM
Beautiful?


Totage's photo
Tue 02/12/19 06:40 AM



Really!

Men know when a woman is attractive.

Women know when a man is attractive.

However, Women don't look for the same things Men look for.

A person doesn't Always get whom they are attracted to.
:
brokenheart


What comes to mind ?



I do website development and design. I used to be part of a group where we would share our sites and other projects and critique and rate them, give each other helpful feedback and what not. Well, I would spend hours on projects until I felt they were "beautiful". A lot of people didn't feel the same way, but a lot of other people agreed that it was beautiful. Some times I would make changes according to the feedback and I wouldn't like how it came out, but would submit them to be critiqued anyway just to see what would happen, of course sometimes those who thought it was ugly at first would think it was beautiful afterwards.

Anyway, yeah beauty is simply individual preferences. Our definition of beauty can change over time as well. When I was younger I used to think spiders were the ugliest of all creatures created, I never bother to learn about them, they were gross and disgusting and deserved to die. Well, I still don't care much for spiders and they're still pretty ugly, just not as hideous as I once perceived them to be. As time went on, I learned a little here and there about them and kinda appreciated them a little more, so yeah they're still ugly, but they have a purpose so they're not all that bad.

I worked with this woman. I thought she was very attractive and she seemed like a nice woman. As I worked with her, I quickly saw how she was a horrible worker and this changed my perception of her completely. I was disgusted and annoyed with her and everything about her.



Interesting response!

However, men still know what's attractive, in reference to Women and beauty.

Whether he can get her is a whole nother subject.





Well, it comes down to individual preferences. The more you know yourself, the more defined your definition of beauty. Really, regardless of gender we all know what beauty is and none of us know what beauty is at the same time, that's the beauty of beauty. :)

Every man has their own definition of a beautiful woman, because how we see beauty is an individual preference (or array of preferences). Defining a beautiful woman kinda comes down to what you want in a way.

no photo
Tue 03/19/19 06:54 AM
Nice

no photo
Tue 03/19/19 07:07 AM

"You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes...well, you might find...you get what you need." (The Rolling Stones, 1969)

Why did it take me all the way into my adulthood to hear this song and realize this :joy:

Seakolony's photo
Tue 03/19/19 08:00 AM
Yes beauty is in the eye of the beerholder

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Tue 03/19/19 09:52 AM

Unfortunately, MOST (not all) people look at the outer packaging without giving enough time to judge the treats inside.

Well, the outer package shows much of what the inner treats are going to be like.
If someone is confident, it shows.
If someone is ill, it shows
If someone is happy, it shows
If someone is positive, it shows
If someone is a serious grumpy a-hole, it shows
And you can even tell whether someone has a backbone or not
whether someone is hard and arrogant
and so on...

Especially the eyes tell an awful lot. Most people's eyes hold a lot of pain. I see and sense that right away, even when they're smiling.
That's not what I want to see in my partner.

Also, if I have to wake up next to someone in the morning for the rest of my life I don't want to have the Bejesus scared out of me when I open my eyes.
Some things are just too much to overlook. Then the person can have a lot of treats inside -who doesn't btw?- but then they're not for me.

FeelYoung's photo
Tue 03/19/19 10:15 AM

Well unfortunately the internet and dating sites are full of people that mislead other people.. I don't think it's intentionally though... lot of people just take headshots no full length body shots.......



in reply to NO1 - I have used several full body shots. I rarely smile for a photo, it feels fake. SO, I have been deactivated twice for showing a full body shot. Even though many OTHER people do that. The reason the site gave was "profile photo must be face only and smiling) - so don't necessarily blame the person posting.
Also, i discovered you CAN put full body shots on your remaining photos. of course, not all people stick around long enough to look there, And of course there are those "special somehow" people who post no photo at all, show an outline only, or 3/4 body mixed in with a carnival ride or a herd of horses, and that seems to be fine with the site.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 03/19/19 10:45 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Tue 03/19/19 10:46 AM


in reply to NO1 - I have used several full body shots. I rarely smile for a photo, it feels fake. SO, I have been deactivated twice for showing a full body shot. Even though many OTHER people do that. The reason the site gave was "profile photo must be face only and smiling) - so don't necessarily blame the person posting.
Also, i discovered you CAN put full body shots on your remaining photos. of course, not all people stick around long enough to look there, And of course there are those "special somehow" people who post no photo at all, show an outline only, or 3/4 body mixed in with a carnival ride or a herd of horses, and that seems to be fine with the site.


I never was a "smiler"...even in school pictuires as a kid..
And, it had nothing to do then (or now) with having bad teeth.

And there are very few pictures of me anywhere..I never liked having my picture taken...
The few that are on my various profile I had to take specifically for that purpose...

So, if the fact I am not smiling in my profile picture runs someone off, oh well....
P.S...I do have one full body pic on my profiles...not the one here though.




I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 03/19/19 10:48 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Tue 03/19/19 10:49 AM



Especially the eyes tell an awful lot. Most people's eyes hold a lot of pain. I see and sense that right away, even when they're smiling.
That's not what I want to see in my partner.


I wouldn't be put off by someone with "pain" in their eyes..
You don't know what caused it...it could have been something beyond their control...and, I won't judge someone because of that.
Rather, I'd be compaasioante, because they obviously had a struggle/challenging life...and survived.
Maybe I could learn something from them.

msharmony's photo
Tue 03/19/19 10:57 AM

I presume you are meaning the physical side?
It really depends on maturity. Maturity in both men and women looks beyond the physical to the person if you are looking for a healthy, lasting relationship.


Maybe this is the bottom line. I have found that I don't quite fall into the fairy tale 'instant attraction' and butterflies type situation often. Many times, it is after I get to know a person, that I literally SEE them differently and they can BECOME attractive, or rather I may start to finally NOTICE their attractiveness, where I may not have at first glance or initial introduction.

Many things besides the mere physical attributes that media feeds me can make me notice how 'attractive' a person is.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 03/19/19 11:16 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Tue 03/19/19 11:17 AM


I presume you are meaning the physical side?
It really depends on maturity. Maturity in both men and women looks beyond the physical to the person if you are looking for a healthy, lasting relationship.


Maybe this is the bottom line. I have found that I don't quite fall into the fairy tale 'instant attraction' and butterflies type situation often. Many times, it is after I get to know a person, that I literally SEE them differently and they can BECOME attractive, or rather I may start to finally NOTICE their attractiveness, where I may not have at first glance or initial introduction.

Many things besides the mere physical attributes that media feeds me can make me notice how 'attractive' a person is.


THIS.

I am so overe this hooey about "it all starts with attraction"..
"Atttraction" can be like MsHarmony said...
"after I get to know a person, that I literally SEE them differently and they can BECOME attractive, or rather I may start to finally NOTICE their attractiveness, where I may not have at first glance or initial introduction."

Now, there are specific things that turn me off, and no amount of interaction will change that..

Plus, what *I* find hot/ attractive/ cute/ handsome is *not* what most women apparently do..
I like what *I* like..and they like what *they* like..and that's fine...

no photo
Tue 03/19/19 01:34 PM
I'm not too much into looks (except for my own) though I do have certain "parameters", if you like. I prefer the man to be taller than me and not too thin.

However, I'm a sucker for wits and quirkiness. I love those qualities.

no photo
Tue 03/19/19 01:40 PM

I'm not too much into looks (except for my own) though I do have certain "parameters", if you like. I prefer the man to be taller than me and not too thin.

However, I'm a sucker for wits and quirkiness. I love those qualities.

I’m exactly the same you took the words right out of my mouth lol

no photo
Tue 03/19/19 01:41 PM


I'm not too much into looks (except for my own) though I do have certain "parameters", if you like. I prefer the man to be taller than me and not too thin.

However, I'm a sucker for wits and quirkiness. I love those qualities.

I’m exactly the same you took the words right out of my mouth lol


lol I also have a picture where I look exactly like you. :smile: