Topic: Dating in today's time
sweetgirltanya's photo
Sun 07/22/18 02:22 PM
More and more I feel like I'm a lone survivor from an apocalypse. People looking at me strangely wondering where I came from and why I think the way I do. I have become a minority when it comes to dating the way it used to be. It has become abnormal to want to date and get to know someone before sleeping with them. Now the norm seems to be hook up first get to know you later....maybe! I can't say I find it difficult to get dates but rather get quality dates. I find it extremely difficult to find attractive men of quality, good character, values, ones who truly respect proper courtship. When did it become appropriate behavior to text other people on a date? Or text the opposite sex in front of you if you're casually dating? There seems to be a lack of respect for relationships. Like that expectation is too high! I feel like I'm trying to find the Holy Grail! More and more I feel like the few people who may still think like this are becoming extinct.

BlakeIAM's photo
Sun 07/22/18 02:55 PM
A lot of truth in your post.
A lot of people want instant gratification without giving any thought to the potential consequences.

Unfortunately in this present day a lot of people are shallow and self centered.
100% total complete turnoff.

That being said there are still some great people out there just have to sift through the riff raff , or hope they come across you first.

I hope you find (or they find you) what you are looking for in a potential date/relationship.

Easttowest72's photo
Sun 07/22/18 03:05 PM
Sweetgirl, I know what you mean. Hang in there and don't let anybody make you change. Best thing you can do is wait on a guy that will treat you right. It's ok to be alone till then. My ratio this weekend was 4 guys asking me for sex vs 2 asking for a real date.
Drop the players who text other women on dates...right after they pay the check for dinner.

no photo
Sun 07/22/18 03:09 PM
Edited by chairman_z on Sun 07/22/18 03:13 PM
This is a common theme Ive been hearing ( reading) for a while.

There are people like yourself OP who is looking for quality people to settle down with, and not "give it up" so to speak until you're ready and bonded emotionally.

There is nothing wrong with that, you just have weed through the junk to find the diamonds that shares your core values.

Unfortunately on free sites like this one, its brings out all the whack jobs, wingnuts, douche bags, players, dirtbags, Bill Clinton's sycophants, players, scammers , freaks you name it.

Today dating is like a buffet , you have so much to choose from and most want to sample everything.

Believe me when I say this , there are a few us still holding out waiting to meet our Ms.Right or in your case Mr.Right who shares the same core values.

hang in there Tanya, it will happen if you stick to your values and just keep kicking those who dont share your values to the curb.


BlakeIAM's photo
Sun 07/22/18 03:12 PM
:thumbsup:

Stu's photo
Sun 07/22/18 04:25 PM
What's a date?..

Besides when a bill is due, my next doctor appointment, when to sleep, or get up?

sweetgirltanya's photo
Sun 07/22/18 04:43 PM

A lot of truth in your post.
A lot of people want instant gratification without giving any thought to the potential consequences.

Unfortunately in this present day a lot of people are shallow and self centered.
100% total complete turnoff.

That being said there are still some great people out there just have to sift through the riff raff , or hope they come across you first.

I hope you find (or they find you) what you are looking for in a potential date/relationship.


Thank you for your thoughtful reply. It's very much appreciated.
I posted because I hope I'm not alone in how I feel and to get some hopefully positive feedback.

As for what I'm looking for in a potential date/relationship. Well someone who is relationship minded. Someone is open to sharing their life as well as wanting to be a part of mine. Someone who genuinely wants to love and be loved.

sweetgirltanya's photo
Sun 07/22/18 05:05 PM

Sweetgirl, I know what you mean. Hang in there and don't let anybody make you change. Best thing you can do is wait on a guy that will treat you right. It's ok to be alone till then. My ratio this weekend was 4 guys asking me for sex vs 2 asking for a real date.
Drop the players who text other women on dates...right after they pay the check for dinner.


Thank you for your supportive reply. I appreciate it.

I fully am of the same mindset. Be patient. Wait till the right guy comes along and believe it or not I've actually been ok with being on my own. I believe in my convictions. The issue is, it's been 6 years! and truth be told I'm exhausted, frustrated and starting to believe I won't find him. I feel like I'm running a marathon but I have no idea of when it's going to end! When I initially started online dating. I thought, wow! I'm going to be exposed to hundreds of guys. This will quicken the process and allow me to find the right guy more efficiently. Hahaha the joke was on me. It really exposed me to a lot more of what I didn't want! Only now allowing me to go through the process of wasting my time trying to sift through all the messages and lies to hopefully find one good prospect. I'm trying to stay strong. But let me tell you.....it's NOT EASY! I also find the experience to be no different on the paid sites. Just more men who are admittedly separated.

Diitron's photo
Sun 07/22/18 05:53 PM
Technology has changed things. Before cell phones and the internet the only way you could meet someone is face to face. You would exchange phone #'s and wait for a call at your house. It took effort and time.

Fast forward to today. The internet has made things not only easier but puts the temptation of new beginnings, attractions,interests,keeping up with the next person whatever you can think of in front of you on a cell phone. Everything exploded with the cell phone.

The fact is this relationships take work and many years to evolve and flourish also there's the chemical reactions in the brain and the waning of chemistry over time which is natural. People second guess or speed date to get what they feel they want. Secure people put on weight together and work through life.

People want a change there's it is,people want excitement there it is, We're creating a new breed of addict and emotional junkie...and the children are suffering I've seen it first hand.

People buck the natural order of life. It is becoming a mutation. I promise this though it will return and the cycle will start over again some day but things will be bad b4 that happens.

no photo
Sun 07/22/18 06:26 PM

More and more I feel like I'm a lone survivor from an apocalypse. People looking at me strangely wondering where I came from and why I think the way I do. I have become a minority when it comes to dating the way it used to be. It has become abnormal to want to date and get to know someone before sleeping with them. Now the norm seems to be hook up first get to know you later....maybe! I can't say I find it difficult to get dates but rather get quality dates. I find it extremely difficult to find attractive men of quality, good character, values, ones who truly respect proper courtship. When did it become appropriate behavior to text other people on a date? Or text the opposite sex in front of you if you're casually dating? There seems to be a lack of respect for relationships. Like that expectation is too high! I feel like I'm trying to find the Holy Grail! More and more I feel like the few people who may still think like this are becoming extinct.

This :point_up_2:
Just stay away from a**holes. Good luck. waving

oldkid46's photo
Sun 07/22/18 07:27 PM
As we age and have more life experiences, the desire to be coupled with someone changes and the reasons change too. There also tends to be a difference based on self sufficiency. Some men seem incapable of looking after themselves and their domestic needs; some women are incapable of comfortable supporting themselves. These are the ones who really need to be in that LTR lifestyle. There are others who are very self sufficient and enjoy the freedom they have. While many of these are interested in finding a partner, their expectations of a partner are very different. Please understand where you are in your life so you can make an intelligent choice.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 07/23/18 12:39 AM
Edited by Tom4Uhere on Mon 07/23/18 12:40 AM
More and more I feel like I'm a lone survivor from an apocalypse. People looking at me strangely wondering where I came from and why I think the way I do. I have become a minority when it comes to dating the way it used to be. It has become abnormal to want to date and get to know someone before sleeping with them. Now the norm seems to be hook up first get to know you later....maybe! I can't say I find it difficult to get dates but rather get quality dates. I find it extremely difficult to find attractive men of quality, good character, values, ones who truly respect proper courtship. When did it become appropriate behavior to text other people on a date? Or text the opposite sex in front of you if you're casually dating? There seems to be a lack of respect for relationships. Like that expectation is too high! I feel like I'm trying to find the Holy Grail! More and more I feel like the few people who may still think like this are becoming extinct.

:thumbsup:


This is a common theme Ive been hearing ( reading) for a while.

There are people like yourself OP who is looking for quality people to settle down with, and not "give it up" so to speak until you're ready and bonded emotionally.

There is nothing wrong with that, you just have weed through the junk to find the diamonds that shares your core values.

Unfortunately on free sites like this one, its brings out all the whack jobs, wingnuts, douche bags, players, dirtbags, Bill Clinton's sycophants, players, scammers , freaks you name it.

Today dating is like a buffet , you have so much to choose from and most want to sample everything.

Believe me when I say this , there are a few us still holding out waiting to meet our Ms.Right or in your case Mr.Right who shares the same core values.

hang in there Tanya, it will happen if you stick to your values and just keep kicking those who dont share your values to the curb.

:thumbsup:

A lot of truth in your post.
A lot of people want instant gratification without giving any thought to the potential consequences.

Unfortunately in this present day a lot of people are shallow and self centered.
100% total complete turnoff.

That being said there are still some great people out there just have to sift through the riff raff , or hope they come across you first.

I hope you find (or they find you) what you are looking for in a potential date/relationship.

:thumbsup:

no photo
Mon 07/23/18 03:07 AM
I second BlakeIAm. There is too much self-centeredness. I totally agree.

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 07/23/18 01:10 PM

This is a common theme Ive been hearing ( reading) for a while.

There are people like yourself OP who is looking for quality people to settle down with, and not "give it up" so to speak until you're ready and bonded emotionally.

There is nothing wrong with that, you just have weed through the junk to find the diamonds that shares your core values.

Unfortunately on free sites like this one, its brings out all the whack jobs, wingnuts, douche bags, players, dirtbags, Bill Clinton's sycophants, players, scammers , freaks you name it.

Today dating is like a buffet , you have so much to choose from and most want to sample everything.

Believe me when I say this , there are a few us still holding out waiting to meet our Ms.Right or in your case Mr.Right who shares the same core values.

hang in there Tanya, it will happen if you stick to your values and just keep kicking those who dont share your values to the curb.




:thumbsup: this